Looking up, Hermione met light grey eyes watching her. Biting her bottom lip, she thought how to reply. Dropping her face Hermione looked down on her hands in her lap. She didn't know how to start a conversation, a proper civil conversation with Malfoy. Over the years, all she heard were a bunch of insults from the young man standing beside her. Watching her now.

And just yesterday, he apologised for being such a prat to her and her friends.

"You have questions I suppose", she heard Malfoy say. It wasn't a question, he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't accept his apology without further questions. That scared her a bit but she didn't show it. Instead, she thought about with which question to start. She had a lot to ask. Millions of questions on her mind.

"Why did you apologised to me in the first place?" It was a simple question and a start.

Hermione looked up and saw Malfoy looking down on his shoes. He had to think about an answer?

Malfoy put out his wand, melting the snow around them and drying the grass beneath the snow. Putting a Warming – Charm around them Malfoy made to sit on the now dried grass with his legs crossed.

Not looking up at her, he started to explain:

"After our fifth year when my father was sent to Azkaban and my freaking aunt escaped, V..oldemort thought it would be a great idea to spend his time at the Manor. My mother was not thrilled but Bella convinced her to let him stay as long as he wishes. You know that that summer I became a Death Eater?" He looked up and Hermione just nodded. Facing the grass again, he continued: "He sent me to a suicide mission knowing I definitely would fail. I did, thought, but by sneaking the Death Eaters into the castle pleased him so we could live on.

At that point, I was fully accepted to join every meeting they had. It was hard to act approving about everything they did during those meetings. Granger, they tortured and killed muggle children just for fun. It made me sick every time I had to witness. One day my freaking aunt brought a young girl into the Manor. She was around fourteen or fifteen years old. She had scars all over her body so my aunt had a go with her before bringing her in. Bella threw the girl in front of me and said I could do anything I had in mind with her. The girl was frightened and I thought at that moment I had to bring her out of this. I surly knew I couldn't do it with everyone staring at me so I asked for a few minutes alone with her. The grin Bella had on her face was creepy. She maybe thought that I was about to rape that girl. When I dragged her out of the Drawing Room towards the dungeons she pleaded, cried. She didn't want to die. My heart, yes Granger I actually have one"; he looked up again seeing that Hermione had raised an eyebrow. He continued while looking at her: "it clenched in agony. I couldn't bear her crying so I silenced her with a charm. I brought her down to the dungeons cried out for Dobby, hoping that he'll still hear me. I loved that elf, he was always good to me…" He felt silent. Hermione saw the sadness spreading across his face. "If you'd like to visit his grave I could arrange something" she said. Malfoy looked surprised alongside his sadness. "His grave?" he asked, "you really buried him?" Hermione just nodded. Harry wanted to bury the elf that saved their lives properly. And he even did it the Muggelway. Malfoy didn't have to say it aloud but Hermione could see that he was thankful. Minutes past while they were just looking at each other.

"Anyway", he continued, "I was glad that Dobby actually arrived. I couldn't ask any other House-elf 'cause they would have reported me to my father. I told Dobby to bring the girl out of the Manor once Wormtail saw her. I later told my aunt I wasn't finished with her and would like to have another go. Later, once Wormtail saw her, Dobby brought her out and I wanted to check on her and obviously didn't find her. Bella was furious, of course thinking that Wormtail either brought her out or killed her and disposed her body."

He felt silent again, facing the ground. Hermione saw that what he would say now was hard for him and he didn't want to look at her while telling her.

"And then Easter came" he swallowed hard knowing that whatever he was about to tell her now would be including her. Easter. They were caught by Snatchers and brought to Malfoy Manor. Hermione shivered looking down at her scar, which was thankfully covered by her clothes.

"The moment I saw you I recognised you. Of course, you tried to disguise Potter, but you and Weasley… I know right away that it was you three. "

He stopped and Hermione had to ask that question. "Then why hadn't you said so? "

Malfoy looked up at her. That day came always crashing down on him once he closes his eyes.

"If I did then we would be again on Voldemort's good side. That's what my father said. However, I knew if I wouldn't lie now there won't be a chance that Potter could kill him. I struggled. We were punished, thought, cause my father did call him but by the time he arrived you already escaped. I went back to Hogwarts. Trying to fight those images of you. You lying on the floor at my home being tortured by my aunt while I just stand there and watched. "

He felt guilty, Hermione thought. Guilty because he couldn't help her at that faithful moment.

"It's not your fault", she said, "you couldn't help me without being tortured or even killed yourself. "

Malfoy dropped his face and didn't say something to it.

Minutes past without a word speaking between them.

"When you saved Goyle and me…I didn't understand why you did it but like I already said yesterday, I'm thankful for that. I was a complete asshole during our school time and you still saved us.

During the battle, I finally realised how wrong my father was. How wrong this whole blood issue was. People were fighting for the right things. Fighting while others around them were dying. Falling.

My heart dropped when Voldemort and the Death Eaters came out of the Forbidden Forest, carrying – what we all thought – a dead Potter. I thought that the last hope for peace was gone. I didn't want to go over but my mother called and I had to go. I was glad when Potter finally killed that half – blooded bastard. And then I saw the three of you standing at the edge of the bridge. Smiling. Happy that it was over. And so was I. "

Malfoy was struggling to find the next few words. They needed to be well chosen.

"I didn't know how to approach you once I saw that you, too, returned to school. I wanted to. Badly. Although I was cleared of everything I did, and so was my mother, I felt that I simply had to apologise to you."

With the last sentence, Malfoy stood up and left a very confused Hermione behind.

Said was still sitting on that stub and again thought about that blond wizard. He truly felt like shit, she had to acknowledge that. And his apology was sincere. Hermione just had to accept it. Maybe they could start at point zero? Starting new? But maybe simple civil conversations would also be nice?

Hermione just had to wait and see what will coming with that young Slytherin.

Draco went straight to his dorm. He didn't want to run into someone, especially not…

"Draaaacooo! ", he heard someone screaming. He knew that annoying voice. He just didn't want to face her. He knew he probably looked like shit after he blurred his soul out to Granger. He told her everything he wanted her to know.

Draco ignored that high-pitched voice of Pansy Parkinson, closed the door behind him and put a few charms on that door so Pansy couldn't enter. He lay down on his bed and thought about Granger. He sighed and rolled on his stomach. Of course he had classes to attend right now but the Headmistress told him at the beginning of this year that if there should be a day he needs to be alone because the nightmares – yes he told McGonagall about his nightmares – were so bad that he wouldn't be able to focus on his schoolwork, he could take the day off. He just had to tell his Head of House.

Draco sent a quick note, informing his Head that he would take this day off. Sitting again on his bed he thought about the previous conversation. Putting those blood-issues aside, he realised that Granger wasn't that bad to be around. No wonder Potthead and Weaslbee stuck to her like some puppies. He understood Potter, that boy wasn't dumb, but Weasley? He had passed his O.W.L.s but Draco had the slight feeling that without Granger he wouldn't have. She was smart, though, smarter than most of his fellow classmates. He once heard, years ago, when a teacher had called her the brightest witch of their age. She proofed that numerous times. She was a know-it-all but not without reason. Sometimes annoying, sometimes very productive. He would like to spend more time with her. He truly would. Lying down on his bed Draco closed his eyes. He didn't sleep well last night. The moment he saw Granger lying on the floor brought bad memories back. He had the worst nightmare that night. Madame Pomfrey offered him a poison but Draco declined telling he was a big boy and could handle a few nightmares on his own.

But last night….

He didn't want to think back to that nightmare. It was terrifying. Once again, he stood in that room in his home. A room he declines to enter since that incident with Granger. But in his nightmare, he had to. He saw Granger, saw her crying while Bella crucioed her. And then he was suddenly alone with her. She was still lying on the floor, crying, pleading with him to end her life. But he saw himself smiling, shaking his head and telling her that he wasn't finished with her and with a wave of his wand, Granger's clothes disappeared. She was completely naked. Another wave and she was bound. She cried, screamed, knew what was going to happen. Draco unbuttoned his trousers and kneeled in front of her.

Draco woke up screaming that night. Fled his dorm and spent the rest of the night reading in the Common Room, refusing to go back to sleep.

A knock on the door interrupted Draco's nap. With sleepy eyes, he stood up and opened the door just to see a first year standing in front of him.

"What exactly do you want to disrupt me?" he sneered at the young student. The boy looked terrified. Draco saw that the boy had a piece of parchment in his hands, which were nervously shaken.

"Is that for me?" he asked, pointing at the parchment. The boy just nodded and handed it over. Draco couldn't blink as fast as the boy run back to the Common Room. Did he look that scary?

Closing the door again, he enrolled the parchment and saw that it was a note from Granger.

Why hadn't she just owled him?

Leaning against the door Draco read:

I would like to meet you at the Astronomy Tower after dinner if it's possible.

HG

"That's it?" Draco said aloud. Moreover, how did she think he should reply to that?

He looked at his watch and groaned. He slept the whole day. It was nearly dinnertime.

Draco changed into some casual clothes and went up to the Great Hall. Maybe Granger was already there?

And he was right. Granger was already sitting with the She-Weasle at the Gryffindor table. Chatting and laughing. He went straight to his table and sat down, not really hungry even though he overslept lunch.

Draco glanced over and was immediately locked with a pair of hazel eyes. Granger was watching him!

She looked over with two raised eyebrows, clearly waiting for his answer. So he just nodded. Draco saw her smile and returning to her conversation with her friend.

A bit surprised he filled his plate with food. Glancing now and then over to Granger. His view was suddenly interrupted by Pansy who settled herself across from him.

"What's wrong with you, Drakie?" she asked. Draco winced. He hated when she called him that and how often did he tell her not to? Often enough!

"It's none of your business!" he spat, not looking up. He didn't want to deal with his on and off girlfriend. Finishing his dinner, he looked at the Gryffindor table and saw that Granger was still eating. He waited for her to look over to him, strolled out and towards the Astronomy Tower. He had issues to go there but if Granger asked, he had to obey. He didn't know why, though, but he had to. He wanted to!

Leaning against the railing, Draco thought back to that night the Headmaster died. His fault, again. Looking up at the sky, he fought back tears. He was a Malfoy damn it! No emotions!

A sudden noise alert him that Granger was coming up. He took a few deep breaths, tried to calm down.

"Thank you for coming, Malfoy" he heard her say. He didn't turn around, afraid that his eyes would be tearful. He didn't want her to see him broken. He just shrugged with his shoulders, telling her that he didn't mind.

"Is it hard for you to be here?" she suddenly asked. Draco gasped. How did she know?

He was still afraid to open his mouth. Did she asked him to come here to pay him all the insults back he spat at her? Was she that cruel? But he still refused to answer. His hands started to shake. He wasn't furious, he was afraid.

He startled when he felt something at his back. Something warm and soft. He looked down and saw two small hands wrapped around him. Was she hugging him?

It felt warm and soothing. He wanted to turn around, sank down on the floor with her, cradle with her and cry. He wanted so badly to cry at that moment. So many things came crashing down on him and she comforted him. Maybe without knowing?

His whole body started to shake and he felt how Granger turned him around. Her hands left his waist. He looked down, afraid to look at those hazel eyes, afraid to see her smile at his broken state. He closed his eyes and felt her arms around his neck. She put his head on her shoulder and stroke his head. He broke. Falling onto his knees, Granger followed, not losing her grip on him, he cried. Cried like a small boy.

TBC

SnapeEvans