Thank you for the reviews I have changed the previous chapter was a bit confusing sorry LOL must be a ghost wanting Bensidy too
oooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
His hand still holding hers "I mightn't be here for much longer Liv, I haven't told any of you this yet as it isn't finalized but I will probably be moving on. I don't know if you will be put back in charge temporarily or if you will get a new captain 1PP hasn't said much, being your boss doesn't change how I feel about you or what happened, if it works out there are certain rules we have to follow but we are both professionals here and it won't affect our working relationship"
Seeing her tilt her head to the side looking at him did she want him to leave, did she want to be commanding officer again or did she want a new captain "when? How"
Seeing her brown eyes trying to process it all maybe he shouldn't of said anything "I don't know yet it is all up in the air and I am not meant to say anything yet but I thought you should know, it might not happen my command here was always temporary during the Lewis thing and then made for a bit longer, I just go where they put me, I hope they don't put me UC again that I don't want to do anymore"
She didn't want to think about that feeling his arm link hers pulling her closer looking up at him "want a night cap"
Nodding at her he didn't want the night to end knowing they both went back to empty places "I know a great little café around here"
Smiling up at him "I was thinking more of a coffee back at my place?"
Looking at her they both knew what that meant it was her way of saying she wanted to give them a go "we can take this as slow as you like" pulling her towards him as his arms go around her waist.
Feeling his arm around her waist "what are you doing?"
Not letting go of her "no one will see us here it is out of the way the wrong part of town"
Walking along hand in hand looking up at Murphy "what happens if this does work out and you stay at SVU"
Pulling her closer to him "it just means we will need to disclose it"
Confusion on her face "disclose it, what does that mean who to"
Stopping turning to face her "if it gets that far, it means I have to send a memo to my boss and to 1PP and also let IAB know, if it affects our working relationship or in anyway compromises a case then one of us will be transferred, but we are both professionals and that won't happen"
Her eyes looking up at him "I don't think I'm ready for that"
Looking down into her gorgeous face "we'll just take it slow, we don't have to that for a while not until we are sure"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo
Walking into the kitchen watching Olivia put the kettle on his eyes not moving from watching her turn to face him "find anything you liked"
Nodding at her he had looked at the DVD's that they were going to watch but he only wanted to look at one thing his eyes not moving from her "yes"
Getting the cups out of the cupboard feeling his eyes watching her turning around seeing him close to her feeling his lips on hers wrapping his arms around her body "this is what you meant by taking it slow?"
Stroking her face "I'm not going to hurt you Liv, I get it your scared we can just take it slowly"
Handing him the coffee she was scared of giving love another chance or getting hurt again of feeling the way she felt with Brian the love she felt this time it was with someone she worked with
Looking at her he could see the hurt she was feeling "You're been hurt badly I understand if you don't want this, I'm not him Liv I have kids and want a future with someone if it works out all I want now though is to just give us a chance and see what happens"
Her eyes meeting his as her lips find his wrapping her arms around him she did want to give him a chance to move on to find someone who wanted to grow old with her and have kids before it was too late.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo
His mouth moving around her body, his hand massaging her breasts moving down her body his tongue moving around spreading her legs apart slightly he could feel the moistness down there as his tongue worked its way down he could feel her body loosen and tremble it wasn't long before she gave in to his movement as the moment arrived and she came.
Her eyes opened she liked the feeling of his mouth moving around her body before he was on top of her, her eyes open looking into his she was enjoying it but she couldn't totally commit it felt weird and in a way wrong her eyes closing before opening again
Stroking her face there was something wrong was he hurting her "Liv what's the matter we don't have to do this"
Looking into his eyes how could she say it "Nothing" reaching up to touch his face gently before pulling his lips down to hers, she wanted to block out the image or fact that this was their bed and felt weird being here with someone else.
Feeling Olivia's lips on his she was hiding something he couldn't help but think if she was thinking of him, was he going to be in her mind pulling away from her "Liv, talk to me, something is going on here"
Looking into his eyes there was concern there how could she tell him she wanted to move on, she suggested he come back to her place she wasn't one to open up "it's nothing Dec"
He really did like her and want to be with her but he didn't want to be second best or get hurt until she gets back with him shaking his head "I can't do this Liv, not if you are thinking of someone else I really want to be with you but not if you want him"
Moving away from him her eyes moving away if she wanted to give this a go she would have to open up if anything she learnt was she pushed Brian away she didn't' open up to him could she do it "its…. It's just doing this, having sex in ….. I know we …. but"
Trying to keep the sadness out of his eyes at least she opened up to him "you were drunk then and not now, this is your and Cassidy's bed"
Looking up at him it sounded weird and not something a 48 year old would say let along her but Brian was her first serious boyfriend the first guy she had moved in with, the first guy she really fell in love with, her hand rubbing his cheek "I'm sorry, it's not that I don't want to be with you"
Looking at her she wasn't over Cassidy not by a long shot this was still their apartment their bed and things "that's ok maybe I should just leave"
Is that what she wanted this was new all of this was new the sex was nothing like Brian it was wild passionate spontaneous just like him but she ended it and she needed to move on from him to stop thinking about him, would he of slept with anyone by now
Watching as Murphy gets out of bed pulling his pants on, was she going to live in Brian's shadow unable to move on from him, she had felt something between them she did want to move on find that Right person.
Watching as Declan walks to the door, quickly getting out of the bed walking up to him placing her hand on his arm, looking into his eyes "don't go" rubbing his cheek "maybe next time we go to your place"
Kissing her gently on the lips was he willing to give her up already "we don't have to do this tonight"
Moving her lips away slightly "I'm sorry"
Pulling her body towards him his hand moving her hair off her face "Don't be he was a huge part of your life for a long time and got your through some dark moments I'm not going to push you Liv we can take things at your pace and as slow as you want, but I can't be a rebound guy for you"
Stroking his face moving her lips towards his, her voice soft "you are a great person Declan, you're not the rebound guy I am moving on from Brian, he was a huge part of my life but that part is over you're here and now" as her lips find his all thoughts of Brian leaving her here was a guy who wanted her was understanding and actually wanted a relationship not just hooking up as their kissing intensifies making their way back to the bedroom.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hurrying to the café she needed some closure in their relationship she was moving on slowly with Declan Murphy she had no idea if what they had would work out or if it was some casual affair but at the moment she was enjoying the feeling of something new it was hard to get used to at first someone else in their apartment, their bed but slowly it was becoming a nice feeling and she was going over to his apartment more.
Seeing Brian sitting hurrying inside "Sorry I'm late Brian, got stuck in traffic, work"
Nodding at Olivia she looked good her face had colour "that's ok was wondering if you were going to come and catch up"
Hanging her coat over the chair "I said I would, what did you want to talk about?"
Looking at the menu before looking back at Olivia "I'm sorry Liv about the Christmas dinner I never meant to hurt you there or anything, that girl I was dancing with she was just someone from UC"
Her hands fiddling on the table "you don't need to explain Bri we both didn't handle that moment or night well I think the break up was still raw and the first time we saw each other since then. I think it was hard for both of us."
Looking up at the waiter ordering a coffee and cake each "How are you going, you are looking good"
Smiling at Brian "I'm fine Brian, the nightmares are now stopping hardly there knowing Lewis is dead and unable to hurt me or anyone again and being cleared by the Grand Jury and getting my shield back I feel like I can finally get on with my life"
Looking at his ex girlfriend was there a chance that moving on included him at all he didn't want to push her but he wanted her back in his life if she would give him a chance he had time to think and he wanted her and to grow old with her.
His hands on the table he needed to know "why Liv, why did you go to Lewis alone knowing what he is like, and what he did to you previously"
Her eyes moving away from him the story she told IAB and everyone else "if I had backup he would of killed Amelia it was me he wanted no one else Amelia was bait to get me there and it worked he knew how to get to me"
His eyes not moving from hers the thought that he could of lost her "you knew that he could of killed you, he had already gone on a killing spree, you risked your life for her" closing his eyes he remembered when he heard the news "I was so scared Liv"
Taking a deep breath looking up as the coffee arrives "I did what I had to do to protect Amelia he did all of that for me she was the bait, and I wasn't going to let him kill her too I knew the risk when I went there and yes I knew I could die but what choice did I have he raped her sister because of me and killed their mother" closing her eyes briefly she would never forget him making her watch as he raped Mayers mother before she passed out
The pain of her words and what she was saying what she did "the thought of you there I saw your confession on the news, he forced you to do that then heard that you went rogue cop I was going out of my mind with worry what he was going to do with you" he wanted to know if it was true any of it he was only there for the parts of the trial that she wanted
Her eyes looking up at him "there is something you should know, the confession was the truth Lewis was cuffed when I beat him … that is why I didn't go before the Grand Jury I couldn't perjure myself again I already did it once he knew all that he knew exactly what he was doing he wasn't going to release her it was all about getting me to him again, getting inside my head, knowing what he was capable of he knew that what he could do"
Would it have made a difference if they were still together "You did what you had to do Liv, if we were still together would you have still gone on your own risked your life"
Looking up at Brian she didn't want to answer that she knew the answer that she was hurting a lot from their breakup and had nothing to lose when she went there, she knew she could die and it was a risk she was willing to take, she no longer had someone to go home to, no longer had someone there for her
Her silence was more than words could say "I'm sorry Liv"
Looking up at him "Brian stop apologizing it isn't your fault, it's Lewis's sick mind I'm here and Amelia is safe and this nightmare is now over, I have images that he has made sure that will stay with me for a long time but I'm here now"
Reaching out for her hand he had read the reports at IAB about it and seen the photos "I can't imagine what that would be like I was so worried"
Stroking his hand "I know you were the only person I spoke to at the hospital, the only one I really wanted too, Nick and Fin wanted to stay"
Taking a sip of his coffee "I wanted to stay Liv to comfort you to hold you again I wish we could of worked things out that we had grown closer than further apart, I didn't want to fight with you I hated fighting with you that last week together I wanted to get back into sync with you but I respected that you wanted more, maybe one day we will be right together and be together again"
NEXT CHAPTER – what will Olivia do, will she give Brian another chance or will she chose Lt Muprhy and what does he find out about Olivia that she had kept hidden.