A/N Oh my god, I'm too good to you people. First it was chapter four LAST night then chapter five tonight (Actually, I was REALLY excited to get this up so I was fast and typed it up! Thank you everyone for your support, it means alot to me and I'm glad that you enjoy reading this fic! So get ready for the feels train (choo choo!) and now I present you, chapter 5

As Hide watched Kaneki stride quickly out of his hospital room he began to pray for Urie's sake. Sure, from what he remembered, a pissed off Kaneki meant lots of pathetic yelling and nothing getting accomplished. Now a pissed of Haise/Kaneki would probably mean trouble. Tightening his ponytail, Hide also exited the room and right out the front doors. Today was not a day he would visit Shinohara. Not now. Too many memories.

Hide couldn't help but feel a bit depressed, but that was mostly his moods now. Either apathy, anger, or depression. Usually he blamed it on the training in Germany, well the apathy, at least. He blamed Kaneki for being the central cause to his anger. They would have to sit down and talk one day, but Hide knew things between them wouldn't be the same, he was sure of it. But he was always confused when the depression rolled around and clouded his mind. Hide had battled depression when he was younger around the time his mother died, but it wasn't so heart-wrenching as it was today.

I don't have time for this! He thought. Well, I got some paperwork… might as well head home. Hide made his way about the sidewalks and people out there. The sky was overcast and gray. It had begun to drizzle. Just to match his mood. Fantastic.

Hide wriggled his keys out from the lock and opened the door to his apartment. Setting them on the counter and hanging his trench coat on a chair, he made a move to enter his office, then he glanced at the clock and groaned. 6:45 (A/N To go in chronological order with last chapter, Kaneki got out of the hospital at around 6:30, and right now he was verbally abusing Urie). Is it necessary to pull an all nighter? Hide thought to himself Do I want to pull an all nighter? Deciding it could wait, hide headed into the bathroom to freshen up. Looking into the mirror, he could see that the mask had come off. And boy did he look tired. After the quick glance he looked down at the sink and became fixated on that one point.

It was one of those times that Hide couldn't deny it, and it was those times that he was scared. It was those times when he had to admit, he hadn't plunged further into his depression without a cause. And that cause was him thinking that his best friend was dead. It was that time that he was scared, that he would relapse again and just keep getting in deeper than he already was.

Taking a deep breath, Hide held onto the sides of the counter-so tight his knuckles had turned white. He stared back up at the mirror to get a better look at himself. His face said it all. He had bags underneath his eyes, and all in all: He looked defeated. Hide finally had to admit it, seeing Kaneki again wasn't as easy as he originally thought it had been. Sure, he hadn't faked the anger, he really was pissed at Kaneki. Hide had pushed his feelings of relief down and replaced it with anger.

Instead of filling the crack, he had dug himself deeper.

With shaky hands, Hide opened a drawer to his right, and took out a pair of scissors. Taking hold of his ponytail, he began to snip at the extra hair. Why did he even keep it in the first place? It didn't even have any significance whatsoever to him! Thinking back on it quickly, Hide came to the conclusion that he wanted to be different from the other Hide. That's why he stopped dying his hair and kept the natural brown. That's why he acted so cold to everyone. He didn't want to be that person from before, the one who cared too much and got hurt the most.

Cutting through the final strands of hair, Hide let the no longer attached pony tail fall to the floor. Setting the scissors on the counter Hide looked up to see that the hair that had been pulled back, bangs and all, had falled down and added to his tired look. Hide didn't move at all, even though he should probably get his depression meds and take them to prevent a relapse, he just stared, and thought about everything. Finally, tears made their way down his cheeks and Hide made no effort to wipe them away.

Finally, Hide backed away to the wall and slid down resting his head on his knees and weeping softly, only thinking about how pathetic he was for doing so.

"Rank 1 Na- Washuu," Akira said loudly as she knocked loudly on the door. She knew he was home. Actually, the only reason why she had come there was because she wanted answers. While he was in the hospital, the doctor there had done a mental evaluation on Sasaki, and it showed results of him remembering. Akira was curious about who Sasaki had been before his… untimely demise 2 years before. Of course, Sasaki hadn't been the most mentally stable person in the world, but that didn't matter at the moment. Hideyoshi hadn't answered, which was fine, but also troubling.

Of course, Akira had no reason to worry. He was probably asleep, yes, that's it. It was after all 8:52, and an investigator would jump at any chance to sleep so…

Pushing down her nagging suspicion and worry, Akira turned around and left for home, knowing if she interrupted his precious sleep it wouldn't be the smartest thing she'd done all week. Besides, she had to feed Maris Stella.

Hide slowly pulled himself from against the wall and left the bathroom. Slowly walking down the hallway, he entered his room and lay on the bed. Even after that episode earlier, he didn't feel better. Well, at least he wasn't one to commit bodily harm.

Laying on his back, Hide realized he was still wearing his suit, jacket taken off of course. Dragging himself from the bed, he changed into a pair of sweats and a white shirt. Then Hide lay back onto the bed, curling into the fetal position and staring off into space.

Hide wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but it sure felt better there in his dreams than in reality.

A/N, so How do you guys like Depressed! Hide? Yes, I know, lots of personality changes and headcannons from moa, but I promise you, honestly, this is how Hide would be, am I correct? I'll get more in depth later, trust me! Anyways, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for next chapter! (Also, how did I do as far as writing Akira?)