New Chapter! Mostly because it was already written and I was like, eh why the hell not! Chapter three is in progress, so it shouldn't be long, and so is my other stories so do not worry my younglings!

Who the Frick Frack Diddly Dack Snick Snack are these Fuckers?

We listen to that CD now, we entered Kansas not too long ago and are making some smooth sailing north. We'd hit up stores and gas stations. Luna had OCD so she would organize everything we got and rationed it. We stopped at a gas station now, only two zombies outside and I stopped the car, the zombies already heading towards it.

I got out from the driver seat and gave the order. "Alright, usual run time, Mark you're up at the top like always, Kai you get gas, Ari, Lilly and I will run in and get food... anything we need?"

I turned to Luna who was counting everything up with Dwi before declaring. "We need more granola bars, chips, duct tape, and deodorant... everything else we're fine on, oh but fill up my water please." She then handed me her and Dwi's water bottles. I took one and Ari took his sisters, after she gave him a big hug. Slipping it inside our packs we got ready, I opened the sliding door and we leaped out, I got one of the zombies with my dad's knife while Ari beat the other one to gunk with the bat. We went into the shop and got everything on Luna's list first, then some candy and other things for the hell of it.

When everything was secured and we killed everything in sight I picked up my radio and called it. "Mark, everything's secure, get the others in for a bathroom break."

I waited, looking out the window as he got his radio and spoke in his usual depressing tone. "Okay." Mark doesn't really seem depressed by the apocalypse, he's always sounded depressed, but he's actually a cool guy. He's the tallest one by far with a total height of 6'4, so he seems really intimidating, but he's actually a big softy. The others came in and peed, Brumby went to pee, we lost my two cats a while ago while going through Oklahoma, they wandered off during one of the rare nights we camped outside and we couldn't find them again. Brumby was sad at first, but we make sure to give him lots of love and attention, and God knows he loves that. Everyone took turns going to the bathroom and Brumby kept watch by the car, he's our little protector, even before everything went to shit, he would whine when someone would leave and always make rounds during the night, making sure everyone in the house was alright. We excited the gas station, but as we walked back to the car, Mark noticed movement in the little shop market across the street.

"Hey, it looks like there's people in there." Oh no.

"People?!" Lilly and Kai, our two most carefree and optimistic people smiled and started to leap across towards the market. I told everyone to stay inside and I went after them, grabbing their arm and keeping them from barging inside as I pulled them to the window.

"Are you guys crazy?" I whisper-yell at them, "they could be weird rapy guys or worss, fuckboys!" The two blinked, realizing that they have to be careful before hearing a strange, scottish sounding voice that I heard too.

"What'd you think these are Merry?" Merry? What the fuck kinda name is that?

"I don't know Pip-" Pip?

"Hobbits, quiet, we don't know what's out there." A rugged sounding voice came now, and I had enough. I got my gun ready and lead the way, peering into the window and seeing four tall men, but I couldn't get a good look at them from the tinted windows, but one definitely had a hat on. There was then four children by the looks of it, all wandering around the men, and one has a little taller than a child, but had a beard.

"Looks like there's four adults, four children, and a midget with them." I whispered to my friends, and Lily gasped, leaning in and asking.

"As tall as me?" Lilly's the shortest one, so we always pick on her with things like that.

I leaned in, eyes and smile playful. "Maybe even shorter!" She brought her hands to her mouth, gasping playfully. Suddenly though I heard voices again and shushed her, leaning my ear in the wall and listening to his really weird language being softly spoken. Then there was silence, and I got really nervous, I pulled out my gun, ready to breach when suddenly the glass above us shattered and a hand grabbed Kai. She screamed and was pulled in as Lilly leaped the window and I crashed into the building via door. I aimed my gun at the nabber as Lily was being held back by another man, red hair and in black leather, holding a... sword at Lilly? I looked at the one holding Kai, dark rugged hair in tattered clothing with a longer sword aimed at Kai who was held against one of the racks. I aimed my gun at the one holding Kai, trying to avoid shooting him. "Hey! We don't want any trouble, just let them go and we'll be on our way." The two eyed me and the gun very oddly, looking at my freinds and back at me. The rugged one though let Kai go and they ran to me, he then sheathed his sword and spoke. "Peace ladies, we did not mean to frighten you, but we do not know where we are..." He looked around again as the other let go of Lilly, she back up towards me, her eyes suspicious.

I looked at the others, noticing their very odd clothing, so these guys came from like a renaissance fair and got high right? I mean they have swords, a bow, an axe, and a staff!

"Well you're in Kansas, USA, smack down in the middle of a zombie apocalypse." I replied, expecting them to nod to at least know where they were, but they stared at me in complete confusion.

The old bearded fella stepped forward now, leaning heavily on his staff and speaking sweetly. "Well then it appears that we are lost, you see we descended from the great mountain caradhras, and we went to bed at the slope of the mountain and woke up... here." He looked around the store, and Lilly opened to stupid mouth.

"I guess you could say you're not in Kansas anymore!"

The others stared at her, and one of the little ones spoke. "But... I thought we were in Kansas?"

"We are." I speak again, "Lilly just likes to be an asshat." I didn't bother to see her reaction, but I heard Kai snickering so I know that her look was funny. Alright well, if these guys did just appear hear from this weird ass sounding place, they surely won't survive a night out here... aw shit. "Okay, well you guys might as well come with us, you won't survive a night if you don't know what you're doing, so lets go." I motioned them to follow and they began to slowly follow, but red hair sword man spoke.

"What do you mean?"

Kai now took the chance to reveal their voice. "Well we're in the infamous zombie apocalypse, where the undead arise and wreck shit up while eating everyone else and turning them undead." By their looks from the explanation they didn't seem understand any better, but luckily there was a zombie lurking around and I pointed at it with my knife.

"See that." they turned towards it, "that is a zombie, she died, eaten by the arm by the looks of it, and became one of them. No brain, no thoughts, no emotions, just an endless hunger that drives them to walk forever, never resting." Most eyed the undead with shock, unable to process it.

"That... was a living women at one point?" The blonde one asked, swallowing and scrunching his nose in disgust.

I nodded and answered plainly. "Yep, and now she's not. Don't think about it that way though, just think that they died and went to wherever they're destined the go and this is just their meat suit. Watch and learn." I spoke before approaching the zombie, getting Lilly's machete along the way I slashed at the legs, the gooey skin and weak bones snapping and breaking away under it and fell to the ground, I then back up and it still crawled towards me, with all mock speed! I then took the machete into the head, the gurgling stopped and it fell limp. I turned and walked back towards the others, staring in amazement as the others started to file out of the car. "You wanna kill one of those suckers, you aim for the head, got it?" They all nodded, understanding now. I smiled and noticed the others approaching us, eyeing the strange men.

"Oh, I should probably introduce you guys..." I mumbled. "Ari, Mark, Dwi, Luna, these are... what're you guyses names." I turned to one of the little ones, and they were fully ready to answer, but oldy spoke first.

"I am Gandalf the Grey, these are my companions Aragorn son of Arathorn, Boromir of Gondor, Legolas of the woodland realm, Gimli son of Gloin. And these are the hobbits, Peregrin Took, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Samwise Gamgee, and Frodo Baggins." Alright... weird names.

I nodded and turned to the others, explaining. "Yeah, they'll be traveling with us for a while... because they got lost and can't find their way around, just don't question right now." I waved off, leading them to the car which they looked at in amazement. As they stared though, Brumby saw the new guests and charged towards them, wagging his tail less butt and attacking the new ones with hugs and kisses. Literally, he jumped towards blonde mean... Legolas right? anyway he wrapped his paws around his waist and placed his head against his stomach. Legolas lifted his arms in surprise, but laughed a little and started to pet the white haired with red merle Australian shepherd.
"Okay, so I see a problem." Ari began, "so your car has seven seats... and now there are 16 of us... we're not all gonna fit!" Oh shit, well that puts a damper in the mood. I looked at the car, the navy blue, 2004 minivan that has been with us through the worst.

"Alright, get everything in the car and let's keep walking, I think there's a camping ground not too far from here that'll have RV's." They all nodded and the others began to get everything out of the back. They reappeared later, food and water and everything else in bags. Luna handed me the CD and I got my share and we began walking onward. The nine were quiet for a while, but when the midget... Gibli? Aw fuck I'm so bad at remembering names, but he gruffly asked what the food was being answered in, we replied with "plastic" and apparently that invited the hobbits to start talking about the Shire. I've got to say, that place does sound pretty cool, rolling green hills, all the food and beer you can eat while everyone is nice and sweet. Man I wanna go there! We walked and they talked, the others were very quiet, but Gandolf and Gibli would add commentary here and there. Mostly though, when they talked it was questions, what is this? A gun, it goes boom and things die. What about that? That's a radio, you press a button and talk into one and the noise comes out of the other. Why are those so big? They're telephone poles, the wires carry electricity across so everyone can have it. On and on and on and on! Like, Jesus Christ you'd think they'd run out of questions after an hour of questions! Finally we climbed a hill and I saw the sign for the camp sight.

Turning I gave the orders. "Alright, Mark stay here and be a look out for them, I need our fastest runners. So It'll be me, Kai-"

"I'll go with you." Legolas spoke, giving a small smile. Oh, well okay.

"I will as well." Ara... gorn? chimed in, sweet, a four person runner!

I smiled gave Brumby some scratches before holding my hand flat. "Stay here boy." He panted like he always did, and we four headed out I heard his little whines. See, giant fucking baby. We four jogged onward towards the campsites, creeping silently through the woods. After about five minutes of a good jog we reached a large clearing, tents and RV's everywhere! We dropped behind some bins and scanned the area, Legolas and Aragorn looking more intrigued than us. I tried to decided which one would be the best fit, too old, too small, too new...

"What about that one." Lego-what's-his-face suddenly spoke, pointing to one in the shade of the trees, perfect! I smiled, nodding and we made our ways towards it, Kai and I were first; slashing at the zombies wandering in the area as we went. Aragorn and Legolas trailed behind, Aragorn stabbed at ones here and there, and Legolas would shoot ones slowly coming towards us. I got into the RV and began looking at the keys as Legolas went to retrieve his arrows.

"I would wash those." Kai told, "anything you shoot with their blood will turn into a zombie." Legolas nodded and carefully held the infected arrows as I found the keys on the dashboard. I put the keys in the ignition and twisted, the engine coming to life.

"Get in!" I yelled and the three filed in, Legolas and Aragorn stared in amazement, oh baby this'll be fun! I slammed on the gas and we revved forward, running over the zombies on the hood. As we moved, Aragorn and Legolas stared in terror, grabbing onto everything they could. We traveled up the hill, and oh man I'm fighting a serious impulse to lay on the horn and scare the shit out of them, but then that'll attract zombies. Still, when we went over the hill, the others jumped in terror, haha that's funny! I went to the side, opening the door I smiled and piped. "Get in losers, we're surviving the zombie apocalypse!" Lilly did her pterodactyl noise, Luna laughed, and Mark and Ari groaned. They all got in, the foreigners looking around in shock and curiosity, and it quickly turned to terror once again as we moved onward. The group of men eventually started to relax, sitting on the couches next to Dwi and the others who got everything situated, by "others" I mean Luna who was sitting on the floor, organizing all the food and what not into the cupboards.

As they sat in silence, Bromir suddenly asked a question. "My lady, where are you planning on going?" I looked in the rear view mirror to see where he was seated, the hobbits were sharing one couch with Gandolf while Aragorn, Bromir, and Gibli had the other one. Legolas was standing, leaning against the wall and eyeing everything with his bright blue eyes... suspicious much?

"Well, the plan is to travel up north, past the great plains and into Canada where, if we're lucky, nice Canadian refugees will accept us. If that doesn't work out though, we then go west into Alaska and then into Russia." We conjured up the plan on the first night, we were all gathered around the maps, looking for the best route to safety. The redhead nodded and sat back, probably confused by all the "weird" names. We kept driving until the sun started to set, by then we were all tired and hungry and ready for bed. Luckily we were on a highway, and past experiences has shown that highways are perfect for sleeping! Luna and Lilly got dinner ready, passing out some chips and beans. We all ate silently, Brumby carefully munched on his food and the hobbits were extremely fascinated in all the food we had, but Luna refused to give them some more.

"Look in case you haven't noticed, there's no one to restock the food anymore." She explained, her debate knowledge seeping through, "so we have to be careful about what we eat and how much we eat, and now that you all are here we're going to need more food." She looked at me as she was saying that. Out of everyone she is the most terrified and strict about everything.

"Oh shut up and come eat, we'll get everything sorted out!" I ordered and she sighed and marched over to me, sitting outstretched like me and placed her head on my shoulders.

Sam, the sweet one, now spoke up all polite like. "So, are you all the only ones here?" What, in the world? Ha! I'm sure a few rednecks are still camped out in Florida.

"Nah, we were in a few refugee camps for a while, but right when I heard of some danger, we got out and left. It's better for us to stay together." He nodded, going back to his beans which the other hobbits were practically done with, damn these guys eat fast.

"So are you the leader of this group?" Aragorn now spoke, carefully eating his food.

I smiled, giving a small nod I replied. "Well, pretty much yeah, but everyone has their main jobs. Luna is our organizer, rationer, and babysitter for Dwi. Lilly is basically our comedic relief and the designated short one. Kai is our strategist, the planning for what to do with whatever. Mark is the tall one, so he's our eyes and all with his bow. Ari is the smart one, he invents new things and improves on what needs to be. Dwi is the kid, but she's also our girl to remember the date. Finally I lead the group, making sure we all stay sane."

Lego... you know what fuck it, blondy now turned to Mark, giving a warm smile. "You know archery?"

Mark, for the first time in like... ever, smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it was just a hobby before this all started, but now it's kinda useful." Kinda? Mark honey, you're like the best archer ever!
"So how long has this been going on?" Gibli spoke one of the rare times in his gruff voice.

We all turned to Dwi who promptly stated. "Well it started the day before Valentines Day and now it's the April 17th, so 70 days." Ohh, only four more days until spring! The others stared at her in amazement, and I felt Luna tangle her hands in mine, she is also a nervous wreck most of the time.

Froyo though saw this, and his little curious mind got the best of him. "Why are you two holding hands?" The others quickly looked down at us two, and Lilly even got her bat ready.

"Because we're a couple." Luna stated, giving Froyo a "no-shit-Sherlock" look. The others stared but it wasn't the fear kind of stare. Most saw us and just went back to eating or whatever else.

"So... it's alright?" I asked cautiously, unlike the chilled out men, my friends aren't as carefree as they used too.

Gandolf looked back at me, the blue orbs kind and wise. "Well of course, in my time of living I have met several couples like you two. Men with men, women with women, there was even a man who was actually born a woman." He gave a gruff laugh before continuing, "just because they love differently doesn't mean they are different." Damn he's one smart wizard!

"Thank you!" I sighed, "you see, before everything went to shit, there was a bit of a dilemma with us. The white crusty men republicans didn't like that a women liked a women, because it was 'ungodly!'"

Luna now chimed in. "Ohh god forbid two girls like each other, but you cannot take away our guns!" Oh no, okay so now everyone is just making republican comments and intimidating Rick Perry and Mitch McConnell. The new ones seemed to be rather amused by this, and were even chuckling by our comments. We finished out rambles and got everything ready for bed, Ari did first watch, sitting by the door with his bat in hand. We all got blankets set out and pillows, the hobbits slept curled up together on the floor, Ara... again gorn? Was against the wall by me and my position against the wall by the small bedroom, curled up with Luna with Dwi on the small bed. Bromir was on the other side of the RV, sword in hand, I'm going to assume He's paranoid. Gibli had the nice couch, his excuse was his load of armor which he didn't want to take off, again, paranoid. Brumby was sleeping by the door as well, kicking in his sleep from dreaming. Mark was laid out on the floor and taking up most of the RV, along with blondy who was also stretched out, hands on chest, and blue eyes open... creepy! Kai had their head on Mark's stomach and curled up all sweet like, Lilly was on the other, less nice, fold out couch because it her was turn for nice things. Finally Gandalf had the master bedroom to himself, he was old and you know... respect your elders and all that crap. Many didn't sleep very well, Bromir was the biggest one, always shifting in his place and looking out. Being on the highway is good for sleeping, not a lot of zombies and it's pretty quiet, but that just makes the rare zombies more creepy when they bump into the car and gurgle. Eventually I fell asleep, hearing Aragorn mumble and sing a nice little song for us.

Yay! Ya'll enjoy it? I enjoyed writing it! Now the miss pronunciations were totally intentional as you will see next chapter!