Title: If you won't, I will.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: When Lenalee succumbs in despair for worrying too much about her loved ones, Lavi casted away everything and voices out his thoughts.

I do not own D. Gray-Man.

...

Lavi twitches his visible eye as he watches Lenalee exhibits quiet but painfully heavy sobs. It was always been like this. Whenever her family got involved into some troublesome occurrences, she always grieves and beats herself until the assurance of everything being fine reaches her.

She always thinks about other people, always prioritizing their safety over her own, always giving them everything, leaving nothing for her own. Lavi hates that side of her. Needless to say, he understands why she does it; her family and friends mean the world to her. But that doesn't mean that he agrees to it, or at least at the method she often used to protect them.

Lavi was always watching her on the sidelines, not only because of his duties as the Bookman Jr., but also because she caught his interest in more ways than one. It always hurts him to watch her cry like that. It was painful and almost unbearable yet he must stay as a watcher. It's not because he doesn't know what to do, also not because he doesn't want to do it, God knows how many times he was tempted to do it, only, he can't. He shouldn't do it.

However though, when he heard her weeped as if she was slowly dying inside as she mumbles some incoherent words which Lavi thinks were the names of her family, his restraint loosened and crumbled into pieces. His heart was wrenching so very tightly at the sight in front of him, making him reached past his limits.

He couldn't take it anymore. The very same Lenalee who he admires so much because of her beautiful smile was slowly and gradually succumbing in despair and Lavi couldn't bear to stay on the sidelines anymore.

He clenches his fist and gritted his teeth as he made one of the biggest decision in his life that will eventually change his whole being. He went near her and sat on the cold cobblestone floor only a few inches beside her.

"I'm tired of this." He quietly muttered as he looked down on her feet which where sprawled on the floor, bare and cold. Lenalee seemed to pause upon hearing him but did not entirely stopped.

"I'm tired of seeing you like this." Lavi continued, his head was still lowered so he missed the apologetic look Lenalee was giving him.

"I understand. I'm sorry." Lenalee spoke, her voice was coarse and very weak. She started to move but Lavi gently grip her shoulder with both of his arm.

"No, you don't understand." Lavi's voice wasn't gentle, it was emotionless, yet Lenalee felt something soft in it, as if the coldness was only a front or a facade that he made to hide away his true intentions.

"Lavi?"

"Lenalee, you're always overdoing things when it comes to other people. I can't take it anymore, I don't want to see you like this ever again." Lavi started and Lenalee could only stare at him as he voices out everything that was on his mind.

"You always worry too much, about Allen, me, Yuu, Kuro-chan, Miranda and the rest of the exorcists. About Komui, Reever and all the people in the Order. But you don't even think about yourself. You were hurt too, tired and heavily injured, yet the first thing on your mind was the safety of other people than yourself. You're taking care of your family without leaving any care for yourself and that is not how it should be." Lavi paused, he was already half yelling but he didn't care if it means getting her understand his opinion.

"I know, I understand why you're doing this and I won't force you to stop, I won't even tell you to change ways because it's what makes you, you. But I won't let you stop me from doing what I wanted to do."

"Lavi, what do you mean?" Lenalee asked, still staring at his slightly trembling form due to frustration. Finally, Lavi looked ahead and faced her, his emerald eye full of determination and willpower.

"You can continue doing what you do, you can give them every piece of your care if it makes you feel better. You can continue not worrying about yourself because I decided that I will." He stared at her, visible eye unmoving as he fixed it on her own.

"L-Lavi." Lenalee murmured, a little confused and anxious of what she was hearing.

"If you don't want to take care of yourself, then I will. I will look out for you, worry about you, prioritize you and think about only you. I will always watch you and stay by your side."

"But Lavi, you are-" Lenalee was cut off as Lavi embraces her with all his might, tightly securing her little form on his own arms. He hugged her and refuses to let her finish what she was about to say.

"Don't say it. I knew what you're thinking but please stop. Just let me do this. I will take care of everything else and promise to protect you and stay with you no matter what. I will do it and you can't stop me." Lavi whispered softly but firmly. He already decided to do this with the knowledge of the consequences from doing it, and he was resolve to still do it, no matter what.

Lenalee let a tear rolled on her cheek once again, but this time, it wasn't of a despair, it was of gratitude and hope. She sighed contentedly as she gave in and relaxed on Lavi's arms. "Thank you, Lavi." She breathed as another tear fell from her now red eyes. Lavi replied a brief hum while still hugging her as if he doesn't want to let her go. But perhaps he really doesn't.

...

I'm accepting any forms of reaction, from calm and normal to bloody and trashy, just send me a review if you have some. Thanks a lot for checking it out!

ps. I really like the Allena pairing but this Lavilena successfully surpasses it and claimed the crown as my official DGM OTP.