A/N OH MY GOSH GUYS! IT IS HERE! I am sooo sooo sorry that I didn't get this up sooner, but I have it now! Sadly, I was experiencing Writer's block (And I was like "How am I going to continue this?") so yay, fun! (Not really!) So I hope you guys like this!

"The measure of love is to love without measure"

-attributed to Saint Augustine

The sunlight seemed to be a little too bright that morning for Hide's preference. The little rays that tickled his face and danced behind his eyelids seemed a little too happy for his dismal mood. Groaning, he glanced at his alarm clock, which read 7:00. Ok, so he wasn't late. Rolling over, Hide lay there with his thoughts, and contemplating freeing himself from the clutches of the hot and sticky blankets. He could remember a time when he didn't have to will himself to get out of bed and go on with his morning. God, he could hardly remember ever having to do that.

Hide ran a hand through his brown hair, then brought it down, stopping to play with one of the downy strands. He could remember when he had bleached the soft locks blond as a sunflower. Ha he thought I remember Kaneki had called me that once… Hide ran his hand through his hair and stopped short, then remembered the events of the past night in great detail. Oh shit, I let it get to me. Hide thought. I'm probably lucky I didn't wake up in the hospital like last time when…. his thoughts trailed off before he could finish that. He didn't want to anyways.

Finally Hide slowly dragged his body out of bed, and slowly made his way to the bathroom. The bathroom itself was a mess, to say the least. Even though Hide's recollection of the previous night was very hazy, the evidence left was enough to get a general idea.

For starters, there were brown locks of hair, where they had once hung down to his shoulders when it was down. Then he looked over to the floor, where the rugs were a bunched up mess and the towels were along with them. The scissors had somehow ended up on the floor at some point-probably during a time of indecision of whether to end it or not, and the glass of the mirror was cracked in the corner.

No blood that's good

Hide picked up the scissors and put them back in their respective drawer and looked up into the mirror. Holy shit. He looked bad, and that could be named "Biggest understatement of the year". His hair was in knots from where he had fitfully slept and wound his fingers through it, and he had dark bags underneath his eyes. He looked so much like his father it was scary, but there were other ways that he resembled his mother.

His hardheadedness, his sense of humor, his freckled skin and creamy complexion that turned a golden bronze when he got out in the sun, and his eyes. His eyes were almost exact replicas of his mother's, with their creamy mocha color and how they sparkled with life. But that life was gone, they looked empty and dead. They had since he had gone to Germany. Hide began to wonder how things would've turned out had his mother had still been there. She would've been understanding. He wouldn't have hit rock bottom if she had been there during his teen years.

Pushing the thoughts of his mother out of his mind, Hide began to get ready quickly, then left his apartment briskly, hoping not to be late, his mind and heart weighing him down.

Kaneki began to silently praise his acting skills, because had they not been so good, he would've been gone by then. Sure, the quinx had given him suspicious looks that morning, along with the sideways glances at Urie, who had a large angry welt on his cheek. Everyone seemed to be avoiding his gaze, and had given Kaneki fearful looks. But then again, they had never seen their mentor angry, or so physical, someone who was so gentle.

Kaneki could understand their confusion, but he had played it off the best he could that morning, and they seemed convinced. But what was funny, and this wasn't something he had noticed before, was how much the quinx resembled people he knew.

Saiko seemed most like Hinami with her childish nature, calling him "Maman" as a familial reference, such as the girl had called him "big brother". Shirazu's feistiness reminded Kaneki of Touka, but it also showed how she had matured over the years when he thought of her at :Re.

Mitsuki and Urie, they had really acted most like how Kaneki had in the past, Mitsuki was him when he had clung to his humanity, Urie the power hungry ghoul who was really lonely in the end; the tragic hero. Ok, so maybe not so much gusto and theatrics, but still, it was quite sad so see.

The air was tense in the kitchen/bar area, and Kaneki could feel it. The tension was so thick he could probably cut it with a knife. So, to relieve the pressure, Kaneki left to gather his things then to head out to the office.

As he entered his bedroom, his phone began to ring. He answered, a little startled.

"Rank one Sasaki" he said.

"Sasaki, you don't need to be so formal, it's me," Kaneki heard Akira's airy voice float through into his ear. He really should've checked his caller ID.

"Sorry, Akira," He apologized. "I didn't see it was you." He heard her chuckle on the other end.

"That's alright," She said in a friendly tone. "So listen, I know this is sudden and all, but you're needed in Cochlea."

Kaneki's blood chilled at the thought of going to the ghoul detention center. Even in Sasaki's persona, he always got the heebee-jeebees whenever he went there. Of course, it was mandatory, that was where he was administered his RC suppressants.

"Alright," Kaneki said, keeping his voice from wavering. "And why is that? Do they need to test a new quinque?" He added jokingly. He heard Akira pause on the other line, then sigh.

"Actually, I should rephrase that," she said in an exasperated tone. "You and Rank 1 Washuu will be going to Cochlea to question an SS rate ghoul for the investigation we will be taking over and we had received word that that particular ghoul knows more than we do." Kaneki's shoulders slumped at the mention of Hide. So I guess he would be seeing more of his old friend.

"Alright, Akira," Kaneki replied after a few seconds pause.

"Also, I need you to come to HQ before you head out to Cochlea to pick up a bit of paperwork. It's not much, so you should be done with it by tomorrow, am I correct?" Akira asked in a sickly sweet tone. Kaneki inwardly groaned. From his time taking the backseat in things, he had some time to observe, and "A little paperwork" mean ALOT OF PAPERWORK.

"Okay, Akira, goodbye," Kaneki said and he heard the other line click. Lovely.

While going along the short walk, Hide let his mind wander. It wasn't often that he allowed that to happen, but he would rather think of other things besides the copious amounts of paperwork he would be doing that day and probably into the night.

Usually, when Hide let his mind wander, it usually took him to a happier memory, or a funny thing he had seen before, or a song that he loved. But this time, his mind went on the track of his past, and to a part he really would never be able to explore. But it went there anyways.

Hide's mother was a loving woman, a half mexican-half japanese who had grew up in Texas and had moved to the 1st ward just after she graduated High School. That was where she had met his father, and that was where she had died.

If you could picture a stereotypical latino woman you would be nowhere close. She had long brown/black hair that was mostly in a bun or braid, her eyes were what Hide had taken after her, but with a slight curve that gave away her asian heritage, and the skin tone that Hide had taken too

She always had disliked his name, and never liked how she had to name Hide that for her husband, but she never complained. Yoshitoki was barely, if not ever, home and when he was absent, she would always call him what she had wanted to name him: Leo.

"Its meaning is courage, my little lion, remember that, and be strong." she had always said to him when he was sad or scared. She had always been there for him when he had nightmares, when he was sick, and when he needed a friend and there was none around.

Many would think that Hide's mother had died at the hands of a ghoul, being an investigator's wife and all, but actually, she had died of a tumor in her brain. She had died peacefully, with her family and with a smile on her face, and Hide could remember how she had called him Leo and how he had told that he loved her and-

Hide shook his head to clear it. Not now, he thought, I don't need to think about this right now. Crossing the crosswalk, Hide made his way up to the massive CCG building looming in the early morning fog. Akira must love torturing him, or she just wanted to… augh Hide would never figure out Akira for the life of him. Hide couldn't worry about that at the moment, however. They had a ghoul to interrogate.

A/N Heh, another Cliffie! Trust me, it'll get better, I love you guys. So sad past + Depressed Hide + Precious childs= Angst
So Yea, more on Hide's mother later, I just wanted to give you guys the just of it! SO STAY TUNED FOR NEXT CHAPTER CUZ I MIGHT MAKE THIS INTERESTING!

~3