I do not own Trigun / Vash or Rem: they belong to Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

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Changes and Challenges

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Year 0159 month 1 day 14

Rem sighed loudly.

Vash had warned them that he might be away for more than a year, to avoid maintaining a pattern that others might predict. She knew he was hunted. She understood his need to stay away, or at least his worries about what risks his being near might bring.

She appreciated that Vash loved the people at Seeds enough to try to do what was best for them, even when that inconvenienced him.

Unfortunately, knowing and understanding all of those things didn't help. Knowing that she was feeling selfish about those things didn't help, either.

Another thing that didn't help was how deeply Shyla also missed him. Oh, the girl was quiet about it, and did her best to keep it to herself. However, Rem now fully understood what was passing through Shyla's heart when she stared off into the distance with that expression of loss and longing. It meant she was missing Vash.

They were both restless. Vash's absence left a large hole in the family circle. Nothing they tried seemed to fill that emptiness, even a little. Spending time with other Seeds people didn't seem to help much, either. They missed Vash, too.

At least she could walk again. Rem had gradually explored the whole village, including the ship. She'd tried to see where she could be helpful, and any assistance she offered was warmly received. Yet she remained discontent.

When it came down to it, she missed her boy who had grown into such a fine man. The feeling was only growing worse, and it had only been seven months since he left.

"You look unhappy," Shyla observed gently. "Is there anything I can do?"

"How did you know Vash was coming, the day I woke up?"

"I wished for him to come here, and felt him respond," Shyla said.

"I don't suppose you could do that again?" Rem asked hopefully.

"I shouldn't," Shyla said apologetically. "We must trust him to come home when he thinks it right."

Rem sighed again.

"There could be... another option," Shyla said slowly.

Rem tilted her head. "What would that be?"

"I could arrange for you to return to cryo sleep whenever Vash isn't here," Shyla said, "and be waked whenever he comes."

Rem frowned thoughtfully. Something in the girl's manner suggested she'd been giving this a lot of thought, but hadn't said anything until now. Rem looked at her, and raised an eyebrow.

"Vash was devastated when he believed you'd died," Shyla said, answering her look. "He mourned you the whole time, for almost two centuries. It will devastate him again when ever your life really does end. However, if you sleep when he's away, your life will be extended."

Rem smiled. It was like Shyla to think of her and Vash first, before thinking of herself. She couldn't help appreciating the girl's giving nature.

"For you, there would be little or no time when he's away," the girl continued. "For him, you would be part of his life for many years, perhaps even centuries. It would be time that you two could not spend together otherwise."

Clearly, Rem's instinct had been correct. This cryo sleep idea was no random impulse. The girl had been thinking of it, perhaps trying to find a good opportunity to suggest it, for quite some time.

"Are you just trying to get rid of me?" Rem teased.

"Oh no, not at all!" Shyla said. "I'll miss you, almost as much as I miss him. But... well, wouldn't it be better for you to sleep between his visits, instead of being as miserable as you have been these past months?"

Odd as it may seem, this notion appealed. Rem wasn't afraid of cryo sleep. Oh, it wasn't her favorite thing in the world to do, but Shyla was correct. It would be better than how she'd been feeling in the months since Vash went away.

"I'll consider it," she said thoughtfully. She already knew which way she was leaning.

"Thank you," Shyla said. She returned to what she'd been doing before they talked.

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Year 0163 month 5 day 10

Rem's eyelids opened, to show her the recovery room in the cryo unit. This was the seventh time she'd been awakened. Four prior had been because Vash was expected to arrive shortly, and two prior had been to tend technical difficulties where her technical expertise had proven valuable.

Before she had time to wonder which this was, she saw Shyla smiling at her. "Vash is coming," she said.

Rem smiled in return. "Good," she said. She vastly preferred seeing Vash to wrestling with a technical emergency.

After a few minutes, when Rem felt more fully awake, the medics ran her through the usual series of tests. After that, Shyla led her to their house.

"Before we start cooking, may I show you something?" Shyla asked bashfully.

"Of course," Rem replied, curious.

"One of my co-workers at the infirmary is getting married," she said. "She wants me to be a bridesmaid. The dress is finished, and I wanted to show it to you."

"Show it to me on you," Rem said. "Please."

"Okay," Shyla replied.

Rem sat on the couch and waited while Shyla stepped into her room and changed. When she came out, Rem gasped. "It's beautiful!" she said, and smiled. "I see why you wanted to show it to me. Thank you."

Shyla smiled. "It's the prettiest thing I own," she said, twirling around. The long hem had barely risen above her ankles when she spun. "I'd hoped you might like it, too."

"You look pretty in it," Rem said, smiling.

She wasn't exaggerating. The pale green gauze brought out the gentle greens in Shyla's pale hazel eyes, and the style suited the girl's slender figure.

Shyla blushed. "I should change," she said. "I don't want to ruin it while cooking."

"Okay," Rem said, still smiling.

Shyla emerged shortly after in a plain shirt, pants and vest. They both set to preparing various things that they hoped Vash would enjoy – including Shyla's doughnuts.

"Cryo sleep makes it tricky to keep track of the time," Rem said. "How long has it been, since the first time I woke up?"

"Five years," Shyla answered.

"Thank you," she said.

Rem silently considered that. Five years had passed, though she'd only been awake for about eight or nine months of that time. That was enough time for her hair to be a more reasonable length, if still shorter than her preference.

She'd noticed that some things had changed around the village as they walked to the house. It wasn't anything very drastic, though. Waking each year kept the changes feeling gradual, instead of too abrupt. Inside her thoughts, Rem blessed Shyla for thinking of this solution to her situation.

Suddenly the door opened. "I'm home!" Vash's gleeful words wafted in through the open doorway. He was grinning practically from ear to ear, delighted to have surprised them.

Rem dusted the flour off her hands, and turned. "You weren't expected for another hour yet!" she said, pretending to sound miffed.

"I can go somewhere and return later if you'd like," he said, drooping visibly and sounding so sad that she knew he was teasing.

"Don't you dare!" Shyla said.

Rem chuckled as her roommate hurried to Vash's side and hugged him. She saw her dear boy's grin return and widen again as he hugged the girl against his side.

Rem thought again how the two Plants were so cute together. They behaved like two small children who adored each other, but hadn't enough hormones between them for any romantic notions to occur. It seemed almost as if neither of them had fully realized that they are a male and a female. She wondered again how they managed to ignore their gender difference so completely.

Since they'd been like this for over half a century, she wondered if it would ever occur to either of them that they could form their own family. Yet they were good together, and good for each other, as they were.

Rem couldn't regret their lack of romance, aside from a mild and admittedly selfish wish for grandchildren.

She stepped forward, anticipating her own hug. She was not disappointed. It felt so good to see Vash, and hug him, and smell the desert winds on his hair and clothes. He was alive, and well, and looked happy. She squeezed him again, from sheer joy.

He laughed. "Don't break me into two pieces, you two!" he said.

Rem and Shyla both giggled.

"Never," Rem said. "I prefer you in one piece, thanks."

"Me, too," Shyla said.

They separated. He parked his duffel in Shyla's room before sitting on the couch.

Rem sat on the couch near him, turned sideways and leaning against the back of the couch. She wanted to drink in the sight of him. That feeling was becoming normal. She still wasn't fully adjusted to the idea that her little boys had grown up. She pushed aside the pain of recalling the other's deeds, and focused on the one who shared the couch with her.

Vash spread his arms across the back of the couch, and leaned his head back against the wall.

"Ah," he said slowly, closing his eyes. "It's so good to be home. I've missed this place, and both of you, more than I know how to say."

"You are aware that would be perfectly fine with us if you came oftener, I hope?" Rem teased.

He smiled without opening his eyes. "I wish I could," he said softly.

Rem laid a hand on his arm. "I know," she said gently.

His smile widened, and he continued to sit there with his eyes closed, relaxing. He looked happy, and she was content with that.

It was only a very short time later when she realized that his breathing had grown deep and even. He must have traveled fast and far all day, to arrive so much earlier than planned. Small wonder he was tired. He still smiled, even though asleep.

She carefully eased herself up off the couch and went to Shyla.

"He's asleep," she said softly.

Shyla nodded. "I know," she said. "I'm just finishing up the doughnuts that are currently frying before stopping until he wakes."

Of course, she would know, Rem reminded herself. I sometimes forget how sensitive she is toward anything to do with Vash.

The evening went quietly. Vash didn't wake, though he did eventually tip over to sprawl in a more comfortable, horizontal position on the couch.

Rem took off his boots and Shyla slipped a pillow under his head. Together, they spread a blanket over him. After that, the two ladies turned in for the night themselves.

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Year 0163 month 5 day 11

The next morning, after the usual washing up and cooking and eating of breakfast, Rem and Vash were again in the sitting area. It was Shyla's turn to wash the after-breakfast dishes, so she was tending to that chore.

Rem had no news of her own, except that she again slept while he was gone. So she was telling Vash about Shyla's new dress for her co-worker's upcoming wedding, and how well the dress flattered both the girl's coloring and her figure.

Vash was listening, and for a moment, he closed his eyes as if imagining what Rem described. Suddenly he opened his eyes, looked startled, and looked down at his body. His surprised expression transitioned through shock to mild alarm.

Rem saw where he was looking, and had to work hard to avoid giggling. Poor fellow! That must be embarrassing.

Vash pulled his knees together, scratched at the back of his neck, and said, "I think I need the restroom. I'll be back."

He went through Shyla's room to the attached restroom, and closed the door.

He stayed in there until Shyla had finished the dishes. When he came out, he dug into his duffel and pulled out a wrap. It was a cool and windy day, so if he meant to go out then he'd want that extra layer for warmth.

"Where are you going?" Shyla asked, unaware of what had happened.

"I haven't had a check-up for awhile," he said. "I think I'll see if any of the doctors has time for me. I'll be back later." He smiled and waved, and was out the door before either of them could say a word.

Had it been Rem's imagination, or was his complexion pinker than usual? Her amusement turned to sympathy.

"He seems confused," Shyla said, sounding concerned. "Do you know what might have caused that?"

Rem suspected that she knew exactly why he felt confused. However, it should be Vash's decision how much he wanted Shyla to know.

"I couldn't say," she said. Rem knew better than to try lying to Shyla, but that evasion should work since it was truthful. She didn't think she should say.

"I hope he'll be all right," Shyla said, looking toward the direction he'd gone.

"I'm sure he will be," Rem said fondly. He might be embarrassed by his reaction, but males had been dealing with that forever. He would be fine, in time.

Vash returned, deep in thought, at lunchtime. He greeted both with hugs, but was too distracted while eating to keep up his part of the conversation.

Shyla must have sent him a thought message, because he looked up at her and shook his head. "I just need to figure something out, that's all," he said. He tried smiling, but the smile failed to reach his troubled eyes. "I'll be fine. Go ahead and take your usual shift at the infirmary."

"Okay," she said. She stood, leaned over and hugged him, then retrieved her own wrap and threw it around herself. "I'll be back to cook dinner."

"Have a good shift," Rem said.

Vash waved, and Shyla walked away.

As soon as she was out of sight, he rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.

"Vash," Rem said softly. "I saw what happened this morning. Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

"She's a child, Rem," he said softly. There was anguish in his voice. "She looks like a young woman, but she's only a child. I was only a child, until a few months ago. I can't be reacting like that around her."

"What do you mean?" Rem asked. It was her turn to feel confused.

"The doctor said it's the other half of adolescence," Vash replied. "The mating instincts, they're waking up in my body. I never had any of those until a few months ago, when I caught myself noticing a pretty girl who resembled Shyla."

Oh dear, Rem thought. Was that the first time he'd ever...? Small wonder he'd looked shocked!

"Oh, I'd seen pretty girls before," he said dismissively, before she could respond. He made a throwing away gesture with one hand. "I've also seen beautiful sunsets, or aesthetically appealing cloud formations. Until about three months ago, I had the same reaction to all three. I just enjoyed the view."

"But now, if it's a pretty blonde girl," he continued, "I get these strange tickles and sometimes my whole skin feels weird. And then there was this morning..." Without looking up, he shook his head.

"How old are you now?" Rem asked.

"Two hundred and three," he said. "One of the doctors said this change might be coming on earlier than would be usual for an independent Plant, since my hair's already gone black."

Rem kicked herself internally for wanting grandchildren. If the change was distressing him this much, it wasn't worth it.

He had a point about the black hair, however. Plants could live a very long time, possibly even forever. In the case of Plants in orbs, they would continue to expend Plant energy. That meant that a Plant with black hair would be nearing the end of his or her life.

In Vash's case, he was content to live as a human without using any special Plant abilities. This meant that he could possibly continue to live indefinitely, provided he didn't attempt anything that an ordinary human couldn't do.

"I'm sure you will find the best way to handle this," Rem said gently.

"I will have to," he said bleakly.

Rem laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.

He lifted his head and placed his hand over hers. He tried to smile, but again it failed to reach his eyes.

"I need to go," he said. "If that happens again, and Shyla senses it..." he shook his head.

"Surely it wouldn't be that bad," Rem said. "She's a very understanding sort of girl."

"It could upset or disgust her," he said. He sounded ashamed. "Or there is another possibility that could be even more damaging. I don't want any of those things. I need to go, now, before anything like this happens again."

"Is there no other way?" Rem asked. "You've only just arrived."

"I can think of no better way," Vash replied. "Please give Shyla my love and apologies."

He stood, went into Shyla's room, retrieved his duffel, put his wrap back on, and paused by the door with his hand on the handle.

"I knew this type of thing happened to others," he said softly. "Plants in bulbs reproduce asexually. There isn't enough known about Independents to be sure of what 'usually' happens with us. Since nothing like this had ever happened to me, I thought that it never would."

He shook his head and sighed. "It's one thing to look male, to have that physical configuration," he continued. "It's another thing to feel it, like this. I'll stay away until I have learned how to control myself better. You may have a very long nap ahead of you."

When he finished speaking, he was out the door with a wave and another sad smile before Rem could think of a word to say.

She wanted to run after him and try to comfort him. However, remembering other young men she'd known, she knew that he might be hypersensitive to any touch right now. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel worse. She sighed.

She washed the dishes from lunch, and then went to the infirmary and found Shyla.

"Something came up, Shyla," she said, and then winced internally at the unintended precision of those words. "Vash felt he needed to go take care of some things. He asked me to let you know that he's sorry, and to give you his love."

Shyla nodded, looking sad. "I know something is troubling him. Sometimes he isolates himself to figure things out, even though we'd be willing to help."

Rem hugged her. She wasn't so sure they could help him with this. "Shall we put me back to sleep now, so we don't interrupt your shift or require extra time from anyone?"

Shyla responded with a smile that didn't fully reach her eyes. "Of course," she said.

Rem hugged her again, and they walked toward the cryo area together.