Barbara was floating somewhere between Cloud 9 and nirvana. As she lay fully clothed on her bed the room seemed to spin around her. She closed her eyes and focussed on recalling every moment of the most wonderful night of her life. Although they were yet to consummate their love they had finally found each other.
Tommy had driven straight to a pub that they went to when they wanted to make sure no one would interrupt. They bought pints and sat at the table near the back. At first they chatted about the case and work in general. "Barbara, about this week," he started.
"Mmm," she said neutrally, "it's been a busy one."
"I've been avoiding being alone so that we didn't have to finish our conversation."
"That's fine. We were just..."
"About to kiss when my damned sister arrived. I meant what I said. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. Something I still want to do but Judith made me question whether I was being fair to you; whether I could be what you need. The thing is I don't know. I never asked. I never even asked if you wanted to kiss me. I don't want to make a mess of this Barbara or be like Davis and make assumptions.
"Yes, no, yes."
"Which? What?" Tommy was confused.
Barbara felt her face and neck go crimson. "You can be the most irritating man at times but you'll always be my irritating man. I don't need all the fancy bits. I just need you."
Tommy's heart sang, a mixture of alleluia and a bouncy pop love song. "So I may kiss you?"
She looked into his eyes then down at her drink. This was excruciating. "I would like it, very much, if you kissed me," she formally thinking the conversation sounded like a scene from a Jane Austen novel.
Tommy instantly wished he had taken her somewhere more private. He took her hand. "Where?"
She raised her eyebrows cheekily and took a lead from D.H. Lawrence. "On the lips...to start with then perhaps..."
"Havers!" he exclaimed as his ears got hot. "I meant by the river or by Nelson's column or The Eye, so that it's memorable."
"Are you that bad at it that you think I'll forget? Tommy, you're worrying too much. Do you really think that everything has to be staged perfectly? We'd be too nervous if we have to make an appointment. Just let the night run, pick a moment that feels right and do it. Just not in here with people around."
He smiled at her and took her hand. "Ever the practical one."
They chatted awkwardly as they quickly downed their pints. "What time tomorrow should we leave for Colchester?" he asked.
Barbara swore then looked embarrassed. "I had forgotten about that. It's come around so fast. Mind you she didn't give me much notice. Probably hoping I'd say no."
"Barbara," he warned.
"I know. The wedding is at three o'clock. My aunt has booked us rooms in the house. So we can change for the reception there but we can save time by dressing for the wedding at home. How long to drive there?"
"About ninety minutes but we should allow for traffic. If we have rooms I would prefer to dress there. What if I pick you up at eleven?"
"Thanks Tommy. I appreciate this."
"I'll enjoy it, and so will you."
"We'll see."
They finished their second pints and by unspoken agreement stood to leave. Barbara had relaxed more and Tommy kept hold of her hand as they walked back to his car. "It's a very still night," she said consciously trying to take their minds off what would follow.
"It feels quite turbulent over here." They grinned at each other and Barbara squeezed his hand.
There were too many people around so he began to drive her home. Instead of taking the usual route he skirted around the side of Regents Park. He did not want to drive to her flat and kiss her. It would feel too staged and might imply he expected more. He was determined that nothing more would happen. He already knew how he wanted to spend their first night together. Even so he was more nervous than a teenager pondering his first kiss. On a whim he pulled into the park and pulled up near the tennis courts. "Let's go for walk by the lake."
Barbara climbed out of the car wondering if her jellied legs would carry her. The moment of truth was nearing. Tommy draped his arm comfortingly over her shoulder as they walked. The early November evening was unusually warm; the perfect night for a stroll. She expected him to stop at the water and kiss her but he kept walking. They completed a circuit of the lake and he still had made no move. She began to wonder if it was a stalling tactic. During their second lap she relaxed and almost forgot why they were there until he suddenly he spun her into his arms. His lips were on hers quickly. They were much softer and more polite than she had expected. Warmth flooded through her. Tommy was actually kissing her! She wrapped her arms around him and pushed her mouth hard against his pliant lips.
Tommy felt her shock give way to uncertainty and finally eagerness. Their lips found a pattern without any of the awkwardness he had feared. He wanted it to last forever this way, gentle and loving yet he also wanted to search deeper, explore her mouth and let her invade him. She pulled away panting. "Barbara?"
"Yes Tommy, yes."
This time the kiss was hard and impatient. They held each other as if letting go would cast them adrift into the universe. Tommy felt his lips swelling from the fury as they dueled. There was no denying Barbara's desire but the kiss was not just sensual. She was conveying ten years of feelings for him. There was tenderness and anger, funny moments and tragedy, elation and disappointment but underneath everything Tommy could feel her love, deep and unending. Nothing had ever been clearer to him and he responded greedily. He wanted all her love. It made him feel at peace for the first time in years, perhaps ever. With Barbara's love he could conquer the world! He had to be worthy of it though and he needed her to understand that. He slowed the kiss and tried to convey what she meant to him through the gentlest of movements. He felt her shiver in his arms as she moaned softly into his mouth.
Barbara's experience of kissing was rather limited and no one had ever kissed her the way Tommy was now. She had yearned for his kiss for years but it was a hundredfold more of everything she had hoped. As if he sensed her inexperience his tongue coaxed hers and steered her to discover more. The more ardently they kissed the more Barbara felt as if weights were being lifted from her. She began to feel confident and free to be the person hiding deep inside her. She moved her hand up into his hair and felt his skin prickle under her touch.
They reluctantly broke apart to regain their breathe. Tommy could feel her heart racing against his stomach, slightly faster than even his was thumping. "Oh my."
Barbara laughed softly against his chest. "Oh my? That's all you can say?"
"I wasn't quite expecting that."
"What were you expecting?"
Tommy hugged her close. "I didn't think one kiss would change my life forever."
"Really? I did. Imagine what two will do then."
They stayed by the lake for an hour. Very few words passed between them but gentle caresses of each other's faces, passionate kisses and a few happy tears as they lovingly held each other helped them to come to terms with their future. Tommy's thoughts raced ahead to a quiet wedding, retirement from the force and years spent together raising a tribe of happy, intelligent, well-adjusted children. By contrast Barbara was making the most of every tender touch, committing them to memory and hoping that somehow this would last long enough to progress to a wonderful, rapturous night.
Tommy stroked her head as he held her. They had been standing but over the succession of embraces and kisses they had sunk onto the thick grassy bank of the lake. Her hand began to undo the button on his shirt. He had resisted touching her intimately although his gingers nearly ached from the effort. He closed his hand over hers. "Not yet. Not tonight." He rolled closer so she would understand he wanted her. "I want to make love to you Barbara but not in a park or at our places where too many memories haunt the dark corners. I want to give you everything Barbara, my love, my life, my soul."
"Soon." It was a request, a question and and order.
"Yes soon, I promise," he whispered as he kissed her again. "I want to worship you like a goddess and spoil you like a princess."
"Oh god Tommy," she murmured as he kissed her throat, "then you had better take me home or I might not be able to stop."
In the car she had rested her hand lightly on his leg and watched him. He looked less tense and younger than he had before. When he smiled at her it ignited a burning desire stronger than she had imagined possible. So at her door she hoped her kiss and roving hand might change his mind.
"Don't Barbara please," he begged as he stilled her hand, "I want to, more than anything, but l must insist that we wait."
Barbara acquiesced but was reluctant to let him leave. "Do you want to come in for coffee?"
Tommy pushed a strand if hair from her forehead. "No, if I go in I will stay. I have to go Barbara. I'll write up my report in the morning so no one pesters us then I'll pick you up at eleven."
She sighed and nodded. "Thanks for tonight. It was..."
"Magnificent! Barbara there is so much to say, so much for us to plan but I need to go now." He kissed her quickly then pulled away. "I'll see you in thirteen hours."
Barbara watched him drive away then danced into her house. She kicked her shoes off near the door, threw her bag on the kitchen counter and collapsed backwards onto her bed. Tommy had kissed her and promised to worship her. Life could not be better and she began to run through the evening again, recalling how each caress and kiss had made her feel.
She woke around four. She was still dressed on top of her bed. She stripped off and climbed into bed and began to think of the day ahead. She would have the most handsome man at the wedding in her arm and people would see him looking at her lovingly. They would not have to pretend to be close, they almost were lovers. She smiled at that thought then frowned. She had planned to wear her navy suit to the wedding and a simple red and gold cocktail dress with a nondescript pattern that she had picked up cheaply at the market to the reception. She had seen a lovely deep-purple evening gown at the local charity shop that she had considered buying but with no shoulder straps she had thought it was too daring to even try on. Now, after last night. she wanted to look her best. She wanted to be worthy of Tommy. She wanted to be attractive for Tommy and for once in her life she wanted to feel sexy.
She was waiting impatiently at the shop when it opened fifteen minutes late. She nervously explained to the middle-aged portly lady that she would like to try the gown. "It will compliment your lovely eyes beautifully," the woman said making her blush.
They both stood staring at her image in the mirror. Even with her bra straps showing comically above the dress she looked stunning. Barbara barely recognised herself. The fitted bodice hugged her perfectly accentuating her full breasts that she normally did everything to hide and her full hips stretched the dress just a touch, dramatically outlining her hourglass figure and hinting at legs longer than might be expected.
"It transforms you," the woman said in awe.
Barbara stared at the soft folds of the full skirt that fell to the floor. It was a plain design without frills and furbelows yet the soft satin caught the light as she moved to create an elegant grace Barbara could never have imagined she would possess. "I'll take it."
By ten o'clock she was home with her dress and a pair of purple shoes that had been donated with the dress. Despite her initial doubts the woman had convinced her that the tight bodice did not require a bra. It seemed too much but she had agreed when she had removed hers at the shop and no it was too late to renege. She carefully packed it into a large suitcase that she had had not used for years. It had smelt vaguely musty so she had flapped it around then sprayed it with her only scent which she added to her contents in case she needed to refresh it. The other dress would do for the wedding and her suit could stay in the cupboard. Not that he would see them but she made sure she packed only her best underwear. After she was pacing her lounge anxiously waiting for Tommy to arrive she suddenly remembered her toiletries.
At ten fifty-five Barbara was ready. She had run through a checklist of everything she needed. It was all packed into her case except for the six crystal whiskey tumblers she had bought as the wedding gift and had paid a pound extra to have the shop wrap appropriately. The doorbell rang and she took a very deep breath before opening.
Tommy was wearing jeans, a casual blue shirt and broad smile. She was in his arms before she had said 'hello' and he was kissing her hard. "These last hours without you have been hell," he said earnestly, "but we can make up for it now."
She knew she was beaming like a child at Christmas but she did not care. However long this lasted she would make the most if it. "We have a wedding to go to," she reminded him.
"And sadly it's not ours."
Barbara was unable to move. Tommy gave her a quick peck on her cheek then picked up her case and took it to the car. "Come on then," he called out.
Neither spoke much as they drove. Tommy tried to focus on the traffic but her hand on his thigh was driving him mad and he squirmed uncomfortably, sorry that he had worn his tightest jeans. "Barbara, moving your hand is making it hard for me to concentrate." She removed it quickly with a muttered apology. His leg felt naked. "Put it back please, just don't stroke so much."
His voice was almost soprano and Barbara laughed despite her cheeks showing her embarrassment. "Sorry, it's just that I...want to touch you, to feel connected."
Tommy spotted a side road and quickly turned. He pulled over, switched off the engine and leant across awkwardly to kiss her. Passions flared as they kissed. He wondered briefly if he should pull the picnic rug from his boot and make love to her in the nearby field.
He pulled away. "I want that too but we have to focus. Wedding today then tomorrow..."
Barbara grumbled about her family also burdening her life. It made him smile and he hugged her to his chest. "Maybe we should create our own family that we like," he thought not realising he had spoken aloud.