Thank you for the reviews, I am a huge Bensidy fan and even though I tried to write Olivia with someone else I couldn't her and Brian belong together even though I think her and Murphy would be good, just couldn't do it
This is probably the last chapter it is longer than I thought as I added Bensidy to it, she was originally choosing Declan over Brian and Brian was out of her life but who knows Battle Creek could fail (not that I wish Dean bad luck)
Hope you enjoy this and thank you all who reviewed it.
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Walking around the apartment a smile on her face Brian was being discharged the following day, she would love him to come back here but they needed to take it slowly she had to earn his trust back, she knew he was hesitant as he didn't want to get hurt by her again and she had pushed him away too many times.
Taking a final look around all of Declan's things in a box was this what their relationship mounted too, he had a few things there and she had a few things at his place, she wanted to start with Brian with a clean slate no evidence of her previous relationship, she had put the photo back up of the two of them together.
Knocking on the door would he be home, maybe she should of called before just coming around unannounced.
Seeing Olivia at the door her hair swept back in a pony tail, seeing her standing in front of him the nervousness in her eyes the smile on her face, that smile that always got to him "do you want to come in"
Nodding at Declan she was nervous he had tried to give her everything she had wanted and she threw it all back at him by getting back with Brian he had taken her away to places she had never been, whisked her away for weekends , her birthday yet it wasn't enough for her she just wasn't in love with him, she tried to make it work and thought that she had chosen him but her love for Brian was too strong she couldn't put the feelings behind her.
Putting the box on the table "I thought you might want these things back"
He knew what they were, she was taking all of his things out of her place, he knew what it meant and it still hurt "you could of thrown them away Liv"
Shaking her head "I couldn't do that"
Biting her lip she used to feel so at home here, lying on the lounge cuddled up to him "I'll see you at work"
Nodding was this how it was going to be between them now, the awkwardness there "Liv" watching as she turned around "did you want a coffee or glass of wine?"
"I'm sorry Declan, I have to go, I have to get…"
Nodding "to the hospital"
Nodding at him with the apologetic look on her face "sorry, visiting hours finish soon"
"how is Cassidy going?"
Trying to stop the smile on her face "he is hopefully coming home tomorrow, he has passed the CT scan for the time being he is being released tomorrow sometime"
That word home, was he coming home to their apartment even with his things gone his presence was always there, was he moving back in with her, he had wanted that for the past six months for her to move in with him, especially once they started trying for her to become pregnant. He had his pride he couldn't ask as much as he wanted to know.
Walking to the door, pausing holding the handle turning around to face him "I really am sorry Declan for the way things turned out. I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. I thought I was over Brian and had moved on, I never expected to fall in love with him again"
His eyes meeting hers "I think you have to stop kidding yourself Olivia, I don't think you ever stopped loving him and I can't say I am surprised that you have gone back to him. I wish things had worked out differently between us as I loved you"
Walking over to Declan her hand on his cheek her mouth moving over kissing him softly on the cheek "I know"
Turning at the door to face him "I don't want you to hear this from anyone else, Brian will be moving back into the apartment not straight away but shortly"
Walking away she saw the look on his face he was hurt she couldn't move in with him yet here she was moving back in with her ex boyfriend straight away, she didn't even need to think about it she knew it was what she wanted.
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She had left work early in the afternoon the crisp late autumn breeze blowing the leaves around, nothing was going to stop her good mood as she hurried to the hospital, Brian was getting out today and they were going to start their new life together. She had hoped that he was going to move in with her again but she understood she had to regain his trust again and to prove that she wasn't going to hurt him that she wanted him in her life that she never stopped loving him.
Seeing him sitting up on the bed walking over to him "ready to go"
Nodding at her "I've been ready for the past 4 hours"
Picking up his bags "do you want to go to a hotel, your mum's or our apartment"
Moving over to her, his arms wrapping around her "this feels good" tilting her head up towards him "our apartment sounds wonderful Liv, but I want our first time back to be special and I need someone around for the next 2 weeks"
Stroking his cheek her fingers outlining his mouth "your mum's it is"
His mouth moving down to hers the kiss soft and gentle moving away before he loses himself in her "you do know your welcome there any time, she has a soft spot for you"
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Watching Evelyn walk off to bed moving closer to Brian his arms around her shoulder the other hand moving up and down her arm looking up at him he was deep in thought "what's the matter Brian?"
His eyes moving down to her "Liv, there is something I need to tell you"
Her eyes widening looking up at him "ok" she was starting to get worried
"when Tucker offered me the UC job, I took it without thinking I needed to get as far away from you as possible and this was it. I was in a bad place when I left Liv. I was working for this guy Arthur Gonzarleous he was a real piece of work"
Seeing her eyes not moving from his "I wasn't shot and bashed because my cover was blown, Tucker is going to find that out" his eyes down it was hard to say it and he knew he was going to have to pay the price "there was this woman there Samantha , Sam she was blonde, young she was throwing herself at me at first I refused but the memories of you kept coming back I had stuffed things up between us I wanted you and you had moved on"
Her eyes moving away slightly before focusing on him again she knew what was coming "go on"
He hated hurting her like this "I knew it shouldn't especially after Carissa and I had been given my shield back but I couldn't of cared, unlike Carissa where we were involved this meant nothing, I started sleeping with her I told her she deserved better than Arthur and deserved someone who treated her nicely and with respect, she went to Gonzarleous and told him that she was leaving him and had been sleeping with me and she didn't want to be with him anymore. I didn't want a relationship with her, shit I was using her to try to forget and hoped that with this operation in a year or so that it would take that I could forget the stuff ups I made with you"
Looking up at Olivia seeing her eyes still on him unable to read what she is thinking "I stuffed up big time here Liv, I don't want you to hear about this from anyone else. I know I will lose my shield and probably get worse than nights at the Bronx, might lose my pension and everything, it was stupid plain stupid. Once Tucker finds out why and who I can kiss my career goodbye"
Wanting to reach out and hold her hand "I don't want to lose you Liv over this, but if you want out now I understand and I'm sorry"
Looking at Brian she could see tears forming in her eyes she had never really seen him cry or anything before, there were so many thing she wanted to say how stupid he was, how could he do this, what was he thinking instead she reaches out for his hand "we'll work through this together, we both did some stupid things, some more than others I had a relationship with someone else and slept with Declan, you with someone else"
Her hand going up to his face touching the tears before moving down "I believe you and we both were hurt. We need to find a way to move past it and deal with Tucker together"
His eyes not moving from her the love in his eyes "I don't deserve you babe, I know Tucker will find out"
Reaching out touching his face "when he does we will deal with it together, I'm not going anywhere Bri, I love you"
Pulling her towards him kissing the top of her head "I love you too babe, so much"
Looking up at him she had missed him so much in the eighteen months they had been separated moving her lips up to his feeling his mouth against hers as their tongues meet feeling her hands cupping his face, he had missed so much about her.
Moving his mouth slightly away from her "Shit Liv I want you so badly"
Pulling away a short time later before it went any further, her head resting against his shoulder "I should go home"
Stroking her hair "stay here babe just lie next to me in each other's arms I just want to feel your naked body next to mine. It will take all my self control not to devour you, but doctors orders but I just want to wrap my arms around you"
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Walking back into SVU the end of a long day, she was meeting Brian for dinner if she ever got out of there.
He had been waiting for Olivia to get back to the office he wanted to tell her first before telling the whole squad "Sergeant a word"
She hadn't told anyone they had broken up but she was sure they had guessed or something had happened, closing the door behind her waiting for him to speak her eyes moving around his office it looked barer
Putting the box on the desk "Liv, I'm going back undercover, I have been offered a job. At the moment I am still captain here and I have suggested you take over again as acting CO until they get a replacement"
Her eyes wide open "I'll miss you Declan it was nice having someone else in charge, I'm not sure I want that responsibility again at the moment"
Looking up at her "Don't make any rash decisions Sergeant, think about it"
Walking over to him kissing him on the cheek "Take care Dec"
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It had taken a few weeks but finally he had been given the all clear by the doctors, tonight was the night to celebrate she wanted it to be special, she wasn't the best cook but she tried a simple meal a roast dinner, roast lamb, baked potatoes, pumpkin, sweet potato and for dessert, would they even make it to dessert.
They had spent the past 3 weeks going on dates, having dinner with Evelyn but importantly talking about them and a future. Slowly mending what had happened between them, Brian willing to give her another chance she knew she had hurt him a lot but slowly they were rebuilding what they had, taking it slowly giving the relationship a chance, this was going to be the first time that he had come over to the apartment and stayed the night, the first of many and hopefully soon he would move back in.
The table was laid out a table cloth on it, with 2 candles, the lights would be dimmed it was going to be perfect their first night together in the apartment.
The door opening his eyes moving down the black slinky dress on her, exposing her bare back his eyes lighting up he couldn't wait to undress her leaning in to kiss her feeling her pull away "that's dessert babe, we have the main meal first"
Walking inside it had been a while since he had been here his eyes moving around, seeing the photos of them back up on the bookshelf "you've put the photos back up"
Calling out to him "I couldn't throw them away, I tried to but put them downstairs in the garage instead"
Walking into the kitchen the smell coming from the oven making him hungry pulling her hair away from the back of her neck his mouth moving down her neck nibbling her.
Turning away playfully swatting him "dessert later, stop trying to distract me it's working, there are beers in the fridge, or red wine"
Sitting opposite her finishing the last of the meal "that was delicious Liv, I didn't think you could cook that well"
Raising her eyes at him "I just liked seeing you cook, or takeout was easier but special occasions I do cook"
Taking the plates off the table seeing Brian follow her into the kitchen she hadn't been happier in such a long time, she was with the man she really loved and never stopped turning around seeing him close to her "ready for dessert?"
His eyes looking at her hungrily nodding his head "I would of started with dessert"
Her hands on his chest moving down to his belt watching as his pants fall to the ground, pulling down his boxers as her hands move to his cock sliding her hand up and down before kneeling to the ground.
Her eyes looking up at his before moving it over to her mouth, as her mouth encases it her tongue moving around it. Her hands moving up massaging his testicles before moving back down. Her mouth moving up and down she can feel him becoming harder and harder
His hand running through gripping her hair this wasn't the dessert that he expected the feel of her mouth on his cock he could feel himself coming wanting to move inside her mouth.
Moving his cock slightly away from her mouth her hands moving up and down she could feel the squirt coming out rubbing her mouth as her hands and tongue move up his body finding their way to his mouth.
Lifting Liv off the ground her feet curled around his waist, making the way to their bedroom putting her down on the bed seeing the hunger in her eyes as her arms wrap around his neck moving his mouth down to hers feeling her body arched, he wants to be inside of her.
Moving her mouth away from his slightly getting lost in the moment touching his cheek "Bri, you'll need to use protection"
Seeing him looking at her biting her lip "I've been off the pill for a while and only really gone back on it"
Looking down into her gorgeous brown eyes even the reminder of what had gone wrong between them couldn't dampen his love for her "what if I don't use a condom Liv, would it be so bad if you did become pregnant, I know you want a baby and a family and it is what I want too with you. We still have things to work out between us but what if we do start trying to become pregnant?"
Her eyes wide open "are you sure Brian we've only just gotten back together"
His lips moving closer to hers "never been surer of anything I am never letting you go again Liv, I don't want to imagine you not in my life again, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we have things to work out but we are here together again, I want to move back in with you, to have a life with you and to have a family with you Liv"
Moving her lips up to his, her mouth answering him as she pulls him down towards her feeling him enter inside of her this time she had no doubts she did want a family with the man she loved and had never stopped loving.
Rolling over onto his side his hand stroking her face he would never get sick of looking at her "Liv, Marry me I meant what I said earlier I want to have a life with you and spend the rest of my life with you, I want to marry you I love you and always have"
Her eyes not moving from his face a smile appearing "yes, yes I will marry you"
Feeling his lips upon hers and his tongue moves around her mouth, their tongues meeting, this time she had never been surer of what she wanted she didn't have to think if she was in love with him she knew she was, she knew she wanted to try to have a baby with him and that she had never stopped loving him.
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This could be the last chapter not sure yet, let me know if you want more as I am considering a few more chapters but thought this was a good place to finish it.
Thank you for your support it was going to be shorter and Olivia ending up with Murphy but I just couldn't do it too many Bensidy things on twitter that made me miss them and want them together.
Thank you to everyone who read it and especially those who added it as a favourite and/or reviewed it. It was great to know that people liked the story.
Thought it was a way they could bring Cassidy back, as I believe he is her true love, the first guy she was truly and madly in love with.