Hi guys, sorry for the delay; I'm currently in the middle of my exams so haven't had a lot of time to write- forgive me! So, on with the show I guess!
Chapter 8: Pain and Anger
Bobby, Sam and Dean only caught up with Kerry when they returned to Bobby's house. Ellen had gone a separate direction to find Jo, determined to rebuild the roadhouse, leaving them with the message for Kerry to visit soon. Bobby raised an eyebrow at the haphazard parking Kerry had done with her Mustang.
"Boy, she's pissed." He muttered under his breath as he knew that normally she parked with precision.
As they entered the house, Jackson greeted them, his tail wagging as usual in happiness. Bobby smiled and listened out; the house was silent. Slightly worried, he walked up to Kerry's newly refurbished room and cracked the door open, smiling to see her sprawled across the bed, fast asleep. Closing the door, he headed back down the stairs and offered the brothers beers.
"She's asleep." He said, answering the unasked question.
He watched Dean instantly relax and fought to smirk, knowing that the younger man was much more protective of his daughter than he was even aware of himself. Sam smiled and gulped half his beer down in one go. Dean raised an eyebrow and Sam frowned.
"I just found out I died and my brother made a deal to get me back; I think I deserve a drink." He argued.
Dean shrugged, silently agreeing. He thought back to Kerry's reaction to the news and his heart tugged at the pure anguish on her face, followed by her remark that he was pathetic. Bobby saw the sadness that clouded the older Winchester's eyes and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Whatever Kerry said or did, you gotta understand that she's gonna be hurting. Finding out Sam died would have been bad enough but if I know my kid, knowing you're going to die is going to be tearing her up right now."
Dean nodded and put his unopened beer bottle on the table.
"I'm heading to bed; it's been a long few days."
Sam and Bobby both bade him goodnight and he left them in the kitchen, heading up to the spare room. As he passed Kerry's room, he couldn't resist looking in at her and when he looked closer, he could see that though she was sleeping peacefully now, there were tear streaks on her face. Guilt filled him and he closed the door again, confused as to why she seemed more upset about him dying than she had Sam.
The next morning, Kerry woke to a quiet house. After a quick sweep, she saw that both Sam and Bobby were out and Dean was sleeping. Shrugging, she moved downstairs and walked to her car, parking it in a more orderly fashion then emptying out her bag and the garbage she'd collected on her last hunt. When she went back upstairs to put her bag in her room, she stopped in the hallway when she saw the bathroom door open, Dean standing there with only a towel wrapped round his waist. Swallowing, she trailed her eyes up his sculpted albeit scarred chest, along his toned arms and up to his face…only to find a pair of bright green eyes staring back at her. Blushing, she dropped her gaze and hurried into her room, cursing internally at herself for being caught. After a few moments there was a knock and Dean came in, this time fully clothed. Kerry watched as he shut the door behind him and sat on the end of her bed.
"I wanted to talk to you about this deal" he started.
Kerry sat down on her window seat, unable to force herself to look at him. Taking her silence as a sign she was listening, he continued.
"I know it was pathetic and stupid of me, but I just couldn't lose Sammy. He's the only family I have left and the thought of being without him scared me more than I would like to admit. I get that you're angry with me right now, but it's right now that I need you the most to help me get through this and most importantly, to help Sam cope with his grief when I'm gone."
Kerry felt fresh tears roll down her cheeks at his words, but made no move to stop them.
"Wait, you sound like you're dying soon. How long do you have?" she whispered.
"A year" he replied.
It felt like a hand slammed into her gut as more tears fell. After a few seconds she finally looked at him and his heart nearly broke at the sorrow that dulled her eyes.
"But what about us, Dean? I get that Sam's going to need us but in all honesty, I'm going to need your strength to get me through and it's the one thing I won't have. I get that you couldn't live without Sam but haven't you worked it out yet that you are mine and dad's family too? Did you stop to think that you're all Sam has and that by taking this deal, he'll be the one left without you? Honestly, it was selfish of you and I've never been more angry with you, but I'm still going to be here for you no matter what because we've always been there, us Singer's, and that's not about to change, okay?"
Dean held her gaze and as her eyes hardened with determination, he had to look away. Suddenly, Kerry lunged forward and threw herself into his arms, burying her head into his chest as she began to sob. Reacting purely on instinct, he wrapped his arms round her shoulders and drew her closer to him, rubbing soothingly up her back.
"You're such a jerk!" she choked out between sobs.
He didn't respond, simply continued to hold her. When she pulled away, she punched him in the shoulder hard enough for him to yell.
"Damnit, what is it with you hitting me!"
Kerry couldn't help but giggle as she wiped the last of her tears away. Dean watched her and as a ray of light cracked through the clouds and lit up the room, he had to smile as the light turned her pale blonde hair to a golden hue, her eyes returning to a bright, sparkling sapphire blue.
"What?" she asked at the look on his face.
Shaking his head, he stood.
"Nothing. Now, I'm in the mood to head to a bar and play some pool while chugging a few beers. I'll see you later okay?" he answered, relieved that things seemed to be okay between them once more.
It was as he left that Kerry moaned, suddenly registering the pain she'd caused in her broken ribs by throwing herself onto him like that.
When Bobby and Sam returned home that afternoon, it was to find Kerry sitting on the floor with a pile of books next to her, five lying open around where she was seated.
"Whoa. D'you have enough reading material there?" Bobby asked in amusement.
Kerry glanced up at him for less than a second before she returned to the books.
"Probably not. I'm getting a few ideas down for how we can try and get Dean out of this dumb deal. What kind of demon only gives someone a year to live anyway?" she complained.
Bobby chuckled, glad that she'd cheered up since the night before and also glad to see she was already looking for ways to help Dean. As he moved to the kitchen, Kerry spoke again.
"By the way, is Ellen still around, or did she head back to the roadhouse?" she asked.
Bobby froze, having completely forgotten that his daughter had no clue about Ash and the fire. He moved back into the room and sat on the chair directly in front of Kerry. She looked up at him and frowned at the look on his face.
"Dad? Is everything okay?" she asked.
Bobby shook his head.
"The roadhouse doesn't exist anymore. Ash found some information for us about something and when we got there to find out what it was, the building was burnt to the ground. Ash was in there."
Kerry's eyes widened and she gasped.
"God, poor Ellen. And I can't believe Ash is gone! Damn, he owed me fifty dollars too."
Bobby shook his head in wander at the complete change in his kid before leaving her to her research. Kerry stared blankly at the books for a few moments, then stood and walked into the kitchen. Bobby and Sam were sitting at the table and both watched silently as she moved to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and three shot glasses. She filled them all and lined them up on the counter before lifting the first into the air.
"Here's to you Ashy-boy" she cheered and quickly sank back all three shots.
Not pausing, she refilled them and repeated her actions. She shuddered as she slammed the last glass onto the counter and turned to face the two men, Sam who was looking at her in amusement, Bobby in horror. She shrugged.
"This was our thing. Since turning 21, every time I visited, he challenged me to shoot 3 whiskeys and 3 tequilas and if I could still walk in a straight line after, he'd pay me fifty dollars. The last time I was there, I won the challenge but he didn't have the money. This was the only thing I could think of doing for him and as we have no tequila, I doubled up on the whiskey."
Both Bobby and Sam laughed and Sam stood, taking the bottle off her where he too followed suit in taking the shots, his face scrunching in distaste as he did so. Bobby then too copied them. When they finished, Kerry smiled and moved out to her car, taking the bottle with her, forgetting about her research for the time being. Sam glanced at Bobby.
"Should we have taken the bottle off her?" Sam asked.
"Nah, let her have it. Trust me, with the hangover she'll have tomorrow, it'll hopefully teach her that drinking is not the way to solve life's dilemmas."
Sam had to laugh.
Kerry found herself setting up camp sitting on the hood of her mustang, staring at the grave she'd made for Rumsfeld as she slowly finished the bottle of whiskey off, trying to ignore the fact that the world was slowly but surely starting to become fuzzy. It had started turning dark when she heard the sound of the impala coming up the driveway. When Dean stepped out, he saw her and she gave him a sloppy wave.
"Hey Dean-o!" she called and promptly started giggling.
Dean moved over to her and sat next to her, pointing to the bottle.
"You too huh?" he asked.
Kerry nodded, her face turning solemn.
"Yeah. Dad told me about Ash and with everything else going on right now, I just needed to escape reality for a while. So, here I am!"
Dean chuckled and took the bottle off her, finishing the contents in two large gulps. He wordlessly handed it back to Kerry and she sighed, leaning against him.
"So, how did it go at the bar?" she asked.
"I won a few bucks at pool and hooked up with a barmaid that just loved giving out free drinks, so I guess it's as good as I could wish for right now."
Kerry dropped her eyes to Rumsfeld's grave, trying not to let the hurt show on her face, but of course, Dean was too observant.
"You okay there?" he asked.
Kerry nodded, but Dean didn't believe her. He lifted her chin, making her look at him.
"Don't give me that crap; what's wrong?" he asked.
Kerry took a deep breath to steady herself before she answered.
"I just wish you'd realise that…you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm fine Dean" She mumbled.
Dean held her chin for a minute longer and Kerry found herself unable to tear her eyes away from his. Suddenly, he leaned forward and she found herself moving to him too, until their lips were so close to each other, she could feel his breath on her skin. As their lips connected, she suddenly caught a scent of perfume on him and pushed away with an angry yell.
"Why would you do that!?" she screamed at him.
Dean looked at her in shock at her outburst and at his actions.
"You EVER come up to me after shacking up with some bar tramp again I will reject you from my life. I can't believe you right now Dean!"
She walked away and Dean could only stare after her as his inebriated mind attempted to work out the meaning behind her anger. Once again, a memory tried to push itself to the surface but when he tried to focus on it, it slipped away again, leaving him drunk, confused and suddenly feeling like he'd destroyed something in Kerry that he may never get back again.