Chapter 3 – Pepper is the Salt of Earth

"Are you hungry by any chance, Mr. Upshur?", Waylon asked as they were strolling in the halls of Mount Massive. Miles patted Waylon on the back, and told him "Call me Miles, buddy. And yes, I could bite a thing or two".

Waylon gave him an odd look. "Strange, 'I Could Bite a Thing or Two' is how the next exhibition is called, but it is rather a gastro-show. It is the work of Frank Manera and one of the enthusiastic executives of Murkoff, Richard Trager."

Weird enough, the door to the gastro-show was first locked. Miles proceeded in knocking and after a brief moment of waiting, the door was swung open and an impatient, grubby, long-haired person occupied their sight. "What is that you want? The cake is not ready, tell Gluskin that he will have to wait longer to get his friggin' precious cake!"

"Excuse me, I am a guest videographer and I am here to shoot some footage for my show", interrupted Miles. "Who are you, if I might ask?"

"Name's Manera, man, hold on a sec.", answered Manera, secretly (or not so secretly) eyeing their unclad body parts. Then he looked past his shoulder and checked the part of the room Miles and Waylon could not behold and nodded. "'kay, come on in."

Tables inhabited the room, with curious-looking dishes on top of them. They all looked pretty raw to Miles' taste. The room was separated from the kitchen, from where they heard the hustle and bustle of a fourth person, most probably Trager's.

"When they said that I can cook with organic food I felt hecka' excited, but it later turned out they meant mostly veggies. Not that I have a problem with veggies. Or green stuff, y' know what I'm saying it's just they always give me the goddamn munchies and it's hard to get what a man really wants around these parts", Manera spewed. "Trager is a bit tied up at the moment, busy finishing the cake for the wedding."

"What wedding?", Miles eagerly asked, but Waylon's question preceded his. "So you will have a menu for vegetarians, too?"

"Or they will be on the menu, bro", replied Manera sinisterly, then laughed like a hyena. It made Miles' flesh creep.

Miles and Waylon interchanged looks (they were on the same wavelength by now) and started for the kitchen. "If it's not a problem, we would still like to talk with Mr. Trager", said Miles. Manera shrugged and went back to drool over a meaty dish.

The two men cautiously opened the door to the kitchen. They could barely make out the shape of Trager, with all the rushing and hurrying, but what they could hear was the following:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but no one can take my notes. So sing along, pal and buddy, and bake the cookie, glaze the pudding. Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don't cook I'll have to slice you.", right at this point, he turned around and tossed a large pair of rusty shears in the air in the direction of the eavesdroppers. Miles and Waylon jumped back, bumping into Manera, who pushed them back in.

"Oh my! I merely intended on impressing you buddies with my punny skills!", apologised Trager. "Though I am more than busy with preparing for this silly wedding. Wanna lend me a hand? Oh, is that a camera? Why not start our gastro-blog? We could name it, let's see, 'Trager and Manera - Better than Cholera'. What do you think, gentlemen?"

"Amazing idea", Miles admitted. "It waters my mouth just to discuss this with you, but I am afraid we have to visit other shows as well.". Waylon savagely waggled his head up and down.

"Have heart, man!", Manera stepped closer.

It was an intensely stressful situation; neither side was willing to give in. Fortunately, Miles had one on the spur of the moment-idea that could help both of them escape.

"What about a cooking contest? The two of you against us, huh? I just turned the tables, buddies! Are you ready to be smashed by my superior culinary skills?", Miles swagger'd.

"So you wanna gave us a taste of our own, right buddy?!", Trager exclaimed.

"Bring on the fight, videographer! What you gonna do, record us to death?", Manera tauntingly said.

Miles swiftly grabbed a piece of red meat, and threw it at Manera. His eyes went all goggly, and before he knew it, he jumped up and caught the fresh red meat mid-air with his mouth. Trager attempted at attacking Waylon, but he managed to defend himself from the blow of the shears by sprinkling pepper in his assailant's eyes. And out of kindness, he sprinkled pepper on Manera's meal, too.

"Just stay here and cook, a**holes!", Miles blurted out before running away hastily.