Chapter 7: Jobs
Author's Note: I'M SORRY. I am a terrible, terrible person. I am evil and cruel and my computer broke. A week ago. T.T And I got a new one. So I really have no excuse. Forgive me? Pretty please with a shirtless FMA character of choice serving a sunday?
Disclaimer: I tried to talk Envy into stealing the rights for me... but I think Niki broke him. Damn it.
Chapter 7: Jobs
It turns out that when Niki had been running around blowing stuff up and gathering wreckage on her date, she had also managed to find a job. As a waitress in a café. With a frilly dress uniform. Of course, she hadn't known about the uniform when she took the job, but it took the combined efforts of Brann and Danni to keep her from going back and ripping the owner's entrails out when she opened the package with her uniform and saw it.
"That goddamn bastard!" shrieked Niki, "I didn't see any OTHER girls wearing it! He's a fucking pervert!"
"Didn't you say you were the only waitress?" Brann grunted as she physically restrained Niki, "Why would the other employs wear the waitress uniform?"
"SHUT UP!" Niki yelled, "YOU WEAR THAT FUCKING EVIL, TORTUROUS DEVICE! IT HAS HEELS!" Danni winced in sympathy.
"You could always quit?" She suggested.
"HELL NO! I MET ENVY AT THAT CAFÉ AND IT HAS LOW HOURS WITH GOOD PAY! THAT MEANS TINKERING TIME AND FUNDS!" Niki was turning a very interesting shade of red now. Brann shrugged,
"You're own fault then. Maybe if you do really well he'll let you request a uniform change. And I'm pretty sure that killing the owner would get you fired." A slow, evil smirk came across Niki's face,
"But what about stealing from him?" Both the other girl's looked at her blankly. Niki sighed, "He's well off and I hate him. Our first heist! Sweet revenge and he'll never know it." Danni was nodding slowly in understanding and Brann made a face.
"Do we HAVE to wear the skin-tight leather suits that you modeled after Cat Woman? It's just like painting yourself black and saying you're dressed."
"Yes!" Niki insisted, pouting, "The suits stay." There was REALLY no arguing with Niki after that.
(This line break is stealthy- like Cat Women. It is also covered in paint. It's not a very good line break because of that.)
Much to Niki's displeasure, the heist took place nearly a month later. Apparently Danni needed time to get used to her new skeleton, the gadgets needed tuning and whoever wasn't working needed to case out the joint. Oh, they also needed the guy's address. All the preparations took a month, so, a month later they were ready to move. Danni still wasn't up to her usual high-flighing abilities, but she could walk and even run by herself, along with some acrobatics. And Niki wouldn't wait any longer.
Ed's POV
I had just come back from Liore- that was a disaster. I wondered briefly about that girl who had told me I'd reach my goal. I had found myself thinking about her a lot lately- probably more than I should have been. I'd mentioned her to Al and he'd been very curious as well. I hated all the mystery but had to admit that I enjoyed the challenge of figuring out who she was. It had become my side project. I was storming down some random street after a debriefing with Colonel Bastard when I saw some shadowy figures running down a street. I decided- mostly out of boredom- to follow. Shadowy figures usually meant an adventure. Seemed worth it. I slipped through the alley after the indistinct figures. They led me to a large house- practically a mansion- and slipped over a wall. I settled down to wait.
Brann's POV
The house was big. That was an understatement. It was also very pastel. With a huge garden, spiked wall and ivy. It just SCREAMED 'rip me off now!' Who was I to deny it. Me and my sisters scrambled over the wall- graceful scrambling! and into the garden. Idly, I wondered if the plants in Amestris were like the ones back home or if these were poisonous. Then I decided that whatever the plants could do to me it couldn't be worse than what staring at the pink door was doing to my stomach. I stood by the door in the garden, guarding our escape rout. Cupping my hands, I threw first Niki, then Danni onto the window ledge above us. Danni took much more effort than usual and Niki had to pull her into the house because she almost missed, but then again- those metal bones added at LEAST 50 pounds. Maybe more. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw a flicker from the alley we had passed, but when I turned to look, there was no one there. As my sisters plundered the house above, I spent my time wondering what it might have been. More thieves? Stalkers? Portals to other dimensions? Was Truth spying on us? It was rather fun coming up with different scenarios, each crazier than the last. Elephant with a faulty cloaking device was hard to beat though- maybe I was part witch and had seen the tail end of a Dementor?
Nikki's POV
It will never fail to amaze me how easily Brann can toss us around, even after Danni's skeleton was replaced with freakishly heavy metal. That stuff is fucking DENSE! Stupid Truth... I turned around to case the joint and was faced with... frills. Pastel frills, bows and cutsey painting. It felt like Umbitch's fucking office. This asshole wasn't just a pervert, he was a shitty Lolita! Moronic bastard, making poor, mildly innocent (ok, not really- but still!) girls play out his fantasies! It made me ill.
"Wow." Danni whispered from behind me, "either this guy has a VERY spoilt seven year old or he's a bigger perv. than we thought."
"I'm going with the second option" I whispered back. The safe was easy to find and easier to crack. There was a good haul, lots of cash! Me and Danni took about half. Didn't want our heist to interfere with my salary! But then, well... I couldn't help but leave a little present. (insert mad snickering)/c
Brann's POV
Danni and Niki dropped nearly silently to the ground. I say nearly because Danni was still unaccustomed to her new weight and made a tiny, nearly unnoticeable thud. Still, pretty good. From the size of the stereotypical sack slung over Danni's shoulder, I'd say we made a good haul. Actually- she looked kinda like Santa. If Santa was fit, shorter, female and dressed in black leather and a mask.
"Ho ho ho." I muttered, "Next time we'll use the chimney."
"No fucking way" Niki snapped, "we are NOT getting soot all over the outfits I worked so hard on."
"I second that!" Danni grunted, "Soot is ridiculously floofy when something land on it AND it leaves tracks." I just rolled my eyes. Danni was a grumpy Santa. Actually- I think that was a book... I wondered if Danni had been bitten by a Chihuahua... or had to wear an itchy suit. Maybe the leather was chafing? We sprinted back the way we had come, before Niki pulled us over.
"Wait!" she turned back to the mansion and pulled out a remote thing, pushing the button. Behind us, the mansion went up in a giant fireball. It was beautiful. "The owner will wake up tomorrow in a pond." Niki smirked. I could have kissed her if that wouldn't have felt like incest.
"That abomination did not deserve to exist." Danni agreed, as we watched the pastel colors burn. It was WAY more satisfying than it should have been.
Ed's POV
I almost missed when the shadows came back out. One of them had a large sack over her shoulder- thieves? That was when the house exploded. I yelped and followed them. They'd blown up a house! Even if it was hideous...
"Oi! Bastards! Stop!" I called. To my surprise they actually listened, first time that ever worked. I got a better look at them and could feel myself turning bright red. They were female... in black- skintight -leather outfits. OH MY GOD. I just kinda stared for a moment. I think my jaw had dropped. They all looked at each other, and then there was a lot of movement, a whooshing sensation and then I was upside down. Tied up. AND they had stolen my shirt. DAMN them.
Later, after I managed to get down, I saw they had also doodled on me. A smily face with it's tongue sticking out and the message:
Horny teen, don't get distracted. XOXO, the Sirens.