I've always hated hospitals.
Granted some good things do happen in here, like, New lives are brought into the world. I can faintly hear the newborn babies crying for their mothers down the hall.
Ally would be a great mother.
I can imagine our child now, it would be a girl and we would name her Allysa. She would obviously be a musical prodigy, and would be smart like Ally, but she would still be as childish as I am. She would have my blonde hair and Ally's beautiful chocolate brown eyes and Ally would yell at me for spoiling her too much.
And we would all live happily ever after...
It started to become too much for me and a few tears slipped out of my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and looked at the person in front of me.
She still hasn't opened her eyes yet and the doctor says that she might never wake up.
But I know she will. She has too...
I reached out and grabbed her frail hand and engulfed it in mine.
"Alls, I know you probably can't hear this but, I need to say this before it's too late. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for stealing your song all those years ago, and for being such a crappy Best Friend! Best Friend, I don't deserve that tittle. I was never there for you, but yet you were always there for me. And I'm just sorry!"
I started sobbing.
"I'm sorry for not realizing what was right in front of me this whole time until this happened. I'm sorry for leavening you for Piper. But most of all I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I guess I deserve this, you know, watching the one that I love just die and not being able to do anything about it! I'm sorry..." I couldn't say anything else because my breathing was getting ragged and I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I shut my eyes tightly, when all of a sudden I felt slight squeeze on my hand and the voice that I longed to hear whisper my name.
"Austin?"
I instantly shot my head up to see Ally's eyes staring right into mine. I looked at her for a second before doing something I should've done a long time ago.
I kissed her.
I kissed her with as much love and passion that was in my heart. At first she was shocked but then she immedently started kissing me back. Her hands tangled up in my hair while I had my hand on her cheek. I've never felt as good as I did right then, we were wrapped up in our own little world. She pulled away first gasping for air and I layed my forehead against hers.
"I love you." I whispered loud enough for her to hear. She looked at me for a second, shock written all over her face, before whispering back "I-I love you too."
"Good, now that we've got that cleared up, what the hell were you thinking?" I said gently pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
She bit her lip, "I'm sorry, Austin. I just couldn't keep living like that, knowing that the one I loved didn't love me. I didn't think that anyone would miss me."
I stared at her for a few moments.
"Really? No one would miss you?" She stayed silent and looked down "What about your Dad? What about Dez and Trish? Most importantly, what about me?"
"I know. I just didn't know what to do..."
"Well, trying to kill yourself is definitely not the answer. If you died, I would've died too. You wouldn't just be killing yourself, you'd be killing me."
She started to cry "I'm so sorry, Austin. I-I just thought that you were too good for me. I don't deserve you and-" I cut her off.
"You don't deserve me? Ally, if anything I don't deserve you. You deserve way better than me."
"I'm sorry, Austin. It's all my fault that I'm here right now."
"No, it's not. It's my fault for pushing you over the edge. I should've noticed what was right in front of me."
"I love you, Austin." Ally sniffled
"I love you too, Ally."
Then, I kissed her again. I kissed her like this was our last kiss, because in my gut I had a weird feeling that this was going to be our last kiss.
I pulled away and hugged her tightly against my chest.
"I love you." I whispered into her hair.
"I love you more." Ally whispered back.
"Ally, it's physically impossible for you to love me more than I love you." I laughed as a few tears fell out of my eyes.
"I still love you more." Then, I jumped into the hospital bed with her and snuggled.
My face was burried in the crook of her neck and her head rested on my chest and before I knew it I was fast asleep.
I woke up to Ally's sweet voice singing and I decided to pretend to be sleeping so I could listen.
"I'm fading
Much to fast, my love
I'm waiting
For it to pass, my love
Could I feel your skin on mine
Before I have to say goodbye?
Could I breathe, please, one last time?
You're in my lungs before I curl up
And, die...
All my world is losing light
I'm leaving
This cold world of mine
No pleading
Is gonna turn back time
Could I feel your skin on mine
Before I have to say goodbye?
Could I breathe, please, one last time?
You're in my lungs before I curl up
And, die...
All my world is losing light."
I finally opened my eyes to see Ally with tears in her eyes just staring at the wall.
"Ally?" I whispered shakily.
She snapped her head to look at me.
"Austin, need to tell you something." I looked at her terrified.
"W-what is it?"
She took a breath "Well, while you were sleeping, the doctor came in." I drew in a sharp breath "And, well, he said that... I-I'm not going to make it."
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not true.
"H-he also said, that um, you're welcome to stay the night since I probably won't make it into the morning."
Then, I pulled her as close to me as possible and just cried.
This is all my fault. If I just hadn't pushed her over the edge, none of this would be happening.
The rest of the night we exchanged 'I love you's' and long kisses. We also talked about our favorite moments together.
"Remember when we first met?" I smiled at the memory.
"Yeah, you were playing the drums with corn dogs and I was writing in my songbook. I knew something amazing was about to happen when I first saw you." I smiled and let out a sob.
"I remember when our hands first touched on the piano and I felt this shock of electricity run through me. It was the best moment of my life." I said fondly.
"I don't want to leave yet, I want to create more memories with you." Ally turned to me and I could see the tears that decorated her face.
"Then let's make some more." I whispered softly into her ear before kissing her roughly.
We fell asleep a little after that, but I was awakened by someone sobbing my name.
Ally.
"Austin!" I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing what was about to happen.
She was dying.
I hesitantly opened my eyes and found Allclutching her chest, sobbing.
"Ally?" I whispered shakily.
"Austin, I want you to know that I will always love you, even if I'm not going to be here." She choked out as I pulled her into my lap and held her.
"Ally, I love you, I love you, I love you." God, please let this be a nightmare.
Please.
"Austin, I don't want to die. I want to stay with you. Please save me." I looked into her frightened eyes and I HATED myself.
Why couldn't I save her? God knows I wanted too.
"Ally, would do anything if it meant you could stay here with me. If it meant that we would live happily ever after." I sobbed.
Her breathing was becoming ragged and I knew I didn't have much time left.
"Okay, okay. Um, I love you more than anything and I know we'll be together again. Thank you for making my life worth living, Ally Dawson, you're my world." I choked out, savoring her last few minutes with me.
"I love you. Don't you dare ever forget that, Austin. Thank you for saving me."
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"That's impossible." I whispered shakily before kissing her with all the love I held in my heart.
5 minutes later her lips weren't moving with mine and she was limp in my arms.
It finally hit me.
She's actually gone.
I just lost the love of my life.
"No!" I screamed.
"No, I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet!" I yelled waiting for a reply that would never come.
I burried my face into her hair.
It smelled like her.
I started to sing. It's the only way I know how to deal with pain.
"I thought I saw the devil, this morning
Looking in the mirror,
Drop of rum on my tongue
With a warning to help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire,
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all the times that I never could
My past has tasted bitter for years now,
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
I'll be good, I'll be good
I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out
For all of the perfect things I doubt
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times I never could
For all of the times I never could."
I'm sorry Ally.
The End.