xxix. dissipation
Zelena is bent over in the dining room when Regina enters, so deeply engrossed in what she's doing that she doesn't appear to notice Regina set down the stack of plates. Regina tilts her head, watching as the candle Zelena is focused on releases a wisp of smoke, nothing more. Zelena hisses a curse.
"Until then," Regina says, and Zelena jolts. "Why don't you set out the plates?"
Zelena stares at her. Regina smiles blandly. "I'm not your maid," Zelena huffs, returning to the candle. This time nothing happens, and Regina heads back to the kitchen to retrieve the silverware. When she returns, the plates are set out neatly in their places and Zelena is at the candle again.
Her magic is returning, bit by tiny bit, and Regina's checked on her gemstone where it's hidden in the crypt and felt it warm with still-moving energy. It's only been a few days and Zelena can do something. It won't be long now. "You don't need magic to survive here," Regina offers, passing her the forks. "I managed twenty-eight years without it, didn't I?"
Zelena scoffs, circling the table. Six places are set, the dining room table full for the first time in thirty years, and a shiver of belonging passes through Regina as Zelena grabs the spoons. "You had no magic and they had no memories. Talk to me when you've survived a town that wants to kill you without magic."
"I did." Regina arranges the napkins while Zelena starts on the steak knives. "For a day." Before she'd gotten her power back, when she'd been at the mercy of the Charmings and the town and had been marked for a wraith.
"A day?" Zelena rolls her eyes. "Inspiring."
Terrifying. That's what it had been, empty-handed and powerless and weak for the first time since she'd become queen. There had been nothing but a flimsy door protecting her from hundreds of bloodthirsty vengeance-seekers, and the only two people who might have been sympathetic to her plight had been lost to another world.
But she doesn't concede that point to Zelena, only says, "Spare me the pity party. You're living in my home. Do you think anyone can touch you here?"
She rounds the table when she realizes that Zelena hasn't moved, the last steak knife clenched in her fist as she glares at Regina. "You're insufferable."
"And you're pathetic," Regina counters, a thrill like the promise of impending doom soaring through her. Zelena is still brandishing the knife, eyes furiously wild and trapped at the same time, and Regina reaches past her to slide a glass in place next to the place setting. Zelena lowers her hand.
"Will you send me to my room now for bad behavior?" She's petulant all the time, stripped of power and cranky about it, and gods help her, Regina is beginning to find it as endearing as it is irritating. Maybe it's just because she switches tacks so quickly, from angry to silently obedient, maybe it's because her mercurial shifts in attention are not unfamiliar. But Zelena remains someone Regina finds tolerable, at least.
She finishes with the table and passes Zelena a vase to set in the center of it. "Are you planning on stabbing anyone at dinner?"
"I'm coming to dinner?" Zelena demands, voice upping an octave in startled confusion.
Regina gestures at the table. "Six places. This isn't the Baelfire you had imprisoned, you know that, right? Snow might even wait until this one can roll over on his own before she starts serving him steak."
Zelena's lips purse together, unamused and caught up in new tension. "You think they'll want me there?"
"I'm fairly certain they will not." Regina returns to the kitchen to flip the steaks. They steam in the frying pan, nearly fully seared. "You're welcome to stay in your room for the rest of your life. But if you plan on coexisting with the people of this town, they'll be among the most forgiving."
"Not Emma."
"Can you blame her?"
Zelena scowls at that. It's…it's a different case than it had ever been for Regina and those she'd hurt most- because they'd also been the ones who'd hurt her most. There had been bitterness on both sides, love and hate and resentment combined, and they'd moved past it together.
But Zelena had targeted Emma only because her light magic had been a threat and because Regina had cared about her. There's no easy justification and they both know it, and if Regina chooses to be forgiving toward her sister, she won't push Emma to do the same. Barely contained dislike is better than murder or manipulation, at least.
There's a quick rapping on the front door and then it opens, Henry leading the others inside as they dry off from the rain. Regina keeps her eyes on Zelena. Zelena hesitates. Sits at the kitchen table.
Good.
There's something different about the sounds as they enter, and Regina pauses, listening to the chatter of voices as they make their way into the foyer. It isn't Emma, who's only responding as the others chatter around her, but Snow. Snow is chatting with the others as though she isn't on edge, as though she isn't afraid of Emma anymore.
Regina steps out of the room in time to catch Emma with a genuine smile on her face, listening as Snow goes on about some curriculum changes she's missing on maternity leave. There's still a distance between the two women, Henry safely between them, but for the first time since Emma had returned to town, she's watching her mother without pain in her eyes, pushing the stroller into the room and lifting out her brother to hold.
For a moment, Regina is terrified. She'd wanted Emma to work things out with Snow but they look like a family, entering her house, the five of them together. Emma looks more at ease than she's been in a long time and Henry and David are making faces at the baby while Snow scolds them and she knows Henry is hers but is there a place for her in Emma's life when Emma is secure? Or have they just been clinging to each other because they'd had no one else?
Then Henry looks up and grins, "Mom!" and Snow is virtually beaming at her (There's something dangerous in her smile, though, and Regina isn't quite sure how to respond to that). And Emma looks away from the baby- and something within Regina stirs with longing at the image of it, Emma with a child in her arms, but she files that away for now- and her eyes light up, even more dazzling than they'd been before.
"Regina," she murmurs, and heat rises in Regina's cheeks at the look on Emma's face. Snow is nearly bouncing in anticipation now and Regina spares her a disdainful glower before Emma is dragging her back into the kitchen, pressing her lips against Regina's forehead for a moment before she kisses her hard.
"My mom knows about us," she mumbles between kisses, backing Regina up against a counter.
Regina draws her closer, hands sliding around to perch at Emma's hips and her leg slipping between Emma's. "Snow knows?" So that had been what that dangerous look had been. Snow is playing nice so far, but she's going to hold this over Regina's head forever. She's supposed to get to be the smug one.
Emma nods, tugging at Regina's lower lip with her teeth for a moment and letting go to nuzzle her nose. "It's a nightmare. We'll never get another moment of privacy."
Zelena coughs loudly from her spot at the table and Emma jumps away from Regina as though burned. Regina spares a glance to the doorway, where Snow is peeking in, eyebrows raised at her. She backs away at Regina's look and Zelena smirks.
"You." Emma's face darkens. "Regina, don't tell me she's coming to–" She swallows the rest of the protest and nods sharply, swallowing and smiling painfully.
"Stop that," Regina orders her, disgusted. "I'm not your mother. You don't need to pretend you're all right with this." She sees magic out of the corner of her eye, glowing brightly and then winking out as Emma slouches.
"I'm trying to be supportive," she mutters. "I think I owe you at least a few weeks of enabling self-destructive behavior." Zelena rolls her eyes and rises, calling Henry's name as she walks out of the room.
"That's charming."
Emma gives her a dimpled grin, eyes light again like they'd been when she'd entered the house, and she presses a kiss to Regina's cheek. "I can be charming."
"Like an untrained puppy," Regina mutters, but she's flushing despite herself at the look on Emma's face. All at once, it's hunger and amusement and something like…
She inhales slowly. Now is not the time to consider that. Emma kisses her again, more gently this time. "Come on. Let's go have an agonizing dinner with your sister and my parents."
"You talked to Snow, didn't you?" It's apparent in how easily she mentions them, in the way she'd watched Snow in the foyer and the way she smiles now. Things aren't mended yet, but there's finally promise that they're getting there.
Emma shrugs. "We got to air out some stuff. It's better now."
"Really?"
"Really." She smiles again and rolls her eyes at the same time, as though it's a bit too much contentment for her to stomach. "At least…I think we'll be able to talk next time instead of pretending. It's a start."
"Starts are good." Regina is feeling that insecurity again, the suspicion that Emma is complete now, surrounded by the family she's always longed for. That all she'd been had been a stand-in for what they'd needed, Snow and Emma and even Henry, and...
Emma curls her fingers around her wrist and the warmth chases away the cold. "Thank you," she murmurs. "For sending me back there." The cold returns in full force. "I think if I'd stayed at home, I would have given up on Snow altogether. And I thought…" She hesitates, dropping Regina's wrist. "I thought you sending me away was about keeping Zelena."
"Emma, no," she says, chagrined, and reaches for her hand again.
"I know." They begin the walk to the now-emptied foyer, dropping the other's hand automatically when they reach it, and Regina feels it like a loss. Emma shifts closer to her, their hands still brushing together with every step. "Snow said that she'd spoken to you, and I realized then that…" She shrugs and Regina kisses her this time, slow and languid, until Henry is making gagging noises from the next room and Snow is watching them from her vantage point on the couch with unreserved interest. "Thank you," Emma says again, disentangling from her to move out of her mother's line of view.
Regina follows, pressing her forehead to Emma's when Emma pulls her close. "It doesn't have to be forever."
"It better not be. Bae is so calm during the day that you wouldn't believe the demon he becomes at night." She grins again and Regina parts from her only long enough to call everyone to the table.
Zelena sits between Regina and Henry and Emma takes Regina's other side, watching Zelena warily. Emma's eyes flicker down to Zelena's steak knife and Regina kicks her in the ankle. "Ow."
"Problem, Miss Swan?"
"Just the usual one," she says sweetly, and then, "Ow!" again, this time glaring at Henry.
Henry makes a face at her. Snow says, "Children, please," but she sounds more amused than anything. Her eyes rove to Zelena and then back to Regina, and finally to Emma before she reaches to touch Emma's hand under the table. Emma doesn't pull away, Regina notes with relief.
They eat in silence, some halfhearted small talk offered that avoids all the elephants in the room with discomfort. Emma's magic. Zelena's presence. Snow and Emma's relationship. Regina and Emma's relationship, though when she looks up sometimes, she can see Snow studying her with sharp eyes as though she knows that Emma's rubbing her foot against Regina's calf under the table.
"So!" Snow says finally, rounding on Zelena with a friendly smile. Zelena looks at her with trepidation. "How…uh…how did you know all those things about being a midwife?"
"You know, back when you were trying to steal my brother," Emma puts in. "What exactly were you planning on taking him for?"
Zelena lifts her chin, a thin smile on her lips. "Time travel."
Regina cocks an eyebrow. "Time travel is impossible."
"Only because it's never been done before." She's haughty and confident as she looks down at them, but it's so clearly a smokescreen for her discomfiture that Regina is embarrassed on her behalf. Henry shifts uncertainly and Zelena says quickly, "I was more talented than you long before I was given that pendant. Rumple even thought so."
"Yeah, and she kicked your ass," Emma retorts. "So maybe Rumple doesn't know jacksh–" She catches herself, glances at Henry. "You weren't a match for Regina."
"Regina picked up some of that light magic," Snow says, but neither of them are listening to her, Emma straightening and Zelena glaring coldly down at her.
"I was more than a match for you, or have you forgotten?" Zelena's lip curls. "You were a pale imitation of the threat I'd been led to believe you were."
"And you were outsmarted by a twelve-year-old boy." Emma smiles tightly. "How many years were you planning this vengeance? Were you in stasis during the curse? Or was it just a decade or two? And now you're powerless and weak and a failure," she pronounces the last word with extra disdain and a growl tears itself from Zelena's throat.
"That's enough." This has escalated too quickly, Emma and Zelena on their best behavior still like ticking time bombs around each other. "If you want to–"
"I'm a failure?" Zelena cuts her off, fists clenching against the tablecloth. "Look at you. I moved into your home and you knew who I was. We both know it." Emma's jaw tightens. Zelena smiles. "Did you prefer me, pet?"
"Enough!" Regina snaps again, her stomach sinking. She doesn't want to think about that, has been pushing Emma's first confession to her out of mind for days now. She doesn't know how to think about it, and Zelena wields it now like a weapon far more lethal than a steak knife.
Zelena ignores her. "Following after me like a lovesick beast," she purrs. "I could have had you destroy yourself."
Regina sees the blue glow haloing Emma, bright enough from the hands she's keeping under the table that she can't hide it anymore. But Emma's silent, only her jaw working under her skin.
Zelena laughs and Snow opens her mouth but fails to speak. "You were so very desperate. In love with Regina. In love with Walsh. So hungry for love that you'd live a lie for just a tiny bit of–"
Emma's magic explodes at Zelena, cracking through the tabletop and sending china crashing to the floor as it slams into the other woman. Zelena is smashed into the wall, the magic dying as quickly as it takes Regina to seize Emma's hands, and a glass slams into her an instant later.
Glass shatters over Zelena's face, blood dripping down from her forehead, and Emma's hands go rigid and then limp in Regina's. Regina drops them from her grasp, instinctively hurrying to Zelena. "David, I need a damp towel. Henry, antiseptic," she orders, eyes back to Emma.
Emma is still standing in place, eyes blazing with anger and fear and regret at once, and Snow starts toward her while Henry hurries to Regina. "Emma…" Regina begins, and Emma sucks in a breath like it's her first of the night.
"I should go," she says hastily. She's heading for the front door before Regina can snap after her, "Emma. Emma, don't you dare–"
The door opens to a torrent of rain and slams shut behind her and Regina can feel Emma running, her magic glowing dimmer as she flees like a star winking out of sight. "Dammit," she hisses, crouching back down in front of Zelena. Zelena glares at her and Regina ignores her, yanks out the glass and takes the towel to clean it before she seals the wound with her magic. There's still a nasty gash across Zelena's forehead, red and puckered and large enough to leave a scar, and Regina doesn't care.
Zelena's head lolls forward and Regina stands, yanks her to her feet and presses her back against the wall before she takes a step back. "Enough," she says for the third time, voice low and deadly. She's furious, furious at Zelena for taking Emma's bait and pressing all the wrong buttons, furious at Emma for running off, furious at herself for even trying this in the first place. "Listen to me."
Zelena's eyes close and flicker open again, resentment shining deep in them. "What?"
"You're going to stop antagonizing Emma. Stop– stop talking to her altogether when she's around."
"She started–"
Regina holds up a finger and Zelena falls silent, glowering at her. "Do not. If you want to stay here…" She doesn't know if Zelena does, if anything they've built over the past couple of days will last past these threats. Zelena is a prisoner here, too, as easy as it is to forget it.
But Zelena can break Emma again with the right words carefully directed at the right times. Zelena is standing in the way of Emma's recovery and Regina won't allow her to lash out anymore. "If you want to stay here, you're going to learn to be penitent around her. You're going to be on your best behavior and you're going to have to take whatever anger she owes you because if I have to choose to keep one of you around, I see no reason why I should keep you."
The words are harsh and she doesn't temper them, angry enough that she wants to see Zelena's eyes darken as hers have and lash out so Regina can fight right back. But instead something dulls in Zelena's eyes and she nods slowly. "Yes, of course. Now may I go rest?"
She sounds different now, uncertain and longing and stubborn, and Regina knows she's hit a sore spot but she can't bring herself to care when Zelena's words are still ringing through her mind. Did you prefer me, pet? It's such sheer exploitation of Emma, of her, of the two of them, and she's…
Fuck, she's genuinely hurt. Zelena isn't supposed to be getting under her skin like this. She's barely more than a stranger now. She doesn't have that power. She can't.
She grimaces at the wall and Zelena watches her with the same expression on her face and Regina squeezes her thumbs into her palms and wheels around, Zelena dismissed. Her face is even tighter now and Henry says in a small voice, "Mom?"
"Henry." She reaches for him and he shifts back, hands shoved into his pockets so they can't fidget, but he doesn't pull away when she wraps an arm around his shoulders. He's getting tall enough that the position is awkward, but she refuses to contemplate that. "Emma didn't mean to…" She sighs. He knows. "She'll be back."
"She keeps doing this. Running." He looks so disappointed in Emma that Regina's heart aches for both of them. "I thought she was getting better."
"She is, Henry. But it's been just a few days. And she's still…working things out." She sounds unconvincing even to her own ears, and she turns to cup his chin, meeting his eyes. "You know how long it took me to be who you needed."
"But you didn't have anyone," Henry argues, having the decency to sound apologetic about it. "Emma has us. All of us." He waves at the empty room- Snow and David have discreetly left the room already and Zelena has slunk upstairs- but she understands. "We're all here for her too."
"Sometimes having people makes it harder. Especially when you're afraid of letting them down. You know how hard your Ma tries to be..." Enough, her mind supplies, and she hesitates, unwilling to place that burden on Henry's shoulders.
She's hit by another wave of frustration with Emma, just as acute as Henry's own frustration. Emma's been on her best behavior since Zelena had been defeated and she'd thought they were past this. "However long it takes for Emma, we're going to have each other, right? It's all right if you want to be upset with her. But she loves you and I love you and nothing's going to change that."
"I guess." Henry looks glum about the whole situation, and he drags his feet as he wanders out of the room to the rest of the family.
Regina slips into the quiet kitchen to sit at the table in there, forehead pinched and a migraine coming on. She might've failed with Zelena tonight, pushed her further than she'd ever planned to, and Emma is certainly regressing somewhere in the town, probably taking out her frustrations on some hapless villain who's gotten in her way.
"Stop that," she hears a warning voice, and Snow sits down across from her at the table. "I know what you're thinking, and no. No, she isn't."
Regina scowls at her. "Aren't you the one who was so convinced that Emma could never have dabbled in dark magic? Isn't it time we got a break from the relentless optimism?"
Snow presses her lips together and bites down on them before she releases them with a pop. "You were right last time. And I know you're still upset–"
"I'm not upset."
Snow watches her with a knowing gaze that makes her want to set Snow on fire. "Aren't you? From what Emma tells me, she's pushed you into some of her less pleasant agendas, attacked you more than once…and Zelena taking your body has to sting. I know you, Regina. I can't imagine you've become this tolerant."
"I spent a year trapped in a castle with you. You'd be surprised." But Snow just watches her, quirking her lips in a smile and waiting, and Regina sighs. "I'm just trying to hold on to everyone, Snow. I've done far worse to Emma than anything she's done to me now."
Snow reaches across the table to rest her hands on hers. "I don't think we work like that, Regina. There isn't a tally of acceptable actions and reactions…" She squeezes Regina's hand. "But that's for you and Emma to discuss, I guess. Have faith in her. Like she's had faith in you. She's going to come back to you."
A small voice says from behind Regina, "I'm here, actually." She turns. Emma is standing at the side door, drenched and with a bobby pin in her hand like she'd just picked the lock instead of knocking.
Snow leaps up and wraps her arms around her and Emma's eyes widen with startled uncertainty. She catches Regina's gaze and looks away. "Emma!"
"Hi." Emma's hands slide up uncertainly to hold her mother, but she holds on until Snow lets her go, raising her hands to Emma's cheeks to study her face for a moment. "I…uh. I didn't hurt anyone, if that's what you've been thinking. I just jogged around the block and then kind of kicked the apple tree a few times and then stubbed my toe and sat in the rain for a while until I stopped…" She holds up her hands in explanation. "See? No magic."
"You could have done that inside," Snow says disapprovingly, but she hesitates, glancing from Emma to Regina for a moment. "How about I…Would you mind if we took Henry home tonight? We haven't gotten to see much of him since he'd gotten his memories back and I've missed him. Emma can stay here, if she wants."
"Subtle," Regina says dryly, but she stands anyway, reaching for Emma's arm as Emma starts toward her, Snow's hands hovering just above Emma's shoulder as she steps aside. She's smiling at Regina with a fair amount of benevolence and warning at the same time, and Regina rolls her eyes in return, her face softening as Emma passes over to her. "Come. Let's get you warmed up."
She still has a few stray articles of Emma's clothing in her room, but Emma digs through her drawers until she finds a loose grey tee that Regina hasn't worn since Henry was at his spit-up stage and pulls it on instead, still shivering and bedraggled. Regina silently leads the way down the stairs, the Charmings gone with Henry, and wraps Emma in a blanket on the sofa beside the fireplace. "Why don't you do the honors?"
Emma blinks at her, looks down at her hand and nods, furrowing her brow and concentrating until a fire grows strong in the fireplace. She slides over to the edge of the couch, as close as she can get to the flames, and Regina sits down on the opposite couch, picking up a toy far too old for Bae that Snow had left behind.
She twists it in her hands, watching balls slide through pipes as they shift, and Emma says, "I'm sorry."
"You have to do what you have to do to keep yourself under control," Regina allows. With Emma here again, her frustration is muted with relief and embarrassment that she'd ever suspected that Emma would have… "I wish you'd stay in the house to do it, though."
"I came back. I'm learning." Emma tries for a half-hearted grin and Regina softens even more. "Kicking the tree seemed to work."
"The tree it is, then." Regina narrows her eyes in warning. "But if you ever damage it again–"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm banned from the yard for life, right?" Emma draws her knees up against her, tightening the blanket around her body. "I didn't mean I was sorry for that. I mean, I am, but…" She swallows loudly. "I'm sorry about Zelena. Earlier, and…and she was right. I was…"
Her voice cuts off abruptly and Regina wants more, needs to know what she hasn't been allowing herself to wonder, but they're already on shaky ground, perpetually about to crash and burn, and now isn't the time. "You don't need to talk about this."
"Don't I?" Emma leans forward, eyebrows still knit together. "Zelena was right," she says again. "I was a…a lovesick fool."
"Emma–" She's startled at the admission. They don't do that. They love in hands grazing each other and in sentences they never finish and they never, ever talk about what it all means. Regina doesn't expect it from Emma, who still struggles to tell Henry she loves him in less-than-dire situations.
Emma shrugs under the blanket, eyes moving to stare into the fireplace. "I just…I wanted to keep you. And I was miserable and I loved you and I wanted to believe that she was you because better you were distant than you hated me for what I'd become. For what I'd done to you." She laughs, short and angry at herself. "I was so lost in hate and pain that I think I was afraid to have someone real holding onto me. Which is bullshit."
"Not bullshit." Emma blinks at her and Regina says, "Have you forgotten who I am?"
"You're Regina." Emma says it with authority, steeling herself as though she's ready for a fight. "Whatever you did in the past, it doesn't mean that–"
"That I'm uniquely equipped to understand you?" Regina cuts her off. "Spare me the self-flogging. It doesn't suit you." She remembers to smile a moment too late, but Emma's already watching her, penitence gone at the challenge and replaced with a long-suffering sigh and attentive eyes. "I don't hate you. You know that. And I have some experience in rejecting what's real to hold onto darkness." She'd rejected everything from friendship to a soulmate to her own father in favor of her vengeance, and it had left her alone and angry and craving love again. "You only punish yourself in the end."
She breathes, clearing out resentment that she'd been hanging onto without allowing herself to dwell on it until now. "And I won't punish you for that. Nor will Zelena anymore." She tries for an encouraging smile that freezes on her face and Emma's suddenly in front of her, in a half-crouch as she peruses Regina's face.
"Regina. What's wrong?" Her own uncertainty is forgotten as she sees something on Regina's face, recognizes pain and doesn't understand it at all. "Did you…did you send Zelena away?" There's a bit too much hope under Emma's concern, and Regina struggles to ignore it.
"No," she says, and Emma purses her lips together. "It's only that…Emma, her magic is coming back. At this rate, it could only be a few weeks before she's fully equipped to wreak havoc again."
Emma's jaw works under her skin, her eyes flicker up to Zelena's room, and Regina is bracing herself for what new- very valid- demands Emma is going to make. Zelena is a threat again, as swiftly as she'd been defanged.
But instead Emma flops down beside her with a sigh and murmurs in her ear, "And you're worried that she'll still want to. That's why you've suddenly developed the patience of a saint." She laughs, breath tickling against Regina's neck. "You've been trying to give her a reason to think twice about it."
Regina leans against her and Emma tucks her damp hair over her shoulder and wraps an arm around her. "She'll have to be locked up. Soon. I know that. But if all she's ever wanted is a place to belong…" She thinks back to Zelena's dull gaze when Regina had made it clear that she'd choose Emma over her and that it might be too late already. "She isn't as angry as I was. She's just…lost. And I still have a chance to give her what I have."
"A second chance?"
"A family. People to care about." She catches Emma's lips as the other woman turns to her and brushes against them very softly. "People to love."
They shift to lie on the couch by mutual agreement, Emma sliding down behind her and catching her around the waist while Regina strokes her thumb against Emma's hand. "I can't believe we got here," she confesses in a murmur. "For all I've done…for all we've been through…I never really believed I'd have a happy ending."
"I'm part of your happy ending?" Emma sounds like she'd tried to make a joke but it loses its humor halfway through and becomes hushed and awed. "But Henry–"
"Henry is everything," Regina agrees, and rolls over in Emma's arms to face her. "But so are you."
They're back to I love you without speaking the words, communicating in a slow kiss that deepens and in Emma's hand cupping her cheek and a whispered, Regina, I– that never needs to be completed. They're back to open eyes when they come apart and careful hands tracing a path into Emma's shorts and Emma's mouth working against her nipples over her dress's fabric.
A quick puff of blue and purple at once and they're back to Regina's bed, back to openmouthed kisses against her neck as Regina works her fingers into Emma and there's magic flowing freely from both of them now. They're back to sighs and groans and Emma's heart is drawing in so much energy from her that neither of them can stop or try to, Emma's magic strengthening Regina's and everything is more sensitized when they're overcome with it and the first time Emma comes, her heart shines white so brightly that its magic washes over Regina and they're both shuddering against each other with the force of something more powerful than just the two of them, back to being wrapped around each other in bed as their magic joins with their bodies.
xxx. consummation
Emma wakes up to a sputtering sound, like metal being drilled through and sparks flying everywhere, and she yawns and stretches and enjoys, for a moment, the comfort of being back in Regina's bed. Their bed, she'd been thinking of it as, and she thinks for a moment about coming home soon.
Not yet. There's still too much to work through at Snow's that she can't hide from anymore. But soon.
She rolls over, checks the time- it's noon already, how hadn't she awakened?- and notices suddenly that her heart doesn't hurt anymore. Somehow during the night, all that magic had consolidated into her and…
She breathes more easily than she has since she'd tried to destroy it and sits up, comfortable and sated and pouting a bit at the knowledge that she's missed a morning with Regina. There will be more, she thinks, confident in that assertion, and pulls on one of the tees they'd produced last night. And then freezes, eyes widening as they focus on the view out the window.
The sparks are flying, red against purple-blue like someone's breaking through their wards on the house, and Emma bolts for the door and down the stairs. "Zelena! Zelena, if you're trying to escape–"
She turns wildly and then stiffens as the cool barrel of her pistol presses against the side of her head. It's shaky and its bearer is trembling as she holds it in place, and Emma takes in a deep breath, calming herself before she does something stupid. "Zelena," she says again, more carefully. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Let me out of here." Zelena says, her voice high and on the verge of hysterics. "Get me out of this house now or I'll shoot this gun through your head."
"Do you even know how to fire a gun?"
"Does it matter when I'm this close?" Zelena counters.
Emma puts her hands up, heartbeat quickening as she searches for options. "No. It doesn't."
"So let me go!" There's still that odd drilling sound from outside and Zelena shoves her forward with the gun. "I want to leave."
"Zelena, we can talk about this. It isn't safe for you out there, either." She struggles to keep her voice calm, to tamp down the loathing she feels every time she's in Zelena's general vicinity. Her life depends on Zelena listening to reason.
It doesn't look good.
"Regina's put a lot on the line to protect you. You don't want to let her down."
"I'll kill her too if you don't take down your wards!" Wrong answer. Emma kicks at Zelena and- inexperienced as she is with it- she drops the gun with a clatter. Emma snatches it up, kicks Zelena to the ground, and aims the gun at her.
And then the sound of drilling stops and Zelena scoots back on her ass, looking terrified, as the door slides open across the foyer.
"Ah, Miss Swan," Mr. Gold says, sweeping past her into the house. Emma turns, eyes wide. "If you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of."
"What?" But Zelena is already stumbling to her feet, making a mad dash for the front door, and Emma finally understands her desperation from before. Gold has come to collect, and Zelena can't escape him.
She nearly makes it to the doorway before there's a puff of red smoke and Gold reappears in front of her. "Not so fast." He smiles at her, cruel and vengeful, and Zelena freezes. "It's no fun to be caged, is it, dearie?"
Emma finds her voice. "Hey. Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She waves her gun feebly, at one of them and then the other, uncertain. Gold is moving toward Zelena with bloodlust in mind, and Zelena takes a step back.
Instinct kicks in and Emma steps between them. "Move aside, Miss Swan," Gold says in a dangerous tone.
"You're going to kill her." Of course he is. Zelena had held his dagger for months, had had him under her control and made him vulnerable, and Gold won't hesitate to punish such arrogance. He must have been dreaming of this moment for weeks.
She can't blame him, exactly, and she knows the moment he sees that on her face.
"And why not?" Gold asks silkily. His eyes probe into her, knowing and hungry. "Wouldn't you?"
"Regina–"
"Regina doesn't need a sister so unstable. Zelena would kill her and your little boy the moment she has the opportunity." Gold's eyes glitter. "And we know that she'll have the opportunity. Dear Regina has always been too free with her heart."
She can't respond, can't argue with any of that, and something ugly and angry stirs within her. Something that reminds her of Walsh on the floor in Zelena's barn and it had been so easy, so simple to wash her hands of him and that chapter of her life. He'd deserved it.
Zelena deserves even worse and she craves to see her end, hates her for manipulating and lying and scheming to destroy them all. For letting her love a lie twice and taunting her with it. For nearly taking Henry from them and for bringing Emma to her knees and for stealing Regina away and having the audacity to hide behind her now. Regina cares too much already and Zelena will betray her, will destroy them all while Regina reels from it.
But she can't stand by and… She shakes her head in a vain attempt to rid herself of intrusive thoughts. Zelena dismissing her as useless. Zelena gloating over her loss of magic. Emma trapped like a rat in a maze, boxed in on three sides and no way to go but backwards as Zelena sends her minions to tempt Emma further. Zelena sitting on the couch beside Henry as though she belongs in this house.
"I can make it look like an ugly suicide," Gold croons. "Regina never has to know. You don't have to do anything but step aside and Regina will never know you had any part in this."
Zelena remains wisely silent, perhaps aware that anything she says will only seal her fate further, and Emma says, "It'll break Regina's heart. I can't let you do that."
"Regina will mourn and move on. She has her happy ending. Zelena is only an obstacle along the way. Now step aside."
Regina had called her and Henry her happy ending the night before. Henry had thought that Zelena would be someone in Regina's camp, but…
"Do you want to know how many years she spent dreaming of killing Regina? How Regina had been only a young apprentice of mine when Zelena had first attempted to slit her throat? How Zelena had had a chance to have a sisterhood and destroyed it out of envy?" Gold laughs, a cackle to it that sounds more like Rumplestiltskin than passive shopkeeper. "Zelena is powered by envy. How long do you think it'll take before she sees what Regina has and breaks again?"
"I wouldn't," Zelena croaks from behind her. "I wouldn't hurt Regina now, Emma, please. I didn't mean it."
Emma turns to stare at her, sees fear in her eyes for the first time, and sees darkness lingering behind it. Hatred as strong as her own, still present, and Emma knows that Zelena hates her in that moment for having to plead for her life. "Please," she says again, and Emma feels the thrill of Zelena begging, Zelena broken and afraid as Emma had been.
She's been waiting for this for so long, and it's finally in her grasp. She could step aside now and watch, could run upstairs and close her eyes again and turn a blind eye to whatever happens downstairs.
She steps aside.
Zelena seizes her arm and says, dull and resigned, "You're going to leave me, aren't you."
She yanks her arm away and Gold moves forward, murderous intent in his eyes, and then Zelena's words register. Regina had said those exact words to her one day two years ago, had held onto her hand in a burning building and spoken as though she hadn't believed in goodness in the world.
And for the first time, Emma sees what Regina sees in Zelena's eyes, desperation and uncertainty and another woman who'd never been loved right. Another woman who'd fallen prey to magic in a desperate attempt to find power in a world that would strip her of it.
Gold scoffs. "You're not worth saving. And Miss Swan is just like me. An agent of darkness, as bound to well-deserved vengeance as I am." He leans down, seizing her by the throat.
Resolve takes hold of her again as she raises her hands and squeezes them around her gun. "No." she says. "I'm the savior." And she shoots him in the arm.
He hadn't expected it, hadn't thought to defend himself, and he's thrown back from the force of it and darkness seems to gather around him as Emma snaps out, "Zelena! Run!"
Zelena stumbles, gaping up at her, and races up the stairs. Gold holds out his hand and tendrils of golden magic emerge from his palm, swooping up toward Zelena, and Emma charges for her, wraps her arms around Zelena and focuses hard. The tendrils hit them just as she makes them disappear, and they reappear just outside Zelena's room and stagger in behind the final wall of wards.
"You can't keep her from me forever," Gold calls after them in a growl, and Emma can hear him climbing up the stairs, clunk-step-step as he leans on his cane.
Emma looks around the room, eyes lighting on the tall wardrobe along the side wall. She grabs it, shoving it forward toward the door, and nearly jumps when a second pair of hands pushes at it. Zelena is stronger than she looks, and they have the wardrobe in front of the door as Gold begins wearing away at these wards, too. "Zelena!" Gold howls, and he sounds crazed again by his vengeance. The lights in the house are blinking and there's the sound of windows shattering in every room but this one. "You've earned worse than death. I will make you dream of death."
Zelena backs away from the door, hands up and fists clenched and nothing but a faint green smoke emerging from them. "Dammit," she growls. "Damn, damn, damn."
She's angry and helpless and terrified and Emma feels her magic responding to it, warring within her- enthusiastic for Zelena's demise. Stubbornly determined to avert it. I'm the savior, she thinks again, and suddenly it's important again to hold onto that. Suddenly that crap title means something other than a weight she's never wanted and it's what she does, not what she is.
She'd once protected the innocent and vulnerable and defended them as no one had defended her, had been spurred to action out of a visceral need that had had nothing to do with prophecy or curses or magic. That's the savior she'd embrace, not some chosen one who leads a town that would follow her to their doom. That's who Regina's been emulating. That's who she craves to become again.
That savior pulls the bitchy mayor out of a fire and protects her when her son cries for it. That savior had been lost somewhere along the way, vanished in feeble attempts to be the hero the town had seen her as. And she presses her lips together now and holds up her hands, willing her magic to come forth as she demands it.
Regina had said it. I make my own destiny. And Emma can recapture the light, can find it just as Regina had, and she says quietly, "You're not going to die," as her magic fades and returns like a white glow around her hands.
"Why do you care?" Zelena demands, but she's watching Emma's hands with a tentative kind of hope that makes Emma shiver and look away. "You hate me. You want me dead."
"Yeah. But I don't get to pick whether or not anyone deserves to live or die." She gathers more magic and Zelena watches her with eyes that don't comprehend, and she adds, "And Regina's right. If we all get second chances, so do you. Even if I'd rather throw you into her crypt and lock it."
"The feeling is mutual," Zelena mutters, but her eyes are bright like they've crossed something just now, one hurdle on the way to a dozen more.
And then the wardrobe is blasted into a thousand pieces and the sky grows dark and cloudy and the light fixture above them shatters as Gold breaks through the final wards and stands before them.
Emma concentrates like she had over Robin Hood's body, rallies all the force she has as Gold releases magic from his hands, and she meets his blows with white magic streaked with blue. Their magic locks together and Emma chokes.
It's like stepping into a black hole and trying to scream, endless power all around her and so immense, ancient and unlimited and she's only a tiny speck of dust within it, caught in the undertow. She's a foolish little girl playing games with someone far out of her league, and she can see Gold's mouth forming smug warnings, Step back now and I'll spare you, Emma, she isn't worth it, think of my grandson, and she pours out more and more magic.
She doesn't have the control or skill that Regina does, doesn't have the easy dominance that Zelena had displayed, but she has raw power, so much that it had consumed her before she'd learned how to harness it. And that's all she has to counter Gold, who has Regina's skill and Zelena's ease and her own raw power.
But her heart beats in time with her magic, thrumming all together, and she remembers that true love is the most powerful magic of all and her heart is made of pure love, built from her parents and given to her, and she loves hard and lets that consume her instead of the Dark One's magic. She opens herself up like a reservoir of magic, light surrounding her within the darkness, and the black hole Gold has opened is illuminated with white-purple-blue that it can't swallow.
She can feel herself faltering under its sheer energy output, too much for her body to handle, but she teeters in place and keeps her hands high, protecting Zelena with all she has. Yeah, she still hates her. But she loves Regina, and a piece of Regina is already within Zelena, so she loves her too. She's going to last for as long as she can, until–
A shot rings out and Gold flies backward, his magic disrupted. Emma sinks to the ground, utterly spent. "How was that?" Zelena asks, kneeling down beside her with an irritating smirk on her face, and Emma nearly hugs her. "Have I mastered your silly little weapon yet?"
Emma laughs weakly as she watches Gold, red swirling around him as the bullet emerges from healed skin and falls to the floor. He stands up again, eyes dark, and Zelena grabs hold of Emma's arm. "Emma!"
"I would have spared you," Gold rumbles. "I do owe you several debts of gratitude, Miss Swan. But I won't have someone so foolish with her power in this town." He lifts his hands again.
She might have more magic within her, but it's too deep and she's too weak to control it without ripping herself to shreds. Zelena has the gun, but it'll do no good against Gold. This is it for them.
She turns to Zelena and Zelena says, "I'm sorry," and Emma doesn't know for what. For bringing this upon them, for Walsh, for Regina, for everything that's happened in the past year, maybe. Zelena is looking at her with such regret that could be for herself or for Emma or for both of them at once, and Emma thinks that she must have the same expression on her face.
She returns her gaze to Gold and thinks of Regina and Henry one last time, remembers David's arms around her and Snow's hand clasped in hers and Baelfire tiny in her arms. Baelfire, Regina's voice says, and then more sharply, "Baelfire would be horrified to see you hurt the woman he loved."
Emma's head jerks to the side and Zelena squeezes her arm more tightly and they're both gaping up at the hallway behind Gold. And so is Gold, eyes narrowing with renewed resentment as Regina steps into view. "Baelfire is gone. Because of her." He gestures to Zelena and she flinches.
"Baelfire sacrificed himself for you. She may have had some hand in his death," Regina allows, and there's no magic in her hands yet but Emma doesn't doubt it's close to the surface. She can feel herself getting stronger again just by Regina's proximity, just the thought of the two of them resisting Gold together enough to give her renewed hope. "But he died so you could live. Don't waste his gift for this. We talked about this."
"You talked. I made no promises." Gold's face distorts into another ugly sneer. "Zelena is mine to destroy. I've suffered enough at her hands."
"You took our mother so you could live. You took my life from me for a curse. You took Emma's for the same reason. And you twisted Zelena for your own purposes as well." Now Emma can sense Regina's magic building, can feel it reaching for her. "Haven't you taken enough from us?"
Zelena pulls herself into a crouch and then a stand, reaching to help Emma up. Emma takes her hand and makes a halfhearted attempt to stand on her own before she slumps against Zelena again.
Gold snarls out a low curse and Regina shifts, walking past him to slide a supportive arm around Emma. "What'll it be, Rumple?" she asks, and Emma can feel the magic around them, stronger and stronger like it had never been exhausted.
She doesn't know if it can ever be enough to counter the Dark One, but Gold's eyes are dark and frustrated in concession and there's a hard crack of power as he vanishes from the house at last. Emma slumps again, and there are two gentle sets of arms that guide her back onto Zelena's bed.
From the edge of her vision she can see Zelena glance to her once, meet her gaze with eyes warm enough that Emma's lips curve into a light smile, and Regina murmurs to Zelena, "Are you all right?"
Zelena nods and the sisters look at each other with such unspoken longing that Emma half expects them to hug. But they're not quite there yet, and instead Zelena touches Regina's arm and Regina dares a tentative smile as she clasps her own hand over Zelena's on her arm. "Can you phone David at the station, let him know what happened here before an angry mob arrives?"
"Phone?" Zelena echoes, but she looks at both of them again in comprehension, then takes the proffered cell phone and agrees, "I'll do my best," and exits the room.
And then Regina is Emma's again, sliding up onto the bed so she can lie opposite her. "Thank you," Regina whispers. "I know that couldn't have been easy for you."
"I'm the savior," she says back, and it's an answer and none at all. "I'm starting to figure out what that means."
"That's up to you to decide." Regina strokes her hair, pulls it back behind her ear so it isn't tangled over her face anymore. "If it's an empty title that's outlived its purpose or if it's who you're going to be every day."
"I think…" For what meaning she's found in it, she'll keep it, and reject it for the falseness that it brings to Storybrooke around her. "I think I can be a sheriff." Another non-answer that Regina seems to understand. Emma laughs hoarsely. "I used light magic again today, did you see? That's how I protected Zelena."
"Light magic comes easily when you believe in it," Regina murmurs.
"But–" She laughs again, confused and overwhelmed. "This is my big redemptive moment? Saving the villain of the story?"
Regina watches her with eyes that glow with love, with so much wisdom within her gaze that's been tempered by a life unlike any other. "Oh, Emma, my sweet idiot." She kisses her gently on the lips, achingly slow. "There are no big defining moments to redeem us, that's what I've learned. There's only fighting, day after day, and sometimes the fights are loud. Sometimes they're so quiet that no one knows."
"No one?"
"Tell me." Regina kisses her again and Emma draws her closer still. "Tell me, and I'll tell you."
Just an epilogue to come! :)