Author's note: You may not like my interpretation of a character many of you like...

Tommy yanked open his door with the grace of an angry brown bear. "Judith! What on Earth are you doing here this late?"

His sister barged past him and into the lounge. She was unusually disheveled and shaking and smelt of alcohol. Her tight-fitting, black cocktail dress hung unevenly from her shoulders and Barbara noticed the tear near the hem and the ladder up her stocking. Her eyes signalled her observations to Tommy. Blood flushed his cheeks in anger. "Judith has someone...hurt you?"

Bewildered and scared Judith looked up for the first time. She saw Barbara and tried to straighten her dress. "Sorry Tommy. Have I interrupted something? Were you two discussing a case or something?"

"I should go To...Sir."

"No!" both Lynleys replied.

"Please stay Barbara," Judith pleaded.

Barbara smiled tightly. She had seen many sexual assault victims and she feared the worst. She was not sure Tommy could cope or control his rage. "Of course."

"What happened Judith?" Tommy asked softly, "have you been..." He left the word hanging in the air.

"No! But I think I might have ruptured his doodle bag."

Barbara shot an amused glance at Tommy who despite the seriousness of the situation wanted to laugh at the oddly childish term his sister had used. "We should get you to the station and photographed and examined," he said as DI and not a brother.

"No," Judith said defensively as she swayed. Tommy helped his sister sit down.

"Give me his name and I'll severe his doodle and make sure it never doodles again." Her brother had re-emerged.

"No Tommy," Judith begged.

Now Barbara was angry too. "Do you want this maniac to attack other women? Don't be a fool Judith."

"Was it Steven?" Tommy demanded.

Judith shook her head. "No, we had a big fight. I walked out of the restaurant and took a shortcut through the park opposite my apartment. There was a man there...in the bushes near the exit. He leapt out at me so I kneed him - hard. I ran through the bushes and tripped on the pavement. Most of the damage is from that. He never laid a hand on me Tommy."

"So what was he doing?"

"Touching himself."

"So you attacked him?" Barbara asked, "a pre-emptive strike?"

Judith nodded. "Think of the scandal Tommy."

"Indecent exposure is still a crime Judith. Go and get cleaned up and I'll make some calls." Tommy's face asked Barbara to go with her and verify her claim that she had not been assaulted.

"Can I have a drink? To settle my nerves?"

"When you come back." He was not used to seeing his sister inebriated. She normally drank very responsibly.

Half an hour later the women returned and Barbara nodded. It seemed Judith had been telling the truth. "I spoke with the hospital nearest your flat. I had to play on the full police investigation angle. A man bearing similar injuries did go through A&E. He is sore but largely uninjured. He had a scan and nothing was ruptured. You never mentioned he was with a woman. Apparently he lives near there and was having a 'dalliance', as he put it, with his son's nanny. He claims a drunk woman came stumbling through the bushes towards them. He stood up and covered himself then says you attacked him in a frenzy while shouting 'you're a bastard Steven'."

Judith bowed her head. "I never saw the woman. I...I thought he was going to attack me."

"Anyway for obvious reasons he did not want the police involved and went home with an ice pack. Goodness knows what he will tell his wife."

"Thank you Tommy," Judith said contritely as she sank onto the couch.

"Steven also rang. He's worried about you. He was out searching for three hours. Where were you Judith?"

She looked up through red-rimmed eyes. "I went to a bar and tried to get drunk."

"And you think that's a responsible thing to do?"

Judith turned and stared at her little brother. "You're in no position to lecture me about drinking responsibly! First sign of trouble and you reach for your precious scotch bottles."

Barbara did not want to intrude on a family fight. "I should be going Sir. Goodnight Judith, I'm glad you're okay."

She gathered her bag and shoes from the floor. Tommy reluctantly escorted her to the door and waited with her until the cab arrived. "I'm sorry Barbara, the evening didn't end quite the way I intended," he said as he took her hand and stroked it softly.

"So you planned to bring me back here and seduce me did you?" she teased.

"No! Not at all. But...well I've wanted to kiss you for a very long time," he said softly as he moved closer, "and tonight I almost did."

Barbara expected him to kiss her then but he simply placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Tommy?"

He leant his forehead against hers. "Oh Barbara, do you know how hard it is having you leave me now? But not with Judith here. I want it to be special and memorable for all the right reasons."

"I understand."

They stayed close until the cab pulled up to the kerb. She smiled and waved as she climbed into the classic black vehicle. She watched him watching her drive away. It had been the strangest and yet most wonderful evening.

Tommy poured a large whiskey to match Judith's and sat in a chair opposite his sister. "Steven will be around soon. You can sort it out or not, that's up to you."

"Is it serious?"

"How would I know? You're the one who had the fight." He took a long sip from his glass letting the fire run down his throat.

"I meant with Barbara. I felt the tension; saw the looks passing between you. I clearly interrupted a night of passion."

"Arrff," Tommy replied dismissively.

"What? You can't deny it. You two have something going on."

"So?"

"Oh Tommy if she makes you happy that's wonderful but have you thought about the consequences?"

"Consequences?"

"Well Barbara is a very caring friend but she's not exactly countess material. You can't afford to fall in love with her."

"How dare you?" he hissed with unrestrained anger. "Barbara is a better person than our whole miserable family rolled together. I am already in love with her. I have been for a very long time Judith."

"Are you Tommy? Or are you just lonely? In need of affection? You thought you loved Deborah and Helen too."

Tommy stood and walked away. When they were children they had frequently argued like this and then wrestled each other. Now he worried they would hurt each other, physically and emotionally. "I did love them and how dare you bring Helen into this!" he snarled.

"I image Barbara's very very active in bed Tommy but it's infatuation, lust, call it what you will."

"I love her!" he screamed at his sister, "and for the record we haven't slept together so don't presume she's 'active', passive or anything else! Is that code for 'she's not one of us so must be up for anything'? She deserves my respect and yours. I've known lots of well-bred women who are little more than whores. Barbara is far from that. And I'll happily give my title to Peter if she's not acceptable to the family."

"And she feels the same way?"

"About the title, I'm sure nothing would make her happier but whether she loves me, I don't know. I was just about to kiss her for the first time when you appeared."

"Oh Tommy, I'm sorry but maybe it's for the best. Better not to start something you can't finish. I can introduce you to lot's of eligible women if you're ready for that. You can't throw away your title on someone like her."

Tommy stared at his sister as if he were seeing her for the first time. "Someone like her! Did you miss the part where I said I love her? Or do you not understand what that means?"

"Tommy, you fall in love very easily. Staying there is the hard part for you. I like Barbara and I don't want either of you to get hurt but she's the sort of person who falls in love slowly and hangs on to it fiercely. Don't start anything if you don't intend to be there forever for her. And be serious about being willing to give up your title. She may not want to be countess."

"And the family won't accept her? Is that what you're saying?"

"Mother will be shocked if you want to marry her but no, if you are truly in love with her then of course we'll accept her. But will Barbara accept us? Can she accept us? Can shy old Havers ever even admit she loves you?"

"When Steven arrives I want you to go. If he doesn't want you he can escort you home but you're not welcome here if you can't accept how I feel."

"Fine! Suit yourself. You always do. To hell with what follows eh?"

They sat silently, staring at each other until Steven rang the bell ten minutes later. "She's in the lounge," Tommy said dismissively.

"I'm sorry about this old boy. We had a bit of a row."

"She fought with me too. Seems she's in a very pugnacious mood."

Tommy watched his sister and her long-term beau melt into each other and hug fiercely. Between whispered declarations of sorrow and retractions of what they had said he wondered what had gone so horribly wrong to create this evening's kerfuffle. "We should leave Tommy," his sister said quietly. "I'm sorry if I offended you but think very carefully about not hurting Barbara. She's not a toy to play with. Loving her will mean commitment, real commitment. Be very sure you're up to it."

"Judith please, just leave it."

He bade them goodnight and returned to sit in his lounge, drinking whiskey and worrying whether he really did love Barbara or if he simply thought he did. Judith may be an obnoxious drunk but there was an element of truth that disturbed him. How could he ever know if this was different to his other mistakes?

For the next week quality time together was impossible. Barbara often quipped that there were more murders at full moon and this month was proving her theory. She had asked after Judith but had made no more reference to the evening except the few times when she had called him Tommy and given him a heart-stopping smile.

Every opportunity he had Tommy observed her. Judith had accused him of lust and despite wanting to make love to her he knew he was only mildly attracted to her physically. Admittedly she had more curves than he had noticed over the years and with the better cuts in recent months her hair was pretty, especially when the copper tinges caught the light. His feelings were not lust. He was not overwhelmingly sexually attracted to her; it was attraction to her entity. He wondered if it was her street-sharp intellect or her personality that only he ever truly saw. It was neither and both. In the end what drew him could not be labelled, it was simply her, but he wanted to hold her and cherish her more than he had with women he had lusted after. This was a love that was not readily definable but felt more real than any other.

As they sat in his car driving out to visit their prime suspect Barbara watched Tommy. She had noticed him staring thoughtfully at her all week and the slight reticence in his mannerisms. She was not surprised but was a little disappointed. She cursed Judith's timing. She would have at least liked to have had him kiss her for her memories. They were more than friends but were they destined to be lovers? As the week had crept on and he had not taken any of the few chances they had to be alone she had seen her dream fade despite his parting declaration that he wanted a special moment to kiss her. Barbara knew she was not Tommy's usual type of woman. While she had long lusted after her sexy boss she knew he would never be attracted to her that way. What had happened had been the product of emotional closeness and opportunity and they had momentarily confused that for a different type of love. Now he realised this and was avoiding her. She smiled at him anyway. He was still her kindred soul, a friend like no other.

"What's on your mind?" he asked with concern. "Have you worked out the motive?"

"Oh, no. Sorry I wasn't thinking about the case. I'm sure Davis strangled her but I don't know why. He was her friend."

"I think he was in love with her."

"It's possible but why not shout it from the rooftops?"

"Not everyone in love does that. Maybe he was too scared to even tell her."

"Why not say?"

"Does everyone in love declare their hand? Maybe he didn't feel worthy of her."

They looked at each other meaningfully. Barbara realised they were not just talking about the case. "Why would he be scared? He's the successful lawyer with everything."

"And a very poor track record with women. What if he's not sure he could love her the way she needed to be loved?"

Barbara swallowed hard. "How would he know what she needed? But by even doubting then he probably already did."

"But how could he be sure? Without hurting her."

"Perhaps he should have talked to her. Let her reassure him. He might not be perfect but he might have been perfect for her."

"Barbara you're brilliant!"

"I am? I mean, I am."

They laughed together. "How do you maintain perfection? Stop it changing?" he asked.

Barbara frowned. "By killing it?"

"Exactly! Preserve her as she was, prevent her from changing. I think Davis killed her because he thought she was perfect then he found she had flaws. He killed her to stop her failing him, perhaps to keep her pure."

Three hours later they had their confession. Davis had killed his friend because he had discovered she was never going to fall in love with him. "She was all I wanted," the murderer lamented, "then I discovered her flatmate was her lover. I thought she was just her friend. She wasn't perfect after all."

"Nobody ever is," Tommy replied glancing at Barbara, "but that's what makes it fun."

"Not always," she replied.

They stayed in the interview room after Davis was led away. "Sad isn't it?" Barbara said as they gathered their notes. "He loved her but only as he imagined her, not as she really was."

"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, Who art as black as hell, as dark as night."

"Sorry?"

"Shakespeare. Sonnet 147. He laments love which like a fever has turned him mad and yet he can't turn away. That was Davis; unable to let go."

"Yeah, well you can't can you? Not if you really love someone. You hang on for the ride, good and bad."

"Yes, you do." Tommy suddenly felt euphoric and he grinned at her devilishly. His smile grew as her face flushed.

"Fancy a pint?" Barbara asked.

The paperwork could wait until the morning. "Wonderful idea Sergeant."