We were in complete and utter silence for half of the ride. Lucy was in the cockpit, so she couldn't see the tears pouring from my eyes and flowing down my face. I felt a lump in my throat. Lucy's eyes were glued to the control panel, the constant futuristic sounds of the computer breaking my train of thought. Then I gasped loudly as I was sobbing.
"Whoa, whoa, what's wrong?" Lucy put the spaceship in autopilot and ran to help me. The tears wouldn't stop coming. They rushed out of my eyes like rapids down a river. My nose was backed up with snot. Luce gathered me in her arms. And, by instinct, she immediately checked my arms. She saw the fresh cuts.
"Amethyst, tell me what happened. Right now."
I just sat, whimpering and grinding my teeth.
"Honey, I'm here for you. Just tell me what happened." Then the agony and pain ignited a fire inside of me. The angry flames poured out of my heart and soul in the form of words. At first it sounded like a baby who couldn't say her first words, then got frustrated.
"I just- I- and he- I can't even- and he said- what the- it's just- what the fuck is wrong with me?!"
"Slow down, it's okay! Now, start from the beginning, hush, it'll be fine." She wiped my tears and snot on her sleeve and smiled gently. Lucy is such a benevolent, beautiful human being. And she'd been through so much... I told her everything. About how we talked every night, how he was so warm, how I kept having outbursts, the drinking, how we almost kissed, the fight, him leaving me... Well, there was nothing to leave. We always came so close and then... It was over.
"I just want to feel his lips press- I want them to press up against mine just once! It's not fair! I care about someone so much and they barely even acknowledge my existence! I just... I don't get it. It was one fight, one! And now it's all over? It's not fair! I- I-"
"Look," Lucy interrupted ( but I didn't mind, I needed to stop rambling),"I get it. You're hurt. I'm sorry, but you will get through this." She glanced back down at my arms. She shook her head slowly.
"Such beautiful, lavender skin... And you're hacking it away with a razor blade. Look at me!" Her eyes were burning with rage and sadness at the same time. A chaotic mixture.
"You don't need to keep doing this, especially over something like this! I get it, you're hurting, but why hurt yourself even more?"
I began to cry. The tears would stop. She couldn't ameliorate me. I felt the blood flowing through my veins, pumping, throbbing. All of the things he said. They were true. I was too much to handle.
"THEY'RE TRUE, THEY'RE TRUE! Everything he said! All of it! I'm too much to handle. No wonder all of my friends get sick of me! I can't - I just- what's wrong with me?" I started fighting an imaginary assailant. My vision was blurred. Then Lucy pulled my arms down to my sides. Just like Steven did, but no, no no no no no! I couldn't. I let. No! I can't! (sic) I can't lose another friend to my tantrums. To these outbursts my depression causes. I had to stop. And I did. Lucy was staring at me.
"We'll get through this, honey. Together."
I sat in a dark corner, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my head in my arms. I cried for nearly two hours.
When we began approaching the kindergarten, I started to recall memories.
Of Steven. Of us here. Together. But none of that mattered now. He extinguished the flames of our friendship with cold, cold, water. All that remained were the charred embers. I let my head fall against the window. As we started our landing, I started getting headaches. I needed some pain pills.
"Luce, you got any Advil? I have such a fucking headache."
She rummaged through her purse. The engine was off.
"Shit, you're out of luck. Ooh, wait, here's some. Take two." She tossed the bottle my way. I opened it and popped about twenty.
As we made our way across the Valley of Abandoned Injectors. I know this place has a bad rap, but I was made here. I was draining the humans of their life, their supplies, their natural fuels, just to be born. I was a parasite. Maybe... Maybe if I wasn't born... The fellow Crystal Gems wouldn't be disappointed, Steven wouldn't hate me, I would succeed in school(even though I don't really need money). What if..? I wondered if I could reverse this curse. My chest started to ache as we ascended the mountain. It was foggy and dry, the air hurt me to breathe. I didn't even need air. Sometimes, I actually liked to go to the bottom of the ocean and just sit there, staring up at all of the sharks and clownfish and schools of minnows, and sometimes seeing a gem worm. But I didn't fight it, it only swam around and screeched at anything in its way. Sometimes... Sometimes Steven would call my name. It sounded so weird underwater. Blurry, unintelligible words. But I could make out what he said.
When I had cramps sometimes(I'm the only Crystal Gem who had periods), he would sit on the beach and listen to me moaning from the colossal pains. Eventually they'd cease, but he'd be crying because he didn't want me in pain. Such a sensitive, sweet little boy. I can only wonder why he cared about me.
"I'm here for you, Amethyst. I'll always be here to help you solve your problems as much as possible. Our friendship has meaning, you know? And I care. I'll always care. Don't you forget that." But that was long ago. He doesn't care about me anymore. I'd been mesmerized by my thought for so long that I didn't even realize Lucy was screaming. The sound pierced my eardrums.
"Amethyst, help!" She'd slipped and fallen onto a ledge. She was barely hanging on with one hand, and the pale skin of her lower back was exposed. Bloodied.
I hurried to summon my weapon. My left hand rushed to my chest, my gem glowed, and the whip was born of my boobs.
"Lucy, hold on!" But I was too late. Her hand slipped.
"No! Damnit, no!" I closed my eyes as she almost hit the ground, but then I heard a whoosh. I looked down. I saw... Lion? He caught Lucy in his mouth, somehow, and her body was left unscathed by his fangs.
"Amethyst!" I heard Pearl's familiar voice, like that of an overprotective mother. "Young lady, what were you thinking? Coming out to this forsaken place!" Her eyes glowed with fury.
"Yes," Garnet agreed, "this place is fucked. What are you doing here?"
"No, no! What are you doing here? I had to get away! I needed to feel whole, just for a moment, I wanted to feel complete, and I only feel that when I'm here!"
"AMETHYST", Pearl began to lecture. "Think about what would've happened if we didn't show up! Splat! Your friend is dead!" Pearl's onomatopoeia sounded ridiculous. But she was right.
"Would you want your friend dead, Amethyst? Would you? Huh? Did you want to scoop up your friend and bring a puddle of human home?"
"No! Damnit Pearl, I get it! Shut the fuck up!" My veins busted out of my head. I pulled my hair and started screaming. The whole time, Steven was standing there, watching me have another tantrum. I froze, our eyes meeting. The sun created a sexy shadow of him. I loved him. Green eyes, brown hair, kind of short, always cheerful, funny, awkward. He was Steven. Simply Steven. God, what am I thinking? He abandoned me! I shouldn't have feelings for him! He hurt me! Then I heard his voice.
"Amethyst, I-"
Swoop! Crash! Boom! An explosion of green hit the side of the mountain, sending us down to the ground.
"Steven! Get Lucy back to the beach house!" Garnet commanded.
" I want to stay and fight with you guys! Please, get Pearl to do it," he pleaded. Garnet lifted her shades, revealing a fiery third eye.
"Yes ma'am!" He squeaked, intimidated by her third orbital. He mounted Lion and charged towards the spaceship. In a matter of seconds, they were gone.
"Amethyst, I can't believe you brought a human to this wretched place!" Pearl pulled her spear out of her gem. Even though I was pissed as hell at her, I still thought her spear was the most beautiful weapon of defense ever. I envied it. Not that I'd want a giant pearl on my forehead.
We charged towards the source of calamity, our weapons raised high. There was a spaceship. Another hand. Shit, Jasper was back! I still don't know if that thing is a girl or a boy.
We waited for the approaching fight, beads of sweat forming around our eyes and mouths. I squinted my eyes. Nothing. No sort of commotion for ages, no signs of life.
Ten more minutes. As I turned to tell Garnet we should just leave, I heard the Psssh of a hydraulic door swinging open.
We went back into defense mode. And who walks out? Jasper.
"Well well well, if it isn't the pussy squad."
Jasper's eyes narrowed, his ugly smirk reaching from cheek to cheek. "I've been ready to destroy your asses. Especially you, Amethyst!"
I sneered at him. "Couldn't if you tried, you little bitch!" I cracked my whip in the air, showing him how powerful I was.
"Ooh, what are ya gonna do? Give me a spanking? Ha!" He laughed, but I could see him quaking in his pants.
"I smell your fear, asshole." Then I darted towards him, my fists itching for his face. He raised his arm, and when my fist met it, I cracked a few bones.
"Aaah! Shit!" I winced from the pain. He drop kicked me, sending me flying through the air. I landed on my back. A series of cracks rippled throughout my body.
"Amethyst, fall back!" Garnet commanded. Pearl came and helped me up.
Garnet activated her gauntlets and started throwing punches at Jasper. She blacked his eye, knocked out five teeth, and then he struck her with a sword. She went down, but was never was defeated. I limped over to help her to her feet.
"Shit this hurts!"
"Then don't walk on it, you jackass!" Garnet yelled. I didn't listen. I kept on towards her. I pulled her up.
"Come on, I'll help you fight!"
"No, go away! You can't fight! You're hurt!" She shoved me back, even though she knew I was hurt. But I didn't feel anything. She sent her fist into Jasper's knee, the sounds of bones shattering making me so uncomfortable.
"Damn it!" He screamed. Jasper limped back to his ship.
"Go, run away like the damn coward you are!" I screamed.
Whoosh! His ship gravitated towards the sky, and in a few bursts of light, he was gone.
"Shit," I said,"What was he doing here?!"
"I heard him and Peridot talking about restarting the kindergarten. We have to stop them. The destruction would end the human race." And she was right. We had to stop them. Even though I was made because of this place, its creation was wrong. Hell, forget about my problems with Steven, I had to save the fucking world. And I would do this with or without him.