Wow. Just wow. I'm tired.
Don't own anyone else's plot babies except for mine!
The first thing Starrk did after flipping on the light was plant himself on the couch. It was soft, and if he fell off it would be onto shaggy carpet. Lilynette did a proper inspection: the beds were bouncy; the pantry and fridge were chock full of food and they had proper entertainment. Claiming the spot just in front of Starrk on the carpet, she became engrossed in three rounds of Tekken before deciding she would rather Starrk on his bed instead, so she could use the couch. Eyeing an airhorn sitting on the dining table, she grabbed it and honked it into Starrk's ear. Taking a moment to take in the situation, Starrk then proceeded to make his way upstairs. He could lock out Lilynette if need be.
Starrk's mouth dropped in awe as he took in the abundance of pillows, the cloud-soft mattress and the peace of the bedroom. Moreover, it was his. That Urahara guy was right about the accommodation, after all. Wondering how much effort Urahara had put into looking after them, Starrk noticed a folded piece of paper that stood out from the grey of the covers. Tentatively opening it, he found a not so comfortable message:
Hi Starrky, (Starrk's eye twitched in irritation)
I spent a lot of time, money and effort making your place and everybody else's, so the only thing you can come to me for now is advice. According to human laws, Lilynette has to be sent to school. I've recommended her to a prestigious school in the next suburb called St George's College. The fees aren't too bad, but if you're gonna pay them you'll have to get a job.(Starrk's face instantly fell) Hey, at least she'll be away from you five days a week for six hours a day, or more if she does after school clubs and stuff. Anyway, I'm sure there'll be a job just waiting for a lazy bum like you!
Everyone else is living in the vicinity, but don't depend on them too much, alright? Don't forget to be nice to your neighbours!
Love from your local perverted shopkeeper,
Kisuke Urahara
Urahara Shoten
PS You all have to pay me back, you know.
Feeling an uncharacteristic sense of vigour, Starrk bolted down the steps and flipped through the newspaper on the kitchen bench. This thing about "money"… it was driving him. He never had felt this before, but this was an overwhelming sense of thirst that he certainly could not resist.
Even though there were multiple pages of jobs, only one stood out.
Staff shortage
Enquire at Bumbler Muffin Bed Company
"Hmm… looks like a lazy enough job. Plus, they made my bed and I'm loving it already," Starrk turned to Lilynette,"Lily! Hurry up, we're going out!" Lilynette looked up groggily from her tenth round of Tekken. "Since when were you in such a hurry? I don't wanna get up, anyway!" She flopped back down onto her original position on the couch. Starrk, sighing, grabbed a leather jacket hanging on the door. "Fine, I'll go myself. Look after the house, alright?" A grunt signalled her understanding. Closing the door behind him, the cool autumn breeze hit him square in the face. Starting down the pavement, his grey eyes looked up at the browning trees.
What had he been missing out on all this time?
Bumbler Muffin stood out like a wolf in a herd of sheep. It towered over the houses around it, reminding Starrk of Aizen's throne room in Las Noches. Thank goodness the bastard was still locked up in the Sereitei. The unfamiliar smell of luxury entered his nose as he walked into the swanky establishment. Not a bed in sight. An attractive receptionist shyly approached him. "Were you here to enquire about our advertisement in the newspaper? May I take you to our CEO's office?" Starrk glanced sideways towards her before nodding slightly. "Yeah, and if that's how it works here, go for it." Blushing immensely, the receptionist led him into an elevator, up five flights of stairs and through countless hallways before stopping outside a pair of heavy oak doors. Starrk noticed how much more gold-gilded and fancy this part of the building was. Signalling for him to wait outside, the receptionist hesitantly opened the doors and entered the office. After about two minutes, she poked her head out of the door and beckoned for him to come in. Blinded by the pure swankiness of the office, he still found his way into the seat opposite from the CEO of Bumbler Muffin.
The CEO extended his hand, which Starrk shook. "Good afternoon, I see Lara brought you here in one piece. I'm Bumbler Muffin, the CEO of this wonderful company. There is nothing better than having a company named after yourself, is there?" Muffin let off a roaring laugh before returning his gaze to Starrk. "What brings you here, my good man? Lara, get us some coffee!" 'Lara' complied, her blue eyes wide in panic. "Lara's my secretary. She was so anxious to wait for someone who wants to work here. Do you want to introduce yourself?" Starrk nodded. "The name's Coyote Starrk. I'm lazy, and the only reason I'm here is to earn money to send my, um, sister to school. Anyway, if you're the CEO of a bed company, shouldn't there be a bed in here? Isn't that what you're supposed to stand for? Plus, you guys made my bed and it could use some improvements. It's soft, but it's so soft you can't sleep." That last bit was a lie, but it definitely got to Bumbler Muffin. He grabbed Starrk by the shoulders, leaning over the desk. "Starrk, son, I've owned this company for 50 years and you've been the only one to understand what this company needs. I know it's sudden, but will you take over this company for me? I've needed a holiday for a long time now. It is very successful, and it needs another lazy leader to prosper even more. Do you accept my offer?" Starrk nodded rapidly, sweating from the man's unyielding grip.
"Lilynette! Guess what?" Lilynette had occupied herself with snacking on some biscuits she found in the pantry. Looking up, she found Starrk dropping a bag from Mark and Spencer's along with what looked like a paycheque onto the kitchen bench. She did the best spit take she could with the crumbs in her mouth. Pinching herself, she read the cheque again.
One million dollars.
"What sort of job did you get, Starrk!? This is no amount for a first paycheque! Did you, like, become a CEO of some – oh?" Lilynette noticed a professional looking badge being shoved in her face.
Coyote Starrk, CEO
Bumbler Muffin Bed Company
"How the hell did that happen?" Lilynette was ready for anything. "Stuff happened. Apparently they wanted a lazy leader, and I was Primera, after all. I got the job instantly. Anyway," Starrk produced a letter he had found in the mailbox outside. "This is about you going to school." Lilynette read the letter, her pink eyes widening more and more as it went on.
Dear Mr Starrk,
We have read the application Mr Urahara put in for you and I must say I am very impressed with your sister Lilynette. We would be glad to offer a partial scholarship for her, which is a 50% discount off tuition fees. For this scholarship, it is required that she come and have an interview at this time…
…Regards,
Geoff Smith
Headmaster
"I hope Urahara dies. I don't want to interact with stupid humans! I'm gonna have to act all nice and stuff! And also, I have to listen to you, stupid Starrk!" Lilynette repeatedly punched Starrk in the stomach until he was groaning on the floor. Clutching at his stomach, Starrk groped his way to the couch, after which he climbed on and glared at Lilynette. A quick rap on the door interrupted their staring contest. Lilynette hesitantly opened the door to reveal…
… Urahara. "What did you say about me dying now?" He easily caught the resulting kick. "STALKER!" Urahara lifted her upside-down until they were face-to-face. "Now now, I came just to help you out with this upcoming interview," he dropped Lilynette, "and to check out how you liked my handiwork. Shame Yoru-chan isn't here to see this. She would be so proud of me~" Urahara had a slight nosebleed which even Starrk (with his sharp eyes) almost failed to notice. Urahara cleared his throat, while Starrk went outside to drag a struggling Lilynette in. Slamming the door shut, Starrk deposited Lilynette on the carpet before turning to face their visitor. "What do you mean, "help"? We were going to be fine on our own… wait… zzz…" Starrk started drooling onto the kitchen tiles, asleep on the floor. "I guess it's just me and you, huh?" Urahara remarked. Lilynette kicked him in the shin as her only response.
"You're right, the uniform is nice… but DO I HAVE TO WEAR A SKIRT!?" Lilynette liked wearing something with colour for once; Hueco Mundo was black and white compared to the World of the Living. The only thing that pissed her off was this knee-length, navy-blue thing that deserved to go die in a hole… if skirts could die. "Err… yes. That means you can't randomly kick people, at least if you value your decency." Urahara sighed in relief; he didn't want any more blows on him. How did Starrk handle this kid?
Starrk knocked on the wall beside the open door, having just woken up and wondering what the ruckus upstairs was. "I'm expecting you to keep that uniform clean, Lily. I'm not going to be cleaning it for you, so save yourself some trouble. You know how to use the washing machine so I'm expecting it to be spotless every day before I go to work." Urahara's head jerked towards Starrk's direction. "You got a job? Already?" Starrk just nodded in reply. "Yeah… I'm the new CEO of Bumbler Muffin. I start work Monday." Urahara blinked before resuming his normal expression. He told Starrk to get a job, but not that quickly… "You're such a lucky dog – er… duck, Starrky. So that's how you got by in Las Noches, eh?" Starrk shrugged. "More or less. Apart from my rank, of course."
"Wow… who'd expect any less from a Primera?"
"That's all, Lilynette. But, the key word is to behave. Behave as if you're independent, but you have never ever thought a single bad thought in your entire life." Urahara had (against their will) accompanied Lilynette and Starrk to their interview with Mr Smith.
"With this idiot here, I wonder how our interview will go…" Lilynette only saw Urahara as a bad omen, but was she right?
Woot! Starrk's a lucky ducky, isn't he? Urahara's being the troll he is, but he's really just trying to help, ne? The Soul Society characters won't be making much of an appearance in this, but they may appear in some very embarrassing situations. Aizen is not on my plans for this story right now, but he will have a dose of his own medicine~ (Bumbler Muffin=Dundler Miffin) I've just realised, this seems like a series of vignettes than a continuous, flowing plot line. But, that's probably just me.
Does our interview end in success? Or would you rather see how Barragan and his (hawt) fraccion are doing? Reviews are appreciated, but flames shall be used to set fire to Yumichika's hair!
Viva la fanfiction. Please read my other Bleach stories!