I'm really sorry for taking so long with this.
I was in Turkey, then I got sick but now I'm okay again and so I decided to finish this story with an extra long chapter!
Thanks for reading, I hope to hear from you all through my other stories too!
–

Looking back, I did see the changes. I just didn't want to see them and so I pretended that they hadn't appeared. Obviously it was the worst act I could do in the situation as I was the one who caused their appearance in the first place, and continued to do so unknowingly.

Now, I feel so stupid and angry at myself. How could I act the way I did? How did I not acknowledge the obvious?

The way his eyes seemed to dim every passing day and the way his smile no longer appeared, the way he flinched away when someone talked to him or tried to touch him, the way he stopped trusting his friends... How could I have been so stupid?

How did I allow myself to change into someone who made his smile disappear?

–

-Gray's POV (Two weeks before Natsu's disappearance)-

I did understand that I was being an asshole. There was really no good reason for me to insult Natsu the way I was doing, but I couldn't help it. Every time I saw his face I felt this uncontrollable fury rising inside of me and the words would just spit out on their own. I wasn't doing anything to even try to stop myself once I started. After all, it was Natsu. He was used to me insulting him. If I acted like I did towards anyone else, like the girls, I would try to control myself.

Okay, the time when Lucy dumped the bucket of water over me, I did realize that I had no control over myself or my words. I had taken the joke a bit too far.

The idiot, however, was being a bad sport in my opinion, backing out when I was clearly requesting a fight. We fought almost every day so why were these days so different, just when I needed to blow off some steam?
Why, you might ask, do I need to blow off steam right now? Well, there was this incident. It was over in a flash really, but it left me angry and frustrated. And honestly...sad and guilty.

My teacher, Ur, died protecting me. So seeing a woman who looked just like her made me feel like old wounds were opening up again. I felt so angry at myself for being too weak and that's why I needed to vent on something. Or in this case someone, meaning my rival: Natsu.

Why fat jokes? Honestly, just because it's something I haven't done before. Nothing else to it.

I felt anger rising inside of me again as I saw the pink-haired idiot walking towards the counter, soon passing my table.

Taking my chance, I quickly extended my leg before his feet and like I hoped, he tripped and almost hit his head on the floor. He pushed himself up and looked at me in anger as I didn't even try to hide my actions.

"Let me think, next thing you're going to say is that I'm 'too fat to walk'?" Natsu looked like he was trying to hold himself back from grabbing me and throwing me through a wall.

I just smirked.
"I believe you just said it yourself." I saw him grit his teeth as the blood kept rising in his head, making him redder and redder by the moment. It was truly hilarious.
Just as I prepared myself for a good fight, Natsu gave a loud huff and turned around before stomping away in anger. What was wrong with him?! I was asking for a fight for gods sake!

I got so angry that I stood up and used magic on him, creating ice under his muffler, making him stop in shock before he let out a surprised scream.

I let out a laugh as Natsu melted the ice, creating steam, making it seem like he was so angry that it was rising from his head. He turned around slowly and this time I knew I had won.

"GRAY! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

–

Day after day Natsu seemed more withdrawn than the day before, and at the same, my anger just kept rising to new levels, bringing out the sides of me that I had wished would never appear.

I couldn't see the consequences of my words and actions at that time even though the damage I caused was serious.

Without anyone knowing, Natsu was growing weaker. He started hiding himself away by creating an emotional barrier around himself. The barrier grew stronger, as if eating away Natsu's strength in order to just devour it more by shielding himself away from the only people who could help him.

Maybe it was just me who failed to notice. Even though I heard the whispers, the words, the shouts, I denied them.
I thought I knew him. I thought I knew me.

I was wrong after all. But at that time I just couldn't see it.

–

-Gray's POV (On the day of Natsu's disappearance)-

I turned my head as I heard the voice of the pink-haired dragonslayer. I was quite shocked to see him holding Lucy's arm as he stared at her angrily. He appeared very threatening. What he said next made my blood go cold.

"If you say another word I'll break your arm." His tone was cold and beyond serious.
Everyone who had been listening to the conversation seemed to just stop and stare, unable to act due to their shock.

Erza was the first to snap out of it and she didn't hesitate to act. She grabbed Natsu's arm and tore it away from Lucy, before pushing her behind herself.

"Natsu, what's going on?" No worry could be heard from her voice that moment, only anger.

Natsu only stared at the two girls for a while before something in his eyes changed and he ran away from the situation.

I watched as he disappeared from the guild before I turned to look at the two girls. Lucy held her slightly bruised hand while wearing a scared and a worried look. Erza looked angry, but I recognized the same worry in her eyes.

Only then did I notice the difference. Natsu had changed.

But at that point it was too late as the boy disappeared from the door, not to return for a long time.

–

He had been gone for over a month now.

I wasn't sure why I was thinking about him so much. Was it the regret and shame for what I had said to him or maybe I was honestly worried about him since he had not been in a good state of mind when I last saw him?

Whatever it was, I was unable to stop thinking about him.

It had been so long already. Was he not going to come back? Was it... because of what I said?

I shook my head. He was just an idiot. He loved the guild more than anything. He would return soon, surely.

...Right?

"Oh! It's Natsu!" Someone shouted. I turned around in a flash to see the young man walking in the guild. I was right after all.

I couldn't see him well as the sun shone so brightly behind him and so I found myself walking towards him and, unexpectedly, grinning.

"Hey, you idiot! Where have you-" When I saw him, I stopped in shock.

"W-what the hell happened to you?" I asked a bit breathlessly. He looked terrible. I had no idea what could have caused his condition, but I had never seen him look like it. His skin, which had been full of healthy color, had now become pale and ghostly and the child-like roundness of his cheeks was gone and was replaced with sharp features which told me that he was very malnourished.

Questions ran through my head. Had he been captured and denied of food? Maybe even tortured?

I couldn't move. I just stared at him as he leaned on the door frame for support. He looked exhausted.

"Natsu!" I heard Erza shout behind me before he ran past me to help the weak mage. He however didn't like the idea of getting help and he swatted Erza's hand away with anger and displeasure.

"Don't touch me." He said with such coldness that it was hard to believe it was his voice. He then walked away from us without even sparing a glance.

Erza stared at Natsu's retreating back with just as much shock written on her face that I knew I also had.

"W-what?" She gasped.

As my shock finally seemed to fade, I felt the anger rise inside of me. Along with the anger came also determination and so I walked towards the younger mage with quick steps. I was right behind him in the matter of seconds and I threw out my hand to catch his wrist, stopping him. He turned to look at me with anger and I met his gaze with the same look.

"What the hell- Gray! Let go, you bastard!" The boy shouted with much more anger than usually. Like I was an enemy. The treatment I received only hurt for a moment before I gathered myself again.

"No, not until you tell me what the hell happened to you!" Only now I noticed how much attention we had gotten from everyone in the guild. Some had walked closer to see the shape Natsu was in as some just stared in shock or mumbled. Right then, I didn't care at all. The only thing I saw was the angry fire inside Natsu's eyes which seemed to grow even more vicious as I had finished my sentence.

"What the hell-" Natsu shouted as he yanked his arm from my grip with unnecessary force, "-does it matter to YOU!?" I got thrown back a step and I stared at him with surprise and worry. More than ever, I felt regret at that moment.

I had no idea what had happened to him. I could only imagine the worst. Maybe he was captured and used somehow? Maybe even...sexually? And during all that time he had felt like I hated him? I felt horrible. Was it...all my fault?

Natsu held his wrist, which I had been holding just now and panted hard as his exhaustion seemed to weight him down.

He held his head down and I saw his figure starting to sway. I knew what was going to happen and so I took a step towards him.

"Wh-why...would you even..." He could only breathe out before his legs gave out and he started falling. Without a word I easily caught him and I descended on the floor with him. I heard him panting weakly next to my ear.

"I thought you...were..." He whispered with his voice cracking before he fell completely limp in my arms.

People were talking loudly and they were swarming all around us. I only held Natsu's body closer to mine and I didn't allow anyone else to touch him.

I was completely silent as I turned Natsu's body so that I could reach my other arm under his knees and the other to support his back before I lifted him up with ease. I had to grit my teeth as the situation dawned even more clearly to me with the action. He was so light that it was almost ridiculous.

I pushed my way through all the worried people before I went upstairs towards the infirmary. As I heard running footsteps following me, I felt myself snap.

"Don't you FUCKING follow me!" I shouted as I turned my head towards the people behind me. I wasn't even sure who they had even been as I continued my way, but for sure, they all stopped and no one followed.

Even though I had let out my anger towards the people who had nothing to do with this, I knew that I was actually just angry at myself. I felt like I had never been so furious at my own stupidity before.

I opened the door to the infirmary and I was glad that no one was using it right now. I walked to the furthest bed and put Natsu down on it. I made sure that he was as comfortable as he could be that moment even though he stayed oblivious to it all.

I stared at him for a moment, as if trying to think for a solution for a problem yet finding none. I then sighed and removed his sandals from his feet.

I didn't have time to do anything else as the door opened. I turned my head quickly and I was about to shout again before I noticed who it was.

"Master." I said silently. He wore a gloomy look as he closed the door behind him and walked to the bed.

"I saw what happened back there. It's best if I take a look at him." I wondered if I had shouted at Master just now.

"I-I'm sorry for shouting." Master shook his head.
"It's fine. I believe you had a reason." The old mage said as he looked at Natsu.

"I...I have been so cruel towards him. I said horrible things..." I ran my hand over my face and hair as I remembered all the things I had told him. I felt a bit sick to think that things had suddenly turned so bad.

I saw Master leaning closer before he lifted Natsu's hoodie up.

I gasped. The kid was just skin and bones! "W-what the hell?!" Master's look turned serious.
"I thought so. Poor boy." He sighed and pulled the hoodie down again. I looked at him in confusion. What knowledge did he gain from that?
"I don't understand, what happened to him?" I demanded. Master looked me straight into my eyes.

"I have been looking at your actions lately, Gray. Just as well as Natsu's. I had hoped that it wouldn't become so serious but I didn't realize just how much he was affected..." His gaze went back to Natsu's thin, unconscious figure.

"W-what?" I asked in confusion. Master locked his gaze with mine again.

"It's an eating disorder, Gray."

My world froze.

Then it all slowly started to make sense. Everything.

I shook my head before I let it sink into my hands.

"No, no, no, no..." I retreated a few steps until my back hit the wall behind me and I found myself sliding down to the floor.

Shit, shit, shit! It was all my fault. All of it. It was me who had driven Natsu into this.

"I'm sure that you can see how serious his condition is. Without treatment, he might die. I will get someone from the hospital to provide him some nutrition now that he is unconscious." I couldn't react to his words. I felt like I was spiraling into chaos and I wasn't able to stop it.

"I won't blame you for this as long as you know what to do now, Gray." With those words, he was gone and I was left in the room with the one I hated the most right then. Myself.

–

I woke up in a quite familiar room. I recognized it as the infirmary of the guild. "How did I end up in here?" I lifted my head up slightly and saw that there was no one there. I fell back down right away and I didn't feel like I had any strength to move.

"How long have I been here?" I wondered. I lifted my left arm and I felt something in it. I saw a needle going inside it and a thin tube going to a bag at the other end. I knew instantly what it was. "No, no, no!" I shouted inside my mind and ripped the needle off. It hurt. I held my arm where the liquid had just gone inside my vein. "I need to go... I can't lay here for any longer..." I thought as I pushed myself up. As my hand, which had just been holding my left arm, fell to my side I saw that it was covered in blood and glanced back at my left arm, where even more blood was seen. "Good... maybe some of the nutrition will come out too..." I thought and put my feet on the ground. Now I saw that my shirt had been changed. "No...! They saw me when they changed the shirt! No, no, no!" I shouted inside my mind and hugged my disgusting body. I soon gathered myself and took support of the edge of the bed as I shifted my weight to my feet. It was hard to stand. "Why are you this weak? Why are you this disgusting? I hate you... I hate you so much..." A voice said in my head. I soon noticed that I was crying again. I was just about to take a step forward when the door suddenly opened.

"Natsu!" A strong voice said in worry. I knew who it was. But it was the person that I really didn't want to see right now. I looked up to see him standing before me with a shocked look. I wanted to run away from him. I tried to step back but my feet couldn't carry my weight so I fell to the ground. I tried to move backwards, away from him, but I couldn't take my gaze from him.
"No...! Don't- Don't look at me!" I said and I threw my hands on my upper body. My feet rose to cover myself better and I was finally able to hide my face from him. I wanted to disappear. I felt so ashamed of myself. A pathetic whimper escaped me and I could feel tears running down from my eyes. Crying felt much worse than before. It made my whole body shake and I couldn't stop the urge of hiding in a corner, hiding myself. I felt fragile. I felt like I was going to shatter if someone would hurt me anymore. But something that I didn't expect happened.

Gray walked a few steps closer to me and collapsed down to his knees. I slowly turned to look at him and I saw something that I didn't expect. His other hand was supporting him on the floor and the other was over his eyes. His form soon started shaking. I soon heard sound of drops falling to the ground and I slowly turned my head to look at the ground, where big teardrops were now resting. Then my gaze went back to Gray, whose cheeks were wet with tears. I couldn't really register what was happening. Gray was...crying?

"Natsu... I'm so sorry... It's all my fault...I'm so sorry... so sorry..." He tried to wipe most of the tears off his face before he continued.

"-I didn't mean it, really! I said so much stupid things... I feel so much regret that I could die-! -I'm just so sorry...!" He continued to say.

My tears stopped. I felt empty. What was he saying? He was sorry? He didn't mean it? So what...had I been doing up until now? For what did I torture myself inside for so long? I forced my body to stood up. I took support from the edge of the bed and walked towards the window. I didn't bother wiping away my tears. I just... couldn't take it anymore. I managed to open the window. I leaned out a bit. The air was so fresh and everything seemed to be so calm and pure. No one knew how I was feeling right now. No one knew that the world would be soaked in red soon. "It's going to end.. Finally it's going to end..." I thought and more tears ran down my face as I leaned further out. Right when I was about to fall, a pair of strong arms caught me from behind in a hug.

"What are you doing?! Stop torturing yourself already! It's all my fault! Please, just blame me for everything and stop hurting yourself!" He shouted and pulled me down. I was powerless against him and we were soon on the floor, on our knees, and he never let me go. I tried to struggle away from his grip but it was no use. In my weakened state I couldn't do anything.
"Let me- go!" I said and I heard my voice shattering. But it didn't matter right now. I just wanted to get away and end it all for good.

"No! You're going to hurt yourself again! I don't want to be the cause of your suffering anymore! You did this because I said... that you are fat, right?" He said and I stopped my movement.

"I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry... I didn't think that you would react this way.." He said sorrowfully. Maybe Gray still didn't realize? I didn't see Gray as a friend anymore. I was passionate about him. I couldn't live without him anymore. I couldn't live with the feeling of him hating me anymore.

"It's-" I started. He fell completely silent. It didn't matter anymore. I could just say it and get it over with. I turned to look at him. I must have looked terrible.

"It's because I love you!"

His eyes went wide. His mouth was left open. He was shocked. He hadn't realized it. He hadn't thought- even for a minute- that I was in love with him. I felt so stupid.

That moment seemed to last forever. It seemed like I was truly resting on the edge of a blade. Either way, there was no turning back. And either way, there wasn't any way for me to be happy anymore. After all, I had destroyed it with my own hands. Oh, how cruel life can be. My head hung low. I couldn't look at Gray's face anymore. It was too painful. His expression told everything. His companion, his friend, no, his rival, turned out to be in love with him. The balance they had now crumbled completely and left both sides hurt.

"Just..." I started. My voice was weak. I hoped that I could get my words through. I just felt so tired. I just wanted it all to end already. Because...

"-Just let me die already..." I just wanted to die for this unrequited love.

"I've already become like this... I just... want it all to be over..." I almost whispered. The road was nearing the end. Nothing was going to be the same anymore. But one thing was sure, I wasn't going to live for long. I lifted my head up just a bit. I was about to look at Gray, but before I could, his body was against mine. His strong hands were holding me in his embrace. He felt warm. He smelled nice. Everything about him made me love him more. Everything about him made me hurt more inside. Oh, how I would've wanted to stay there forever in his arms. But I wasn't the only one hurting. Gray was crying too. Because of me, his life had turned upside down. I couldn't apologize enough. His head was resting on my shoulder and his warm tears dropped silently against my back. His sadness made me sad. But I didn't want to cry anymore. I couldn't move. I just stayed in his arms, waiting for his judgment.

"You're such an idiot..." His voice said. Yes, I was such a fool. How did my life become like this, just because I ended up loving him?

"You're such an idiot, Natsu...!" His voice cracked and his arms wrapped around me even tighter than before. But this time, I wasn't trying to run away. This would be the last one. Just this one last embrace and it would be over.

"How can I love you if you're going to die, Natsu!?" The world stopped with those words. What did he just say? Did I lose my mind and start imagining things?

"W-what...?" I managed to ask out. Gray pulled away, but had his hands on my shoulders, holding me tightly.

"Natsu, you can't die like this! I still have many things to say to you- many things we have to do together- that's why-!" He gently shook my shoulders with those words.

"Let me fall in love with you." He said and looked me deeply in my eyes.

"Gray..." I thought that I wouldn't cry. I thought that no matter what he would say, I wouldn't sway. That I was going to be able to die today. What was this feeling? Suddenly, my chest felt light. The pain seemed to go away. The tears ran down my cheeks again. Hope. That was the feeling that I had locked away and forgotten. My whole body shook. I felt weak and so very cold. I didn't feel like myself at all.

"Gray...I...!" I said between my sobs as I finally realized.

"-I don't want to die!" I shouted and let my body fall against him. I was glad to feel his arms around me once again as I continued to cry to his chest. His strong hand traveled on my head and clutched my hair gently.

"It's okay, it's okay, Natsu. Everything will be okay, you hear?" Gray told me a bit breathlessly as he was a bit shaken himself.

"Jus-just...don't leave me..!" It was strange to find myself saying such weak things, but they were my honest feelings at that moment and now, more than ever, was the right time to say them. I was glad to feel Gray's hand rubbing my back while he held me even tighter.

"I won't. I promise. I will not leave you."

And that was all I needed. With those words I knew that everything would turn out alright.

-End-

I hope that satisfied you all.
I actually began to write this story by writing the ending first and it has remained almost unaltered.
If you wish to read similar fictions I have written many and if you have read them already, leave a vote on my profile and I will write a new one of your liking.
Thank you!