Thanks for the reviews will not make you wait long for this chapter, only give you some answers and more questions but more coming along the way
If you want updates go to my twitter page igothookedonbensidy suzywinn (name could change again) and I will try to let you know on there.
If you like it please review it
OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo
Pushing Cassidy away from her hard "what are you doing Brian, What are you trying to do to me"
Rubbing her hands over her face what was he trying to do "things change can't you get that into your head" turning away from him she can't think "how dare you come in here and ask me to marry you now" her voice rising into anger "its too late, get out get out now"
Pushing him to the front door closing the door behind him leaning against the door trying to control her breathing what was he trying to do to her she was moving on with her life a life without Brian in it her eyes moving around the apartment why was he doing it why now this is what she wanted for so long why did he have to come and ruin everything why was it part of her wanted to say yes to give them another chance.
Falling down against the door on the floor putting her head in her hands what was he trying to do to her did he actually mean any of it or was it all the alcohol talking.
Looking at the door shut behind him holding the ring in his hand, he had it for ages he was going to find the right moment he knew they were out of sync but he had gotten it a while before hand but never got around to proposing to her did he really think she would say yes he didn't know but instead she slammed the door in his face and kicked him out. He had realized too late how much he loved her and that what he said to Munch was right he didn't want to think about her not in his life, she was the first woman he had truly fallen in love with and again he couldn't get her out of his head no matter how hard he tried. He wanted her back in his life he had kept the ring in the hope they would get back together but she had made it clear how she felt there was no hope.
Walking away he would speak to Tucker and go on the undercover assignment again he didn't care how dangerous any of it was anymore she had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want him in her life
OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo
She tried to get Brian out of her mind to focus on the future a life with Murphy pushing Cassidy to the back of her mind. She had packed up the remaining things not that there was much of Brian's and put them in a box in the garage sending him a text message if he wanted them where they were.
She had kept his visit to herself not telling anyone not Nick, especially not Declan what had happened, she had withdrawn slightly from Declan for a few days his words unnerving her the one thing she had wanted he was now offering her.
She was trying to forget all about Cassidy and move on with Declan they were still trying for a baby despite her misgivings over it all it was what she wanted and deep down she knew they would both be great parents and given a chance over time she probably would love him, she was just cautious and that was fine with her.
Things were progressing nicely between them she was pushing Brian out of her mind and succeeding keeping herself busy with work and spending time with Declan she knew he wanted her to move in with him but she wasn't ready not yet, not spending time at work together and this, she wasn't ready to give up her spot at SVU and she wasn't sure she was ready to lose someone in command if she wanted that responsibility again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo
Hanging up the phone his eyes moving out of the blinds to Olivia sitting at her desk her face etched in concentration could he tell her what he was just told knowing it could tear them apart, knowing that she could leave him go running back to him. Watching her through the blinds whatever way he went he knew he could lose her. By not telling her if she found out he knew she would leave him or never trust him again. He was falling in love with her and despite it all and her feelings for Cassidy he knew they were fading.
Could he do it risk losing her despite what she said he knew she would have to go, to be there for him it was who she was part of why he fell in love with her. They were finally working out as a couple starting to get serious. He had to put his position first over his feelings for her, he was told this did that mean he had to tell her.
Looking out at her she was so beautiful he couldn't let her go just yet he had to figure out what was more important Olivia or her job, either way he could lose her
He knew what he had to do even if it meant losing Olivia he knew what a huge part of honesty played with her, how much she tortured herself over the perjury of William Lewis at the trial the fact that he went on the rampage wanting her to apologise on national TV and whatever way it ended she would perjure herself again or go to jail. He couldn't do it to her he would rather risk losing her than not telling her this way he would know that she chose him over Cassidy and the hold he finally had on her was over.
Watching her through the window in the interrogation room he has to interrupt her, give her the chance to go to the hospital now. Knocking on the door and opening it "Sergeant a word"
Looking up from her perp, they had kept their relationship a secret for so long with only Nick finding out accidentally before making it public, walking to the door he looked serious, closing the door behind her "what's this about we were getting somewhere in there" her eyes upon him waiting to speak.
Seeing her look at him expectantly "Liv" knowing he had to continue "there is no easy way to tell you this, Cassidy was shot and bashed last night he is General Mercy Hospital"
Her mouth slightly open did she hear him right "shot, how why, is he going to be alright? This couldn't wait" was it serious that he had to take her out of the interview.
Looking at Olivia moving away slightly as much as she was trying to hide it he could see the worry there "he is in a critical condition they are not sure if he will make it"
Did she hear him right Cassidy thought he was invincible "what happened?"
Moving closer to her "he was working undercover, he was found this morning by the side of the road in a bad way, they are still investigating it, if he wakes up they will find out more, at the moment they are looking into it"
Nodding at Murphy "thanks for letting me know"
Looking at Olivia in surprise "want me to drive you to the hospital"
Shaking her head "I have to get back in there"
Watching Olivia walk back he was worried despite her not showing the reaction he expected he was worried she didn't show much, staying there watching her through the window.
Walking back into the room turning to Amaro "give me a minute with him" walking up to him her face close to him "you took her back to your apartment and raped her there" her voice rising "didn't you"
Walking out the door seeing Murphy standing there looking at him "what's going on here"
"wasn't it your call, she might get more out of him"
Watching Olivia closely should he be worried she got Amaro out of there his eyes not moving from the room.
Watching the smirk on his face moving his face closer to hers "prove it, you have nothing, otherwise you would of charged me by now"
Walking closer to him her face down to his wanting to wipe the smirk off his face hitting him over the head "you think I'm afraid of you"
His eyes on Olivia what was she doing, turning to Amaro "what was that, what is she doing?"
"trying to rile him up"
His eyes with worry not moving from her "she better rile herself down or I'm taking her out of there"
Moving closer to the guy squeezing his face "you held them at knife point"
his eyes not moving from Olivia's "I get it you like the perverts it turns you on"
Her anger coming out slamming his head on the table "My game, new rules you bastard, you raped them didn't you" pulling the chair out from under him her voice rising "didn't you"
Watching him fall to the floor "right just admit it"
Watching Olivia lose it from outside running inside with Amaro pulling her away "that's enough, get off him"
Feeling Murphys' arms on her pulling her away, moving his arm roughly off hers "get off me" storming out
Looking at Olivia he had never seen her like this, his face full of concern as he follows her out of the interrogation room "what was that?"
Turning to look at Declan her "we got a confession didn't we" going to walk away
Watching Olivia even if she was his girlfriend he was in charge of SVU "Sergeant, we're not finished yet" watching as she walked away not even turning to look at him.
Hearing her name called out she didn't want to speak to him feeling his hand on her arm turning to face him her voice with anger in it "get your hands off me"
Looking at Olivia he knew the reason for this but he couldn't risk the squad "Sergeant My office NOW"
Rolling her eyes walking towards his office "close the door Sergeant"
Looking at her, her face showing nothing her mouth in a straight line "Go home now Liv or go to the hospital"
Looking at Declan she didn't want to go home or to the hospital "I'm fine I think I'll stay here"
Walking closer to her "that is an order Sergeant, you either go home or to the hospital I don't want to see you back here today"
Her face stubborn looking at him "I'll be better here at work"
"it's not negotiable"
Her face showing nothing as she looks at him "and if I don't"
He hated doing this to her but he couldn't have her working here not now "I'll have to make it official and put a note on your file, I don't want to do that Sergeant"
His voice softening walking to the other side of his desk "please go to the hospital and see Brian or go home I can't have you working here, don't come back here until you are ready"
Looking at Murphy her mouth slightly open "I'll be back tomorrow" slamming the door as she walks out of the room.
Walking to her desk picking up her coat seeing Nick look at her "what was that about Liv"
Picking up her bag she didn't want to talk about it to Nick or anyone "I'll see you tomorrow"
Looking at her he was worried about his partner "I'm talking about before Liv, what's going on?"
She didn't want to say it admit it out aloud that Brian could die, or that she wanted to keep busy to do anything than go to the hospital and see him she wanted to work not go home or anywhere. She couldn't admit that Brian was lying in hospital and the last thing she said to him after her proposed was to kick him out, that maybe it was her that sent him undercover again.
Walking out to where Olivia is watching her anger there he knew she wanted to work but he had to think of the squad and do what is right by her, he hadn't seen this side of her he wanted to help her but he was in charge of the squad and her. He knew 1PP and IA were keeping a close watch on their relationship and he had to do it all by the book maybe he should of waited until the end of her shift. Watching as she picks up her stuff the anger or something there as things are thrown on her desk "Olivia, I'll drive you"
Shaking her head she didn't want anyone around her she wanted to be by herself, the last person at the moment she wanted to see was him "I'm fine, I don't need you to do that"
Looking at Olivia he wanted to put his hand on her arm something instead he does nothing "Liv, you're not fine you're in shock I'm driving you to the hospital"
Shaking her head she didn't want him or anyone around "I'm fine I don't need you or anyone to drive me home or anywhere"
Walking out of the room she didn't want her boyfriend around her deep down she knew it might happen one day him being in charge pulling rank on her she wanted to be here and work she knew better than him what she was able to do but here she was him sending her home or to the hospital to be with Brian. She didn't want anyone around her not Nick and definitely not Declan she didn't want to be by herself to think but she didn't want anyone asking questions.
Watching Olivia go to walk out followed by Lt Murphy, concern in their eyes the look on her face, the anger they all had mainly seen her calm and in control not this way something was wrong, she had lost it nearly before over Lewis something had happened. Looking at his partner "Liv, what's going on here"
Seeing the concern on the team's faces he knows he needs to tell them all "Cassidy was shot and bashed last night he's in a critical condition the doctors aren't sure if he will pull through"
She couldn't look at them see their faces she needed to get out of there despite not wanting to go to the hospital she had to she knew that he would be there for her if she was the one, she needed to know that he was going to be ok.
Looking at Olivia and Murphy "I'll take her to the hospital"
Shaking his head at Amaro "I'll take her, I'll let you know when we hear"
Walking out with them away from the team turning to Murphy "do you really think you're the right person to be with her now"
Looking at Amaro and back at Olivia he knew he meant well "Go back inside Nick, I'll look after her, she will be ok"
Did he really want him to say it "I know you mean well Lt Murphy but I don't think you should be with her, her and Cassidy …"
Arriving near the car "Nick, I know all about her and Cassidy and her relationship, she shouldn't be by herself"
"of course you do, but what about your relationship with Olivia, that you're her boyfriend but think of Olivia do you really think that you being there with her will help her, she went out with him for 2 years, lived with him for 6 months"
Moving around to the drivers side "that is the reason I am going to be there for her boyfriend or not she will need someone, there is nothing stopping you coming by later on, but do you think you're the right person considering what you thought of him"
Looking up at them both she wanted to be by herself she didn't want to speak to Murphy or explain anything to either of them "I don't need either of you taking me, I'll catch a cab"
Watching as she hops in a taxi there was a look on her face he hadn't seen before, worry shock but the anger was there, she was angry about something was it him. He wanted to be there for her he didn't want her to be by herself but she had made her decision and they both needed to respect it.
Oooooooooooooooo
Standing at the door looking at Brian the machines surrounding him, bringing back memories of when she first kissed him the moment she realized that she wanted more riding in the ambulance when the machines went off that they were losing him the fear she thought then was like she was now.
Walking over to the bed he looked so fragile should she really be here, she knew if it was her he would be there holding her hand talking to her blinking back the tears she couldn't lose him.
Holding his hand stroking it "you've got to pull through Bri" he just had to her hand moving up to his face moving along his forehead she still loved him they might of broken up and she had been fighting the feelings but seeing him here now fighting for his life he couldn't die.
Looking up as a nurse walks in "he is going to be alright and pull through?"
Fiddling with the tubes "he is in a critical condition, he lost a lot of blood before he came in, he has swelling on the brain, he had a ruptured spleen. The next few days are critical for the moment he is stable but he is not out of the woods and still in a very critical condition"
Was this her fault did she push him into going undercover again he came over drunk wanting her back and she pushed him away, if she gave him a chance would he have gone undercover.
She didn't know how long she had been there for until the nurse walks in "I'm sorry visiting hours are over now"
She couldn't leave him not until she knew he was going to be ok, he was the first guy she had fallen really fallen in love with, the first guy she had lived with he had been a huge part of her life for so long "can I stay a bit longer"
Shaking her head "I'm sorry I've let you stay longer than I should"
Letting go of his hand turning to look at him he looked so tiny against it all.
Walking outside the hospital she didn't want to go back to the apartment the reminder of Brian she had moved on until all of this happened. Hearing her name called out looking up "what are you doing here?"
He had to drive to the hospital he needed to be there for as long as she was, he was sure she was going to need someone, Fin and Amaro had come, fin left but Amaro was staying, he was a loyal partner to Olivia
There she was walking out her eyes down he could tell that she wasn't okay, far from it that she wasn't coping he was right to send her home, calling out her name "Liv" seeing her eyes look up in confusion
Moving over to her wrapping his arms around her pulling her closer to him "I didn't want you here by yourself"
Looking at Olivia she was shaking "Liv, are you ok, how is Cassidy"
Shaking her head at Nick "no"
Moving away from Declan looking at both of them unable to hide the tears in her eyes pressing "he, he is just lying there, all these machines how could someone just leave him there to die, do that to him"
Looking up at Murphy her weakness going "do they have any leads, know who did this"
Shaking his head "they think he might have been made" stroking her head "let me take you home"
Walking along with his arm around her shoulder "can we go back to your place?"
Nodding at her he understood not that she needed him but she didn't want to go back to the reminder that was their place
OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo
Will Brian pull through and is Murphy and Olivia's relationship strong enough to survive it all. What causes Olivia to be so upset