When Phil had come out as Pansexual he had received a lot of hate from some of his followers, though most were supportive. Dan, of course, had supported him. Though many 'phans' had insisted that Dan could now come out too and reveal that the two were dating, Dan was actually straight. The fact that Phil was pan didn't bother Dan at all, he couldn't see how it would change Phil or their friendship, after all it's not like he woke up that day and decided he felt the way he did, he had always been that way but just hadn't admitted it. Even though Phil's family and Dan had offered him endless support, Phil was finding it difficult to cope with the constant hate and death threats he received. He had turned to drugs.
Dan didn't realise this was happening until he found Phil in a terrible state after coming home a day early from a friends who he was supposed to be staying with for a few days. Phil had overdosed and if Dan hadn't found him and called an ambulance Phil would have died there and then. Instead, Phil died almost a year after this from a heart condition his extensive drug use during this difficult time had caused. For months Phil had been suffering with unexplained fainting. But he had been mentally repairing and Dan had started to believe that the worst was behind them, that Phil would pull through this and maybe even start making videos again. One night Phil had passed out in their flat, Dan had called an ambulance and waited, supporting Phil's head in his lap. When the medics arrived Dan rode in the ambulance, holding Phil's hand, feeling his weak pulse desperately trying to cling on to life.
"Come on Philly, you can make it through this." Dan was not allowed through to theatre but stayed in the waiting area. He switched between nervously pacing the small yellow room and sitting bouncing his leg for almost an hour. He had just started pacing the room again when a woman in blue scrubs came into the room. Her face was kind and understanding, too understanding.
"Mr. Howell?" She asked.
"Yes, why? Where's Phil? Is... Is he alright? Can I see him?" Dan replied.
The woman walked over to him and said, "I think you should take a seat." Dan couldn't move. That's what people always said when the worst happened. But no… No that couldn't be right. Phil was just down the hall wasn't he? Propped up in some communal ward like he had been every other time he had passed out and Dan was unable to wake him…
"Philip took a turn for the worse and eventually his heart gave up. I'm sorry. You should know that if you need to talk to someone, a grievance counselor for instance, we have an excellent team at your disposal."