Chapter 5: The road to Kursk

2nd July, 1943. 1920 hours.

"So, Leutnant, what do you plan to do when this war is finished?" Felix's voice cut across Maho's concentration like a sudden lash of the whip.

Maho, who was sitting down on her commander's chair, was just playing with the lighter in her hand; clicking it and watching the yellow glow appear and dance in her sight. She was inside her mind again, delving into the vast depths of memories it had accumulated over the years. "Depends if I ever come back from this hellhole of a war." She muttered bluntly, not totally focusing on the question.

"Aw, come on Leutnant! Don't be so pessimistic!" Christian chirped in, but Maho wasn't listening. In fact, she wasn't even focusing on their conversation anymore. She was fiddling with her lighter again; staring into the depths of the yellow light which erupted from it. All noise from the tank ceased to sound in her ear. The voices stopped. The rumbling of the engine stopped. Then the small flame from the lighter erupted into a massive fireball. Her nostrils smelt the smell of burning metal and fuel. The all too familiar stench of burning human flesh. She blinked, and she was standing next to a burning tank. A smoking hole burned through the side of the tank. The engine sputtered with flames and smoke. She then heard a short scream emanate from within. Then cries and yells of absolute agony.

'That scream…' She thought to herself. Her eye suddenly widened in absolute horror. 'Erwin!'

She instantly jumped onto the burning tank and opened the commander's hatch. "Erwin!" She screamed, hoping for a response from her friend. Two hands shakily reached out to hers, in which Maho instantly grabbed. Who she pulled out was as if something from a nightmare; it was Erwin. Or. What was left of her. She was missing her left foot, blood pouring from the jagged stump that was left. Her uniform was torn open, multiple serrated bits of shrapnel embedded inside of her. Half of her face and both of her arms burnt almost down to the bone; her muscle tissue burnt to almost cinders. Maho pulled her out of the tank and both fell onto the grassy floor below them, just as the ammunition exploded, the entire tank being engulfed in a fireball.

"G-Go… Maho…" Erwin choked, blood spitting out of her mouth with every word she spoke. "Leave… m-me-e…"

"No Erwin!" Maho shouted, tears falling down her cheeks freely. "I'll never leave you! Never!" She held Erwin's hand tightly. "I'll get help! I promise!" She started to break down. "I-I p-promis-se-e… I won't… lea-"

"Leutnant?"

Erika was looking at Maho, her hand clasped round Maho's gently. "It's okay…" She whispered.

Maho whirled round to face her. All the sights, the blood instantly disappeared. She was sitting in her commander's chair. The lighter was still held in her hand.

'It's happened again… It never was Erwin…Those thoughts, they mix everything up… they're coming ba-'

"That's an interesting question, Ernst. I think we should ask Maho about this." Christian responded suddenly, cutting Maho's trail of thought. She slowly looked down to her hands; they were shaking, but not too badly.

"Leutnant, what's your view on this war?" Christian asked, and everyone fell silent to hear her response.

Maho blinked, and looked down. "It was a mistake." She said simply. "Why are we to wage a war that we're never going to win?"

The tank was silent for a while. Then Erika spoke up. "I agree."

Felix smirked. "Really? We're here to fight. And to win. Because we have the Führer. If we have him on our side, we'll win."

Maho and Erika sighed. Again, there was silence in the tank for a little while until Maho suddenly sat up. "You haven't seen many battles have you, Felix?" She asked quietly. But her tone of voice was cold, and harsh. "You don' t know the harsh reality of war, do you?"

"N-No Leutnant. I was just saying what the newsreels say back home." Felix replied quickly, backing up.

"The newsreels are utter rubbish. It's just propaganda to motivate them back home to make them think we're winning. It's the opposite." Erika muttered.

Felix shivered, knowing that he'd somehow struck a nerve. "All I wanted was to raise our moral…" He whispered sheepishly.

Maho sighed. She felt bad for snapping out at Felix again. "I know Felix… But sometimes those things aren't propaganda if you've experienced it multiple times on the battlefield." She reached down to the ammo rack which housed their rations, and took out her water canteen; sipping the water several times. "How long have you spent at the front, Felix?" She asked.

"Errm… Just over 6 months, Leutnant." He replied quietly.

"What about you, Christian?" Maho now turned his attention to him.

"Just over 9 months, Leutnant."

Maho nodded slowly. "I was here ever since we invaded the Soviet Union. Make that just over two years." She sighed. "Same with Erika."

Erika forced a small smile. "So, what we're trying to say is that we've seen things you haven't seen. By now, we both know that we're just like pigs for slaughter… For us," She looked round at the entire crew. "It isn't about winning the war anymore." She whispered.

"It's about surviving." Maho finished off Erika's sentence. "And we have to achieve that by whatever means possible." She looked at Felix. "You don't want to die, do you?" Seeing Felix's nod, she smiled faintly. "Don't worry. I'll protect you. I'm your commander. I have my responsibility to keep my crew alive to fight. And to return home."

"Thank you… Leutnant." Her crew answered, and the uneasy silence slowly crept back into the tank.

Maho gave Erika a quick nod and smile, before looking around the tank. "Anyone need some fresh air? I can open the commander's hatch for a bit." She asked, wanting to rid the silence for a little longer.

"Aye, Leutnant. That'll be nice." Ernst spoke quietly, and Maho nodded, before opening the hatch. The cool evening air was soon rushing into the tank.

"Ah.. Much better… Thanks Leutnant." Ernst replied, rolling his shoulders a bit.

Suddenly, Erwin's voice crackled through the radio and through Maho's headphones again. "All commanders. This is Hauptmann Brandt. Status check on your tanks. Just be aware about engine oil pressure and fuel capacity. Radio silence will begin at 2100 hours. Have a nice journey. That's if travelling in a tank ever is nice…"

"Ernst. How much fuel do we have left?" Maho quickly asked.

"Fuel is at… 347 litres. We started off with full tanks at 540 litres. So we're doing well." He quickly responded. "Oil pressure is normal."

Maho nodded. "Thanks." She then adjusted her headphone. "Erwin. Do you copy?" She spoke into her throat mic.

"Aye, Leutnant. Reading you loud and clear." Erwin responded quickly. "Is there a problem?"

"No, none of that sort." Maho spoke. "What distance do we have to travel? Because I think that we may not have enough fuel for the journey."

"Give me a minute Leutnant." Erwin spoke, as she fumbled around with her map. "Judging from the map, from where we are now, to our rendezvous, which is around 500m from the front line trenches, we'll be travelling around 184km. On full fuel, our Tigers can travel 190km. So we will just about make it, although we have to refuel before the offensive starts. Does that satisfy you?"

Maho nodded. "Aye, Hauptmann. Thanks."

Erwin smiled from her position in her commander's chair. "Glad to be of help Leutnant."

2nd July, 1943. 2300 hours.

Maho's eyes snapped open as they went over a bump in the road. "Ugh.. What time is it, anyone?" She mumbled sleepily.

Erika checked her watch. "Just gone past… 2300 hours Leutnant." She replied.

Maho groaned, and rested her neck on the back of her chair. "Ernst, what speed are we driving at?"

"We're averaging 20km/h Leutnant. Since that's how fast our convoy is going."

Maho nodded in thanks, then paused. "So… if we're traveling at 20km/h, and we have 184km to cover… that means we have to travel for at least 9 hours…" She groaned then settled back down into her chair, tilting her head back so she was staring at the turret ceiling. "Ugh. Still got 3 hours to go…"

Erika smiled and looked at Maho. "Don't worry… we're all as tired as you are. We've hardly gotten any sleep for the last few days."

Maho nodded, but wasn't really paying attention; as she had taken out a small notebook from her pocket and a pencil, and was writing down something. She then stopped, and looked at Erika. "Have you not?"

"Yeah…" Erika nodded. "We've been up the last few nights doing maintenance. We had to fix up that engine, and other problems with our Tiger. First, one of the fuel tanks was leaking, so we had to fix that, and some maintenance on the main gun barrel. It was a little worn down."

"I see." Maho replied quietly, scribbling into her diary again. She then stopped, and tore the page out of the book, before folding it into quarters. "That'll do." She whispered to herself. "Erika, see if this is good enough for Miho."

Erika smiled faintly. "Writing a letter to her, Leutnant?" Seeing Maho nod, she looked down. "I'm glad you have a sister to look after… when you go back."

Maho nodded again. "Yeah…" She passed the folded piece of paper to Erika, who took it and unfolded it and began reading it.

Miho,

When this letter arrives to you, I hope it finds you in good health.

I will be in battle by the time you get this letter, but I am heading towards a major offensive against the Soviet Union as I write this. I can't specifically tell you where and when, but I just wanted to let you know.

I'm okay right now. My crew is also in good spirit, although they are rather tired and not had any sleep for the last few days. We've restocked our equipment and our now heading towards our rendezvous point.

Again, I'm sorry for leaving you alone with mother, but I'm only doing my duty to protect our homeland. It is only a matter of time, as I have told you countless times, that we shall lose this war. Don't believe the propaganda they show at home, because it is not true. At all. It is all lies. It is only a matter of time our armies will be utterly defeated.

But, please do not tell mother this. She worries about me enough, and I do not want her to worry even more after reading this letter.

I don't want to worry you, but I have a feeling that this offensive isn't going to work. It will fail, and it will seal our fate on this front. But don't worry about me, Miho. I need you to take care of mother for me whilst I'm gone.

And, if I do not come back, I want you to remember this. I have loved you, and always will love you more than you will ever know in my heart. But I promise, I will try my utter best to come back to you after the offensive is finished.

Also, Hauptmann Brandt told me that she sends her kindest regards to you, and that we will take care of you as much as she can if you decide to enlist in the Panzerwaffe.

Tell mother that I pass my best regards to her, and not to worry about me so much.

From,

Your dearest sister, Leutnant Maho Ketler.

"Seems to be good enough, Leutnant. But one thing…" Erika muttered, folding up and passing the letter back to Maho. "Do you really believe the war is lost…?" She whispered, dropping her voice right down so none of the other crew members could hear.

Maho sighed. "Erika… we both know it is. We don't want to accept it, but you've seen it for yourself." She whispered. "After the defeat at Stalingrad, all we've done is retreat westwards." She looked at Erika, and her brown eyes met Erika's light blue eyes. "You were there, weren't you?" She asked. "You fought at Stalingrad… and saw the carnage there."

Erika nodded, her eyes tearing up slightly. "Yes… I was Leutnant. I lost so many friends I knew there. Including my sister, as I've told you before." She whispered. "I thought I was lost in an endless hell. I lost everything and everyone I cared for there. I was lost like that until I transferred here and met you, Leutnant. And Hauptmann Brandt as well." She forced a smile. "Both of you understood. You especially. You knew how it felt to lose friends in war, and how to deal with it." She paused for a moment, brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face. "You told me that, yes, the war is lost, but. We still have a hope. A hope that we could return to our families after this war. And Hauptmann Brandt taught me this lesson: We're not here to fight for the Nazi regime. We're here to fight for our families. We're protecting them."

Maho smiled slightly, and her hand gently clasped around Erika's. "Yes, Erika. We're fighting for our families back home. But I still need your sharp eyes to destroy those soviet tanks. I need your skill as a gunner to help us achieve whatever victory we can have."

"You've got my word, Leutnant." She replied, nodding and settled back into her chair again. But she quickly sat up and turned right round to face Maho again. "Can I ask you a question?" She spoke.

"Go ahead."

"Why did you join the panzerwaffe, Leutnant?" Erika stated, attempting to lighten the mood again. "In fact, just to pass the time, I'll ask this question to everyone. Why did each of you enlist into the panzerwaffe?"

Felix was the first to respond. "I actually wanted to join the Heer, but I thought it would be more fun to join the panzerwaffe. So, I enlisted just about 2 years ago. After training as a loader, I was recommended for officer training, and after I'd finished that, here I am." He smiled. "Went into action only once." He then looked at Maho. "This is my first time at the front. I've spent half a year here. So I am new to the front, even though I've known you for some time."

Erika nodded. "Okay. Ernst next."

"Me? Oh… I…" Ernst stuttered slightly, not particularly liking to be put under the spotlight. "I joined in January 1941… I thought I would do my bit for my country." He spoke quietly. "I was part of the panzer divisions that attacked Moscow in 1941. I'd just finished my training when Operation Barbarossa began. "I've hadn't returned to Germany ever since. I've never been injured…" He smiled. "Either I'm really lucky or I'm always just at the right time and right place not to get hit."

"Well… Aren't you lucky." Maho joked sarcastically. "Just wait till you have shrapnel embedded up your backside…" Everyone in the tank then started laughing. Even Maho smiled slightly at her joke. "Anyways. Who's next?"

"I'll go Erika." Christian quickly responded. Looking around first to make sure everyone was concentrating, he then began. "I was conscripted in June 1942, first to the Heer, but then they thought I would be better off in the panzerwaffe, so partway through my training, I was transferred to the panzer training schools. I trained as a radio operator. Obviously." He added, seeing Erika shake her head in an "I-couldn't-have-guessed-that-in-my-wildest-dreams" look. "Then after I finished retraining in November '42, I was quickly deployed to the Eastern Front, and to serve in the 505th Heavy Tank Battalion, B Company. I've also been on this front ever since."

"Hm. Just wait till you get sent to the Western Front. I've heard it's almost heavenly for the troops there." Erika muttered, smirking. "Good food 3 times a day, little or no action. What more could you want?" She grinned at Christian. "I guess I'll go next then." She took a deep breath. "So, when the war broke out in 1939, I enlisted in the Panzerwaffe. After I finished my gunnery training , I was put in the reserve for the time being, until 1941. That was when I was assigned to the 20th Panzer Division, 3rd Panzer regiment. I've forgotten which platoon and which company, but that doesn't matter." She paused to take a breath. "So, when Operation Barbarossa began, the 20th Panzers were spearheading the advance. I took part in the Battle for Moscow and Stalingrad. During those times, I was always being transferred to other divisions. But when Battle of Stalingrad was drawing to a close, I was sent back to Germany for retraining as a gunner for the new Tiger tanks. I finished my training in December '42 and was retransferred to the 505th, where we were retreating from Stalingrad back to our reserve front lines to resupply, repair and rest. There, I met Leutnant Ketler," She turned round and smiled at Maho." And that brings me to where we are now." She smiled faintly, and looked at Maho. "You're next Leutnant." Everyone turned round to look at her, apart from Ernst, who was focusing on driving the tank.

Maho sighed, and clicked her neck once. "If you really want to know my life story, then here we go." She looked down at her hands as she began to speak. "So, I was studying in Frankfurt when the news that war broke out. Hauptmann Brandt and I enlisted in the Panzerwaffe together. We've known each other for a long time. We studied in the same schools, until she went to study in Dresden. We both enlisted to do our part for the country. So, when we finished our training in mid-1940, we both ended up in the 1st Panzer Division. I took part in the invasion of France. Afterwards, both of us were transferred to 16th Panzer Division, and took part in the battle of Stalingrad. We got encircled, but a few survivors, including Erwin and I escaped. Afterwards, we got recognised for our leadership, and were sent back to Germany for retraining on Tigers. We finished retraining, and were sent back to the front with the newly formed 505th. We fought a defensive retreat until I was injured about a month ago." Maho forced a smile. "And now I've come back, everything's changed and we're now heading into an offensive."

"Don't worry Leutnant. Situations in war always change without little or no notice." Ernst added.

Maho smirked once. "Thank you Ernst, I think I've definitely not noticed that." She replied sarcastically, causing Erika and Christian to chuckle lightly.

"Alright lads and ladies, let's not get too excited. We've still got a bit of distance to cover. Just sit back and relax. If that's even possible in a metal box like this." Erika smiled, and looked at Maho. "I think our Leutnant needs a bit of rest."

Felix looked over at Maho. "Oh. She's asleep." He whispered.

Sure enough, Maho was slumped back in her chair, her head hanging. She had taken off her headphones and put them on her lap.

Erika smiled. 'Maho always looks adorable when she sleeps. But falling in a Tiger is almost impossible. I guess she really is tired…'

3rd July, 1943. 0230 hours.

"All units, this is Major Gegenheimer. We've arrived at our rendezvous. I repeat, all units, to halt immediately!"

Maho snapped awake at the sound of Manfred's voice suddenly crackling through the radio and her headphones. "Ernst, Stop!" She shouted, still half awake.

"Already done that Leutnant." Ernst quietly replied. A few moments later Manfred's voice spoke through the radio again.

"Okay. This is what is going to happen. A Company, you'll be parking your Tigers where those artillery guns are. At your 9 o'clock. Make sure you are about 100m behind them, so there is space for their ammunition trucks to drive past. B and C Company, you are to park on the left, at 3 o'clock, where the other artillery pieces are. Clear?"

"Jawohl, Major." Erwin, Maho and the other company commanders responded.

"Let's move out. Get some rest. We've had a long night. Over and out." Manfred spoke again.

Maho opened the commander's hatch. "You know where you're going, Ernst? Just follow Erwin's lead."

"Aye Leutnant." He replied, breaking formation and following Erwin's tiger.

Maho stood up, her upper half of her body exposed to the elements again, and looked around. In the distance, about ½ a mile away she could see the miles frontline trenches where the infantry were. She looked to her left and right; massive 105mm and 150mm heavy artillery guns were positioned in the tall grass, some of the gun crews were still awake, doing maintenance on them. Trucks rumbled past on makeshift roads every few seconds. Just in front of them, an infantry platoon marched past, heading towards the trenches. Eventually, the engine cut tank juddered to a stop. Maho looked to her right; Erwin had just opened the commander's hatch.

"B Company, this is Hauptmann Brandt. We'll just stop here. Line up your tanks in a horizontal line next to mine and Leutnant Ketler's." She spoke. "Get some rest. We've had a long night. We'll make sure our Tigers are in top condition over the next two days, got it?"

"Aye, Hauptmann." Maho and the other tank commanders replied, most of them sleepily. Maho looked up at the night sky. The sky was cloudless, and the moon shone down, its silvery haze illuminating much of the surroundings. She sat down in her chair, and looked round. Most of her crew were already sleeping. Erika had her head resting gently on the side of the cannon breech. Maho forced another smile, and tried to get some rest herself.

'We've arrived.'

Notes:

UPDATE: Chapter 6 is up.

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