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I spent the morning cleaning my dinky 3 bedroom apartment. Textbooks that were stacked around the coffee/ kitchen table are now moved to my room. I slammed a pizza in the oven and by the time Jace called up I was dead tired. I have to let him in from downstairs, moments later he is at my door. "Hey."

"Hey," I move to let him in.

"Your apartment is cute."

"It's small."

"At least you don't live with your parents." They wanted me to so much though.

"I thought you had an apartment."

"I guess I do, technically. Alec and I share one by the college but we rarely use it."

"Why?"

"It's better to be home." His tone is one of someone who does not want to be questioned further. Anyway the oven dings. Jace sits down on the couch. I place on a trivet that was on the coffee table and put an oven mitt on. I grab the pizza and race to put it down as the heat burns through my mitt. "Hot?" He asks.

"Hot."

"Like you." he says, sending chills through my spine.

"Cliche." I reply, acting nonchalant.

"Yeah you're right. You aren't hot; you are beautiful." My face gets warm.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Coke."

"I have Pepsi."

"Fine," he sighs. I grab him a can and I grab myself one. It takes another trip to the kitchen to gather the plates and stuff. We cut the pizza. "You made this?"

"Technically DiGiorno did, but I put it in the oven."

"It takes skill not to burn it."

"That is true." Jace opens his can and takes a sip. I take my pizza and dunk it in some ketchup.

"That is weird."

"It tastes good." He reaches over and dips his pizza in my ketchup. Then he eats it.

" is good."

"I know." I finish my piece and put my head on Jace's shoulder. I shouldn't be leading Jace on like this. It isn't fair. Every time I think of being without him I can't stand it. This is ridiculous. It is only our third date. I have to call this off now. It's not fair to him. "Jace, I can't do this." I say sitting up.

"Do what?"

"This. Us."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just can't be in this right now. I am so sorry."

"Did I do something?"

"No. I just can't do this. Please just go. I am truly sorry."

"Alright." He leaves and I fall over into the fetal position.

-0.o.0-

I was crying. It was a really pathetic scene. When someone knocks on my door I have to run to the sink and wash my face off. When I open the door, arms close around me before I can see who it is. The person says, "Clary, I missed you." It's my mom and Luke. My mom lets go and I move to let them in.

"I guess Simon called." I state.

"You didn't."She says and a wave of guilt runs through me.

"I'm sorry."

"No, we get there is a lot on your mind." adds Luke.

"You have got no idea."

"Clary, you'll fight through this," encourages my mom. I just blew my chance with Jace, though.

"I know."

"Do you want to move back with us?"

"No. I want to stay here. Simon will keep coming by."

"Alright Honey."

"Thanks you guys."

"I love you sweetie."

" I love you too." she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading to the door. Luke follows but lingers to say, "I know you're a survivor Clary and I love you."

"You too." Then they are gone. I go to close the door but something white catches my eye. It's a rose. I grab and take it into my apartment. There is a ribbon and a note tied around it. It reads 'Tell me what's wrong. ~J'

If only I could, Jace, if only I could.

Sorry about this being short, but the next one will be longer!