Warning: Sexual content, language

Chapter 2 – Damn You, Stabler

Elliot had offered to drive her home again that night, but Olivia, though she wasn't angry with him, refused. She wanted to get some air and clear her head; she had let her guard down, and though it didn't feel as big a wrong turn as it should have, she still couldn't believe it had happened.

She couldn't repress the memory to the back of her mind, nor could she help but think that he was tailing her at the very moment. She didn't see or hear any cars nearby, but that didn't mean he wasn't somewhere close. She wouldn't put it past him, and she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him on this topic. He'd want to make sure she got home safe, especially since it was a long, long walk home.

The feeling of Elliot's lips on hers…it was going to drive her mad. For twelve years she had wondered what it felt like, when she allowed her mind to get that far at least. And tonight it had happened. Did she regret it?

No, she didn't think so…would it set in tomorrow?

Damn you, Stabler, she thought again for probably the hundredth time that night. They weren't even arguing and she was cursing him out. Maybe that's—actually no, that's exactly who they were, and she knew it.

XxxxX

Elliot knew the route Olivia usually took home when she walked; he was guilty of stalking her, but at a safe distance. And it technically wasn't stalking her, he was just making sure she got home safely. If he could protect her and keep her from harm's way, especially in the city with her status known by many, then he was doing his job as her partner.

Granted, she'd probably never trust him again for not putting his trust in her but he didn't see it that way. He trusted her a hell of a lot more than she knew, and more then he cared to admit to her right now. He just couldn't bear the thought of losing her if he were able to prevent it. She would thank him at some point; he'd wait a million years if he had too just to hear her say it.

He still had the feeling of her lips on his; she was a minx, and he was screwed. He had been harboring quite a reaction from her, and he tried his best not to let her know that. He knew, the moment her stance changed, that she was gonna try and be the game changer. However, Elliot Stabler was not about to let his partner beat him, no matter how much she had him wrapped around her finger. He wanted to keep some dignity now that he'd kissed her.

He had parked his car just a few blocks ahead, waiting for her to appear around the corner; he was anxious to make sure she would, and when he finally saw her he visibly relaxed in the seat. He kept himself low, out of the street light so she could pass without spotting him. She had her eyes to the ground, her hands in her pockets, and she looked like she was in no rush to make it home before three.

Elliot rolled his eyes, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. This wasn't just a walk home, this was one of her famous fresh-air/time-to-think walks. He wouldn't pin the whole kiss on her, though she tempted him...

Horribly.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and she played the part well. It took everything in him not to take her right there; twelve years of strict partnership and here he was like a goddamn teenager with a massive crush. How cliché could things get?

Though it didn't bother him in the least; if they could make something from the ashes, something that wasn't exactly frowned upon, he was all for it. Quitting their jobs, for something they felt seemed insane but at the same time their only option. He knew Olivia wouldn't go along with it though. Hell, he didn't even know if she actually liked him as much as he admired her. He would spill his affection for her in fifty different languages if it made it easier to say them to her. Except she was quite skilled in languages and would probably, easily, and without a doubt, pick up on what he was saying like it was nothing.

And he was trying not to freak her out.

He didn't want to drive her away and ruin everything either. So this entire situation left him torn between what he wanted to do and what he should do. There didn't seem to be any good chances at the moment; they were all shots in the dark.

The wind had picked up slightly, a cool breeze blowing in through his open car window; it felt good, almost refreshing. He continued to watch Olivia walk; she had passed the car only moments ago and yet was found himself as tuck because she'd spot his car if he drove it now to keep up with her.

However, the wind wasn't the only think that picked up. Rain started to drizzle down just as she turned the corner and he sighed, thanking God he now had a good enough excuse to get her in his car.

He turned the car engine on and the lights shone out a few good feet ahead of him; he put the car in drive and went forward, turning the corner she had. She looked back at the sound of it; he didn't miss the roll of her eyes as she immediately picked up on who it was, "need a ride?"

"How did I know you'd be following me?" Olivia asked, brushing her hair back behind her ears, "You're predictable, El."

"You'd rather walk in the rain?" He asked, leaning over the arm rest to glance at her out the open window; she let out an exasperated sigh and opened the door, sliding into the passenger's seat.

"It's just a drizzle," she said, looking out the window as he drove off.

"Liv, you'd be soaked by the time you got home," he started; he offered her his dry jacket from the backseat but she softly declined.

"Do you always stalk me?"

"I prefer to call it watch over, and only nights that you don't let me drive you home."

"So basically, the last few months."

"That information is confidential," Elliot replied after a moment of consideration. Olivia laughed, shaking her head at his lack of response, "And that's beside the point."

"What's the point?"

"I just want to make sure you're safe, Liv." He said slowly, "I don't feel like going through new partners. I prefer the one twelve-years strong."

Olivia smiled to herself and nodded, "Me too."

XxxxX

"Elliot, Olivia, you're coming with me. We just got a call from CSI, they believe the victim they found was sexually abused. The ME's already headed down there, she's gonna give us a statement when we get there." Cragen sent out a call to Munch and Fin, telling them to meet them at the scene.

They arrived about twenty minutes after the ME; she was almost finished examining the body as they crossed the police tape, "What's the verdict, doc?" Elliot asked.

Melinda stood up, closing the file she was previously writing in, "Vaginal tearing, and scars from earlier abuse. I'd say this time, he used something sharp."

"He sodomized her," Olivia said uncomfortably. Elliot glanced down at the body; it was covered by a thick, blue blanket, being shielded from the public eye, "What kind of object do you think it is?"

"I'll let you know once I run the tests. I found some fragments inside of her. But if I had to guess, I'd say he used something wooden."

"CSU will take over from here," Cragen said, "We may need to rush those results."

"I'll go as fast as I can. The results will be brought to you as soon as I'm done." Melinda promised; she walked away after Cragen nodded in confirmation.

XxxxX

It was around ten forty-five when the squad returned to the precinct; they had spent most of the day searching for leads, only finding dead ends. It was a stressful day to say the least.

Olivia slumped down in her desk chair, resting her pounding head in her hands. Her gaze fell to the floor as she dug her fingers into her scalp to try and alleviate the pain. Elliot went to the coffee maker and made cups for the four of them; it looked like it was going to be, yet again, another late night.

"We know that this killer has struck before. Back in 1989, a woman about 22 years old was found with the same cable-wire ligature marks on her neck, wrists, and ankles…"

"The ME also mentioned our latest victim was sodomized," Munch said, sitting down on the edge of Olivia's desk as he looked over the files once more, "…with a homemade bludgeon. Looks like he made it especially for her."

"What about the first victim?"

"She was sodomized with the same kind of weapon." Olivia read, "Our perp has a fetish for watching women—," she stopped and distracted herself by rereading the medical examination. She knew there was no need to finish that sentence.

"Where should we start looking first?" Fin asked.

"From the beginning."

XxxxX

"I'm gonna head home," Fin said, standing up from his desk. He rubbed his eyes for a brief moment before grabbing his coat off the back of his chair, "it's almost three-thirty. See you in a few hours."

"Goodnight," Olivia said, her voice syncing with Elliot's as they both spoke at the same time; she gave him an amused glance before cutting her eyes back down at the papers before her. Fin had already made it to the elevators, missing their unspoken communication.

Munch had left a few hours ago, his coffee wasn't keeping him awake like he had hoped and he wanted to make it home before he passed out entirely. Fin had made a joke about checking up on him to make sure he didn't fall asleep and crash into a tree.

Olivia felt his eyes on her then; she could sense his gaze and looked up to meet his blue, smoldering eyes. He was shameless, "You don't have to stay here with me, you know. You're free to go home whenever…"

"To my lonely apartment, no thank you," Elliot sighed, leaning back in his chair. His eyes never left her face and she felt her skin getting hotter, "Besides, I'm not going to leave you to do all of the work. Suppose you make a break through, then you'll get all the credit and I don't think I can let that happen," he teased; Olivia scoffed a laugh, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh please, I'd call you and tell you about it. You'd be the one telling Cragen it was all me." She said knowingly. Elliot smirked, shaking his head.

"With this case, no I wouldn't," she rolled her eyes and he put his pen down, "I'd want credit for this pain in the ass."

"Damn," she joked; she stood up from her desk and stretched her back out. She watched Elliot swallow and it almost threw her back into her seat. She managed to sit down slowly and looked at him with a serious expression, "…can we…talk?"

"Of course," Elliot replied, growing serious himself, "what about?"

"What happened last night." She said slowly. The corners of his lips tugged upward slightly and he nodded.

"You can say we kissed, Liv. It's not a dirty word," though his light demeanor was soothing, she still felt on edge.

"Right…" she bit her lip, scratching her eyebrow like she usually did when she was confused, "…I just wanted to know why?"

"Why what? Why we kissed?"

"Well, why it happened," she explained, feeling absolutely foolish that she couldn't get those words out and he could. She watched as he thought carefully about it for a moment.

"I wanted too," Elliot said quietly, "Liv…I'm not gonna lie to you."

"Was it…genuine?" She asked. He laughed, shaking his head.

"What kind of question is that? What answer are you expecting from something like that? Of course it was, Liv. People kiss because of something that's there, I don't know about you but I like to think chivalry still exists."

"I think my luck with chivalry died a long time ago, El." Olivia replied, looking down at her desk as she spoke. She definitely felt foolish now. He was so calm and she was the damn Energizer Bunny.

"Oh come on, you even said so yourself, I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man. That's got to count for something." Elliot said. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, her eyes were filled with questions in that moment.

"What are you saying?" He shifted in his seat, considering his answers. He didn't want to lie to her, but being completely honest was not his forte.

"…I care about you, Olivia…" he started, leaning forward across his desk as though there were people around who would hear him if he spoke any louder.

"Well yeah. I knew that," she said, "We're partners…"

"You're gonna make me say it," he sighed, "from what I've figured out since my divorce, Liv, is that I care about you as a little more than partners." She was genuinely shocked; she suspected, but to hear her suspicions come true was a whole other ball park. "Please don't run because I said that. I'm not going to do anything that'll jeopardize our partnership." She nodded and looked down again, biting her lip like before. Her mind was racing, trying to sort through the newfound information. Elliot picked his pen back up and returned to the files.

She didn't know what to truly say, but the words were out before she could stop herself, "…I know it'd be wrong, but maybe we could benefit from it."

"Come again?" He asked, looking up without moving his head. She sucked in a deep breath and braved herself to repeat herself.

"I don't know, maybe we could benefit from something more."

"Cragen would have to split us up, Liv…" she cut him off mid-sentence.

"Well not a real relationship…I don't think…" she tried to fix her words before continuing, "…we could have something more without starting a relationship and letting it affect our work."

"Are you proposing a friends with benefits relationship?" He asked, wondering if this was reality he was in. Maybe he had fallen asleep at his desk and just dreamed all of this. Except he was pretty damn sure he was wide awake and she just said they could have a sexual relationship, "if I remember correctly, you slept with Cassidy about a decade ago and called yourself out for making a mistake. I don't want this to turn into a regret, Liv."

"Would you see it as a regret?" She questioned. Elliot shook his head, laughing slightly.

"I'm a man, no trip to a heavenly body is a regret." He explained, "however, if something were to ruin our friendship, I don't think I'd have any choice but to regret it."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same a few minutes ago…" Olivia smirked, "…except, since we're being honest, I haven't exactly had a steady relationship to take care of my needs." He watched the color flood into her face as he said it and he couldn't help what it did to him. He almost groaned but bit it back.

"…So you're being 100% honest here?"

"Yes?"

"If you're asking it as a question I'm going to have to shut this entire idea down." He wanted her to be sure, and though this wasn't easy for him either, he absolutely wanted her.

"I mean, yes." She said, trying to keep her heart from bursting out of her chest; any faster and she would be amazed if he didn't hear it hammering against her ribcage.

"And you want this when?"

"Now?" Another uncertain answer. He gave her a skeptical look and she rolled her eyes, "Fine, now."

"Liv, I need to know if you're being honest or not. If you're nervous, I get that, but I don't want any mixed signals if we're going to try and make this work."

"Sorry," she replied, "…now." He nodded and stood up from his desk; he turned away from her and headed out to the interrogation rooms. Olivia was confused by this and waited a few moments before following him down the hall. "Where are you going?"

"Well, the beds in the bunk room are not big enough for us both, and I don't think Cragen needs video evidence from the middle of the precinct. The next best thing is the only rooms without cameras." He answered, "But I want to get a few things straight first, okay?" She nodded, "I'm not going to treat you like this is a one night stand. I care about you, I'm going to treat you as though we were in a real relationship." She nodded again in response and he slowly advanced towards her, backing her up against the wall, "Starting off…with you letting me kiss you again."

She closed her eyes and waited for him to capture her lips; she expected a hungry kiss, but it was a soft, sweet and passionate one. It made her knees weak instantly and he placed his hands on her waist to hold her up. She felt the tip of his tongue trace her bottom lip, begging for her acceptance; she granted it to him and he shamelessly explored her mouth like it was the last drop of water he was ever going to get. She whimpered into his mouth and he responded with a groan, vibrating against her lips.

He slipped his fingers underneath the fabric of her shirt and slowly, teasingly, ran his fingers up her curvy sides. Her body reacted, breaking out in tingles; it sent her chest jutting forward, colliding with his strong, firm frame. He smiled against her lips and removed one hand to brush her hair back behind her ear. He wanted to do right by her, and if they were going to do this, he was going to do it in a way he knew would keep her from regretting it later. He wanted to show her that this wasn't just something he was going to do once and forget. He wanted her to see that he cared about her, and the only way he would allow them to go through with this was if he could take his time and appreciate her.

While his lips made love to hers, he tugged at the bottom of her shirt, indirectly asking to remove the fabric from her body. She reached down and placed her fingers over his, pulling it up over her head, leaving her chest exposed. Their lips broke apart for a brief second, but the moment her shirt hit the floor, he recaptured them in a quick second; her silky, lavender bra was the only piece of fabric covering her torso.

His lips moved to the corner of hers as he left traces of little pecks; she automatically smiled and he lowered his head to her neck. Her hands flew up and her fingers found their home in the short hair on the back of his head, "Elliot…" she moaned, almost whimpering again as his lips found a sensitive spot. He began unbuttoning his shirt and she helped him with his tie, loosening it and throwing it down with her shirt. She pushed the fabric off the backs of his shoulders and placed a small kiss against the scar from when he'd been shot by Bushido.

Elliot grabbed her by her hips and hoisted her up against the wall; her legs immediately wrapping around his waist to stay in place. She could feel him through the fabric of her jeans, and she was impatient for him. She tried not to think of how wrong all of this was, because goddammit she wanted this and it has been a really long time since another man touched her. It was wrong, but it felt so right.

He placed his hands up along her back for support and rested her against the wall again. He undid the clasp of her bra, allowing her to slip her arms out.

Like the others, it was forgotten on the floor.

There was nothing blocking their chest now, and Elliot leaned forward to press light kisses in between her breasts. She moaned at the sensation, arching her back as he cupped her in his hands. She felt incredible, and he mentally kicked himself because his imagination was nowhere near the real thing. Not even the greatest stretch of the imagination could ever prepare him for the amazing, fire-burning feeling that Olivia Benson gave off in his hands.

He was amazed the front of his jeans hadn't busted open already. He was in a lot of pain, restricting himself, but it would all be worth it pretty soon.

She shifted her hips against his, biting back another moan at the feeling. Elliot, however, couldn't keep back the growl that escaped his throat. He pressed his lips to her neck again and bit down lightly, holding back another growl. The pain and pleasure mixed antagonized her, she let out a whimper against his ear and his hands flew to the button on the front of her pants. He ripped it out of the clasp and set her back on her feet; he bent down as he pulled her pants down her smooth, creamy legs.

God how he'd daydreamed about her heavenly body. The devil himself had created her to taunt him, and fuck she had fulfilled this purpose with an A plus. She placed her hands on his shoulders as she stepped out of them, and he let his gaze linger on the matching panties. It was almost like she had this planned…

He stood up and wrapped an arm around her waist, turning her so her back was to his chest, "You're going to be the fucking death of me, Liv," he whispered in a husky voice; his breath tickled her ear and she smirked. He pressed more kissed on the back of her ear, down the side of her jaw, and against her shoulder, enjoying the way she moaned.

He placed his leg between hers in an attempt to spread them apart a little more. She braced the wall and he rested his knee against it below her. She was already panting, trying to form a coherent thought.

Slowly, he allowed the hand that wasn't holding her up to graze down her stomach; the teasing was causing her agony and she just wanted to yell at him for it. But her brain was mush at the moment and it all felt too good to stop. She knew what he was going to do, and she wasn't about to stop him.

His fingers reached the elastic line of her panties and he dipped them below the fabric; her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he rubbed the smooth skin just above her sensitive area. She definitely planned something…

"The fucking death of me…" he mumbled again into her neck. He began tracing his tongue down her skin and she moaned. He slid his fingers lower, causing her back to arch into him. She accidentally rubbed against the crotch of his jeans and he growled loudly into her shoulder, "Jesus…"

"Please," she begged breathlessly, turning her head some to face him. He captured her lips in a bruising kiss, biting her bottom lip between his teeth. He gently sucked on it as he began rubbing circles against her clit. She threw her head back onto his shoulder, ignoring the pain his teeth had caused when she pulled away, "Ell—," she released a loud moan that went straight to his cock. He increased the pressure by sinking a finger into her. She let out a half-scream and was thankful his arm was wrapped around her because she would have fallen. He added another finger and she hissed.

"You're so wet, Olivia," he rasped out, kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear again, "I'm not going to be able to hold on much longer,"

"I want you—now!" She managed. That was all he needed to hear. He pulled out of her and turned her around, gently placing her against the wall so she had a sturdy support. He loosened the belt around his waist and tugged his jeans down his legs, along with his boxers.

He was most definitely shameless.

Olivia couldn't remove her gaze from his entire, naked form; he was beautiful and sexy. A dangerous mixed that made her feel bad for the men who couldn't compete with him. He was devastatingly built and she suddenly wondered if he would fit.

"I don't have a condom," he said between breaths.

"Elliot, at my age, pregnancy is almost unlikely," she reassured him, though in this beautiful moment that fact still saddened her, "and I'm clean."

"Me too, I just want to make sure this is alright."

"It's alright." She said, resting her forehead against his. He pressed a small kiss to her lips before proceeding.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up against the wall again; he was positioned at her entrance and he slowly let her down onto him, groaning into her neck as she moaned up into the air. Her head hit the wall with a hollow thud, but she barely registered it.

The moment they had both imagined had finally happened, and it was nothing like they ever thought.

"Oh god…" she cried, her voice an octave higher, "…Elliot—!"

"Olivia, you're—," neither could complete their sentences; they remained still for a moment, not ready for the moment to end. When he was sure he was settled, he slowly thrust up, eliciting a louder noise from her; it was probably his favorite sound yet. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and he latched on to her breast, sucking in an agonizing motion. Her mouth had formed the perfect O shape and he couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked in that moment.

They found a rhythm quickly; not too fast, but not too slow. She met each of his, earning groans of pleasure from each other. She felt her peak rise up again and her whimpers became more urgent. He was close as well, but he forced his eyes open to watch her come.

"Come for me, Liv," he whispered, reaching a hand in between them to rub her clit again. And just like that, she came crashing down. Her body tensed as she let out a scream and bit into his shoulder to hide the noise as though someone might possibly hear what they were doing. Her walls clamped down around him, sending him to the edge, "That's it," he gritted out, continuing to rub her until her body began to slowly relax. She was still coming down from her high, her muscles releasing their stress, when his finally happened; he cried out her name and his thrusts slowed down as his body tensed up. He came inside of her, releasing everything. He hit the glass behind her head, sending the glass flying around them; they didn't really care at the moment.

His body had visibly relaxed, and his knees gave out beneath them.

Now on the floor, they tried to regain their breaths, panting into each other's skin, "Holy shit…" he rasped out, resting his lips against the skin of her neck, "…that was amazing." She could only nod against his chest; she was too worn out to speak at the moment. "What do you suppose we tell Cragen tomorrow morning when he sees the glass?"

"We got into an argument?" She suggested. "It would keep him from knowing about this," she explained, tilting her head up to kiss just below his jaw.

"Some argument," he laughed, "but not a bad idea. It'll probably come out of our pay."

"We still have enough," Olivia said simply, "did the glass cut you?" She asked after a moment, turning his hand over; sure enough, there was some blood.

"Just a little, nothing too major." Elliot said, glancing down at the cuts, "Let's get dressed and I'll get this checked out, okay?"

"Okay." She smiled; he gave her one last kiss before he allowed her to get her clothes.

XxxxX

It had been a few days since the interrogation room, and needless to say, Cragen was pissed about the broken glass. He suspended them both for two days and took away a large portion of their pay for the glass. None of this came as a surprise though.

He told them to sort their problem out before he allowed them back in the precinct. He hadn't warned them about getting new partners, much to their surprise.

It was the Sunday after, and Olivia had found herself in her bathroom awaiting her results. Something had felt off for days, and she was a little scared. Her doctor said conception was about a 35% chance for her now, but she knew her body. Something was definitely off, and she wanted to see before she missed her period. If she was pregnant, it was unplanned, but not completely unwanted. If she wasn't, things would be okay…right?

It felt like ages before the fives tests in front of her beeped; she wanted to be absolutely sure.

Sucking in a large breath, she stood up and looked down at each test…

Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.

She released the breath she was holding and let out a small sob, covering her mouth with her hands. She didn't know what to feel. She was definitely happy, but this changed everything…

XxxxX

"Glad to see you're back." Fin said as Elliot walked into the precinct. He and Olivia were no longer on suspension, to which he was thankful for. He was surprised Olivia wasn't already here, at her desk like always. Maybe Cragen hadn't called her yet?

"It's good to be back," Elliot said, staring at her desk, "Where's Liv?"

"She hasn't come in yet," Munch answered, shaking his head, "But quick question…what were you two arguing about that made you break the glass?"

"Just the case," Elliot lied smoothly, "I wasn't going to hit her, no matter how mad I was. So I opted for the glass, 'figured it was less of a mess and wouldn't cost me a partnership…"

"Elliot, I need you in my office now." Cragen said from his doorway. Elliot glanced back at Fin and Munch who just shrugged. He walked to the office and shut the door on his way in.

"Where's Liv?" He asked.

"…She put her papers in, Elliot," Cragen replied carefully.

"What? Why would she do that?"

"I don't know…" the elder man said truthfully, "I don't know if she'll be stopping by to clear her desk, but could you box her stuff up?" Elliot nodded, but it felt like a hole had been stabbed into his chest. She was the knife, and she turned it herself…

He walked back out into the precinct, his hands itching to hit something for real this time. Why would she do this? She regrets it…he knew it, deep down he knew it. It was all a mistake, and it's all my fault for agreeing with her. He was the biggest idiot in the world. And now she's running away because she doesn't want to face it…fuck.

"What the captain want?" Fin asked.

"Liv put her papers in," Elliot said in a voice too calm to be good. The two detectives remained quiet, and Elliot began clearing her desk.

A/N: Feedback is always appreciated. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I hope it wasn't rushed, but I didn't want to take too long to drag out the backstory. The next chapter will finish with the backstory and then it'll switch. I'm so glad so many of you like it already!