Sitting in the mall's cafeteria, Merlin smiled, beamed more like, as he showed off his new, flashy license to his friends. Arthur watched from afar, his head resting in one of his hands, while his other hand spooned ice cream he wasn't really interested in eating.
"Oh, for fucks sake," Gwaine said, from next to Arthur. "Just fuck him already!"
"What?" Arthur looked over, and glared at Gwaine. Because he was being very loud and Arthur really didn't like what he just said. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"For the past two weeks all you've done is stare at him," Gwaine told him. "It's getting on my nerves."
"Well, I'm just so sorry, alright?" Arthur fought back. It was true though. For the last two weeks, that's all Arthur seemed to do, was stare at Merlin, think about Merlin. If Gwaine thought it was getting on his nerves, he should try being Arthur for a second. Maybe it was just that he didn't understand it. That night, in Merlin's bed, he really had wanted to kiss Merlin, and he had thought those feelings would go away, but they didn't. And what worse, was Merlin never mentioned it, he acted like it never happened at all. It was confusing.
"Maybe it was just because he was high…" Arthur said, offhanded, more to himself than to Gwaine. He hadn't told Gwaine what happened, and he wasn't going to. Gwaine was smart enough to figure it out on his own, anyway. "Maybe he doesn't remember…"
"He does," Gwaine said, plainly. "He just isn't sure if you fancy him back."
"Merlin doesn't fancy me."
"No?" Gwaine said, and in his voice was such a smirk, that Arthur had to look over, if not only to glare, but to figure out why. "Read his diary."
"What?" Arthur asked again. "Merlin doesn't have one, even if I did want to do that…which I don't."
"It's under his bed in a brown little box," Gwaine corrected him, or thought he was correcting him anyway. Arthur rolled his eyes, and looked back at Merlin, who was hugging Gwen and smiling, he looked so happy. And Arthur didn't like the warm feeling he got from that notion.
"That's his dairy from before we were friends," Arthur told him. Because he remembered Merlin telling him that once, and how the book was full of not so nice things about Arthur.
"Yeah, I know," Gwaine said, with a grin.
Arthur raised an eyebrow at this, but no matter what Gwaine said, he just wasn't going to read Merlin's diary. There was no point to. Because, again, no matter what Gwaine said, Merlin didn't fancy him and Arthur didn't fancy Merlin, either.
XXX
Things felt strange, being alone with Merlin, they had been alone so few times since the night in Merlin's bed and now, Arthur didn't know what to do, or say, or how to act. It was frustrating to say the least, because this was Merlin. Merlin, he had always felt the most comfortable around Merlin, more so than any of his friends. And now, everything was just different.
And Merlin didn't mention it, didn't say anything, even though the weight of it was sitting between them like an elephant on a tightrope. He just drove around in Arthur's car, bobbing his head to a new Taylor Swift song and acting as if nothing was wrong. Whilst Arthur sat next to him, in the passenger side, and tried not to be sick.
He didn't want to lose his best mate over a kiss he didn't even get. And the fact that he still wanted the kiss, it scared him. He shouldn't want to kiss Merlin, he didn't want to kiss Merlin. That was just it, he didn't. He really didn't. But then, he looked over and Merlin was looking back at him and he thought then, that yeah, alright, maybe he did want to kiss Merlin a little bit. But, even so, that didn't mean he wanted to lose his friend.
"Are you going to answer me?" Merlin asked, suddenly and Arthur just stared. He had no idea what the other was talking about, he hadn't even known Merlin was talking to him in the first place. "Do you want a burger?" Merlin asked again, apparently, and gave Arthur a sideways look.
"Uh, no," Arthur said, eyes shifting away from Merlin, before too long. "I'm not hungry."
"You're never hungry anymore."
It's because you're killing me, he thought, but didn't say it.
After Merlin got himself some food, and Arthur too, even though he didn't feel like eating it, they headed back to the coffee shop. They walked in to find Agravaine sitting at one of the tables, with a newspaper and a cup of coffee. He was allowed in the shop now, by Hunith anyway; who thought Merlin approved enough to allow this. Which, he did not. Merlin scowled, as he always did, whenever Agravaine was around, and went off to the kitchen.
Arthur didn't want to follow Merlin, but he also sort of did. It was confusing and he didn't know what to do, so he just sort of stood there, looking around.
"Perhaps your mother should hire someone useful, not just a lay-about who does nothing whilst at work," Agravaine commented, and that settled it. One day Arthur was going to punch Agravaine in the face, he decided, and then, he went stomping back into the kitchen.
He found Merlin with a rolling pin, hitting an uncooked loaf like he hated it. Arthur could just picture that being Agravaine's head.
"Remember that time you wanted to kill Agravaine?" Arthur asked, coming to stand next to Merlin. "I'll help you."
"We can hide the body at Gweaine's house!" Merlin was quick to stop what he was doing and turn to look at Arthur, hopefully. Arthur smiled.
"And you can drive the getaway car."
"We can move to Ireland," Merlin continued. " I'll be called Steve and you can be called Arnold, and we'll never be hear from again."
"And once every year we'll come back just to dance on Agravaine's grave."
"I like this plan," Merlin grinned, running a flour clad hand through his hair and Arthur laughed at the white that mixed with his dark hair now. "Damn it.." Merlin mumbled, when he realized what he had done.
Arthur laughed again, and said, "I don't get why he's such a douche bag." He didn't care if Agravaine was only in the other room, and that there was a small chance he, or one of their mums could hear. Merlin didn't seem to care either.
"I think he was hit over the head too many times as a child and is a bit brain dead," Merlin said. "No one can be born such a bastard."
Arthur grinned, and nodded his head. And he thought then, that maybe he should actually be thankful to Agravaine, this was the first normal conversation he and Merlin had in weeks, without him worrying or thinking too much. And he had missed it, far too much.
"Why don't we blow off work?" Arthur suggested then. "If he thinks we're lay-abouts, might as well prove him right, yeah?"
Merlin, beaming, was the first one out of the front door. White streaks in his hair and all, nearly skipping passed Avragaine as he went. And Arthur followed after him, smirking at Agravaine's annoyed face, and thinking that maybe if he fancied Merlin a little bit, it was okay. Because Merlin was pretty amazing, at least right now anyway.
XXX
There were so many feelings swirling around in Arthur that he knew this couldn't be right. How could one day, he go from wanting to shove Merlin against a wall and snog him, to another, when he wanted to find the deepest closet known to man and hide in it until he was at least fifty-five. It didn't make sense. But here he was, confused, wondering how his heart could bleed out so many times, leaving a pool of nastiness in its wake, whenever Merlin did anyway even remotely close to what some may call cute.
Arthur was disgusted with himself. And how could he possibly fancy Merlin when he wasn't even gay?
Merlin, tonight, was playing Life with Lance and Gwen. (Whom, were playing as a married couple, and somehow that just seemed like it was against the rules.) Percy and Leon were playing too. Gwaine had opted out this round. Because this was the second time they had played it, Arthur really didn't see the point of the game, and didn't want to play either time. Gwaine, who often gets bored quickly as it is, came over and sat next to Arthur, beer in hand. The game was set up in the middle of the floor, and the sofa had been pushed back a bit, to give them room.
Hunith would be gone all night, as always, so they didn't have to worry about her coming in and getting mad about the noise and mess. (And drinking.)
"So, figured it out yet?" Gwaine asked, causally and smirked at Arthur. He didn't have to look over to know Gwaine was smirking, Gwaine was always smirking about something.
"I don't know what you mean."
"God, you both are complete idiots," Gwaine commented. "You both like each other, why are you making it so hard?"
"Merlin doesn't like me," Arthur was quick to say. Maybe too quick and Gwaine laughed.
"Then tell me, oh wise one, why is he always all over you?"
"He only does that when he's drunk, he's…affectionate," Arthur said, slowly. Because it felt sort of weird to say these things aloud. "He does that to everyone."
"No, he only does it to you and you know that," Gwaine said. "You don't think we've noticed?"
Arthur went to say something and then paused, gulping, his friends noticing his and Merlin's…whatever it was, freaked him out a little bit. He didn't know what to say to this, so he just looked down at his jeans. And said the first thing that came to his mind. "I'm not gay."
Gwaine laughed, loudly. So much so, that Percy looked up from his game and smiled in their direction.
"Okay, Bi then. There's no shame in that," Gwaine said, calmly. "But if you're Bi you've got to at least be interested in girl bits, and mate, you don't seem interested in girl bits."
"I am," Arthur tried, but then sighed and add. "Not…"
And he wasn't, not really, not at all. He hadn't ever been.
"I know," Gwaine said, in a voice that sounded almost comforting, but then again this was Gwaine. And now he was putting a hand on Arthur's back. "It's hard, I get it. But mate, Merlin's great, and everyone's literally been waiting for you two to bang, so just do it already."
"I can't," Arthur struggled with a reason why not. Maybe because he was scared, or probably because he was scared. Yeah, most definitely scared, a lot. "Merlin, he doesn't…"
"If you don't think Merlin fancies you, you idiot, read his god damn diary!"
And then Gwaine got up, and walked back over to the game. Merlin, whom had just married in the game, looked up at Arthur and grinned. Arthur smiled back, and he decided, alright. Maybe he would read the diary, at least to shut Gwaine up, if nothing else.
XXX
He put his plan into action late in the night. When everyone was fast asleep. Arthur got up, and snuck out of the sitting room. He watched over his shoulder as he crept down the hall, to Merlin's room.
Once inside, Arthur got down on his knees and starting feeling under the bed. He felt a sock, something that felt very much like a banana skin and then, his knuckles hit over something cardboard-y. He pulled it out and looked inside, his eyes straining to see in the dark.
Inside the box was a blue-ish looking hat, that looked like it hadn't fit Merlin in quite a few years, some other things like bits of paper and pencils. And then a book, Arthur picked the book up. Standing up now, he turned on Merlin's little lamp on the end table in the room, and he sat down on the bed, opening the book and leaned closer to the light, to see what the book said. It had better be good, for Gwaine to be bothering him so much.
Arthur could just see Gwaine in here, going through all of Merlin's stuff, (he had to of, if he had known about the diary,) and that made Arthur wonder; had he gone through his stuff too?
Other than Property of Merlin, on the first few pages, there hadn't been anything written in the book at all, and Arthur was starting to feel like a giant idiot for even listening to Gwaine at all, until he finally saw scribbles of writing that weren't Property of Merlin.
"Will got me this book, I don't know what to do with it, but it was nice anyway," it said. And that was it. Arthur frowned and turned the page, to see more scribbles. "There's this bloke Arthur, I called him a prat once and now he wants to punch me in the face."
Arthur laughed and turned the page again. "Arthur punched me in the face! Well…it wasn't the face, but I was being dramatic. I saw him in school today and I was going to say hello, but he didn't seem very respective, and then Will came 'round and…" Arthur turned the page. "Arthur's mum owns the coffee shop across the street, my mum says I'm allowed to go in there if I want, but gave me that sort of look as she said it, the kind that says; 'I will disown you if you even walk on the wrong side of the street,' So I thought better of it. I don't get this feud, or why it happened, or who started it. I wouldn't mind being friends with Arthur, Will says that's stupid though."
"Mum says it started between our great grandmums, (mine and Arthur's,) about who the towns favorites were, mum said they used to be friends and then they both opened similar shops and everything went to hell. I don't see why that should affect us now."
"I was watching Arthur play footie with his friends today, and I don't know why…"
"I got into a fight with Arthur today in the library, I know Arthur isn't doing so great in school right now, I just wanted to help him. I didn't want to fight with him, he just does things to me and he said stuff about my mum. I felt bad, though, after, I think I hurt him…"
Arthur remembered that, the day they had gotten into a fight in the library, Arthur couldn't remember now, what he had said about Hunith, but it hadn't been very nice. Arthur turned the page and the next page had water marks on them, like Merlin had spilled drops of water while writing, or...might have been crying.
"I don't know what's wrong with me, I told Will about it today and he got pissed, and started shouting about sleeping with the enemy or something. I'm tired of being enemies though. Me and Will kept fighting and then I sort of just kissed him, I don't know why I did it, I don't like Will like that. And that made him even more mad at me, he doesn't see how a boy could like another boy. I wish I didn't…"
"I shouldn't like Arthur like this, he hates the sight of me. I should hate him too, I know I should. But I can't help feeling like I'd give up probably anything if he would just be my friend."
Arthur felt very hot all over and he turned the page, quickly, biting his lip to calm himself down. He took a deep breath. There were more tear marks on this page. "My whole life is over, I can't leave my mum like this, who would do this to us?" Arthur had gone from very hot to very pale suddenly, so very suddenly. "Someone burnt down our bakery last night. Now we have nothing."
Arthur had to stop for a second, to take a deeper breath. It had been Arthur, stupidly, so stupidly. And all the while Merlin had liked him, had wanted to be his friend. Arthur had let some stupid feud between their great grandmothers and his stupid pride get in the way of what he could have had with Merlin for years now. At least friendship, anyway.
But it was better now, wasn't it? The bakery was burnt down, yes. But it was better now, they would have never gotten this close if it wasn't for their mothers working together. It was better this way, he told himself, and all thoughts of telling Merlin what he had done vanished quickly, he forced them to. And so, he read on.
"Arthur's letting me come hang out with his friends tomorrow, I don't really care about his friends and that Gwaine guy is a prick, but Arthur's being nice to me all of a sudden and I sort of feel like I'm dreaming."
"It's been a bit since I wrote in here; Arthur and I are getting really close now. We still tease each other a lot, but I sort of like that. Will won't talk to me, but I don't know…I miss him, but I know I'm not as bothered by it as I should be. Arthur's funny and he's cute and I know I can't ever tell him this, but he's got a nice bum."
"I had a dream last night that me and Arthur got married and ran the bakery together, it's stupid because I know he doesn't like me like that. Or even likes boys for all I know, but it was probably the best dream I ever had."
"I'm probably too young to think like this, but I think I'm falling in love with him," Arthur took in a shaky breath, the paleness over taken by the hot again. That was all the page said, except for at the bottom, were the words in a different color ink, this one red while the rest had been written in blue, it said, "I am," and the words were circled in a quickly drawn heart.
And for some reason, that decided all of it. Arthur jumped up, throwing the book back into the box and kicking it back under the bed, before fleeing from the room. Back down the hall, to the living room, where he did not quietly enter, he more like barged into the room with all the sleeping people. He didn't care, he had to talk to Merlin, now. Right now!
Merlin had been feeling all the same things Arthur had been feeling, only longer, and he was in love with him? Love was a strong word, the kind of word you only say to your mum. And if Merlin felt that way, what was the point in denying it anymore?
He went over to Merlin and got down on his knees again, shaking the boy awake.
"No…no," Merlin muttered, turning into Arthur, but not opening his eyes or waking up for that matter, at all. And this was urgent. He had to.
"Merlin!"
"Hmmm…no," Merlin said, reaching up and patting Arthur's face, before letting his hand slip down Arthur's chest and started snoring again. Arthur had suddenly lost his motives anyway. What was he going to do? Snog Merlin's face off in front of all his sleeping friends? That had been his original plan. But something about people knowing still freaked him out, a least a little bit anyway.
He laid down next to Merlin and sighed, he didn't know what to do, or how to tell Merlin how he felt. But it was quite clear, however, that Arthur wasn't the only one. Because Merlin hadn't figured out how to tell him either.
XXX
It had been days since he had read Merlin's diary and still, he didn't know what to do. There had been plenty of times when he could have just grabbed Merlin and kiss him. But that didn't seem like that's what he should do. Merlin deserved better, didn't he? What Arthur needed was advice. He had never dealt with this sort of thing before. But he didn't want to ask Gwaine, because if he kept going to Gwaine he would just start taking the piss, and that, Arthur certainly didn't need.
Merlin was upstairs, doing whatever, whilst Arthur watched the counter, their mothers were at the bank and shouldn't be gone too long. And then, he and Merlin would be leaving for the afternoon and Arthur had planned to tell him then, as he had done yesterday too, but hadn't because he was a damn chicken.
Lance walked in, making the door bells chime and it scared Arthur a little. Lance laughed.
"Didn't mean to scare you, mate," he said, coming over to the counter and smiled at Arthur. "I just came to pick Gwen up a cupcake before our date."
"How did you tell Gwen you liked her?" Arthur asked, so suddenly he didn't realize what he was asking, until it was too late. But Lance did seem like a good candidate to ask. Him and Gwen had been going strong for a long time now.
Lance grinned knowingly, "I just asked her out."
"Like on a date?" Arthur asked, trying to ignore the grin. He went over to the case and picked out a vanilla cupcake that had pink icing on it, Gwen's favorite, and started boxing it.
"Yeah, and she said yes," Lance told him. "And so will Merlin…"
"I didn't…I never said that…" Arthur muttered, nearly dropping the cupcake into the box frosting first. He sighed and turned back to Lance. "How did you know?"
Lance had the gull to start laughing at him again. And Arthur, really had to try hard not to throw the cupcake at the lads face. "We're not stupid like you clearly think we are, Arthur, we can see it in almost everything you do. The way you talk to him, the way you look at him…"
"Okay, shut up, I get it, I'm a hopeless idiot," Arthur complained, shutting the box with a bit of flowery tape, that he thought was rather ugly, but that didn't matter.
"No," Lance shrugged. "You're just in love, me and Gwen think it's sweet."
"You and Gwen are disgusting!"
"Maybe you and Merlin will be too, one day," Lance took the box off the counter and grinned, this time, happily. "I hope so. But first you've gotta ask him out."
"I don't know how…" Arthur admitted, leaning over the counter and put his face in his hands. "That's my problem."
"Say," he heard Lance tell him, pointedly. "Merlin, will you go out with me? It's really not that hard. Gwane's right, you do make everything a struggle."
"Shut up!" Arthur told him, taking his hands away from his face to glare. Lance laughed again, saluted him with the cupcake box and waltz out of the shop like he was some damn Romeo or something. And Arthur thought, that he probably was, at least to Gwen anyway. And he also decided, that he, Arthur, would never be like that.
Merlin came down the stairs just moments after Lance left and Arthur thought, that it was probably now or never. So he stood up straight and turned to see Merlin standing there, smiling.
"Who was that?" he asked.
"Uh…Lance," Arthur muttered, trying to figure out how to do this. Maybe he was an idiot, maybe he did enjoy struggles, for no reason. "Merlin."
"Arthur?" Merlin reroted, smirking. "Can I help you with something?"
"No," Arthur said, but then changed his mind. "Yes, you can actually." Merlin rasied an eyebrow. "Would you like to, um…eat something with me?"
Merlin looked at him for a second. "Nah, I just ate a whole thing of cottage cheese and I swear I'm going to puke," Merlin explained, rubbing his belly. "I'll go sit with you while you eat though."
Arthur didn't think that counted as a date.
"No, forget it," he said, sighing. "Um…you rather see a movie?"
"There's nothing playing I want to see," Merlin said, making a face like Arthur was stupid and should probably know this already. "We can watch a movie here, maybe."
"Yeah, okay," Arthur said, confused, because what the hell was actually happening right now, was this considered a date? "Should I uh…dress up?"
"Why the hell would you dress up to watch a movie?" Merlin asked, giving Arthur a sideways look, before walking back into the kitchen. "Sometimes you're a weirdo, you know."
XXX
So, this wasn't a date, Arthur decided, when Merlin walked in wearing blue, checkered sweat pants and the shirt he spilled spaghetti sauce all over once. Arthur had already guessed it wasn't a date but this, it was just like a slap in the face.
Merlin put on one of the newest Iron Man movies and grinned at Arthur, putting a massive bowl of popcorn next to him. Arthur leaned against the arm rest on the couch, feeling like a jackass for what might be the hundredth time this week. All he wanted to do was tell Merlin he liked him too, even if it was scary and weird and whatever else. Merlin felt the same way, so why the hell was this so hard?
Maybe he shouldn't try to be a Romeo, that has never been Arthur anyway. And Merlin knew this, and still liked him. So why not just say it? Tell him everything he had been feeling lately. Just get it out there, at least then, it would be done with. Even if he did make a fool of himself.
"Merlin," he said, sternly. He was just going to get it out, right now. Merlin only hmm'd him and didn't bother looking over, Arthur sat up straighter now, more serious. "Merlin!"
Merlin looked over, confused. "What?"
"I…" but Arthur stopped then, suddenly everything he had been feeling lately was super scary and confusing and he didn't know what to say. His stomach suddenly hurt and he wanted to throw up. And then he muttered, like a complete idiot, "I think I'm gay…"
That was not what he wanted to say at all. He looked at Merlin, he probably looked terrified and Merlin looked just as scared back, eyes widening.
"Me too," Merlin whispered. And it was then that Arthur remembered Merlin had been dealing with all this too, with all the same things. For even longer and all he really needed to do was quite simple, after all and he had wanted to do this for weeks now, it was what he should have done the whole time." Arthur, I know ho-"
"Kiss me," he said quickly. And Merlin stopped talking, eyes growing wider, if that was even possible, it looked painful at this point. "Kiss me…" he said it again, just so Merlin knew that it was okay. Just so Arthur knew that it was okay, too.
Merlin turned some, in his seat, eyeing Arthur, just like he had done the night in his bed, and then he leaned forward. It was like a shock when their lips touched, and maybe Arthur really didn't know what to do. But then, he felt Merlin smile against him, and he kissed back. Because he could, and Merlin deserved to be happy. He really did, and if Arthur was what made Merlin happy, then that suited Arthur just fine.
This kiss, started off soft and gentle enough, but now it was building into something Arthur really didn't understand quite yet. Merlin titled his head and grabbed onto Arthur's shirt, pulling him closer, and Arthur put his arms around Merlin, pulling him in the rest of the way. And suddenly, Merlin was in his lap, kissing him like mad, and Arthur wondered; why exactly they hadn't been doing this before? It was his fault really, he should have kissed Merlin a long time ago.
The kiss finally broke apart, because both of them needed to breathe something terrible. Arthur's lungs felt like they were on fire, but he kind of liked it at the same time. Merlin rested his head on Arthur's shoulder and now, Arthur really didn't know what to do, or say. So, he went with just being honest. It had worked this far.
"I wanted to ask you out," he said. "I tired but you didn't seem like you wanted to."
Merlin laughed, "Is that what you were doing early?" he pulled back and looked at Arthur, kind of like Arthur was a child or a pretty flower, or something. "And I was being an ass, oh great..."
"That's alright, I liked this better," Arthur admitted, smiling coyly in return and Merlin laughed.
"I liked this better too."
"I still want to take you out, though."
"Then you should ask me."
"Okay," Arthur felt nervous for a second, but when Merlin smirked at him, like he did right before he was about to put cookie in Arthurs hair, and he relaxed and said, "Merlin Cane, will you do me the honor of allowing me to pay for your food and drive you around in the name of what someone might call a date?"
"Hm," Merlin said, smirking now, even bigger. "I suppose…if I have to."
"I am offended," Arthur retorted. "But I'll take that as a yes all the same."
"You better," Merlin said, but then smiled so big it could probably have killed Arthur from shock, if he wasn't doing something very close to the same thing. "So uh," Merlin said then. "Does this mean we have to stop doing the kissing thing until after the date? Because I quite liked the kissing thing…"
"Me too," Arthur agreed, noticing that Merlin was still in his lap. If either of their mothers came in now, it would be kind of hard to explain this. But then, Merlin leaned forward and kissed Arthur again, and Arthur thought that if they came in and saw this, well, then they wouldn't have to explain anything.
XXX
They had dinner at a little café, that wasn't fancy like the ones Arthur's father or Agravaine had dragged them to, and it was much more their style. Afterward, they had drove to the park and parked under those same low hanging trees. Arthur had driven tonight and Merlin had taken it upon himself to push the middle console out of the way and slide closer. Leaning his head on Arthur's shoulder as they looked at the dark sky and the moon reflecting on the water of the lake. It was nice and dare Arthur say, a Lance aka Romeo level date.
Merlin nosed Arthur's neck and he looked down, seeing Merlin smiling at him. The lad hadn't stopped smiling all night and Arthur probably hadn't either. He felt sort of giddy even, and he vowed never to tell Gwaine that. Even though he knew Gwaine was going to be on him tomorrow for details. Arthur hadn't even told Gwaine they were going out, he just sort of knew, but that was Gwaine for you. Nosy as hell.
"I like this," Merlin said, stopping Arthur from thinking too much anymore. He looked down at him again and Merlin was still smiling, and now his fingers were trailing up and down Arthur's other arm. "Us being close like this, do you like it?"
"Yeah," Arthur admitted. He was telling the truth, he had never not liked Merlin being affectionate toward him. And now, he could do it back, if he wanted to. And right now, it really felt like he did. He up an arm around Merlin's shoulder and kissed the top of Merlin's head. Just to see what Merlin would do about it. The bloke looked up and grinned, pushing up until their lips met. So, that's what he would do, Arthur thought, kissing him back.
He quite liked this, indeed.
XXX
"Lads!" Gwaine called them all to attention, standing in front of the less than awesome looking fire he and Leon had built. "And lady," he winked at Gwen. "Tonight we celebrate the end of another great summer, for Monday morning, we return to prison."
"School isn't that bad…" Gwen trailed off, still looking offended over the wink he had given her. "Some of us actually care about going somewhere in life."
"Lance, mate, shut your woman up," Gwaine retorted, lifting up his beer. "To a great summer!" he said, before pouring the contents of the bottle into the fire and it flared to life.
After this, Percy grabbed a big bag of marshmallows and handed one to Arthur on a stick, along with Merlin, who was next to Arthur.
Merlin sat pretty close to him while their marshmallows toasted, Arthur could feel Merlin's thigh resting against his. He looked up and none of their friends were even looking at them, Gwen and Lance were sitting very similarly and Arthur thought that it was rather nice, all of their friends knew about them, and they didn't care. Arthur placed his hand on the small of Merlin's back, just because he could, and Merlin looked up, from the fire and smiled. Arthur smiled back and then they both turned to watch Gwen feed Lance her marshmallow, rather sickeningly, if Arthur did say so himself.
Merlin didn't seem to think so, though. Because all of a sudden, he was lifting his marshmallow out of the flames, blowing off the tip that was on fire, before shoving it toward Arthur's mouth. However, instead of actually putting it in his mouth, he smeared it all over Arthur's face and giggled when he was done.
"You…" Arthur warned, half heartedly, wiping off warm, melted marshmallow and looked to see Gwaine smirking at them.
"You better kiss that shit off your boyfriends face before the bears come for him, Merlin," Gwaine said, before turning and doing the same exact thing to Leon. Whom, didn't take it nearly has well as Arthur had.
The two were having a marshmallow fight now and Arthur watched, amused, still feeling sticky. Merlin had gone quiet now and Arthur found that a bit odd, but didn't want to mention it. He was just happy, he was genuinely really happy, and he hoped Merlin was too, but he didn't ask. Merlin didn't speak either, not for the rest of the evening, not until it was pitch black outside and they were on their way home.
They had just dropped of Leon, Gwaine and Percy, who were all covered in marshmallow goo, drunk off their asses and singing Pirates Life For Me, as they waddled up Gwaine's driveway. Arthur could still hear them, even after the door of the car was shut. He laughed and drove way.
"Is that what you are?" Merlin asked, suddenly, he was a bit drunk too, but not nearly as much as everyone else had gotten. Other than Arthur, of course. Arthur wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about, so he quickly glanced over and raised an eyebrow, before looking back at the road. "Are you my boyfriend?"
Oh, Arthur understood now. They hadn't been quite clear on that, they sort of just made out a lot. They had only been on one date so far, and Arthur could see why Merlin might be confused. Come to think about it, so was he, on this certain subject.
"Do you want me to be?" he asked, not turning to look again, because he was a bit nervous of what Merlin might say. He didn't know why, but he was. He quite liked what they had been doing lately, even the chapped lips were worth it. He didn't want to stop now.
"I want you to be," Merlin said, finally, after a long moment. And Arthur let out a breath he didn't remember holding. "I'd like that a lot, actually."
"Good," Arthur said, just as they stopped in front of the shop. All the lights were off, so that must've meant Hunith was either out or asleep. "I suppose that makes me your boyfriend then."
Merlin grinned and slid closer to Arthur, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Come upstairs with me?"
"I can't," Arthur shrugged, Merlin pulled back and stared at him, maybe a bit hurt, but definitely confused. "I've spent nearly all summer here, I gotta go home at least one night."
"You always stay when I ask you to though."
"I know," Arthur said, frowning a bit at Merlin's sad puppy face. "But if I don't go home tonight my mum will probably kick my ass. I can't remember the last time I even slept in my bed."
"Okay," Merlin said, and then leaned forward and started kissing Arthur. Which was quite nice, honestly, but Arthur really did have to leave. His mother had a talk with him just that afternoon, something about being reasonable, or something. He really couldn't remember right now with Merlin doing that tongue thing. He pulled back.
"You are not going to trick me into staying by kissing me, you know," Arthur told him. Merlin grinned, like his plans had just been discovered, and he was an evil genius after all.
"I wasn't," he said, leaning in, to quickly kiss Arthur again. "I was just giving you all the kisses I was going to give you upstairs now."
Arthur laughed and pushed Merlin away, to get some distance between them, because this kissing thing sounded like a wonderful idea. Merlin still tasted a bit like chocolate, mixed with alcohol, of course, but still nice all the same. And getting yelled at by his mum sounded a lot more fun after a night of kissing Merlin. So, this distance thing was very much needed, indeed.
"Goodnight, Merlin," he said, pointedly. And Merlin frowned.
"Goodnight."
XXX
On Monday morning, walking into school felt strange, it felt like a lifetime since the last time he had walked through these halls. He had a locker change this year and requested the one next to Merlin's, because he was just that love sick, he supposed and Merlin had made fun of him a bit, but at lunch, Merlin had made quite a show of sneakily putting his hand on Arthur's thigh.
"Hey," he whispered, in Arthur's direction. "I've got a boyfriend, but you know, you're kind of cute, wanna go make out in the men's loo?"
Arthur nearly choked on his pea soup, Merlin started laughing and moved away from him, going to talk to Gwen about something. He had a feeling that one of these days the two would really probably end up in the men's loo, and he grinned to himself just thinking about it, before he continued to eat his pea soup.
"You've turned into a complete girl, mate," Gwaine muttered, from across the table. Arthur just shrugged. Yeah, maybe he had, he wasn't really sure he cared. And when Merlin turned back, smiling at Arthur like that, he decided; no, he really didn't care at all.
XXX
The first week of school was over and to Gwaine, that meant gathering up all the pot he had collected over the summer and smoke it all in one night. They all sat around in Merlin's living room, as always, and took hit after hit. Well, Arthur didn't, and neither did Merlin, he only took a few hits. Which, confused Arthur a bit, but he didn't bother asking.
Gwen and Lance weren't here tonight, either. They had stayed at Gwen's house to 'study,' and Arthur understood, he would much rather be 'studying' with Merlin, rather than listening to Gwaine go on about whatever he was going on about.
"I saw that rat, Will, today," Gwaine said, finally, and Merlin sat up a bit more. Looking more alert than he had before. "He was giving me shit, but I put him in his place."
"What did you do?" Merlin asked. They hadn't seen Will all summer. At the beginning of the break, Merlin had said he probably went to visit his grandparents, but he couldn't be sure. Either way, he was back now.
"Threatened him within an inch of his life is all," Gwaine shrugged, looking proud about it. "Told him that if he came around any of my mates, I'd squeeze his head like a lemon."
Merlin didn't say anything, and didn't ask anymore questions either, but Arthur could tell he was bothered by it. Luckily, Leon changed the subject.
"They're having footie try outs soon, you gonna try out, Arthur?"
He shrugged, because he really hadn't planned on it. They hadn't played footie all summer and he was probably rusty now. Besides, this year he really needed to focus on studying, and Merlin, mostly Merlin, though. Merlin was his first big romance, and he wasn't going to mess it up because he had to go to practice and whatnot.
"You should," Merlin told him, suddenly looking a lot more excited, thoughts of Will seemingly gone. Leon agreed with Merlin.
"He just wants to see you in that ridiculous uniform, don't you, Merls?" Gwaine laughed. Merlin flushed for a second, and shrugged.
"No, not really," he said, and then leaned into Arthur and whispered in his ear. "Well, maybe a little bit…"
Arthur went red, eyes looking around and the boys, they were all giving him knowing looks, he glared at them. "That doesn't mean I'm going to!"
"Mhm," Gwaine smirked.
Baked like a cake, that was Gwaine, Leon and Percy for you. They were all lying around in the sitting room, making stupid noises at each other and laughing for no reason. Arthur sat there bored, until Merlin nudged him in the shoulder. He looked over and Merlin jerked his head toward the door. Merlin, who normally joined in with the lads, wasn't nearly as high as he usually was. So Arthur got up and followed him out of the room, and into his bedroom.
"What?" he asked, whilst Merlin pulled him closer. "Why aren't you high?" he asked, simply, because it was so odd. Merlin was playing with the hem of his shirt, and laughed when he asked. "I'm serious, though…"
"I like being sober when I kiss you," he said, and then leaned in for a kiss. Arthur started kissing him back, but then, Merlin pulled away and dragged him over to the bed. "And," Merlin continued, once they were both lying on the bed. "Kissing you is better than pot."
"Hm," Arthur hummed, grinning. "Maybe I should start working for a clinic then, my kisses are clearly life-saving."
"Prat," Merlin said, turning and leaning over Arthur, kissing him again. This kiss was a bit different than the first one had been. This one; more hungry and leading. Leading Merlin to plant himself right on top of Arthur, licking into his mouth, and yes, he was doing that tongue thing again, making Arthur moan and open his mouth even more. Arthur latched on to Merlin, pulling him down, wanting to be as close as possible, and it was quite impossible to get him just as close as Arthur really wanted.
Merlin pulled away, huffing, and leaned down, kissing Arthur's neck. It startled Arthur a little, they hadn't done much more than just kiss each other's mouths. Merlin sat up, straddling his waist and looked at Arthur, kind of like he would a brownie, whilst plagued with the munchies. He licked his lips, and that was really hot, Arthur couldn't deny that. He wasn't really scared anymore, not that he would ever admit that he was scared.
"Do it again," he told him, just so he knew it was okay. Merlin didn't say anything and leaned back down, kissing Arthur's neck slowly. First, just a few pecks and then with his whole mouth, sucking on the skin there. "God…" Arthur breathed out, and Merlin looked up again, this time smirking, before changing sides and doing the exact same thing on the other side of Arthur's throat. And Arthur wondered; where the hell he learned all this.
He didn't really have time to ask, because now Merlin was trailing the kisses, up his throat and then back down, down his chest and then there were his hands, yanking at Arthur's shirt. He let Merlin take it off him, throwing it wherever, and then with another startle, that Merlin didn't stop for this time, he started kissing Arthur's chest. Trailing kisses down his stomach, and Arthur watched him, biting his lip and maybe freaking out a little bit. But not enough to stop him. He liked it, he liked Merlin's mouth on him, and he wasn't going to stop it now.
Merlin seemed to be paying extra attention to Arthur's collarbone and Arthur didn't mind one bit. Merlin was shifting his body around a little bit, but Arthur ignored it, focusing on the way Merlin kissed and licked him and he knew for damn sure, that there was going to be a mark there, and he kind of liked that idea, too. But, it was only when Merlin shifted himself and fell between Arthur's legs, that Arthur really started to pay attention again, eyes widening. Merlin shifted his hips forward, and Arthur let out something that might have been close to, "Oh, you son of a bitch," and he would deny that later.
But right then, it made Merlin stop, and pull back, like he had just gotten in trouble. And he probably should have gotten in trouble, probably, with the way he looked. Hair stuck up in strange ways, lips red and swollen, breathe coming out in puffs, and Arthur swears he had never seen anything hotter than that; it made his stomach explode, or at least it felt that way. It made things go south, and something else entirely took over him.
Because now, he was pushing Merlin back, and Merlin had the gull to look upset about it, but he didn't care. Arthur sat up and Merlin was in his lap again, he yanked at Merlin's shirt until it came off and this time, Merlin just stared at him, watching him, as Arthur did all the same things Merlin had done to him. Kissed his neck, and his chest, leaning down as far as he could go, just to kiss any bit of Merlin he could reach.
He left a red mark on Merlin's throat, and then another on his chest, and Merlin moaned, shifting in Arthur's lap. And Arthur remembered now, why he was so turned on, the likes of which, he had never, ever been before. He leaned back and Merlin went with him, moving until he was in between Arthur's legs again, and then, and then were was a nasty crack. Sort of like something had hit Merlin's wooden headboard. Arthur froze there.
Merlin started laughing, quite loudly and a bit hysterically, and then fell onto Arthur. "Ow," he said, still laughing a little, nuzzling his nose into Arthur's neck. "That hurt."
Arthur didn't know whether to laugh or cry, because the mood they were in was suddenly gone, but it was also kind of ridiculous. And just proved it; they had no bloody idea, what the hell they were doing yet.
XXX
Arthur signed up for Footie tryouts the next school day. And no matter what Gwaine said, it was not because Merlin wanted to see him in the uniform. It might be a little, but he also quite enjoyed footie. And when he was picked to play on the team, he also quite liked how Merlin would show up at the practices. He and Gwen would sit in the stands, because Lance was on the team too, this year, and they 'wanted to see their men play.' Arthur wouldn't tell anyone this, only Merlin, when they would make out, alone in Merlin's bedroom, but he played better when Merlin was around. Or, maybe that was just his love sickness talking again.
"Hey, you," Merlin called, whilst Arthur was stretching, before a practice game. Arthur couldn't deny the giant, and foolish looking smile that plastered his face when he heard Merlin, but even if he could deny it, or hide it, he didn't want to. He turned around and grinned, at Merlin walking closer to him. "Hey, Captain."
"I'm not captain," Arthur corrected him.
"You are to me," Merlin fluttered his eyelashes, like he always did when he was play-flirting with Arthur. "You know, I don't think I've ever told you this, but you've got a really nice bum…"
"No, you haven't told me that," Arthur said, grinning like an idiot, he was sure. Merlin laughed and went to lean closer, but stopped. Arthur had almost forgotten they were in public, and not doing the whole out-as-a-couple thing. He had completely forgotten about it, in fact, because all these things just seem too natural with Merlin, like he should always do them. Being with Merlin just made him ignorantly and blissfully happy, and nothing else seemed to matter anymore.
"We'll talk about this later," Merlin said, the playfulness gone. And Arthur didn't like that, but he nodded anyway, and Merlin went to walk away. Arthur didn't want him to leave like that though, like Arthur was ashamed of him, or something. So, without thinking much about it, Arthur stopped him. Grabbing his arm and yanking him back. Merlin wound up flushed against him, looking at him confused. Arthur planted a quick kiss to Merlin's mouth and released him. He was sure a few of his team mates had seen, but he didn't care. Why should he care?
He was happy, and if they had a problem with it, well...too bad.
"You can't walk away from me without a kiss," he told Merlin, smirking. "That's against The Lance and Gwen Rule Book Of Dating."
"I thought you thought they were disgusting?" Merlin smiled, petting Arthur's chest and not bothering to pull himself away too much.
"I did, but maybe I want to be disgusting with you now," Arthur told him. "Lance said that might happen."
"I want to be disgusting with you," Merlin retorted, smiling so big, that it made Arthur feel all warm inside and definitely, like he had done the right thing.
"And I think you're both disgusting," Gwaine's voice came from somewhere. "Now, can you fucking play footie, please!" They tore away from each other and saw their friends in the stands, Leon, Percy and Gwen were grinning, However, Gwaine looked appalled, but also sort of happy, which was just Gwaine for you. "You lot are a bunch of posies!"
XXX
"Gwaine says he wants to go to Amsterdam at the end of the school year," Merlin said, casually, one afternoon, whilst Arthur was going through his locker, looking for a book report he lost. He had no idea how he lost it, he blamed Merlin and his stupid lips.
"Why does he want to do that?" Arthur asked, half listening, looking under his three week old packed lunch, his mum made him take to school one morning. Because sometimes she turns into Martha Stewart, he didn't like her those days.
"He's Gwaine…why do you think he wants to?" Merlin retorted. He must have figured out that Arthur wasn't really listening to him, and was offended now. But Arthur had to find that book report.
"The woman?"
"Probably…" Merlin said, sighing. Arthur must have left the book report at home, because it wasn't here, that meant he was going to get bad marks and how was he supposed to get into Uni with bad marks?!
"Oh, look who it is!" A voice said in a sneer, a sneer Arthur would be able to detect just about anywhere. "It's Princess Merlin and her love!"
Arthur turned around and first, looked at Merlin, whom had something mixed of shock and sadness on his face. And then, Arthur looked over to see Will.
"Go away," Arthur said, simply. They hadn't had a run in with Will in a long time, and Arthur, quite frankly, wanted to keep it that way. Merlin never did well whenever they did. He always looked like a kicked puppy afterward and Arthur hated that. "We're not bothering you, so just go."
"Aw," Will said, smirking dirtily. "Look at you being so venerable now." He looked at Merlin for a second, and then back to Arthur. "We didn't do anything when you used to come fuck with us."
"I don't do that anymore," Arthur argued. Will rolled his eyes and shrugged.
"Nah, you just fuck him in other ways now, I guess."
"Shut up, Will!" Merlin started now. Arthur sighed, because this was what he wanted to avoid. "This is stupid, Arthur hasn't done anything wrong."
"Course you would think that," Will said, glaring at Merlin. "You've always defended him, even when he used to beat the shit out of you."
Arthur was really tired of this already, he looked around, looking for a teacher. Yes, he was going to be that guy. But he didn't care, he wanted Will away from Merlin, preferably suspended from school, permanently. But Arthur probably wouldn't be so lucky.
It was at that moment though, that Gwaine came around the corner and saw them. And Arthur couldn't normally say he was happy to see Gwaine, or when Gwaine looked like that, but today he was. Gwaine's brown eyes narrowed and he looked like a bull charging toward them.
"Get the fuck out of here!" he said, probably too loudly in a school. Will had the graciousness to look scared for half a second, before his face turned back into its normal, ugly duck like form.
"Mind your own fucking business!" Will retorted, looking back at Merlin like he might hurt him. And if he did, which he had never before, not physically anyway. If he did, though, then Arthur would gladly find some bit of his old self left over and kill Will, probably right here in the hallway.
"Just go," Merlin told him. "There isn't a point of doing this anymore, alright? Why can't we all just be friends?"
Will looked appalled for a matter of seconds, before he shoved Merlin against the lockers and yelled, "I would never be friends with you, you faggot!"
And that was it, Arthur was going to kill him, he had put his hands on Merlin. And said something that…even Arthur couldn't believe came from his mouth. But Arthur didn't have time to get fully pissed off, or even raise a fist, because the next second, Gwaine screamed something like, "You fucking dick!" and sent a left hook right into Will's face.
Will fell, right in front of them, like he was a washcloth or something, that Gwaine had just casually dropped there. Arthur didn't care about him though. He turned to Merlin, who was still leaning against the lockers, mouth hanging out.
People had already been watching this fight for a bit now, and now, Arthur sort of felt like he was in a movie, as he gripped on to Merlin's shirt and yelled in his face. "Are you alright?"
Merlin didn't answer, and Arthur could see the tears welling in his blue eyes. He just wanted to get him the hell out of here, now. Gwaine looked at them, finally, he had been staring down at Will, proudly, but now he looked worried too, when looking at Merlin. He nodded his head. "Let's get out of here."
XXX
On the way to the shop, Gwaine offered Merlin several different kinds of pot, pills and something that looked like Beef, Merlin only accepted the joint and smoked it quicker than Arthur had ever seen anyone smoke anything, ever. Once they got to the shop, everyone else was already there. They were waiting in the sitting room for them. Arthur was just happy neither his mother or Hunith asked what was wrong.
"Don't listen to him, Merlin," Gwen said, sitting on the sofa, cuddling Merlin as though he were her baby. "He's just a mean boy."
Arthur didn't have to wonder how they knew, it was probably the talk of the whole school, and it only had happened an hour ago. But he did appreciate how the rest of them had blown off school just to be with Merlin.
Percy came into the room a second later, a cupcake in hand, he looked at Arthur. "I told Merlin's mum he had a bad day at school and she gave me this to give to him," he explained, and then walked over to Merlin.
"I say we kill him," Lance was saying now. And to be honest, it kind of shocked Arthur a bit. This was Lance, after all, kind and thoughtful Lance. "My dad would kill me if he ever heard me any anything like that."
Arthur remembered now, Lance's father was all about respect and honor, and Lance believed those same things. And when a man's honor, or anyone's honor for that matter, is at stake, Lance is the first to talk about it.
"I hit him so hard he won't soon forget it, trust me," Gwaine told him. They both looked down at Gwaine's bruising hand. Arthur left them then, to go over to check on Merlin. He was still sitting there, nearly in Gwen's lap as she petted his hair. He looked up from his cupcake and gave Arthur a sad smile.
They stayed there with him all day, into the night even, Hunith served them dinner in the living room before she went to bed and they watched so many movies Arthur's eyes hurt.
"I'm alright, guys..." Merlin said, after the fourth of fifth movie, Arthur couldn't be sure. "You all don't have to stay, I'm just sad is all."
And that prompted Gwaine to sneak out for a bit, and come back with a case of beers. One day, Arthur knew he was going to have to tell Gwaine that stealing stuff wasn't okay, because Arthur knew he was stealing it, but tonight was not that day. Merlin was completely drunk, whilst everyone, (but Arthur,) were only slightly buzzed by the time Lance decided he needed to get everyone home, because it was school night after all.
They all gave long goodbyes to Merlin, the likes of which, he probably wouldn't even remember in the morning, and then all warned Arthur to keep his eye on Merlin before they left. Because he was going to look anywhere else? He wouldn't dare.
"Watch over him," Gwen said, she was the last one to go. She always turned into the mother-hen whenever something happened. She would be a wonderful mother one day, Arthur was sure of it.
"I will," he told her, and she smiled at him like she was proud, and touched his face like he was special or something, before taking Lance's hand and leaving.
When Arthur turned back to Merlin, he had his arms reached out like he was toddler and Arthur smiled, walking over and falling into the couch, being wrapped up in Merlin's arms, meanwhile, wrapping his around Merlin. Arthur thought then, as they struggled to find a good position to lay in on the couch, that this was probably what Merlin had wanted all along.
Finally, Arthur was on his back, how he got there, he'll never know. And Merlin laid on top of him, cuddling him and shoving his cold nose into the bit of skin between Arthur's neck and shoulder.
Arthur rubbed his hands up and down Merlin's arms now, because he was cold and there was no way in hell Arthur was getting up after all that, just to get a blanket. Merlin turned more and pretty much used Arthur as a blanket, kissing his neck a little.
"You're so warm," he said, dreamily. Arthur just laid there for a few minutes, annoyed that there was still a lamp on in the room, he forgot to turn it out. And, he had thought Merlin was falling asleep, but then he started talking again. "Arthur," Arthur hummed in return and Merlin continued. "Why don't you ever smoke or drink with us?"
Arthur froze there, not even breathing for a whole minute. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to lie to Merlin, but he also didn't want to tell him why he didn't, not exactly. He couldn't.
"I um," he said, taking in a breath. "I just decided it wasn't for me."
"Gwaine said you used to do all that stuff all the time with them."
"I know, I guess I just…wanted to be different."
"I like you just the way you are, Arthur," Merlin told him then, sounding more sober than he had in probably an hour or so. "Pratness and all. And I don't care what anyone else says."
And Arthur knew Merlin meant it.
(A/N: So this was part five, and clearly there is now going to be a part six, because I obviously can't control myself with this story. I just have so many ideas for it. But six SHOULD be the last chapter. It was supposed to be a three part story and NOW look at it! omg. Also, I don't condone using the F word, and I don't mean the F U la la la word either, I mean the one Will used. I really don't like it when ppl say that at all. And excuse any breath breath mess ups I might have in this chapter, (if I didn't fix them all,) my brain is not working today and I swear no one should allow me to write stories for ppl...)