"She plays the tune for those who wish to overlook
The fact that they've been blindly deceived
by those who preach and play and teach
But she falls short of the night and explodes in laughter
Don't you come and here
and say I didn't warn you
by the way the world can alter
And though how you try and command it all
every time one thing shits one way or the other.
And I am a Goddamn coward,
but then again so are you
And the lions roar …
the lions roar
as we've evaded every other obstacle for you
but I never ever really knew what to do…" ~Lion's Roar

"Are you going to go the party tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Use the entire school as my confessional. It's very Catholic of you Marcus but not very presidential."

"Well maybe not, but it's honest. When all else fails, tells the truth."

I sigh, putting my fist on my chin. I want to tell the school that I made a mistake, an honest mistake but a mistake nonetheless. But I remember what Kate tells me 'Always be sure of what you want to say'. If only this was easier. "Fine. But if this blows right in my face, you are going to help me fix it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure Jane." He says, serious.

I address the school. Arthur's parents don't mind a party at their house. They don't know of last year's party and Michelle's dad was very discreet when it came about her daughter's secret. Fucking rich people. They live in another world. Then again, every human lives in another plane of reality. No wonder they are doomed.

Rachel, Charlene, Mary, and the rest applaud me and soon everyone follows. Marcus' plan works and I tell Kate all about it when we get back home. "See, I told you you'd be good as your school's president." She says, then offering Marcus a diet Pepsi. Marcus waves his hand dismissively, politely declining.

"Wait until John hears this. He is going to be very excited when he hears that another in the family is following in his footsteps."

'Yes, I am sure he will'. John has been stressing that point for the past three months how I am supposed to be taking up his mantle of big, great leader. And I really want nothing more than make him proud but I often wonder when I am with Marcus if this is how it's really meant to go.

I enjoy spending time with the girls discussing about boys and movies and I know Jacob loves his time with Michelle and his other little friends, talking about stupid nonsense. I don't want all of that to go.

But I must. A leader has to be strong for his or her people. And if John is going to take over the world, then I must put aside my sentimentality and work on getting him and Kate get there.

It's for the best. Besides, I tell myself. After John takes over, I can go back on doing what I want and live in a free society where I won't be looked down upon because of who my parents were and what I am.

It will be like I always wanted. Like he always wanted –My brain tells me. Is this really what you want? It asks me.

I don't know anymore but one thing I am sure and that's I am not going to fail John. He rescued me and Jacob and took me when NO ONE else did. He treated me like a person, he showed me things and he told me I was beautiful and that I could be somebody other than pretend to be disabled like my father wanted.

But is this really what I want? To rule the world, to re-shape it? After Marcus leaves I tell Kate about my doubts.

"Maybe there is another way."

"Maybe but maybe there is not. I know about your doubts. John had doubts as well when his mother kept telling him that one day he would rise up the occasion and become the great military leader he was supposed to be. He didn't doubt when that moment came. He saw all his friends killed and he became John Connor."

"But I am not John, Kate. I am not like him and I am not sure that I want to be. I know that you and John go on about who I'm supposed to be but I just want to be me, and besides the new girl at school, Courtney, is really nice and she has shown me all kinds of stuff about clothes, shoes and I enjoy it. I never thought that I would love spending my time with those idiots but I do."

"Silly girl. You are just like John, more than you know. You will get there honey, trust me." Kate just says and I have to nod, because I don't want to hear another long hour sermon about how confused I am, but it will pass and then I will see that he is right.

Burying my head in my pillow, I toss and turn. Why does life have to be so difficult for us Connor kids? My dad would be ashamed if he knew that I adopted the last name of Connor. He is not here though. And if he really cares so much about us, then the other him would be smart and go away, back to his little bunny, Miss Allison Young.

Kyle just stands there for the longest time, surveying the area. What the hell is he thinking now? I wish Kyle would act and pull the trigger on that son of a bitch.

I briefly consider stepping out the vehicle, but I keep my hands on the wheel. Kyle said that I had to be ready when he sprung out of the building with the two kids in hand.

Just how he's going to achieve that, I don't even want to know. The less I do the better in case Connor captures me.

Kyle enters the building and I wait, clocking my watch for five minutes. That is how long he promised me it would take to acquire them. But he doesn't come. Okay, Allison pull yourself together and run. But I can't. I can't leave Kyle behind.

Please god just get out of there now! As if some supernatural force hears me, my head perks up as I see Kyle running in my direction.

"Thank God! Get in!" I say unlocking the door. My eyes narrow. "Where are the children?"

"Drive."

"But the children … Kyle!"

"Just drive Allison!"

I speed off.

He doesn't talk to me for the thirty minutes that we get stuck in traffic. When we finally arrive, Miriam is there whimpering. I forgot to fed her, I open the cracker box and fill her bowl. I then turn to Kyle. He is a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth, uttering curses. "Would you mind telling me now what the hell happened? You said the plan was bullet proof."

"Well I did not count on … on … THAT!"

"What is that? Did John attack you?" He doesn't respond, he shuns me away, turning his back on me. "Kyle did John infect you? Oh God, we have to get you the hospital, I know someone who could-"

"No, it's not that Allison. John wasn't even there!"

"Then what are you so worked up about?"

"Nothing! It's nothing! Just … let's leave at that ok?!" I have pushed too far and he expects me to stay quiet, and act like I've always acted, as the perfect, obedient girl.

But I'm not going to act that role right now, and I am going to press Kyle until he gives me the right answer. "Fuck that I am not going to let it go! You saw something there, what was it?"

He doesn't answer me for quite a while and then he does, facing me, looking me straight in the eye and the answer he gives me is one I've been dreading for years.

"No. That is impossible. He-"

"Well apparently he did not! Now you see why I can't do anything!" He says and rubs his temple. "Look Allison baby, I am sorry, I know how much you want me to step up but I can't do this right now. We have to lay low-"

"Kyle, I never wanted you to step up to the plate."

"At least until I figure out a better plan." He says, carrying on despite my minor interruption. "I have some of the other me's stack, it has some of the magnetic bullets. It might not be enough to stop them, but it will slow them down so we take the kids and get the hell out of here."

"Kyle have you stopped to think that maybe … just maybe the kids are right where they belong?"

"What? Allison, you can't be serious! You've seen what type of man Connor is."

"Yes and that is exactly why they belong with them. Look Kyle, I know you feel … some sort of attachment to them but they are not your kids. You didn't raise them. The other Kyle did, and whatever happens, we must be prepared. That is where the other Kyle and Sarah failed, they spend too much time postponing and trying to end the vicious cycle but maybe this is what is meant to happen."

"No. Things must change. They have! Sky Net is no longer in charge, John is which means that we can change the future."

"I agree, we can. But we can't change the war. John has become something more dangerous and it is up to stop him from succeeding. When all this is over, we can go back to having our normal life. You and me, children … and we won't have to worry about time paradoxes or any of that." I say holding his hand and then take his other and place it on my flat belly.

His eyes widen. I want to burst out laughing at his shocked expression. "Since when?"

"Two months. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you."

"Allison this is … this is wonderful… Holy shit, this changes everything … If Connor finds out-"

I silence him with a kiss. "He won't because we will make our future just you and me, far from Connor far from his family." I say and I mean it. Kyle is mine and no one else's, and I am not going to let the Connors get in between us this time.

We hold each other for the longest time until Miriam breaks the silence, pushing her plate against Kyle's leg.

"Well, now we will have an extra mouth to feed. Let's hope he or she is not like you girl." Kyle says jokingly, giving a light stroke to Miriam's head.

"I wouldn't mind dealing with another streak of stubbornness." I say, already imagining what my daughter will be like. I can feel it in my bones it is a girl, and not just because the sonogram told me so but because I have always wanted a girl.

"Jacob just calm down. He is not going to take us, alright?"

"But you saw how he looked at her. He wanted to shoot her."

"No he didn't Jacob, just … just calm down okay?" I beg him, yes for the first time begging but I have to because my brother is on the brink of a nervous breakdown and I hate seeing my brother weak.

"I can't. Daddy always comes back. He should come back. I miss him."

"Well he is not the same daddy who raised us okay? And old daddy got what he deserved!" I say, coming out harsher than I originally intended.

Jacob starts tearing up. Oh God. "Jacob, look!" I say, grabbing his shoulders, shaking him. "I want the old daddy back too, okay? But he is gone and he was evil."

"He wasn't! He was just misguided."

"He tried to kill us Jacob, what do you call that if not evil?! He tried to kill us because some idiot told him we were the anti-Christ."

"Maybe we are. You changed so much Janey. You used to read to me and stay up all night until I fell asleep now it is Kate who does. You are never home to play with me and you don't want to help me with my crafts!"

"Because it's stupid!" I shout. My brother is so stupid. Does he think that our little daddy is going to drop off from the sky like those stories he told us before he killed our mommy in cold blood. Jacob was not there but I was and I saw how mommy yelled at him before our good, sweet old daddy shot her and melted Pops. "And you are stupid!"

"At least I am not a tramp." Jacob says with a dark tone.

"What did you say?" Jacob turns his gaze away. "You stupid boy." I let him go and drop him on the bed, his back hits the soft mattress. "Maybe daddy was right and he should have killed you. He would have spared us the trouble."

Jacob's eyes flash red and he swings his toys at me, I swing back focusing my gaze on the lamp next to me but he raises his hand and stops it before it hits him.

"Stop it! You are being irrational as always. You think you are the only who misses daddy? I miss him too but I was there when he killed mommy, you weren't!"

He backs his back against the wall and hugs his knees, hiding his head between them.

Gosh, I wish Kate was here. She is much better at this than me. I should stop by now but I can't. Jacob needs to know the full truth. "You were not there when he attacked mommy Jacob, I was! Mommy pleaded with him to think but he didn't. Our father never stopped to think! That is why he let that bitch put those ideas in his head!"

"Stop it! I don't believe you!"

"You saw the video, you saw him and grandma Brigid plan our deaths!"

Jacob screams. "Daddy loved us. He loved us! He loved me!"

"Daddy was an idiot and I am glad he is dead!"

"Take that back!"

"No!"

"You are a stupid liar!"

"That doesn't even make sense idiot!"

He gives me the middle finger. I grab his hand and put it down. "You are hurting me!"

"You are hurting me! That is how you sound." If John heard me using harsh language and Jacob making these expressions he'd get mad. He doesn't like us using strong language, he says it is beneath us.

"Shut up!"

I let him go and get out of the room, slamming the door of my own room behind me, ignoring John who just arrived.

"What was that about?"

I shake my head, not telling him about Jane's earlier doubts. He has too much on his plate to be worrying about Jane. Besides, it will get resolved. With Connors it always does.

John enters Jacob's room. Jacob's things are flying around as he cries harder, with his face against the pillow.

I want to comfort him and tell him that things are going to be ok but John's idea of tough love is better for these sorts of situations. He waves his hand, pushing the flying toys aside and sits next to Jacob.

"I know how hard this is. When I was little, my mom used to sing to me and told me that the future was not set, that I could choose for myself."

Jacob sits up facing John. "She used to sing to me too. She had a terrible voice but I always enjoyed her songs, especially 'Rocket Man'." He says with a little laugh and John joins him.
He's always told me how his mother had a voice like a dying ca.

"She loved you a lot and Janey, you know that?" John says and I can hear a tint of jealousy and even regret in his voice.

"She did … but she was always so disappointed in me. She said 'get up soldier, you are strong. You must be prepared'. What did she mean by that? Did she want me to be a soldier like you?"

John's first instinct is to nod. He's never had trouble talking to the children, and he always responds to them with the truth, but he shakes his head this time. "No, she wanted you to be normal, like the rest."

"Why did she inject me that thing then?"

John narrows his eyes and so do I, sitting next to him.

"What thing?" He asks, his voice dangerously low. I can see that Jacob has hit a chord here. He looks at me and I nod.

"Pops … the T 800 he did a serum … said it would help me … He said it would make me a real boy like the blue fairy for Pinocchio at the end of the book."

"Jacob, I need you to tell us, when was this?" I ask. Jacob says four years ago. John and I look at each other then switch our gazes to Jacob in alarm.

"I did a systems check like you tell me to do John, I am ok." He says and John nods. He rises and traces his hand across Jacob's cheek, then goes away.

"Did I do something wrong?" Jacob asks me, baffled at John's attitude.

"No honey, John is just tired that's all. Go to sleep, I will come soon to read you a story, okay?" He nods and lies down.

I go to John. His back's facing me and he's not saying anything. After a long moment of silence, he says "When I was Jacob's age my mom used to sing to me, she said that everything was true. The war, Sky Net but I never believed any of it until a Terminator came to tell me he'd been sent by me, the me from the future and I realized it was all true. After that, I followed her like a lost puppy, wishing that I could take back the awful things I said …" he turns "… She believed that I was meant for greatness and she would have done anything to keep humanity's messiah alive that I thought she'd be proud of me."

"John, the mother who raised is dead, this Sarah is someone else entirely."

"No, they are both the same. There is only one Sarah Connor and she would have done anything to keep her children from turning into abominations. I saw it in her eyes Kate when she looked at me after I recovered from the attack her relic inflicted on me. She would have probably tried to kill him."

"You don't know that."

He smirks. "You did not know my mother Kate." He gives a cold laugh. "The joke is on her now, everything she ever loved is now mine and I am not going to let go of them, and if any of my mother's old friends come, I will deal with them."

"Together." I say, and he nods.

John stared from the window of his car to the horizon. He didn't like bringing anybody with him in his endless treks, unless he had to. And Kate needed to watch over Jacob before their sister said something that upset him. He had seen how the girl's eyes lit up every time some was hurt or brutally killed on TV. He didn't miss the look of pain that cross his younger brother's features every time she forced him to watch.

Jane loved to take on the hardest challenged and she worked very hard to impress him, but she had a temper that reminded him of their father. He tried teaching her various methods of controlling it, but the girl also possessed a rebellious spirit.

"At least it is better than Jacob." He wondered why was it that he had not pressured Jacob into being more assertive than his sister. Was it that he saw Kyle in the boy's features he got from their father? Or was it something else? Something he was too afraid to revisit because it would reopen old wounds.

He twisted his mouth, whatever it was, it didn't matter. He had better things to think about, and this mission required his full attention. Very soon, Kyle would make his move and marry Allison Young and he would be stuck with another sibling. One that he didn't want. A mongrel pup who would have all the love and attention that he was deprived from.

A sadistic grin spread across his face. How many times he tried to get to Kyle and he was thwarted by his own feelings? He was not going to let that happen this time.

Kyle wanted to play family man, he would let him. And give him a powerful lesson in the process of just how cruel life could be.

Rachel is feeling unwell so it was up to me to lead the cheerleader squad. After the game, the team and the girls got together for a big celebration party. Marcus was there as he always is, and tells me everything. I am angry, I want to slap him, choke him.

"You said that you loved me!"

"I did, I mean I do but my parents … they said that I had to stay away from you and I didn't listen, now they are telling me that I am doing a good job and you don't understand what it is like Janey living with two people obsessed with past lives-"

"Spare me your excuses Marcus, I live with two hybrids who want nothing better than killing your kind. How could you not tell me this?"

"Because I did not want to hurt you." He yells, tears stream from his eyes. "I am sorry. We can still make it work. Fuck them, fuck my parents and fuck your brother and his wife. We can make our own path."

"And do what with it?" I ask him, my eyes flashing red. He steps back. "Hide under a bunker like my brother and Kate have done before and hope that the hybrids don't find us? I am not a coward Marcus, if that is what you and your pathetic little family wants to do, go right ahead. Me, I am staying where I belong. But thanks for making me see how John was right about your kind." I say and head back home.

Stupid! Stupid! I was so stupid for doubting John. Humanity is lost, they are nothing but meat, useless chattel.

I sink to my knees. I remember when my mom told me not to lose faith in humanity, to be strong. She traced her finger across my palm "A straight line" she told me. That is what I am doing –I tell myself. I am going on a straight line and unlike my useless father, I am not going to look back.

I am going to help John, and if necessary, if someone lays a hand on my brother and Kate, I am going to finish.

I am assaulted by another memory. My father holding me in his hands. Telling me that I am his special little girl.

I scream mentally! "Did you ever love me father? Or did you just see me as a replacement for John?"

I do not receive an answer, I never do. Jacob still insists on praying to father's useless god, but I don't because to be very honest, every time I prayed to his god, I would never get an answer.

'He is not more real than the gods his father prayed to'. Everything he told me was a lie, and I knew it then. I knew it deep down that he was going to try and kill me but I didn't do anything because I was so afraid to confront the truth.

'John's been the only one who's ever given a damn about me and Jacob'. He and Kate were all we had. And as odd as it sounds, they are the only people who have looked after us.

John glanced down on his sleeping sister. Jane had been confronted with the truth. He smirked. He knew the girl would come face to face with the ugly reality sooner or later.

And just in time. As part of the board, he and Danny were going to make history opening a new division of bio-medics that would deal with new vaccines. And congress had just passed a bill that allowed for human test subjects.

"I will look after you Jane." He told her after she opened her eyes and looked away, unable to face her brother when she was very close to crying. "No one is going to hurt you again, I promise."

"Can you see the future?" She asked him very crossly.

He chuckled, shaking his head, replying with the same tone he'd used for their father when he asked him that same question. "Nobody can see the future Janey, but I know about human nature and I made you a promise, didn't I?"

She nodded. "I thought he was the one. He said he liked me."

"People lie to get what they want, that is what they do." He told her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "You and I can make things better for them, they just need someone to guide them."

"I am not sure I can do it John. I am not like you, I don't have your brains."

"Do not sell yourself short, you have a talent of making people fall in love with you."

"Well, I guess it is genetics. You are not so bad yourself for an old man."

He laughed. "You still have that sense of humor. I got you elected as class president, you have that power in yourself to make others do what you want. Use that power to make them see the light."

"And if they refuse?"

"Then they die, plain and simple. You've seen what they are capable, you can guide them, teach them, but they will never listen unless you use an iron fist. That is how children learn and humanity is still in its baby steps."

"If only it were that easy with Jacob." She said with a dry laugh.

"You shouldn't have been so tough on him. He is just a kid and like you, he has to learn the hard way."

"Jacob is an idiot."

"You don't believe that. There will come a time when all of us will have to unite against our enemies, and if you want Jacob to be strong, you must help him and stop teasing him. He will learn on his own." John promised, speaking from experience.

Jane didn't say much after that and John left her room for the living room where Kate was with his younger brother. There is so much of her that reminds him of the life he had before he was turned. All their dreams and hopes. The things that kept them united throughout all the chaos and madness. And it is this that makes him smile, a genuine smile as he watched them interact.