Chapter 5:

Quinn switched the engine off and puffed out a deep breath. She'd not been to the Berry's house for a few months and that last time it hadn't been to see Rachel. Years had passed since High school, but now as she walked up towards the door of the Berry's she was reminded of the last time she'd come here to see Rachel.

There was a party and she got drunk. Then she watched as Rachel kissed Blaine and then she got a bit more drunk, something she found she did a lot when Rachel was making out with guys.

"I was just thinking about that party you had," she said the instant Rachel opened the door, without even saying a hello.

"Don't." Rachel shook her head and scrunched up her face at the memory, but after a breath she burst out laughing.

"Blaine!"

"I said don't, that was the night Finn called me a needy drunk. So I turned my need to Blaine. I thought he might have been into me, I practically stalked him. Too embarrassing!" Rachel hooked her arm in Quinn's and walked with her to the car.

Quinn couldn't stop smiling. It was fun looking back, but she enjoyed being here with Rachel now. "So where shall we go?"

"I have no idea, but could we start with a coffee? My Dad doesn't make it strong enough."

"Or perhaps you had a little too much fun with Kurt last night?"

"I may have indulged a little. My head is good though and I'm still going to get you drinks later. I promised."

"That you did. Waking me up like that, it's the least you owe me." Quinn jested.

"I woke you? I didn't notice the time." Rachel protested, but Quinn quickly took the phone from her hand.

"You see the big clock there..."

"Whatever." Rachel giggled. She'd been aware of the time last night, she'd just wanted to know what Quinn was doing and with half a bottle of wine in her stomach she'd felt brave enough to ask.

"So do I have to confiscate your phone tonight, or am I the only one you drunk text?" Quinn was laughing as she opened her car door and climbed in.

"The only one." Rachel replied softly as she walked to the passenger side. She knew Quinn didn't hear and she also knew there was no one she'd be texting tonight. Quinn always had her full attention.

They were soon sharing tales from the last few years over a strong coffee. Rachel felt alive again and not just because the caffeine was waking her up. She hadn't laughed so much in a long time, but inevitably the day passed too soon. They walked and talked and managed to forget to eat any lunch. By the time they sat down to an early dinner they were both hungry. The glass of wine, Rachel was trying to sip, went straight to her head.

"What does Kurt think about you being in Lima?"

"Oh you know, says it's a waste of my talent. Same line as everyone else."

"Will you listen to any of us?"

"I listen to you."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I think you all just need to listen to me. I need some time. I have feelings and things I want to work out. What if I like it more in Lima?"
"Lima is safe. You don't do safe." Quinn put her hand over her glass, she couldn't drink anymore if she was driving Rachel home.

"I wish you'd let me call a cab." Rachel put the bottle back on the table. "Is that why you like it here, you need to be safe?"

"It's easy. I was struggling before, after I graduated things were tough. I got a good job, but lost it with cut backs and that was tough. So I had to rethink a lot of things. Teaching just happened. Coming back to Lima happened."

"Marrying a guy happened." Rachel scoffed.

"Something like that. " Quinn dismissed. "But why did you never, you know…no one serious?"

"Oh my life is a whole lot of complicated. I think we'll save that for another time."

"Sure." Quinn could tell Rachel was building her walls and she wasn't ready to try and bring them down tonight. "Next time you should come for dinner." Quinn changed the subject to the bill she'd been reading over. The food hadn't been that good for the price. She looked up to see a slightly alarmed look on Rachel's face. "What? I'm a good cook." She reassured.

"I didn't...dinner at yours, we could do that."

"How about Wednesday? I have after school clubs, but Wednesday is my free night."

"Yeah I can do that." Rachel swirled the remnants of her drink around her glass. The day was over and she felt overwhelmingly sad.

"You had fun today though?" Quinn saw the conflict on Rachel's face.

"The best." She enthused, a smile returning to her lips. She'd not had a day like that in forever. They'd shopped, they'd had ice cream. They talked about old friends and past times. They ate well, but she was still left wanting something.

"So..."

"I'll bring dessert on Wednesday." Rachel paused. "I just don't want tonight to be over. It feels too soon."

"You could come back for coffee?" Quinn shook her head as she said it and Rachel shook hers in return.

"Wednesday." I don't want you to get bored of me.

Quinn smiled, but she knew she couldn't get bored of Rachel, she didn't want the day to end either.

xoxo

Rachel felt her nerves kick in as she walked the steps on Wednesday morning. The day with Quinn had been amazing. She finally got the feeling they could be friends, but with that thought came another. Was friendship what she really wanted? Kurt's jests had been close to the bone. There had always been something about Quinn, she couldn't deny that. Their worlds had changed so much since High school and Quinn had been so hard to get to know back then, but Rachel had seen a side Quinn didn't show many others.

She was a little more open now, but Rachel still felt she was barely scratching the surface.

Her Dads both asked lots of questions about the day out they'd shared. Hiram kept calling it a 'date' and Rachel knew it made her blush each time. If it had been a date, it was almost perfect.

When Clem had called her on Sunday she was barely listening, her Dads were still laughing about something Rachel had told them. She tried to pay attention when she was told of a new play, but now wasn't the time, her confidence low. She didn't want to hear about a dream ticket now. She wanted to be in Lima and was in no hurry to leave.

As she pulled the main door open she was quickly brushed aside by a group rushing to first period. She looked up to see Quinn waving at her from across the hall and she felt a warmth fill her from inside as she waved back and struggled to contain her smile.

In a flash Quinn was gone. Classes had already started and she hated that she had arrived so late.

She was still smiling when she got to the choir room, but before she got her things together a text came in from Quinn, postponing their dinner and she felt like a bubble had burst. The wave she'd been riding came crashing to the shore and she was left in a room with Jimmy and Mischa destroying one of her favourite songs.

"No." She slammed the notes in her hand to the floor. "It's not how it's meant to be," she took Mischa's place and led the performance. Jimmy followed her lead and she lost herself in the music. It was a relief to not think, to just perform. She loved how it felt.

"Rachel." Quinn's voice cut through the music and Brad stopped dead on the piano.

Rachel could see that her class was watching her closely, Mischa's eyes were locked on hers and for a moment she felt slightly scared. Jimmy was grinning stupidly next to her and she shook her head. He was too like Finn. Finally her eyes rested on Quinn.

"That's it for today. Mischa?" She turned to the girl that looked almost as angry as Santana on a good day. "Take note. You hold his attention, you'll take the audience. You have that power. You!" she stepped closer to the girl that was now listening to her with interest and not staring at her with anger. "Your talent and his voice. That is what can help us win. You have a presence and the audience will want you. You get it?"

Mishca nodded and the others followed. Jimmy was still leaning on the piano, almost separate from the group. "Jimmy, you need to practice the harmonies. You'll let Mischa down if you keep going flat. You've got a lot of work to do."

"Yes, Miss Berry." He stood up straight.

"We can do this. You can do this." Rachel wrapped up the lesson before facing Quinn. "You okay?"

"I..." Quinn no longer knew what to say. She'd walked in to see Rachel practically devouring Jimmy with her song, but now she felt that she'd been too quick to judge. Rachel was just performing. It's what she did, but for a second there, she'd seen Rachel and Finn. "He's too like Finn."

"A little." Rachel conceded.

"And you miss Finn." Quinn said flatly. It was a statement, not a question. It explained so many things. Why Rachel was single. Why Rachel didn't move on.

"Finn will always be important to me. Jimmy reminds me of him, but that's it." She looked at Quinn pointedly. She knew what was being implied and it was far from the mark.

"I just, what I saw when I walked in, you maybe need to tone it down."

"I'm performing." Rachel rolled her eyes but then tilted her head. "Maybe a little. I forget they're so young, I just want all of them to find the thing that makes them happy. That's all I want for anyone I care about." Rachel locked eyes with Quinn for a second.

"Some people just don't do happy."

"Says Quinn Fabray." Rachel laughed lightly.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I sent that text, then rushed over. I should have just come here first."

"The text?" Rachel replied nonchalantly.

"About dinner?"

"Oh yeah, I got that." Rachel waved her hand dismissively. "No big. Some other time."

"It's just that I heard from Greg. He's home tonight. I have some things to deal with. I can do Friday. I'd love it if you'd come over, Please?"

"Yes," Rachel shook her head, frustrated with herself for doubting Quinn wanted to spend time with her, but also confused about how she felt about Greg being around. "I'm being silly. Friday would be perfect. I'm so tired today. The weekend has caught up with me."

"My place at 8." Quinn quickly jotted down her address. "I know we're both at the same school, but really I feel I barely see you."

"I know!" Rachel had thought it was just her, that Quinn had been avoiding her. She'd spent the last three lunches with Miss Hanson and every other break with Mrs Mckay, but not once had she seen Quinn.

"I like teaching, but I'm not really ecstatic about teaching life." Quinn offered as an explanation. "You won't see me in the staff room too often," she checked her watch. "I've got to go."

"Sure." Rachel nodded.

"See you friday." Quinn didn't look back as she left the room. "Stay over?"

The last words lingered. Rachel called out a "Yes," but Quinn was long gone. It didn't matter, Friday was two days away and tonight she knew Quinn was dropping everything because the husband she was separated from was showing his face.

Rachel hadn't met Greg but she felt she could never like him. She couldn't like anyone that played games with Quinn.

xoxo

Friday night finally arrived and she drove to Quinn's house, parking her car on the street outside. Quinn lived in one of the nicer parts of town, which wasn't a surprise to Rachel. She'd expected something similar to the house the Fabray's had when they were at school, but the house she saw was smaller. A modest house for a teacher. She wondered what Greg did for a living and then the thought that he may be here too hit her for the first time. Surely this was his home too.

She rang the bell hesitantly, but was immediately greeted with a hug, one that was no way near cold like the week before. Once inside the house, she felt its warmth. Quinn had made the house a home and Rachel instantly felt welcome. Something in that house made her feel like she was being given a warm hug and she liked that feeling a lot.

"I love this place." Rachel gushed for the third time in as many minutes.

"Me too." Quinn bit on her bottom lip but it didn't suppress her smile. "It was bare, dull. I've had a lot of time to get it like this. Turns out I like painting and all that house stuff. I guess you get people in. I mean you're a star. People do things for you?"

"I never feel like a star when I'm with you."

"Oh."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I uh..." Rachel paused. "With you I feel, well I feel like me. It's nice."

Quinn didn't hide her smile at all. "I made a vegan curry. You like hot food? I should have asked."

"I like it hot." Rachel nodded. "It smells really good."

"Hopefully it tastes okay. It's the first time I've made it and I'm always weary of trying out new recipes on people."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing." Rachel followed Quinn into the kitchen. "So you saw Greg." Rachel wanted to know everything. Quinn had been cagey about their relationship so far and Rachel had put it down to her emotions being a little raw from the separation, but now he was around again and she couldn't not ask.

"I did. Things went well and…" Quinn paused as she put the desert in the fridge. "He's coming home for a while, wants to see if we can make a go of it. We agreed to try. I guess I owe him that." She didn't turn to face Rachel once as she spoke.

"Home, here?" Rachel was struggling to process the news.

"It's his place too. He's been traveling so much, it doesn't feel like he lives here anymore."

"I thought you, I uh." Rachel couldn't find anything to say. She knew Quinn was married, but it felt different now.

"It's been a strange few months but we're friends first and he's a good guy. Really he is. I owe him a lot." Quinn shrugged and Rachel felt that Greg had made Quinn feel she owed him something.

Before she could say anything the timer went off on the cooker. "Let me get that and I'll get you some wine." Quinn was quick to escape Rachel's confused gaze.

Rachel took a seat on the couch. Surveying the room her eyes instantly landed on a photo in a black frame. She was drawn to Quinn. She'd looked as beautiful as she'd ever expect on her wedding day. The man next to her seemed a blur, but the blur became more of a focus as she stared. There he was.

"Thank you," she took the glass of red Quinn handed her and sipped it. "This is really good."

"I thought you might like it, I asked for something special and they delivered. You okay?" Quinn had noticed the vacant look on Rachel's face. She followed her eyes to the photo.

"I'm good." Rachel nodded, returning her eyes to Quinn, but a pang of sadness had gripped her chest and she was struggling to shake it off.

"This is amazing." Rachel was busy devouring her plate and it took the edge off the fact they weren't managing to hold a decent conversation for the first time since they'd met up.

"My roommate at Yale was all into Indian food. She over did it, but I learnt some basics. I found this vegan recipe and thought of you. so...well I think I made it into something edible at least."

"I love it, you can cook it for me again."

"I'd love to do that. I'm so sorry I bailed this week. It was strange with Greg being around, but we still have things to work through."

"I don't want to pry."

"You do." Quinn chuckled and Rachel couldn't help but nod and laugh too.

"I thought...I don't know. I guess I thought it was over."

"I thought maybe it was too, but he shows up and he still loves me...what would you do?"

"I couldn't say." Rachel swirled her drink in her glass and watched as the tannins clung to the sides.

"Rachel..." Quinn's voice was low and it instantly had Rachel's attention, she looked up from her glass and saw something fiery in Quinn's eyes but the blonde quickly looked away. "I owe him the chance to try. I believe in the vows I made." Quinn's voice was dull now but Rachel's eyes didn't leave her face.

"You've not met someone since he left?"

Quinn picked up the bottle on the table and refilled her glass. "I met someone before him, I just didn't know it then."

Before Rachel could say another word, Quinn was busy clearing their plates. Rachel was ready to ask more questions but the second Quinn sat back down, the doorbell rang.

xoxo

"Is Rachel here?" Rachel heard a familiar voice from the door way and quickly got up from her seat. From the hall she could see Clem trying to peer round Quinn.

"Clem?"

"Ah Rachel! Your cell is off. I've been trying to call you all evening."

"You're in Lima?"

"I was in New York, but if you don't take your calls then what am I to do. It's all at your expense anyway."

Quinn grunted but her arm was still blocking Clem's entry into her house.

"Sorry, Quinn this is Clem, she's my assistant."

"Oh and a whole lot more, Ms Berry here would be nothing without me." Clem put one foot inside the door.

"I know that's not true." Quinn didn't clear a path.

"It's okay Quinn, she really is my backbone."

"Hard to believe." Quinn muttered, but stepped aside at Rachel's request.

Clem moved past her with a smirk that left Quinn wanting to push her back outside.

As Rachel embraced her assistant, Quinn watched on, they were clearly very close.

"I've been trying to reach you all day. Fuck Rachel. Phone?" she grabbed Rachel's purse and pulled out her cell. Turning it back on and holding it up as the messages came in.

"Whoa what is happening?" Rachel screeched and Quinn cringed.

"Only one Mr Matthew Johansen wants to see a certain Berry lady! It's big. He's written something and he's written it with you in mind."

"Oh god." Rachel clasped a hand to her chest, this really was big.

Quinn watched as the excitement lit up her face and it made her smile too, even if she knew what it meant. She'd just got to get to know Rachel and now it was coming to an end. That face said it all.

"This is it Rachel." Clem gripped Rachel by the arms.

"No," Rachel stopped, shaking her head in disbelief, her excitement replaced by a doubt.

"It's not a musical. It's a drama and it's edgy and it's something else. I've read the few pages he sent through. This is what you wanted, what you've been waiting for all these years."

"I'm not, no. Things are different now." Rachel's eyes moved to Quinn and Clem followed the look. Scowling as her eyes met Quinn's.

"You know Rachel is better than this?" Clem turned her attention to Quinn. "A high school glee club! Seriously!"

"Clem, please!" Rachel frowned. She was trying to listen to some of the voicemails, but now her focus was back on Quinn. She knew this was a big deal, Clem wouldn't be here otherwise and Quinn had just told her she was working on her marriage. She didn't need Rachel here at all, that was painfully obvious. A little too painful.

"I'll just go clear up." Quinn left them alone in her front room. She knew Rachel was about to go. Things had changed the second the doorbell rang.

She was just loading the dishwasher when she heard a cough behind her.

"You think she's better off here?" Clem was stood in the doorway. She'd left Rachel to take a call in the other room.

"I think Rachel was born to be a star."

"Good, so you won't get in the way of her leaving."
"How would I do that?" Quinn scoffed.

"I need you to sign this. Its standard, just at the bottom there." Clem pushed a piece of paper in front of Quinn and pointed to the dotted line.

"What is this?" She picked it up but couldn't make sense of it.

"A non-disclosure agreement, I'm guessing Rachel hasn't thought to mention one before, she gets so sloppy when I'm not around."

"For what?"
"It's not what Rachel needs right now. She can't have the general public knowing she's gay, that's just how it works and this is her big shot, the one she has talked about for years the one she's craved. We both know Rachel didn't leave Broadway because she was tired, she was just looking for something to fill her private life and it seems she may have found that."

"Excuse me." Quinn was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Rachel can fill any theatre, they love her. She's lying to herself and everyone here if she says different and most of all she loves it. She loves being on that stage. Whatever is going on with her right now, well, it's seems to involve you. So if you could sign this and then I can at least rest a little easy as I help get her career back together."

"Rachel's gay." Quinn's eyes widened and Clem quickly realised her mistake.
"For her sake, please sign."

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt Rachel and I really don't need to sign that." Quinn pushed the paper back at Clem.

"What's going on?" Rachel had finished her call and walked into the kitchen to find Clem and Quinn staring at each other.

"Just talking." Clem stuffed the document in her purse. "Its time we got moving."

"We can talk tomorrow...I'm having dinner and staying over."

"It really can't wait." Clem pursued.

"It's okay Rachel." Quinn had found her glass of wine and was quickly emptying it's contents. "You two go. Talk, do what you need to do."

Rachel blushed with embarrassment. She was meant to be spending the evening with Quinn, but knew Clem wouldn't leave now.

"Thank you for tonight." Rachel picked up her purse and leaned in, kissing Quinn on the cheek. "It really was lovely."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Quinn blushed. Her head was spinning and all she knew in that moment was that Rachel was about to leave and chase a new dream. Once Quinn had pushed her to go but right now she wanted to stop her, but she had no words to say.

"I'll call you." Rachel smiled apologetically.

"Night."

"Nice to meet you Quinn." Clem paused at the door, but Quinn didn't return the compliment. She closed the door and fell back against it, but it didn't stop the room from spinning a round her.