Author's Note: YES! Another update! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I tried to alchemize myself the rights for FMA, but apparently it broke the rule of equivalent exchange.

Siren's Call: Chapter 10

Big Boom

Niki's POV

YES! Envy was here! Where I worked! At my mercy! I felt a cruel smirk spread over my face when my back was to him, anticipating all the ways I could fuck with his head. What, invisible audience? You thought I was going to make this easy for him? Who the hell do you think I am?

"This way, and I'll get you a seat" I hummed sweetly to him- couldn't give away the game yet. He trailed after me, puppy like. He even growled at some of the guys who whistled at me! That was so sweet! I ignored the warm fuzzy feeling it gave me though, I needed to concentrate on my master-plan-that-I-had-just-come-up-with-to-terrorize-Envy-and-that-needed-a-shorter-name. Whew. That really does need a shorter name! And I could use this to strike back against my pervert boss... Heh. No- do not succumb to the maniacal laughter! If I start people will know something is up plus i won't be able to stop so it will trail on awkwardly! That's the real reason villains are always cackling- once you get on a roll, it won't turn fucking off. The stuff is addicting too! Oh yeah- the plan. I sat Envy down at a table with Lust and gave him a smile before going off to take more orders. I had been avoiding this one table with all these perverts at it- they kept staring at me! Bastards. No sense of self-control! They weren't even cute! I made sure Envy saw the reluctant and uncomfortable smile I pasted onto my face, and saw him perk up and survey the guys with murder in his eyes. Awww, so cute! I fought down a smile, making sure the expression on my face didn't waver. I wanted to make him jealous and enjoy the bloodbath!

"Um, may I take your orders?" I asked hesitantly (all for show of course! What I really wanted to do was gouge these fuckers perverted eyeballs out and play ping pong with them!) they leered at me grotesquely.

"Your number" one guy flirted. Now I didn't even have to fake the uncomfortableness- this dude was every warning label a guy could have rolled into one! Sweating hands, hungry eyes, cloths that were trying to hard to be fashionable and falling way short- and from his henchmen's jeering responses, a reputation to keep.

"Sorry sir" I grimaced out at him, "I only serve what is on the menu. And I'm really not interested."

"How about your sign then babe?" another tried.

"Its stop." I told him before turning back to the leader who was scowling at me, his face turning an angry shade of puce. I got a bit nervous then- maybe this wasn't the best plan. Sure, I could take him easy, AND I had Envy to back me up, but what if I got fired for it?

"Look bitch," he started in on me, "Here you are tramping around in your little fluffy outfit like a whore and when I ask for your digits you chill me out? I'm cool enough for ten pusseys like you, so if I say spread your legs, you spread them!" I froze. He DID NOT just say what I thought he said. He did not. No one could be that moronic. NO ONE. I had found our next target. And a personal punching bag that I would be sharing with my sisters. This fucking dead-end sexist bastard would wake up one morning to find certain and sensitive parts of his anatomy castrated and then lit on fire. I would POLE AXE this fucker. I would sick BRANN on him- this was the kind of moronic waste of genetics that she hated the MOST. I would- oh look, Envy's coming over! Never mind. I'm gonna enjoy the show and plan revenge later. Maybe I can turn it into a date with him!

Envy's POV

That bastard was chatting up Niki! MY Niki! And she was clearly turning him down, no mere HUMAN could be good enough for my dastardly angel! He wasn't even an impressive for a human like the sacrifices! Just some moronic fucker who I would soon be using to redecorate this place in red! I always though this cafe needed a bit more gore, and it was only fitting that the place me and Niki met be covered in bloodstains. The tail end of their conversation reached me and I felt myself go cold. He had called my angel of death WHAT? All encompassing rage blotted out my vision, consuming me entirely it drove me forward, roaring in my ears and filling my muscles so that my hands shook and my whole body trembled. He was going to die now. Slowly and painfully, but with no creativity. He didn't deserve the brain power it would take to think up a way to kill him. Worth ten of Niki? My ass! He wasn't worthy to lick the dust that stirred in her wake, let alone her shoes! He wasn't worthy to even suffer by her dainty hand, and that took almost NO qualifications! Looks like he'd just have to suffer by mine...

"WHAT did you just call my GIRLFRIEND?" I roared at him. Ok, so I hadn't solidified our relationship yet, but so what. No way in hell, heaven, purgatory, Truth or any other power or existence was I going to let go of a ruby like Niki! If she had issues with it, i'd just have to woo her properly with lots of explosive dates and the dismembered heads of jackasses who annoyed her. I could see that working. Chocolate too- Lust once told me chocolate fixes everything, and I believe her. Combining above ideas might be hard though... oh well. The bug was saying something. I ignored him and tossed him out a window into the street amid a shower of glass.

"Lust." I was in the midst of a cold rage now. "Drag that mother fucker back to base where I can deal with him properly." The last word rolled out in hiss of morbid promise. Lust shrugged, but went out after him with rage in her eyes. She hates guys like that, oddly enough. She's a huge closet romantic, and people like him just mess romance up. Her love for love probably comes from embodying Love's twisted, malformed cousin, if i had to guess. Makes her envious, and if there's one thing I understand- it's envy. I looked to Niki and saw the blood thirsty fire burning in her eyes.

"You want to head out on that blow-shit-up date now?" she asked, "I need an outlet." I grinned in response and we left to go wreak havoc.

Danni's POV

You know, I've had the strangest feeling of being ignored recently. Its not my siblings, it wasn't the people at the clothing store- I just felt ignored! And like it was coming from over some kind of barrier... a wall maybe? But why would people or creatures behind a wall ignore me? Ah well. I shook the thought from my head. Work at the clothing store was mind numbingly boring. Teenage girls with no maturity would come in and gripe and moan about school and boys while cooing over how they looked in the mirror. Can I say fashion sense people? To borrow an expression from the amazing Kurt Hummel- Gaga! These girls were hopeless! The were just dunking themselves in bright floofy clothes that made them look like neon pompoms! Every time I saw them come in with far to much make up and poor dress choices, I felt my blood pressure rocket. I was going to get a heart attack soon. I knew it. And when I did, I was going to be by those fashion less girls so that heart matter explodes all over them and covers up those monstrosities of fabric that they call CUTE. Good God, Umbitch had better taste than them! And she dressed in pink! I was sketching in my booklet again, clothing ideas that I would like to shove onto these people so that they stopped scalding my retinas. Fashion was something I dabbled in and enjoyed.

"Danni?" I jumped and spun to face the assistant manager- the only person our jackass of a boss would listen to. Good thing he's a decent guy. I relaxed a bit.

"Oh, hey Joe." Joe really was an average Joe in every sense of the word. He was bland and boing, if good natured. I could stand him in small doses as long as he kept away from small talk.

"Nice weather we're having, eh?" Oh FUCK. The weather? Really? I settled for a smile, hoping he would go away. "So, what you doing?" Foiled again! I have been thwarted by the fickle nature of the human soul and of the tenacity of boredom! Save me, oh insanity! I invoke you! Nothing happened. Damn, I must have used up my prayers for spontaneous events occurring randomly to destroy all semblance of order. Insanity wasn't gonna answer today.

"Just sketches" I told him, showing him.

"Hey, these are really good!" Well dur. What, did he think I had no talent? He grabbed the book and flipped through it, catching me by surprise. I hadn't thought he had the back bone for that. Maybe Insanity had answered, but used one of her small rubber duck minions to carry the randomness instead of a big one. the small ones could carry less so the effects weren't as obvious or immediate. "I'll show these to the boss! We should carry some of these!" he shouted and ran off, leaving me staring in shock as if a rabid bunny with a chain saw had run me over without recognizing me as one of its pyro-kinetic brethren. What the hell? Clearly this was the work of a medium duck. Definitely medium.

Author's Note: I'm sorry for anyone who felt offended or uncomfortable at some of the characters or discussions in this- I was a bit uncomfortable writing some of it! Any and all outrageous characters are purely for humor or someone to rage on. I do not think all teenage girls act like air heads, I do not think all guys are jackasses and I do not think all Joe's are boring. This chap is 6 pages long and 1,769 words. Working on making them longer. Thank you and goodnight!