Chapter 8:

"Quinn. Quinn. Quinn." Kurt giggled and Rachel watched him on the screen, her face set to stone.

"I thought I could talk to you," she huffed.

"You can," he at least pretended to look apologetic. "So…you like Quinn." he tried to hide his amusement this time. "For real like her. Because she's Quinn and you've always...well..."

"She's still with this husband."

"A husband is a bit of a problem, but you know I think she's always secretly had a thing for you. It's this feeling I have. What did she say again?"

"Not unless you mean it." Rachel repeated the words that had played in her head all night.

"Oh, yes, she so wants you. She wants you to mean it and to kiss her. You want to kiss her?"

"I..." Rachel blushed and felt relieved that he probably couldn't see that through his computer screen. "She's the prettiest girl..."

"You ever met! yes yes we all know that. We also know that you aren't averse to being with a woman, but it's Quinn! Is she what you want?"

"She is something else. Not that girl we knew in High school."

"But you had a thing for High school Quinn, admit it!" he joked and she grinned.

"I don't know though. We're just making way as friends. I don't think I should mess with that or with someone that's married."

"You two were never friends, never meant to be. You're too fiery."

"Passionate." Rachel whispered. She'd been developing feelings for Quinn, but perhaps they'd always been burning underneath and none of this was coming as news to her. If she was truly honest she'd felt perhaps she'd been suppressing her feelings for so long that it really was a surprise to see them surface now. That first morning she'd seen Quinn something familiar had hit her in the stomach, but she pushed the feeling aside, yet it came back whenever she was with Quinn. Like butterflies whirling in her tummy, she got nervous, excited, and she liked it.

"Talk to her." Kurt interrupted her thoughts.

"I can't." Rachel shook her head, it was getting too confusing. Quinn hadn't given her any signals that she could be certain of until last night.

"Then kiss her."

"I can't do that either."

"What if this thing takes off? What then? You go back to work and we both know you'll find it hard to get out of New York then. You'll be left wondering what if."

"I'll see her at school before I leave and I'm sure once we're both sober it'll be different."
"Sure, tell yourself it's nothing, but you know deep down, you do and you can do this Rach. Sorry, I've got to get back. Karen is waving at me from the door, I'm due on set. Love you!"

"Love you too."

"Kiss her!" Kurt screamed as he disconnected their call. Rachel laughed as she closed her laptop. She found her Dad in the kitchen reading the newspaper. She'd breezed in and out of their house these last few days, but it all seemed as comfortable as when she'd lived here all those years before. She enjoyed being in a home. In New York she had an apartment to herself and it was beautiful but often lonely.

"Everything okay?" he peered over the top of his glasses.

"I think so." She nodded, but she had a lot on her mind and it showed.

"How's Quinn?"

"Good."

"And this new script?"

"Good."

"Well, that's good then," he returned to his newspaper and Rachel watched him for a heartbeat. She'd not been here when he was sick, but Quinn had. All things seemed to come back to Quinn. Maybe Kurt was right and she should just kiss her, let it happen and see.

She didn't want to get involved with someone that was married, but it felt so right and she knew Quinn was fooling herself over Greg. She'd admitted they were over and Rachel knew he didn't make her happy. Quinn was hiding in a safe little world and now Rachel was left wondering if the reason Quinn was hiding was because she felt something too.

"Everything is good," she smiled to herself and she actually thought it might be for the first time in a long time. She could save Quinn from making the wrong choice, Greg was not the one. He might be her best friend, but she shouldn't be giving up her own happiness just for his.

xoxo

"Quinn!" Rachel found herself rushing towards her car the second she saw it pull into the parking lot.

"Hi Rachel," Quinn took her time getting out of the passenger seat. Rachel hadn't even realised she wasn't alone.

"Hi," Greg walked around the car and handed Quinn her coffee. "Good to see you again, Rachel. Seems you keep appearing everywhere we go," he joked and sipped his drink. "Has Quinn told you the good news?" he continued before Rachel could think, she just watched as his arm snaked around Quinn's waist.

"Good news?"

"We're renewing our vows." Greg pulled Quinn closer and placed a kiss to her forehead. Quinn's eyes didn't leave Rachel's and they showed her internal struggle, but in that moment Rachel was dealing with her own.

"Oh wow, that's um, well, wow." Rachel stumbled over her words. "Congratulations," she finally managed to say cheerily.

"Thanks." Quinn mumbled.

"It'd be important to Quinn if you were there too? It'll be in a few weeks. Something intimate. We're really positive about this Rachel and its good that you can share it with us. We deserve it don't we baby? A new chance." His eagerness was too much for Rachel.

"Absolutely," Quinn nodded her agreement but her eyes were dull and Rachel didn't miss that Quinn wasn't enthusiastic at all.

"So you'll be there Rachel?"

"Absolutely," Rachel smiled. She smiled a little too much. Her eyes flitting from Quinn to Greg and back to Quinn.

"Well, I'll, um, see you in school." Quinn at least managed to look embarrassed at how eager she was for Rachel to go.

"You will." Rachel took her cue to leave and had to resist the urge to run, every step she took seemed so painstakingly slow she wondered if she'd ever get into the school. She looked back as she got to the main doors. She could see Quinn talking heatedly with Greg. Greg looked back at her and waved and she quickly went inside. This was not what she'd thought would happen this morning.

xoxo

Ten minutes after Rachel had got to the choir room, Quinn arrived. She didn't make a sound, but Rachel turned to look at her instantly. "Renewing vows? I thought…"

"I owe him a chance." Quinn replied, she'd got home last night, confused about what was happening with Rachel and when Greg talked she nodded. It was easy to agree, she felt so guilty. She'd felt jealous when she saw Jesse holding Rachel. It had changed how she saw things between them, but it wasn't something she could accept easily.

"You owe him? Wow." Rachel paced across the room. Not sure why she was feeling so bold, but knowing she had little chance to speak so freely as the one she had right now. "You said it was over, that's what you told me."

"It's never that simple. Surely you know that Rach."

"Surely I know…we…he…Quinn, he's not what you want. If he was then it would've worked. You wouldn't owe him a chance that he doesn't deserve. Its over. You said it yourself more than once." She wanted to scream that they'd come close to kissing last night, to ask what Quinn meant when she said not unless you mean it, but Quinn was building walls quicker than Rachel could think.

"He's my husband. That matters in my world and in front of god."

Rachel turned her eyes to the ceiling, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And he's what you want?" Rachel stopped pacing, stepping closer to Quinn.

"Yes," Quinn's eyes were fixed to a spot on the floor.

"I hope he makes you happy then." Rachel turned away and grabbed the folder she'd left on the piano. She had a script to learn and she had to make plans so that her glee club still had a chance at nationals without her. "I'm going to New York tomorrow."

"You are?" Quinn was stunned, she'd not expected Rachel to leave just yet.

"I don't belong here." Rachel shrugged. "I have things to work for." She'd not planned on going so soon, but she knew she couldn't be in Lima a minute longer.

"I'm happy for you." Quinn attempted a smile, but failed.

"I…" Rachel paused, she couldn't let it go. "Is it fair on Greg?"
"What?"

"He could meet someone that loves him too, you know that though. You talk about how he's a great guy, but you could let him…you could be brave and follow your heart." Rachel stopped at the doorway waiting for Quinn to say something, to realise what Rachel meant.
"I do love him." Quinn was quiet but her words cut into Rachel's heart. She didn't believe them, but she knew that Quinn did, or at least she was trying to.

"I think you're hiding." Rachel let out a breath, she was shaking and finding it hard to keep herself together. "This world you've built in Lima is small and its safe, but it's not for you. You're just hiding here and I think you know that."

"I'm not hiding." Quinn was still almost inaudible.

Rachel shook her head, but she couldn't say anymore. The tears were threatening to spill and she was hurting. All she wanted to do was run away. She couldn't fight when she knew Quinn wasn't hers to fight for. Accepting defeat, she walked back in the room and briefly hugged Quinn before grabbing her bag and leaving McKinley, not knowing if she'd ever return.