Chapter Two - An inside look of Saitama's life.
At last, I finally arrived at my apartment. Being exposed into lots of people exhausts me. Thus, the best thing to resolve this is to sleep and recharge. My body is worn out easily. I always have this kind of feeling, I don't know what it's called though. I fumbled with my keys and unlocked the door, sprinting to my futon and throwing my suitcase away, not caring if it cracked when it hit the floor. Or cleaning my place as it is very messy. Crumpled papers everywhere, plates that haven't been washed yet, used clothes that are stacked on the chair near the table beside the wall, mangas scattered across the floor, and the trash bin that is always full. All I need now is rest. I didn't even bother to change my clothes anymore. Plopping on the soft bedding, arms wide open, I recalled the questionnaire given to me by that kid Gen...What was his name again? Genchar? Gengar? Gelo? Gen-
Ah, nevermind. I'm exhausted.
I slowly closed my eyes and let my consciousness wander into deep sleep.
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I can't sleep.
Four hours have passed when I learned that I've been staring at the dusty ceiling the whole time. My body wants to sleep in peace but my brain won't stop blabbering. Can't make it shut up. Stupid random stuff going in my head for hours. Too much to think about, too many plans, too many ideas. Honestly, I've always wanted to share these thoughts, although I doubt anyone else will be willing to listen until the crack of dawn. Sometimes, I can't even tell if I'm still dreaming or awake. Without any alarm, I can't tell when I woke up. But I always fall asleep when I feel accomplished.
Oh.
I guess that's it.
Being alone doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I like solitude. I feel tranquil. I've already accepted my life as a hermit, a person who's isolated from others. People call me weird and that's fine. I like being weird. Furthermore, their opinions aren't important so their harsh insults doesn't get to me. What matters most is to reach my goals. To have an economic stability, fall in love, enough to get married and start a family, or to be a hero. I've always dreamed to live the way I want. Even so, I'm always rejected when I try to apply as a salaryman. Who knows if I have the capability to fall in love. I am oblivious to love. I haven't the faintest idea of what it feels like. In addition, they said that being a hero is a ridiculous thing. I'm losing hope.
What was the point of going through this?
I tried remembering happy moments, but they can't be worth what I'm going through right now. I know I'm being whiny. And I also know it's not my fault, but I can't do anything about this. My emotions are uncontrollable, more like an outburst. I can be 0-100 real quick. I always see people who seem depressed and when they got some money from their boyfriend or girlfriend, they become instantly happy. Why can't happiness be that easy for me to achieve?
Death.
I am not afraid of death. I tend to have a different view about it. I view death as necessary and static. Death is just a natural occurrence. Don't get me wrong, I do feel upset when someone close to me dies. I do some crazy rationalizing and go for that sense of detachment. When I think about it, I'm starting to feel somewhat paranoid. Then later I'll just calm down, as if nothing happened. I just don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel this way constantly, day and night. But it's more rampant at night. My bouts of depression are quite often that it's eating my emotions away, obliterating any kind or form that try to weasel their ways into my mind. It's almost like all of my logical senses and clear thinking are gone. I'm not being myself. I feel indifferent. Or is this just the way I really am?
Damn it. This is bad.
I let myself wallow in despair once again.
I rose from my bed and grabbed my suitcase, putting out the survey. Answering this can distract me away from my negative thoughts. I thought. I read the title quietly and moved my lips in a synchronizing manner.
Survey Tackling the Dreams and Hopes of People.
I, Genos, is conducting a research into what kinds of dreams and hopes each person has. It will take more than half an hour to complete this survey. All responses are anonymous and the respondent will get credited.
Write to the surveyor at
(insert email here, the site doesn't allow any)
and will gladly send to you the analysis free of charge. It would be greatly appreciated if you pass this along to someone you know who might also benefit from the results.
Sincerely,
Genos
Student at New Evolution High
+ 1 987 305 2880
Wow. Talk about dreams and hopes.
I answered the basic questions hastily like age, sex, civil status, work and etc. Moving on to the real questions, it asks if you want to set the given situations as your life goals. It ranges from no chance from definitely. Put a check mark of your preferred range. Sounds easy.
1.) Celebrities will want to be your friend. No chance.
2.) Each day of your work is fulfilling. Definitely. I want to have fun in doing the things I want. And for me, that is fulfilling.
3.) Everyone you know loves you. Moderate chance, if he meant my acquaintances are included. Some even require their friends to reciprocate an emotional response and I'm not good at that.
4.) Someone will write a book about your life. Do I want that? I want to be recognized but I don't like to hog all the attention to the extent it invades my privacy.
5.) Whenever you have a problem, your friends will drop what they are doing to support you. Slight chance. I can deal with my problems by myself.
6.) You will appear regularly on TV. No chance.
7.) You will be famous. Slight chance.
8.) You will be important in political circles. No chance.
9.) You will be on a magazine list of the sexiest people alive. Wtf. No chance.
10.) You will be the president of your city. No chance. I prefer to live in the background. I don't like to lead.
11.) You will create a great work of art, music, or poetry. Moderate chance. I'm actually fond of artsy stuff. Like manga art.
12.) You will create world peace. Moderate chance. Since it comes along when you're a hero.
13.) You will develop a TV show or a movie. No chance.
14.) You will do only things you really like to do, and nothing else. Definitely.
15.) You will enjoy everyday to the max. Definitely. Oh, come on. I mean who doesn't? I've been longing to be happy for a long time now.
16.) You will have 10 close friends. Slight chance. Five is a lot for me...Or as long as I can connect with them.
17.) 100 friends. Oh hell no. No chance.
18.) You will have a million dollars or more. Very good chance. But it's not my top priority. Being stable is enough.
19.) You will have at least 50 lovers in your lifetime. No chance. I'm not a fuckboy.
20.) You will have the closest family relationship imaginable. Uhh moderate? I don't want a clingy and dependent family member.
And that's only the first half. More to go.
I need to take a break. Tea.
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Two city presidents namely Hitomi Kobayashi of City H and Shiro Akutsugi of City G are officially in bad terms with each other and recently declared a warfare, 8:56 a.m. earlier. The war is scheduled to start the next month, which is January. No details were given out as to why they quarreled last City Presidential Meeting last June. Consequently, residents from the stated cities are advised to evacuate as soon as they can. Panic spread out through the other neighboring cities as well. Evacuation centers are expected to open the day after tomorrow.
"Good thing I'm living far away from those cities. I don't have to worry that much." I unknowingly sipped my tea and spat it out in my astonishment. "Ack!" I forgot that the beverage is still hot. I think I burned my tongue...
I didn't intend to watch more news and carried myself to the table where the survey is placed, then switched off the television. Shit, I haven't finished the other one yet and the kid will visit tomorrow. I'm now regretting my decision. Really.
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3:30 o'clock in the morning and here I am - wide awake. The survey is done, but my brain isn't. Thoughts still flow like a rampaging river. Should I buy sleeping pills? My eyebags are getting darker and deeper...The air grows cold, cold, cold and there's nothing I can do aside from sending shivers to my skin. Reddened and almost dried eyes are open until the dusk of dawn. My insomnia is on a full swing. Sleeping pattern is screwed. I feel dizzy, wanting to bang my head to the wall. The worst part is that it's been going for about a year already. Got no money and time to see a doctor. Rent adds more weight to my burden. How am I supposed to pay when I got no job? Oh goddamit, stop thinking! Just go to sleep! You can think about it tomorrow...Aaaaaa
Someone shoot me.
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Knock knock!
I opened the door to see the blond kid in front of me.
"Good morning Saitama...san..." Genos gaped at the sight. "Saitama-san are you okay? You don't seem well..."
Head feeling heavy and light at the same time, I laughed out my situation. "Ahaha..ha...ha..."
I want to sleep.
If you have any suggestions, comment away. Constructive criticism is also welcome.
In case you know MBTI, I typed Saitama as an INTP. He clearly shows it in the show. I'm trying my best to make him stay in character but there may be times that he'll be out of character due to the fact I'm INTP/INFP. I don't know what my type really is, but I'm leaning towards INTP right now. You can take the test at to know yours if you are ever curious about your type. By the way, Genos is obviously an ESTJ.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. There are more to come.