A/N: I said my updates would be better paced and for that I apologise. I've had a lot on my plate, but I like to think I'm improving my coping mechanisms. Again, I welcome all reviews and feedback you have to give. Thank you.

When the big hand moves there when the little hand is there there will be TV and the little hand is already there and the big hand is far from there but that will make Joan sad and it is not right that Joan is sad because Joan is always sad or giggling then really really sad and looking away so she has to let TV come and be quiet and is not allowed to know what the big hand is called because she does not deserve to know and because she is not allowed to listen to Joan and she wishes TV were here now but then there is the word she hears from everyone except Joan who would make TV come faster

Wait.

Then there is a sound which is a strange sound which comes from over there and over there is the door and she cannot see what made the sound so the sound came from something she did not know which is scary but the sound is the door but that is wrong because it only makes a sound when she has the five pills in the morning from the blue pointy box that was pointy all over but Joan said was nice so it must be nice because she is stupid and everyone around her knows better so Joan knows better so it is nice and wintery but what is wintery and what is snowflake shaped when she wakes up and her arm feels tight and Joan says "sorry" and rubs her stomach until the tight goes away which is nice and it is wrong for the door to make a noise at the wrong time because everything needs to be neat and tidy and in place and

Joan leaving.

Joan gone.

Joan never coming back.

Panic and panic and panic and Joan is back and smiling but odd smiling like when she giggles and looks sad and then a stranger and she is not supposed to leave when TV is coming so why is there a stranger but the stranger is not the usual kind of stranger and the stranger is not talking to her and the stranger is not moving her bed and the stranger is just there and the stranger is not like all the other strangers

Stranger?

"Elsa? Elsa, can you hear me?"

Not saying anything and not saying a word and still not saying a word and

"It's me. Anna. Your sister. Re - remember me? Elsa?"

Hurt.

"That won't work ma'am."

Stranger is not a ma'am because Joan says ma'am to strangers who are girls and sound like ma'ams but Joan says ma'am to strangers who do not sound like ma'ams and then they chuckle and say Joan is too polite because Joan is too polite and Joan is good and

"Why not?"

"Elsa's not... good with strangers. You can't expect her to just open up to you like that."

"But I'm not a stranger. I'm her sister!"

Something is wrong and the air is wrong because the not a ma'am is too close and

"You just need a reminder, don't you Elsa? Like this!"

And the stranger is gone and she wonders if she is gone forever because nothing different ever happens and she is just dreaming the wrong thing and she'll wake up and the stranger will not be there because she may not be a stranger and nothing like that ever comes to see her

"Psst!"

Too loud and too quick and too scary and the stranger is still talking and is too close and quiet and loud and Joan is talking again and the girl is talking again and

Don't.

Joan is still talking and now she is talking about her and that is not right because Joan always looks at her when she talks about her and expects her to talk but she never talks if she does not have to because she does not deserve to talk because she is horrible and she cannot talk and

"you KNOW IT!"

The girl is loud and she is shocked and bed shakes but beds do not shake unless there is a stranger or Joan behind it and doors are passing by so it must be something else that shook because her arms moved more and the stranger is still loud and scary and she said strangers and her mouth opens even though she does not like making noise because it is messy which is creepy and the girl has to be a stranger because otherwise and the girl is still talking and it is still scary and her mouth moves again which is still scary and the girl makes a noise which is wrong because they both made a sound and the girl is loud

Again.

"Like, she had her birthday about three weeks ago, right? What did you do for her? Give her cake? Throw her a party?"

Birthdays are bad and she does not deserve cake because she is bad and she does not deserve anything because she is worse than nothing and Joan is quiet and talking and the stranger is still talking louder and louder and now imagining which is bad because she imagines the same thing over and over and it hurts and hurts and stranger yells again and she makes a sound too because she does not want to think but she has to and

Hurt.

And there is a bang over there and the door is there so maybe a right stranger is there and there will be a head over her and Joan will be there and the stranger will leave and there will be TV and she will not have to think but the stranger there right now is still talking and she is still talking and she goes quiet then

"Isn't it?!"

And it is really really sad and it is all her fault and there is a sound from the bed but there is nothing on the bed except her and it was really close and her throat is hurting and there are more sounds and she needs to go away and her head is hurting and she is happy she is hurting because she needs to hurt and go far far away because she did it again because the stranger is not a stranger and never was a stranger and she knows she has known all along and she is stupid and all the big words she does not understand because she is stupid and all those because she always sees what she did and now she has done it again and again even though she always remembers

Don't hurt Anna again!

A man made his way down a high, crimson corridor, his back bent from the effort he had expended in the estate's study. He ran his right hand over his head, his fingers skimming over the ever-growing bald patch at its center, eroding the red locks he had once been proud of. But that had been long ago. He had been a younger man then. Brighter. Happier. He ran the same hand over the bulge of his stomach.

And healthier.

Ahead he saw a patch of light on the muddy green carpet and looked up at the window through which the weak illumination came. It wasn't sunny or cloudy outside; the sky just seemed empty, grey and dull. He hadn't seen much of it, having spent the day poring over books and records, but it was fitting weather nonetheless for his line of his work.

Kai sighed as he resumed his journey. Both his discovery and the prospect of informing his employer weighed on his mind and yet he smiled: the stress wouldn't help his hairline either. His smile faded as he considered the timing. That concerned him most. Of all the days he could have made a breakthrough, why did it have to be today? He bit his lip. He could withhold the information. For a few days at least. That wouldn't hurt, would it? But Agdar saw things through a different lens than him; though he loved his family, he was a firm believer in dealing with situations as they arose and never putting anything on hold if you could help it.

The tome under Kai's left arm was beginning to hurt. He flexed his limb and winced. He had given his orders for the day and Agdar wouldn't be home for a few hours. If he could keep the book safe, he could rest his eyes until then. Yes, that could work. Even the thought of a nap seemed magical for him and it was with a second smile that he switched the book to his right arm and took another step.

"Oof!"

It took Kai a moment to register the brief resistance his leg had encountered and another for him to look down, frowning. The resistance picked itself up and made a show of dusting itself off and, satisfied no dirt had clung to its back, looked up at him with a pout. She adjusted the black hairband framing her hair, so blonde it was almost white. Kai's first thought was panic at knocking over something so fragile. He had felt bone in the impact.

That was all the girl was: skin and bone.

"Where did you come from? Where are you running off to? Where's Nala?"

Elsa's eyes darted to behind the wooden chair beside them, wide enough for three people, and answered his first question. The mischievous grin gave way to the pout when her eyes returned to him just as quickly and she placed her hands on her hips to complete what was - she clearly hoped - an imposing figure.

"Where you?"

Kai said nothing and tried not to laugh when Elsa stood still, glaring at him. He was content to let the stalemate last as long as she was capable of maintaining it but acquiesced when her cheeks turned red. Elsa grinned at the flicker of shock that passed over his face and gasped for breath, her entire body rocking back and forth. Kai placed his book on the left seat of the chair as Elsa's face returned to its original colour, hoisted her into the right and knelt before her. Their eyes level, he met her expectant gaze as he wondered how to start. A small smile crept its way up his cheeks and he let it grow, only smiling wider when Elsa beamed once more. She knew she could make him do anything.

"You know how Mama and Papa give you sweets when you behave?" Elsa nodded and he couldn't resist placing his hands on either side of her waist and giving her a gentle shake. "You like it when they do that, don't you?" She giggled despite the hand she placed before her mouth.

"Yeah!"

"Grown ups get something for good behaviour - when they do good things too. But someone here has been very naughty."

She gasped and this time closed her mouth with both hands. "Why?"

"People do strange things sometimes."

"Who?"

"You don't know them Elsa, but I spent today reading up on all the bad things they've done." Here Elsa pointed to the book and he nodded, patting her waist with a smile. "And now I need to tell your father. Do you understand?"

Elsa didn't, but she nodded anyway. After all, it wouldn't do to let Kai think she wasn't smart. He chuckled, then closed his eyes and shook his head for some reason before patting hers. She checked her hairband.

"Your turn Elsa."

There was silence as she deciphered the statement and when she did she blushed. It took another pause, shorter this time, before she began. "Thing ha - happ - happ - hap'd..." She frowned and focused on Kai's right cheekbone.

"Happened?"

"Yeah!" She looked back at him. "Yeah, happedened! Happeden - " Her smile fell and she scrunched her face. Kai spared her the pain.

"And what do you think happened?" She shook her head and grinned when she opened her eyes.

"See - cret!"

They had another stalemate. It occurred to him that Elsa was often lost in a world of her own, so her secret could be anything. On the other hand there was a big change coming to the household; something she had been anticipating for months. He hadn't seen her excitement, but everyone in the manor had heard it many times, always followed by Agdar or Ithun begging for her silence.

"You'll get something nice if you tell me."

And that was all it took.

"Choc'late!" She brought her hands together with a loud clap and held them there as though in prayer. She shuddered, grinning. "Mama Papa gone!"

Kai smiled as he gave himself a small nod. They were on the same page after all.

"And that's a good thing?"

"Yeah! Papa said if Mama dis - dis - " she hunched her back and pouted. Her mouth trembled and Kai opened his to help before she tried again "dis-a-peer'd," she sat up, back straight with pride "we get a new Prrince or Prrin-cess!" She fought a lisp to finish the sentence, took a deep breath and beamed.

"And you want to see this new Prince or Princess?"

"No! Yeah! ... I va - wan - t... to help!"

He chuckled and stroked her hair. Elsa winced and he withdrew his hand immediately, concerned. She ran hers through her locks, checking for disturbances. When she found none she patted her head with both hands once, twice then placed them between her knees, right hand above her left. He thought it safe to continue when she smiled and did so as if nothing had happened. "There's no need for that. Your father spoke with me a while ago. You have a beautiful new Princess named Anna."

Elsa's face lit up like a beacon. Her eyes sparkled as she whispered the word. "Anna..."

"No, it's Ah-na," he corrected, raising his right forefinger and bending it slightly with each syllable "not Ann-na. I know there are a lot of those around, but you won't make that mis - you won't get that wrong, will you?"

Elsa's joy turned to horror. She shook her head so fast it became a blur. "Ahh-na! Ahh-na! Sorry Ahh-na!"

Kai chuckled gently as he held her hands in his and raised them so they hovered between them. "That's alright. I'm sure she won't mind." She was looking at their hands. "But do you know what this means?" She met his eyes and cocked her head. "It means you're a big sister now." He let her mutter the phrase to herself. "Do you know what that is?"

Elsa paused, then shook her head. Big sister sounded important. More important than Kai knowing how smart she was.

"It means you always have to be a good girl and look after her. You need to make sure she's comfy and never hungry and... there's a lot of work. Are you ready for that?"

She nodded with conviction. "Uh huh!"

"Are you sure? Running away wasn't a good start, was it?" Elsa's eyes widened for a split second. She shook her head and hung it, blushing. "And I think you should be heading back, don't you?" She gave a quick nod. When Kai said nothing she looked up to see him looking to her right. She followed his gaze to Nala, a tall dark woman, smiling at her from further down the hallway. Elsa's head fell again and stayed down as she slumped off her seat.

"And Elsa?"

She turned at once, a smile already spreading over her cheeks as she hoped for an escape, but Kai had also stood, the book under his right arm. He handed her a chocolate from his pocket. He had intended to pay her a visit anyway.

"It'll be tough sometimes, but the most important thing is that you love Anna - with all your heart - and you keep her safe and happy. Can you do that?"

The smile came back, wider than Kai had ever seen it. She offered just one more word before running to Nala, who gave him a mouthed word of thanks before leading her charge away.

"Yeah!"

Were it not for the moonlight spilling through the open window, Ithun would have been blind when she entered the room. Even now all she could see was Agdar's outline. She raised her hand to the light switch and pressed her finger against it. She reconsidered and eased the door shut, taking care not to make a sound. Only now had her eyes adjusted enough to pick up the dull purple of his shirt, its colour faded further by both age and the surrounding darkness. She stepped forward.

"Elsa has to go."

Agdar's silhouette shifted as he turned his head. He made eye contact for a moment, then returned to his work.

"You don't know that."

"You know I'm - " Agdar's head whirled around and she caught a glint in his narrowed eye. She stopped, cursed herself and continued in a whisper, " - right. We're lucky this wasn't worse."

"Elsa just needs help." He turned back, his body tense save his right arm which still moved smoothly. It had to.

"But not here." His shoulders relaxed, giving her the courage to take the last few steps dividing them. She placed a hand on his back and stroked. He looked away.

"Have you seen her?" He murmured. "She hasn't moved for hours. She hasn't eaten or slept, she's just curled up in her bed - Ithun - all she's done since is scream and tear her hair out. I can't punish her for that."

"It's not punishing her, Agdar. We can't raise her; the least we can do is give her to someone who can." He looked down and said nothing. She waited another moment. More silence. "Let's not draw attention to ourselves," she continued. "I think you would be better suited for this."

"I can't raise Anna either." Ithun wasn't sure whether Agdar had meant the words for her ears or his own. He lowered his chin. A moment later he nodded to himself. "I know someone. I'll arrange a meeting in the morning."

"It's for the best." Ithun squeezed her husband's shoulder as she turned to leave, but she frowned and looked back. "The towel's getting too dry for my liking."

Agdar grunted. She left, a brief flash of light invading the room only to fade as she closed the door behind her. He dipped the towel in the small bucket of water beside him, relaxing his hand in the warmth before raising it, cursing himself. It was cooling. He should have asked Ithun to swap it for the second again. He put the thought to one side and squeezed the excess moisture from the cloth, this time wrapping it around the scarlet lock of hair. The red crumbled away as he moved the fabric along, freeing the strands from the dry blood. He winced when further hairs escaped the bandage encircling Anna's skull and fell over her right eye. He dried his left hand on his trouser leg. With it he brushed the hair back and, once it was clean, let the lock in his right hand fall to the right side of her face too. There it mingled with the rest, strawberry blonde once more.

It was slow work. He kept wetting the towel, pausing only when his vision grew too blurry to continue. He wiped it clear every time, resolving again and again to ignore his daughter's laboured breaths.

If only, in the dead of that long, long night, they weren't so loud.