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Leaning against him on the couch his arms around her snuggled against him his hand running down her hand or stroking her face, was this her fault did she push him back into undercover she knew he enjoyed it was this her fault.

She might be lying next to him but he could tell she was far away, her thoughts were not with him he didn't have to guess where they were, it was a risk he knew when he told her.

Looking up at him she didn't want to sleep she wanted to forget what she saw forget that Brian could die her lips moving up to his as her arms wrap around his neck moving down onto her back pulling him down towards her, she didn't want to think.

Untangling her arms from around his neck "Liv, this isn't what you need tonight"

Looking up into his eyes her lips moving up towards hers "That's where you're wrong" her lips meeting his pulling his mouth towards hers the kissing intensifying as she pulls his body down towards her as she lies on the lounge.

Lying against Declan his arms around her waist her eyes moving around the room she managed to forget about Brian for the night it was what she needed they had sex like that before she just wanted more and more now here it was morning and she had to think again she had to face reality.

Feeling Olivia move away from his arms the previous night was amazing despite his concerns he gave into her she was persistent and she knew how to get him aroused, seeing her sitting up on the bed checking her phone "go to the hospital Liv, have the day off"

Getting up out of bed "I'm fine, I need to work"

Watching as she starts to get dressed "okay but if your mind isn't on the job I will be sending you home, no questions asked" walking around to her kissing the top of her head "I need you focused and you"

Nodding at him tightening her belt "understood" before walking over to kiss him "I'll see you at work"

Watching her walk out calling out to her "Liv, give me a minute and I'll drive you"

Shaking her head "it's fine, I want to walk, I'll see you tonight"

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Walking into the room seeing someone in the chair a small smile on her face "hello Evelyn"

Nodding up at Olivia she wondered if she would come "I'm sorry I will come back later"

Shaking her head she liked Olivia she had brought something out in Brian something that she wondered if he would ever find, he moved in with someone and had a commitment with her she was the first girlfriend he was serious with the first one that he really loved "stay Liv, I'm sure Brian would want you too"

Looking up at Evelyn "but we…. I'll leave"

Looking up at her she could tell she was worried and upset she knew they had broken up Brian had stayed with her a few nights before finding somewhere else to stay, she had met her many times before at family lunches/dinners "Olivia I know you and Brian have broken up but you're here now and you were a huge part of his life for a long while"

Watching as Olivia walks over to the other chair her eyes looking up at her the worry in them "any news on how he is? Any improvement?"

Shaking her head sadly "they will keep him in a coma for a few more days for the swelling on his brain to go down, his signs are stable but until the swelling goes down they won't know if there is any brain damage or brain activity there is"

Her eyes down blinking away the tears that are forming "I never meant for this to happen"

Looking up at Olivia she could tell that she still cared for her son deeply "this is not your fault Olivia whoever did this to him is the one who is at fault leaving him there to die. I wished he hadn't gone back to doing undercover work again I know he loved it but this assignment he knew was dangerous"

Nodding her eyes down she did blame herself "we had an argument the other day I felt like it was me who sent him there" looking up at his mother "I loved you son so much Evelyn I really wished things had worked out between us. I never thought things would get to the stage they would"

A sympathetic smile on her face "you were the first woman that Brian fell totally in love with, I have never heard him talk about someone like he did about you he loved you so much Olivia I wish you had worked things out as he was lost without you, he was a different person when you were in his life"

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Knocking on the door of Murphy's apartment her key somewhere in the bag she had stayed at the hospital with Evelyn until she had to leave she was going back to wonder what things could have been like or what could have been it was too dangerous.

Surprise on his face as he opens the door "Liv"

"is it okay if I stay here tonight"

Nodding at his girlfriend "you don't need to ask I could of picked you up from the hospital"

Walking over to the fridge getting out the bottle of wine kept there, pouring herself a glass before topping it up again walking over to the lounge sitting next to him curling her knees up lying against him "have they found out anything about who did this to Brian?"

Shaking his head "It's still ongoing where his body was dumped there is no CCTV footage they are still going through everything. How's Cassidy doing? Any improvement in his condition"

Her arms draped across his chest "he is stable still, and still in a coma giving his brain a rest for the swelling to go down"

His hand stroking her arm as his head is pressed against hers "it seems we've hardly seen each other lately"

Her hand moving up to his chin stroking his cheek "I'm here now" before wrapping her arms around his neck, she didn't want to think she wanted to forget everything her mouth moving along to his ears nibbling his ears her hands under his shirt.

His eyes moving down to his girlfriend he wanted to be with her but the past two weeks it was like she only came over when she wanted to have sex with him, they hardly spoke on the phone, at work she was distant moving his mouth away from hers seeing the confusion in her eyes "I'm not sure this is what you need at the moment"

Shaking her head she didn't want to sleep "no what I need to do is have sex with my boyfriend, wild passionate sex that lasts all night" pulling his top up and over his head exposing his bare chest her hands and mouth moving around it before moving further down.

Her hands fiddling with the zipper and belt before pulling them down her eyes looking up at him before her mouth encases his cock.

Watching as he walks into the kitchen, she wanted to have sex with him fast and furious without feeling anything her eyes not moving from his as she takes her top off moving closer to him undoing the zipper on her pants watching as they slowly fall to the ground.

She could feel his eyes upon her as she walks over to him her arms wrapping around his waist her mouth nibble his ears.

Feeling his arms move around her, his mouth responding to her kisses, picking her up and putting her on the bench it is exactly what she wanted he was inside of her, turning around a while later her hands gripping the bench she could feel him thrusting faster and faster she didn't want to sleep she just wanted to be fucked all night.

Rolling over onto his side they had yet to get to sleep or even try, it was like she was on drugs or something all she wanted was to have sex rolling over to get her breath back and breathing under control before she was at it again.

"Liv you need to get some sleep, you can't go on like this you are going to wear out, you're spending all your time at work and the hospital"

Shaking her head "I can't sleep" she didn't want to sleep to have the image of Brian in her mind her rock during the aftermath of Lewis.

"Liv, I need some sleep we have work tomorrow"

Resting on her elbows "you'll still get some sleep Dec, I just want to have sex with you make love to my boyfriend"

Pushing her away gently "Liv at the moment you don't want a relationship you want a rent a root"

Looking at him slightly confused the anger there "What, where is this coming from, of course I want a relationship with you, do you think I'd be here otherwise"

Sitting up in bed "I think at the moment you just want sex and nothing else, the only time you come over is when you want to have sex, you don't call me, I understand you are spending a lot of time at the hospital Liv but what about us, the only time I get to see you is when you come over late at night, mostly then you don't want to talk but just want a fuck"

Watching her get out of the bed picking up her clothes "what are you doing Liv, where are you going?"

Her clothes in her hand walking out into the lounge room she couldn't trust herself to speak she was hurt and angry she couldn't open up to him about Brian, she wanted to be with him, she wanted to forget what happened the fact that she blamed herself for Brian being in this situation. She felt safe and secure here with him.

Walking out into the lounge watching as Olivia is nearly dressed "Liv, don't go I'm sorry but it seems each time you come over you don't want to talk just to have sex, I'm tired, I've missed you. Just come back to bed"

Pulling on her shoes turning to face him "I'll see you at work tomorrow"

Walking over to her touching her arm "Liv"

Flinging off his hand "don't touch me"

Turning at the door to face him "I do want a relationship with you it was more than just sex I wanted to be close to you I wanted to make love to you to be with you"

Watching the door slam shut all he can do is stare, how did it get to this he shouldn't of said anything, he knew she wasn't herself that Cassidy being shot and bashed affected her more than she would admit. Standing in his lounge room he did the hardest thing he let her leave he wanted to go after her but he knew it would only probably make matters worse. Walking back into the bedroom picking up his mobile phone "Liv I'm sorry please let me know you've gotten home safely I'll see you tomorrow Dec"

Opening the door to her apartment her eyes moving around even though all of Brian's stuff was gone the memories where still there when they first moved in together, the unpacking of the boxes finding places for everything, looking for some furniture to go in the apartment.

Opening the fridge it was empty nothing like it was at one stage with food in the fridge taking the bottle of wine over to the lounge she can't sleep putting her feet up on the lounge turning on the TV pouring herself one glass of wine after the other.

Looking at her phone the message from Declan he didn't even bother to come after her, he let her just leave despite it all she knew he would be worried typing the two words "I'm home"

Hearing his phone beep Liv popping up on the screen opening the message the message was brief and straight to the point, had he ruined the best thing that had happened to him, he had no idea why he said that to her in the heat of the moment that one sentence seems like had ruined the relationship, he knew it wasn't only that it was Brian Cassidy he felt threatened and jealous by the amount of time Olivia was spending with him, even if she did come back to his place some nights it wasn't intimacy she wanted it was only the sex. In the 10 months they had been going out, she had never really opened up to him she kept a lot of things to herself, she had been through a lot the past 18 months. He wanted to be with her, he loved her and nothing was going to change that his only hope was that once Cassidy started to recover that maybe they could put all of this behind them

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

Hurrying into SVU her Sergeant Olivia Benson was late for work, she had slept through her alarm it wasn't until her phone was ringing that she woke up. When she fell asleep she had no idea the empty bottles of wine surrounding the lounge gave her an idea it wasn't until late. The sunnies unable to hide her eyes the dark circles around them. The memories of the night before coming back to her as she hurried to work, the messages left on her voice mail by Nick and Lt Murphy both wondering where she was or if she was okay.

Seeing Nick look up at her as she puts her sunnies in her bag "you ok Liv"

Nodding walking over to the coffee machine rubbing her eyes coffee would help her. Seeing nick's eyes upon her as she sits down at her desk the worry in them "I'm fine Nick"

She wasn't fine her eyes were tired "How's Cassidy doing?"

Rubbing her hand through her hair "still in a coma, no change the swelling is going down though and the internal injuries are healing but it is still a waiting game to see maybe then we will get some answers as to who did this to him"

"with head injuries though he might not remember Liv"

Glaring at Nick "someone knows something"

Nodding at her "yeah but they are all too scared to talk and with no evidence, no CCTV or anything it's taking a while, there was so much blood there Liv that it is hard to see if it was all from Cassidy or not. I want to catch the bastards who did this too him too IA isn't giving too much away"

Getting up off the chair "We will just have to find out as much as we can ourselves someone out there knows something and I am going to find out who"

He had waited for Olivia to come in all morning, his text message and phone call unanswered he was starting to get worried before he saw her walk in, opening the door "Sergeant a word"

Looking up at Declan she didn't want to talk to him now she knew they had to talk but not at the moment "we've got a job come in, I'll talk to you later"

Watching her grab her jacket as Nick follows her out, he can't blame her for being mad at him still they needed to talk and probably later he wanted to say he was sorry he stuffed things up.

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I have the final chapters written or might continue it.

Will Cassidy wake up and what happens if he does

Will Olivia forgive Murphy or walk away from the relationship