Tony's hands were shaking. He had them clasped together on the cheery wood table in front of him. He was In the middle of a very important Merge with one of the most prestigious Hospitals in New York. It was an idea he had for a while but wasn't sure how to go about it, how it won't be abused. But that wasn't why he was shaking. No, the merge was going smoothly, better then expected. It was the whiskey and Liquor they had in the room beautifully displayed in the middle of the large table. A few of the doctors that were meeting with him had tumbler glasses with the amber liquid, sipping carefully.
It had been a full two months without anything as much as a drop on his tongue and he could feel it. He was always shaking, his sleeping habits were worse then normal, he didn't even tell Kim of the not-so-minior hallucinations. He was just lucky he was by himself when they happened. He didn't want to cause her anymore stress then she had. So he put on his thousand watt smile and kept his hands in his pockets and hid as much as he could.. Not to mention the headaches, which he told her was just from lack of sleep and he would be fine. But damn they were so sharp. He didn't even want to think about the paranoia and anxiety that the withdrawal is bringing. That was the both hardest and easiest to hide. He always had to deal with Anxiety so he knew how to deal. It was harder to deal with the paranoia.
"Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark... did you hear me?" Tony looked up form the the alcohol display. He hadn't realized he was staring. He took a napkin, whipping the sweat that was forming on his head. "I'm sorry, I zoned out a minute. Up late with the little one. Dosnt like to sleep." He put on a smile and hoped his little fib worked. The doctor smiled, nodding. "Ahh family comes first. I think all of this is in great order and I would be honored to premiere your technology in my hospital. I just need you sign here and we'll be in business." He pushed a paper to Tony. Tony smiled. "Great." He took the pen but his hand was shaking so much the pen fell out and onto the floor. He felt the anxiety creep up along with paranoia. He was doing a good job right? He was putting on a good enough show for them? Oh no, the floor suddenly appeared 500 feet below him. Hallucinations. No. Not here.
Kim was reading in the living room, her hand on her stomach, rubbing gently, just barely showing her baby bump. Quinn was in the lab and she only assumed Gage was in there as well. Those two were joined at the hip. Kim smiled at the thought before jumping, her phone ringing. It was a number she didn't recognize. "Hello?" "Is this ?" She sat up more. "Yes, this is she." "Hello, I'm Nurse Carol and Your Husband, Anthony stark-" "Tony. What happened?" She swallowed down the worry. Listening to the nurse continue. "Well seems during his meeting he fainted. It actually took a bit to wake him up but when we did he kept saying that he "couldn't be back in that cave.." we are not sure what happened and were having a hard time getting him to talk. If you could come down here and get him to that would be amazing." Kim nodded. "Of corse. I'll be there soon as I can." She hung up, wiping a tear away. She had a feeling he was hiding a lot more from this withdrawal then he let on. She got up, going to the lab quickly.
She was right. Quinn was busy working and talking to Gage, rambling. And Gage listening to every word even thou he didn't understand it. She put the numbers into the lab walking in. Gage saw her, frowning softly when he saw her worried face, standing. " , what is it?" Quinn looked up, frowning, sensing her worry and fear. "Is daddy ok?" Kim shook her head, going to Quinn, reaching to pick her up. "No sweetie, he's sick. The hospital called me, I can't explain but we need to-" Gage held his hands up to silence her. "Of corse. Com'on, I'll drive." Kim nodded, holding Quinn close as she walked, following Gage to the garage.
Gage took Quinn once they parked. He spoke to Kim. "You go ahead, Tony needs you." Kim nodded before nearly running inside, stopping at the ER counter. "I'm , I'm here to see Tony." The Nurse looked up, she was plump and didn't look happy. Her name tag said "Goodall" " Do you have ID on you?" Kim got her ID out, handing it to the Nurse. The nurses gave her a look before handing it back. "I'm sorry but this doesn't say your married to him or related. Do you have any form of ID that does?" Kim felt her eyes water. "No, were not officially married yet but please he needs me, he could be in the middle of severe panic attack." "I'm sorry but unless you have ID saying so I can't let you back-" " ?" Kim looked up at another nurse, wiping a tear away. "Yes?" The nurse, who was younger, dark blonde hair pulled back. "I got it here Missy." The plump nurse looked up then walk away. Kim saw her tag, "Carol." The nurse smiled weakly. "I'm Nurse Carol, we spoke on the phone. Here, I'll take you to him." Kim felt relief flood over her as she followed the doctor. "Oh thank you. Please, tell me, how is he doing?" The nurse sighed. "I'm sorry but we had to sedate him. He kept going on about being in a cave and kept trying to fight off the doctors." Kim brought a hand to her mouth. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, we can pay for any damages or injures." Carol chuckled. "It's fine, really. It's normal here. Trust me, we've gotten worse. Well here you are. 309. I should be a few minutes before he wakes up. I'm sorry we had to cuff him to the bed for everyone's safety." She stated before opening the door.
Kim walked in, going to sit next to him. He looked like he was sleeping aside from the heart monitor on his finger tip and the cuffs holding his wrists down to the bed. She felt her eyes water, holding his restrained hand. She wasn't sure how long she was in the room for before she started to feel him tense, eyes fluttering open before turning to fear. "No..no I can't be here.. I'm not.." She spoke softly, keeping her voice clear of the tears that were in her eyes. "Tony, it's ok...your safe." She could tell he wasn't present but in the cave, his eyes looking around franticly as he tried to escape his binds. His eyes watering over. "Angel.. no.. you can't be here.." She sniffled, petting his hair. "I'm with you Tony, were safe. Were both safe. Please, listen to my voice, come out of the dark.." She bit her lip to keep from breaking down into tears.
He swallowed thickly, still staring up a white ceiling. "I hear you.." It seemed moment later that his breathing returned to normal and eyes cleared, looking around. "uh-what?" Kim sat up more. "Tony?" He looked over, attempting to reach his hand up to whip a tear away before discovering his hand couldn't go more then an inch. He looked up at her, scared. "Angel, why am I cuffed to the bed?" Her lip trembled. "I think you have been hiding again and I need you to come out." Tony felt his eyes water, looking away, trembling the Merge, his sweating and shaking hands and the hallucinations. He didn't remember much after that. "They...they had Alcohol there. It was displayed, beautifully on the table. I couldn't stop staring at it." He bit his lip. She listened to every word because when Tony Stark chooses to stop hiding and come out form the dark, it's bad. "I'm sorry..angel..I am. I'm sorry I haven't been honest with you, I'm sorry I haven't let you help me thru this." He held her hand tighter, a tear falling down the side of his face.
She swallowed, whipping it away. "Please, tell me what you've been hiding. We'll get you help." He looked away, feeling ashamed and weak. "I've been shaking, like crazy. All I do is have my hands in my pockets or tinker with something in the lab to keep them useful. I haven't had a good nights sleep in months. I've been awake or in the lab. This week alone I've only gotten 6 hours. The fevers and the sweating are just awful but I can tolerate those but it's the damn hallucinations. I can't do those. I can't tell them from whats real and whats not. " She looked surprised. "Hallucinations? Tony, why didn't you tell me?" His voice broke. "I didn't want you to worry anymore then you do. I mean we got another on the way, we have to get ready for that then you have to deal with me. I didn't want you to have to deal with this hot mess if you didnt have to." Kim smiled sadly, holding both hands to his face, whipping tears away. "I will always deal with this hot mess. I love you and were gonna get you the help you need." She reached across the wall, pressing the call nurse button. He looked at her, almost fearfully. "Angel..?" She smiled sadly. "Your gonna tell the doctor all that you told me and there going to help you." Tony swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew there was no more hiding.
It was only hours later that he was able to go home. With quite a few prescriptions to pick up. An anti-Psychotic for the hallucinations, an Anti-Anxiety for the panic attacks and paranoia and and blood pressure medication to keep it steady. He also found out the the Merge was postponed until he reached better health. They were very understanding. They walked in the house, Tony held Kim's hands close as the lead her inside. Gage was carrying Quinn behind them who had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Kim led Tony up the stairs. "com'on hot mess. You need some rest." He smiled weakly at her, following her up. He looked back, seeing Quinn sleep so peacefully on his shoulder. He wondered if he should tell her about this. He didn't want to burden her anymore then she was with her nightmares but the doctor said the first and most important step is admitting it to yourself and your loved ones, children included. He said it was good for them as well, that way there not out of the loop and unknowing of whats was going on.
He put the thought away in the back of his mind until later, deciding to tell Quinn, Gage and Kim at once. Kim lead him to there bed, helping him undress from his suit he was wearing at the meeting. He smirked weakly. "Undressing already? And here I thought you wanted me to rest." She smiled weakly, unbuttoning his shirt. "As much as I would love to...your in no shape for it right now. Your Going to rest and let the medications do there job. JARVIS will remind you every day when to take them. Won't you JARVIS?" "Of corse mam." He smiled weakly, leaning his head on hers. "What would I do without you?" She sighed, running her hand up his now exposed chest, his crisp white shirt unbuttoned. Her hand resting on the reactor. "I don't want to know.." He spoke softly. "Me neither. Lets lay down." She nodded, helping him lay down, taking his dress shoes off before helping take his dress pants off. Now in only his boxers he held his arms out to her. She happily snuggled into his arms. His hand resting over her tiny baby bump. He kissed her head. "I promise, I will be a better father and a better husband." She smiled sadly, holding her hand over his on her bump. "You're already a great father and husband." "I'll be better. For this. " He gently squeezed her belly. "I will be better for this. I promise, by the time our second is born I'l be clean and sober." She felt her eyes water, bringing his hand up to her mouth to kiss. He hid his face in her neck, hiding the tears. He vowed to get past this be sober and clean. For his family. For his unborn child.
It was later in the evening, after dinner that Tony called everyone to sit in the living room. He saw Gage sitting with Quinn on his lap. Kim sitting close to Tony, at arms reach so he can hold her hand if need be. Quinn looked curiously at him. "Daddy? Whats wrong?" He smiled sadly to her. "Alot of things princess." he had his hands in his pockets, forming the words in his head before they left his mouth. "You all obliviously know who I am. You all know what I do. What I did. In last year or so my drinking got heavier and heavier and I started realizing I'm missing out on some amazing moments." Quinn spoke up. "Whats wrong with drinking? Shouldn't you drink water and stuff?" He smiled sadly, walking toward her. "com're princess." Gage let her down gently, watching as she walked to her father. Tony held her, picking her up, holding her on his hip. "You know how there's your drinks and adult drinks?" She nodded. "Uh-huh, you and mommy warned me to not drink from an open glass because it might be an adult drink."
"that's right. In the drink is something called Alcohol and how it works is if you drink too much of it, your body can't filter it fast enough to it makes you woozy and dizzy and if you have too much it can kill you." She pouted. "Why would people drink it then?" "Because it's ok if you drink it responsibly but there's a lot out there who don't. They over drink and then sometimes they start doing it more and more and then they realize that they can't stop." "Why not?" "Your body depends to it. After drinking it so long your body needs it then it makes it harder to stop." She nodded, understanding, speaking quietly. "So your one of the people that cant stop." He smiled sadly. "Yes princess. I am." He sighed, looking to Kim and Gage and Quinn. "I'm An alcoholic and I've been one for a long, long time. But It's stopping. Cause now I have something to live for and be here for every day." He looked between Quinn and Kim. Quinn smiled, hugging him. "I love you daddy. You'll be ok." He smiled, feeling his eyes water, hugging her close. "I love you to princess." He saw Gage get up, putting Quinn down, putting his hands in his pockets. Gage spoke first. "Thank you for including me in this. Your a very brave man for admitting all this to us. " Tony smiled, wiping his eyes. "You know this means your family now." Gage smiled to himself. "Family?" Tony nodded. "Yeah." He held out his hand. Gage accepted but was pulled into a hug from Tony. "Welcome to the family Gage Smith." Gage smiled, hugging back then stepping away, hiding his watering eyes. "thank you. I'm honored." Quinn looked up at Gage. "can we go back to the lab now?" Tony chuckled., nodding. Gage smiled. "Of corse princess, com'on." He picked her up, lifting her over her head as if she was flying. She made whooshing noises as they left the living room. Kim got up, going to Tony , hugging him close. "I am so proud of you." Tony smiled, feeling his eyes water again. He couldn't believe how blessed he was with this family he created.
AN: Ok so I got teary eyes writing this. Oh the Tony feels ;-; please review!