Oh, Stahl. So adorably hungry that it's going to get you into trouble.
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Rooming with Stahl was nothing special, just an average guy with average looks. The only thing Gaius couldn't get into was that the dastard was ALWAYS HUNGRY!
"Yo, Gaius! By any chance you have something for me to snack on? Training's run me through," Stahl said, patting his stomach and stretching out on his bed next to Gaius. His stomach rumbled in agreement.
Gaius sighed from between his toothpick and raised an eyebrow. "I've already told you that I don't share. I'm a thief, I take. That's it. Especially these fuzzy socks."
"Hey! Those are mine! Cordelia knitted those for me and I thought I lost them in the laundry."
Gaius wriggled his toes and chuckled. "You snooze, you loose, mop head. They sure are comfortable."
"That's why I liked them…," pouted Stahl. "At least pass me some candy, then we'll be- ah…what's with the look, buddy?"
At the mention of candy Gaius' eyes lit with a blazing fire, something akin to demonic possession. His teeth were so firmly clamped together that his toothpick had been chomped in half. He was something other than human…
"Don't you ever ask me for candy. EVER! You shall die a terrible death at the sticky hands of Gaius!" By this time Gaius was looming over Stahl, who was stuck in a corner, nodding vigorously.
At once the flare left his eyes and Gaius' usual cocky grin came back. "Great! Now that we're clear I'm gonna head out for a sweets run."
Stahl began breathing again as soon as Gaius left the room. Man, oh man. He's a true candy connoisseur, I'll tell you that. Rumbling from his stomach, loud rumbling. But I AM starving.
"Whelp, time to put the old sniffer tracker to work then," he said to himself as he pulled out of the corner. He gave his nose a hearty honk with a handkerchief and flared his nostrils. Besides his extraordinary hunger was his extraordinary sense of smell for all things edible.
And by Naga am I hungry, he thought as he sniffed around Gaius' side of the room. "I'm sure hew as being melodramatic anyways. He wouldn't mind if I took one from his- JACKPOT!" Stahl's nose had steered him true, right to Gaius' underwear drawer and a stash of candy.
"Ah…a unique hiding spot for sweets by all means." He picked up a air of boxers with gummy bears on them and tossed them aside. Underneath them was an array of chocolates, gummies, lollipops, mini cakes, sticky buns, etc. "I-I'll only e-eat one, okay?" Though his eyes said a different thing.
An hour later…
"Whew! The old candy vendors aren't as old as they let on, but I swiped a fair amo- Oi! The HELL!"
Gaius had just come back from taking candy from an old person (no babies, just the elderly) and caught Stahl red handed…or sticky handed fits better.
"Hey Gaius, old pal, didn't expect you to be back so soon." Stahl murmured as he tried to hide his chocolate stained hands. Not only were his hands stained, but also his t-shirt and pants along with a colorful assortment of candy wrappers. Chocolate and sugar hid his sheepish smile. The only thing left of the previous stash was a lone, orange gummy bear.
"Y-y-y-you, you, you DASTARD. I-I-I-" Gaius' face had taken a turn for the worse. His left eye twitched rapidly and his mouth was twisted in a permanent scowl. He hands were clenched in fists so tight that he was tearing his gloves. He only loosened them to unsheathe his Silver Sword and point it directly at Stahl's face.
"Whoa!" yelled Stahl. "Let's not get crazy."
"Oh, I'm fixing to get crazy!"
"I only ate some-"
"You ate it ALL!"
"I saved you a gummy bear!"
"That doesn't mean jack and you know it!"
"But you have more!"
"I SHALL END YOUR LIFE WITH SUGAR UPON THY GRAVE, THIEF!"
Gaius had his blade poised to take off Stahl's head and no one was going to stop him. Stahl saw this and said only one thing:
"But you took my fuzzy socks…"
"RRRRRRAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
"GYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
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Please don't kill him Gaius. He couldn't help himself. The girls should be doing better than the guys, right? Right? Let's look at at Maribelle and Tharja!