Hi guys! Umm, I would like to thank you all for reading, commenting, and following this story. It really means a lot. I will try my best to update more now that I have a bit of muse. So here is the next installment of Athazagoraphobia. (It is so hard to remember how to type this!)

I woke up the next morning with a large yawn, my eyes squinting at the sun's rays. I shift slightly to get comfy when my hands flex and stretch.

Shit.

I jump up and look around the room frantically. The place a blur without my glasses which doesn't help my situation at all. My heart starts to rise up my throat and my stomach whirls and flips on itself. I try to say something, anything but my voice is gone. Mattie disappeared. He left me. He probably forgot about me and is better off without me around. My mind goes into a spiral so deep that I don't even register the door opening as my head snaps from one spot of the room to the other. I finally get pulled out of my almost trance by a pair of hands and the faint smell of maple syrup.

"Alfred? Hey, it's just me. Calm down. I brought you some breakfast cause Kumajishi woke me early." Thank God. His voice relaxes me. My heart returns to it's rightful place and I take a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I can see the blurred expression of my brother. He is giving me a confused look but I brush it off. I just chuckle softly and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Oh man. Dude I had the scariest dream last night. It was beyond cray." I smile at his arm before closing my eyes. The blur was starting to hurt my head. I hear him laugh in that cute way before he pats my head.

"Huh. You having a scary dream? Now that is just strange, eh?"

"Hehe. You said eh."

"It's not that funny, Al."

"What are you talking aboot?" I sit back up and flash a winning smile, feeling around for my glasses. I put them on to see Mattie giving me a cold look.

"I don't even say that."

"Yes you do, buddy."

"You have been watching South Park again, haven't you?" I give a little pout and nod to him.

"Come on. Just say the line. Please?" I drag out the last syllable for added effect. Mattie crumbles with a sigh and a roll of the eyes.

"I'm not your buddy, Pal." He replies in a flat tone. I break into a fit of laughter as he silently judges me, using that passive aggressive anger of his. I calm myself enough to sigh and lean on him again, a content smile on my face.

"This why I love ya, Mattie." His cheeks go red and he scoffs, moving away from me to grab the breakfast tray he has at the end of the bed. He puts the tray on my lap and mumbles about having to make sure Kuma-what's-it's-face hasn't torn into another bag of food before he makes his way to the door. I smile my best to him before I take a are bite of pancake. I made a sound of enjoyment loud enough that Mattie's eyes are blown wide open and his cheeks are as bright as he leaf on his flag. He sputters before running out of the room, I laugh to myself despite the slowly growing pit in my stomach as I listen to the silence of the room.

After I finish my breakfast much faster than I should have, mostly cause of the silence, I follow a trail of muddy prints through the hall. I raise a brow at the sight, Mattie is shaking his finger at a polar who honestly looks like a rebellious teen. Seriously, the bear could be rolling it's eyes if it wanted to-It did! It actually rolled it's eyes! Where the hell did Mattie find this guy? The polar bear simply gets up and walks past my legs, muttering about getting more food as Mattie tried his best to guilt the thing into apologizing for the paw prints. It clearly wasn't working. The Canadian sighed as his shoulders slumped down. I laughed when his bottom lip jutted out into a pout, his eyes travelling up to me before he straightened out. He clearly didn't want to look that cute around me at he moment, I didn't mind. Oh. By the way, I should probably mention that I kinda got a crush on my brother. I don't find it bird or nothing cause everybody is related somehow and we all decided to stop dating normal people. At least after the whole 'Joan of Arc' debacle. Anyway, I like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me. I mean, I haven't seen him get all catholic school girl around anyone else. You just say the word sex around him and his cheeks practically burst into flames. But hey, I think it's cute. While I'm off in my own world, Mattie walks up to me and starts to talk. When he notices that I'm not listening he sighs and takes the tray from me, I blindly follow him cause he tugs my hand along until we get to the kitchen. I laugh to myself as I start thinking about Mattie in a dress or something but he hits my stomach with a damp hand and I let out the manliest screech I can muster. He blinked at me for a moment before he starts to laugh, I don't really see anything wrong so I laugh along too. That's when the phone rings and Mattie picks it up, he answers in English before quickly switching to French. I sigh and watch him for a moment. He frowns then glances at me before replying to the person on the other end. When he hangs up I start to shift uncomfortably. He was glancing at me numerous times and that can never be a good sign. I tilt my had and give him a curious look after he exhales.

"Al, I...uhh, I gotta go for a meeting...with Francis. So I won't be here for a couple days." My stomach plummets into feet. Oh no. He shifts from one foot to the other, a nervous smile on his face as he tries to remedy the look of devastation on my face. "Hey. I won't be gone long and maybe Japan can take care of you, eh?" He purposely puts in the eh for y amusement and when it doesn't work I can literally see his heart crack. His voice softens to a faint whisper. "Look Alfred. Maybe...Maybe it is a good thing to spend some time to yourself, you know, get some thoughts in order, clean a few things, maybe even just to get over that stomach flu you have. Just...call me if you need me, okay? I will have my phone on the entire time." He hugs me and kisses my cheek. My heart pounds and before I can think what I am doing I grab his cheeks and crush our lips together. Maybe it was a desperate attempt at making him stay. Maybe I just needed to show him my feelings already, either way it ended with him running to France's place with wide eyes and tears going down his cheeks.

I made my way home in shock, not bothering to speak with Tony, or even Obama when they see me. I just go straight to my room and fall onto the bed. It isn't until I calm myself down enough to notice that it has been two days since I kissed Mattie and two days since I had locked myself in my room. I sit up and glance around the room, a nagging feeling creeping up into my chest. It spreads the more I look around until it envelopes my heart and lungs then squeezes them. My heart feels like it has stopped while I desperately struggle for a breath. Jesus, why did I have to lock myself in? Why wasn't I around someone? Anyone? My vision spins and I begin to shake violently. My head whips around to the sound of knocking on my door. I try to say something, anything to get the person to come in but my throat constructs around every breath, leaving me mute and gasping for air. These voices in my head get louder with each passing second.

You're completely alone!

No one would remember such a fuck up!

Everyone is better off with you not around!

People don't even love you.

They forget you, ditch you at the nearest possible moment.

Alone~ Alone! All alone, Alfred!

The voices swirl around viciously, my hands gripping my hair in a death grip as I take loud, gasping breaths. The body at my door knocks louder, I faintly hear a shout from the other side. I start to recognize it but the voices take on a mimic of everyone I know. Germany, England, even Mattie start to mock me and insult me.

I know the world is better without that disgusting nation.

I don't even remember wasting a breath on it.

I don't even want to be near the thing that kissed me.

The shouts in my mind are practically vibrating my skull, I hear a bloody shriek rip from my throat and the door bursts open. I refuse to see who it is as my eyes are tightly shut, tears brimming out the corners. I struggle to find my breath as three sets of hands make contact with me. The first holds my shoulders down as I toss and turn. The second tries to pry my hands out of my hair, causing me to pull a few small chunks. And the third is softly running along my cheeks, I can hear the distant calling of my name so I move towards it. The fake voices drowning in the calming tone the person has. I take a large gasping breath as my eyes fly open. I look around quickly to see England, France, and Canada staring at me in matching looks of horror and despair. Mattie's eyes are lined with tears as he stops speaking, repeating my name and reminding me that it is okay as if it was his own mantra. My mind finally slows down enough to process the scene around me.

Fuck. I really have been caught this time. My mind races as I think of what they are about to say.

I should have dead bolted my door.