Slowly, Rose opens her eyes one at a time. For a moment her expression is almost blank and Kentoral wonders who she sees.

"Doctor?"

Ah.

Kentoral only nods at her as he gathers his thoughts and tries to hide his disappointment that it's not him she wants. Suddenly, he feels her open hand strike hard against his cheek and it stings, both physically and emotionally. When she raises her hand again, Kentoral flinches, but she didn't slap him this time. Instead, her trembling fingers soothe over the burning spot she left. He closes his eyes at the sensation, shuddering in pleasure as he leans into her touch.

At the sound of Rose taking in her own shuddering breath, a breath he knows isn't from pleasure, Kentoral opens his eyes and looks down at her. Tears gathered in her eyes and were spilling from their corners. He slides a hand behind her back, doing his best to stroke her shirt covered skin in comfort, while he cups the back of her head with the other, entangling his fingers in her hair. Kentoral leans forward and kisses her tears away.

Rose tangles her fingers in his silky tresses, directing his mouth to cover hers as she tries to raise herself up to press her body closer to his. Kentoral lowers his body, pressing her into the mattress, making Rose gasp as she feels his erection grind into her hip. He takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Tilting his head for the perfect angle, Kentoral caresses her tongue with his, stroking her mouth to ecstasy. When he rolls his hips into hers, he swallows her moan just before she breaks their kiss, panting.

Undeterred, Kentoral sensuously kisses along her jawline, down her neck and across the exposed parts of her collar bone. His hands move out from under her and smooth over her shoulders as his mouth continues a path down to the first closed button of her shirt. Using only his tongue and teeth, he popped open the buttons of her shirt until it falls away from her front side and looks down at her in awe.

Unbidden thoughts of a slightly older woman with the beginnings of a baby bump come to the forefront of Kentoral's mind, and for the briefest of seconds, he sees her spread out before him instead of Rose.

'Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay

Were layed spread out before me as her body once did.

All of five horizons revolved around her soul as the Earth to the Sun,

Now the air that I tasted and breathed has taken a turn.'

"You're beautiful," he whispers.

He understands now why he chose her as he gently places a shaking hand over her abdomen and his whole body trembles when he feels her empty womb.

'And all I taught her was everything

Oh, I know she gave me all that she was.'

Tears he can't hold back streak down his cheeks as he bends forward again and reverently kisses her womb as he whispers names in an ancient and alien language Rose can't understand.

'I take a walk outside, I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?

And twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away'

Kentoral covers her body with his as Rose's arms wrap around his waist pulling him closer to her as he wraps one of his own around her, his other finding her hair again and buries his face in the crook of her neck. He almost says her name, but he catches himself as even the thought of it stabs pain through his long dead heart.

"I need you. I always need you. Please, my love. My Delicate Flower, take me inside of you. Fix me," he implores her, his voice broken and vulnerable.

'And now my bitter hands cradle the broken glass of what was everything

All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything…'

Rose reaches between them as she opens herself to him and strokes along his length twice before swiping her thumb over the tip to spread the pre-come gathered there and guides him into herself. Kentoral buries himself in her moist heat, realizing she's become as much an illusion for him as he is for her. He moves inside her slow and hard, shuddering against her in both pleasure and pain as memories he had buried long ago come flooding back.

'All the love gone bad turned my world to black

Tattooed all that I see, all that am, all that I'll be.'

His vision blurs and he knows he's losing control. He grips her shoulders and thrusts harder, faster and deeper into her as her cries of pleasure fill his ears. Her fingernails rake down his back as her muscles tighten around his length and he reaches between them to rub tight circles into her clit until she comes apart around him. When he spills into her, Kentoral pulls himself up on his knees, bringing her with him and holding her tightly to his chest, biting into her shoulder as he tries to swallow his tears. Rose embraces him in her arms, rubbing his back in comfort.

The Doctor lay in his bed, still hugging the pillow tightly to his chest when he hears Rose's voice coming from the next room. He can hear her cries of pleasure and closes his eyes tight, wondering who's with her, giving her what he wouldn't allow for either of them. Is it the man she had been dancing with? Would she leave him now? Or worse…want this other man to travel with them? No, not worse, but maybe just as bad. To have to watch her be happy with another would kill him, but at least she would still be a part of his life. He'd rather live with the heartache of knowing she would never be his than not live with her in his life at all.

'I know someday you'll have a beautiful life

I know you'll be the star in somebody else's sky

But why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?'

He's always known it would happen one day, had always feared it. But it had never been this tangible before. He had to push those thoughts out of his head before he drives himself even madder. But just as he's about to turn away from the wall and try to shut out the erotic sounds she's making, he hears an impassioned cry of his name. His name. Not someone else's. He thinks back a moment and realizes he never heard her door after she had gone in. Is she…to thoughts of him? He reaches a hand toward the wall and rests the flat of his palm there. He shouldn't be entertaining thoughts of her lying naked, hand between her legs, where he should be…

"Rose?" he calls to her, voice low and barely above a whisper. "Rose…are you thinking of me, Rose?"

When he hears a resounding and impassioned "yes!" from her side of the wall, he has to turn his hips into the mattress to relieve the pressure in his suddenly too tight trousers. Knowing he won't be able to simply will his erection away this time, the Doctor quickly undresses, tossing his clothes haphazard to the floor. He replaces his palm on the wall and presses himself once more into the mattress, arm around the pillow he had been holding and pulls it again to his chest. Nothing in this room holds her warmth or scent, but he can still pretend. He can pretend she's spread out under him, legs wrapped around him, warm, wet, tight muscles gripping him and pulling him into her.

"What…what do you want, Rose? Tell me."

"More…I want more! Please!" he hears her plead and his hips surge forward, seemingly of their own will. His hips move in time to her moans and sighs and gasps, reacting to her cries of yes, and more and harder, until her final cry of release. And he reacts to that as well before he can stop himself.

900 years old and he can't manage to control himself just because a human female in the next room is secreting pheromones and calling out his name. A nineteen year old human female. Just because it's Rose shouldn't mean anything.

With shaking limbs, the Doctor pushes himself off the bed and strips off the sheets, tossing them to the floor by the foot of the bed before heading to the ensuite. He turns on the tap and adjusts the temperature before turning the dial for the shower and steps in, letting the water pound into his back as he rests his forehead on the cooler tile of the wall. A tear streaks down his cheek and he can just hear his 9th self.

'Time Lords don't cry.' Even though he knows he did cry once in his 9th body.

"Yeah, well Time Lords don't dry fuck their beds either, but we just did, didn't we?" No response from any of his former selves as he backed up to stand more fully in the cascading water. Slowly, he went through the motions of cleaning up as his mind turned unbidden to what he had heard and done not moments before. He wanted to make her make those sounds. Properly. Not resign her to using her own hand, or Rassilon forbid, finding someone else to satisfy her needs. But could he really give in like that? Could he let down the walls enough to let her in completely? Should he? He knows he'll still lose her one day, either because she'll get tired of the constant traveling, or she'll die.

"Why can't I just tell her? Why do I keep doing this to her? To us?" he asks no one in particular.

'Because we're terrified. We're scared. Of loving her, of losing her. That we don't deserve her. And we don't. But she made you. You exist as you do because of her love. Because of what we mean to her. Don't wait too long though, pretty boy. Because one day she will die and then what? You think it's gonna be easier then, if we never tell her? Never touch her? It won't. Might be worse. So don't screw this up, pretty boy. We need her and you know it.'

He scrubs his hands down his face and drags one through his hair as he lets out a harsh breath. Right, then. He turns off the water and wraps a towel around his hips as he steps out of the shower, heading back into the main room. He doesn't bother trying to go to sleep now, but towels off and redresses. Moving toward the desk in the room, he finds a pen and paper and begins writing a list of sorts.

A couple of hours before dawn, Kentoral reluctantly slipped out of the bed he had shared with his memories. But the woman lying on the bed next to him was warmer than that. She was real even if the illusions they had both been guilty of invoking and indulging in weren't. He found his clothes piled at the foot of the bed and dressed before taking to the shadows again and exited her room to go find the flower garden outside. He searched for the perfect pink roses and the purest white jasmine, carefully picking a few and fashioning a circlet out of them, making sure to break off the thorns of the roses.

When he had finished, Kentoral returned inside before the sun came up. Having to avoid sunlight as a demon was, at times, extremely inconvenient. He could go out in it if he had to, but he had to be well covered, if it touched his skin, he'd combust. Not the way he'd prefer to go out, ta. He found his way back down the hallway that lead to Rose's room after a sufficient amount of time had passed and knocked on her door. When he didn't answer, he knocked again a little louder. This time, she opened the door.

She stood there in her hastily buttoned up shirt and jeans, her blonde hair tousled from sleep and their lov…no. That's not what it was, hard as he wishes it had been. He'd tricked her into believing that he was another man. That wasn't love, nor was it likely to help him convince her that he did love her. Did he? Did he love her? Or was it the illusion she offered him that he loves?

"Kentoral?" she asked sleepily and he smiles at the sound of her voice. "What'er you doin' up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep, kept thinking about you," he sighs, "Did I wake you?"

Rose blushes. "Yeah, but I'm used to it. The Doctor's always waken' me up b'fore the sun's even up."

"I'm sorry." He fidgets with the circlet of flowers in his hands. "I should let you get back to sleep."

"S'ok. Don't be sorry. I'm surprised he hasn't come in and started jumping on my bed like the 5 year old I swear he is sometimes." She sees the circlet he keeps fidgeting with. "What's that?" she asks as she nods toward his hands.

"Oh, I made this for you. To say thank you for the dance last night." He lifts it up between his hands and places it carefully on her head. Rose gives him her tongue-touched smile and it takes all his willpower not to snog her.

"Those are roses, yeah? Won't I get pricked from the thorns?"

He laughs. "They are roses and jasmine, and no, you won't. I broke off the thorns before I made them into a circlet." He pauses and moment and then holds out his arm to her. "Walk with me?"

"Yeah, ok. And…thank you. For…for the flowers." Rose takes Kentoral's arm and he beams down at her as they walk back down the corridor and into the ballroom, finding a bench to sit on and he's quiet for a long time, simply watching her when she isn't looking. Finally, Rose breaks the silence.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asks as little bolder than she feels.

"I had a question, actually. But I'm not sure how to ask it. Neither of you know me, and I don't want to impose…"

"You want to come with us, yeah? When we leave?

"Yes. If you have the room and it's not too much trouble. I can be useful, even."

"Well, I'll have to ask the Doctor. It's his ship, after all."

"Right, of course."

It's then that they hear the Doctor calling for Rose and she goes to the end of the hallway to let him know she's awake and out in the ballroom. The Doctor walks up to her and rests his hands on her shoulders, smiling brightly down at her as takes in her disheveled appearance and the flowers in her hair. Rassilon, she's beautiful, he thinks to himself. His hands absently rub up and down her arms and she smiles up at him. He's relieved that she's no longer mad at him, but then he sees Kentoral sitting on the bench and his jealousy flares.

Rose nods in the other man's direction and looks back up at the Doctor. "He wants to come with us."

The Doctor's eyes widen, brows shooting up to his hairline. "What?!"