/!\ TW: Mentions of attempted suicide. /!\

A while later, Santana's mom came in, looking at them, her expression poorly concealing her confusion as to why this boy appeared set to spend the night with her daughter. "Santana, is your friend aware it's almost midnight, on a Sunday?"

Sebastian looked at his watched before cussing under his breath. "I gotta go, it's a long drive back to Dalton. See you around Lopez!"

Just like that he was gone. Just like that, Santana missed him.

*•*

As Sebastian changed for his lacrosse practice his phones vibrated, distracting him from the overly dramatic all or nothing speech his coach was spewing about their upcoming match.

Can I see you soon?

He sighed, running a hand over his hair. He'd already decided he needed a break from Santana to sort of the confusion he was beginning to feel about their relationship.

Can't. Busy with lacrosse practice all week. Big game on Friday.

He listened in to the speech for a second, rolling his eyes before returning his attention to Santana's messages.

Ok.

He groaned, ignoring the inquisitive looks from his teammates. A secret romance was supposed to be fun and exciting. Especially in their case; they were both supposed to be gay. Only Sebastian was beginning to doubt his surety over his sexuality. He'd been convinced he was exclusively gay since he was ten. There had never been a girl he'd found attractive. Until Santana came stomping into his life in her black heels. Their Smooth Criminal duel had been so invigorating that he'd been unable to get her out of his mind for days before finding himself stumbling upon her in the Lima Bean and proposing their current arrangement.

It had started off as a bit of fun, just fooling around like he had with guys hundreds of times before - well maybe not hundreds - and it had been a laugh to get down on each other around their peers. And then, out of nowhere, his feelings had come into it. The kisses had started to mean something and he'd been unable to stop the jealousy boiling over when she talked about Brittany. It was everything he'd never expected and everything he had grown to hate. He was gay. He just needed time away from Santana and he'd remember that.

Even so, he turned back to his phone, typing out four words and hitting send before he could chicken out.

Come to my game?

*•*

Sebastian sat in the choir room, chewing on a tuna and sweet corn sandwich, reading over their set list for regionals, nodding to himself as he tried to picture the choreography.

"Sebastian, a word?"

He looked up, nodding to Jeff who sat across from him.

"Where's your head at, man? You've been completely spaced out during rehearsals recently. Is it a guy?"

Sebastian grinned, shaking his head. "No, nothing like that. I guess I've been feeling guilty about Blaine. It was s'posed to be a prank. I took it too far, as usual."

Jeff nodded. "I guess we're all guilty of getting carried away sometimes. I mean, I put worms in my sister's spaghetti when I was younger and watched her eating them without any remorse. At least until my mum made me eat some too."

"The difference being I could've blinded Blaine. Your friend."

Jeff stood, shaking his head. "You're my friend too, Sebastian," he smiled, punching Sebastian's shoulder. "Just apologize. I've gotta go, hockey."

Sebastian shook his head, jotting some notes onto his papers. Maybe Jeff was right, an apology might make him feel at least a little better about his actions.

"Sebastian!"

"I'm man of the bloody moment! What is it, Nick?"

Nick stood across from his face flushed from running. "One of the guys from McKinley tried to kill himself. The head's holding an assembly about it."

Sebastian frowned. "Which guy? Do we know him?"

Nick shook his head. "No, at least not personally. Something Karofsky? Blaine mentioned once that he was the reason, or at least one of the reasons, Kurt came here last year."

Sebastian felt his face whiten. He did know that guy personally. He'd been an ass to that guy. Suddenly he knew what everyone meant when the talked about news making them feel physically sick.

He sat through the assembly feeling terrible, his mind unable to stop drifting back to the horrific crap he'd said to the poor guy that night at Scandals. He'd been in a particularly bad mood after Kurt had cut into his dance with Blaine. If he'd only known.

As soon as the assembly was done he text Blaine, not wanting to speak to Santana about this. Besides, how would either of them explain how or why he had her number?

We need to talk. Lima Bean 1? It's really important.

*•*

He'd been sat in the Lima Bean for about an hour, his leg jittering from the nerves of facing Blaine again. He hadn't seen him since the incident. He tried to focus on his History assignment, frowning before taking a sip of coffee, the bitter taste doing nothing to dull his nerves.

"Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another."

He looked round, startled to see Santana coming to sit across from him. As he looked around he noticed Blaine, Kurt and Brittany joining her. Blaine had clearly called in the cavalry.

"All of this vicious, underhanded crap has got to stop."

He tried not to let his surprise at seeing her show as he agreed, as calmly as he could manage. She was completely right after all. "Exactly. That's why I called you here."

Santana's eyebrows pulled together, clearly surprised by his response. He turned away from her looking directly at Blaine, trying to see if there were any obvious signs of injury or from the surgery he'd had. "First of all…Blaine," he paused, trying to think of an appropriate apology for the severity of what he'd done. There wasn't one. "I am sorry about your eye."

"That means nothing to me."

Sebastian couldn't even find it in him to flinch at the harsh response. He was all too aware of how much he deserved it. "Just give me a chance," he pleaded, "I have no excuses, other than, a lame prank got completely out of control."

He pretended not to notice Kurt raise an eyebrow at him.

"Second, the Finn photos have all been destroyed," he turned to look at Santana, guiltily wondering how much she had known about that. "I want the Warblers to win fair and square."

Santana avoided meeting his eyes, looking up at Blaine and Kurt who were looking at him with utter disgust. Yeah, he definitely deserved that. Time for the main reason for bringing them to the Lima Bean in the first place.

"We're going to take donations for Lady Gaga's Born This Way Foundation. Win, Lose or Draw," he added, finally making direct eye contact with Santana. "We're going to dedicate our performance to Dave Karofsky. I thought you might want to join us."

"Wait for the punch, you know it's coming."

Sebastian shook his head, ashamed of how true that would have been only days earlier. "No, not this time," he tried not to picture that night at Scandals, the way he'd treated that poor guy. He'd known nothing about him and yet still chosen to be a total ass. "For too long, I have treated everything like a big joke," his voice cracked as he pictured Karofsky's face that night. He looked at Santana, hoping that she would understand the meaning behind the next words. The parts that were truly meant for her. "It's all fun and games, until it's not."

Santana let out a heavy breath, looking at Blaine who minutely nodded his head, clearly having also caught the double meaning of his words.

"We have to go, Mr Schue's called a New Directions meeting," Kurt said softly, tugging on Blaine to pull him away, Brittany following behind them like a lost puppy.

"I'll catch up guys, I fancy a coffee."

Sebastian looked at her, too afraid to hope. As the others filed out of the coffee shop, Santana reached for his hand across the table.

"Well," Sebastian let out a breathy laugh.

"That was a really good thing you did, Sebastian. A really good thing. You don't understand how much that actually means to them to hear what you just said."

He smiled at her. "Go on, go. They're waiting for you."
She nodded, looking at his coffee. "Can I take this? There are expecting me to bring a coffee back after all."

Sebastian nodded, holding the cup out to her. "Enjoy it."

"Oh, I meant to tell you. I'm going to come to your game. Alone."

A/N So sorry it's taken so long to get this one up. Hopefully chapter four should be up soon. Let me know your thoughts!