Chapter 14: Epilogue

4th September, 1943. 1900 hours.

The sun was setting gently in the twilight sky, its golden rays casting long shadows on the stationary Tigers standing side by side on the Russian steppe. The crews of the Tigers were busy making repairs and resupplying their ammunition. They had been transferred to the Smolensk area, to help support the defence of the Smolensk region as the oncoming Soviet counteroffensives pushed the German forces further and further back. So far, they have been successful at repelling the onslaught, but had taken such heavy damage that the entire battalion had to be pulled back to conduct maintenance.

A few yards away a lay a small village, with several small single floor houses which was being used as a local reserve outpost. Along it lay a road, on which dozens of tanks, transport trucks and other assorted vehicles rumbled past them, headed towards the front. Around the village, several motorised infantry reserves were also placed here; the sound of chatter and bustle was evident.

Erwin was inside the largest house, which had been adapted to be the HQ. Inside the room, there was a large table at the centre, strewn across it maps and charts of all shapes and sizes. On the other side lay another desk; on it lay a typewriter, a wooden box, several sheets of documents, a pen and a Luger with its magazine unloaded. Erwin was sitting down on the chair, a lit cigarette in her hands. She exhaled the wisps of grey smoke, before throwing it on the floor and stubbing it out and sighing. She took out a large handful of dog tags and lay them on the table in front of her; these were the soldiers in her battalion that had been killed in the fighting in the last few weeks.

"I can't go on like this…" She muttered, leaning back and sighing quietly in frustration. "Ever since she's been gone, I've been…different." She whispered, memories flooding back as the words came out of her mouth:

'I'm going to die… aren't I?'

'No! You're going to survive! Stay with me!'

'I'm sorry... I-I can't…keep… my p-promise… any…more…'

"Shut up!" She screamed in anger, standing up and holding her head in her hands as she panted for breath, quickly calming down and becoming settled once more.

'I was right… I am changing…' She thought to herself as she opened the wooden box. Inside, it contained a number of paper packets, which contained an assortment of awards. She quickly found the four that she was looking for: An Iron Cross 2nd Class, Iron Cross 1st class, Wound Badge in Silver and a Panzer Assault Badge for 50 engagements. She quickly put them in her pocket, before loading her pistol and putting it back in her holster. The battalion had just been presented their awards. Everyone was outside, celebrating. But not Erwin; she felt, empty. As if she was missing something inside of her.

"Hauptmann?"

A voice emanating from the doorway caused Erwin to turn round. It was Karla.

"Yes?"

"Erwin?" Karla whispered, taking a step forward. "Is everything alright?"

Erwin uttered a half stifled laugh. "Karla, do things look alright to you?" She turned round, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Does it look like I'm alright?!" She shouted.

Karla, shocked at Erwin's sudden outburst, took a step back. "No, Erwin, you're not alright." She whispered. "What's up?" She asked, slowly walking forwards towards her and gently putting an arm round her.

Erwin sighed, resting her head on Karla's shoulder slowly as she calmed down. "I'm such a bad leader…" She admitted. "Every time I lead the battalion, so many end up dead or wounded." She pointed to the pile of dog tags on the desk. "And now… we've been pushed back so far." Her voice rose again in frustration. "Why is nothing going as planned!" She shouted, breaking free from Karla's hold and pounding the desk with her fist.

"It's not your fault!" Karla protested. "You are a great leader. Think about Soborwka! Your actions made sure that we would survive to fight another! Your planning and strategy saved many lives that day!"

"No! So many were injured or killed, because of me!" Erwin yelled, her composure slowly breaking down once more. "Even Maho. Maho!" She spoke, shaking badly as she desperately tried to stifle her sobs. "I failed to protect her! Why is that all the people I am close to always get injured or killed?! It's not fair!" She shouted through her sobs. "And fight for what?! The goddamn Führer? The fatherland's glory?!" She laughed hysterically as her tears slid from her cheek and onto the floor. "I don't see any glory in this war! All I see is death and destruction! There's nothing glorious about that, is there?! They talk about a greater Germany, a Germany where we rise above all the over nations; Bullshit! How can Germany become greater again when we are losing this fucking war!"

Karla stood silently, absorbing Erwin's words slowly. "You're right, Erwin. We are losing this war." She whispered. "I understand you are frustrated about it all. Especially about Maho." She added, seeing Erwin give her a dark look. "But you can't lose yourself. Not now." She whispered. "We need you, Erwin. You need to continue leading us with the best of your abilities. You might not realise it, nor believe it, but listen to me; we trust you with our lives, Erwin. You are an amazing leader." She whispered, walking closer to her.

Meanwhile, a young woman cautiously opened the door to the house, silently walking towards the sound of Karla's voice. She paused, noticing the door to the room where Karla was situated in was closed. Her hand grasped the door handle, but paused midway; thinking better to listen on the outside instead of bursting in unannounced. Through the material of the wood came Karla's voice. But something was off; her voice was desperate, almost as if pleading to the other inhabitant inside. The woman pressed herself closer to the door, nearly opening it in the process. Cursing under her breath, she soon heard the exact words Karla was saying.

"…You may not believe it, but your decisions on the field prove you to be a commander with great skill and knowledge. Moreover, your men love you. They will not question your orders, no matter what. You, have our undying loyalty. We will follow you to hell and back; that is how loyal we are! We all fight to protect one another, to protect our comrades, and to protect the fatherland. Never forget that Erwin, never." She spoke softly, wrapping her arms slowly around Erwin as she quietly sobbed into Karla's shoulder.

"I-I don't believe that…" Erwin whispered into Karla's shoulder. "How can you say these things when they are not true? I mean," She paused mid-sentence, stifling her sobs slightly before continuing. "Who thinks I am a capable leader?" She mumbled desolately.

"I do." A voice emanated from behind them.

Erwin and Karla turned round. For a moment, they were in absolute awe. They could not believe what they were seeing.

"M-Maho?"

4th September, 1943. 1945 hours

In front of the doorway, Maho was standing there; her back straight and posture immaculate. Her black uniform spotless. She was a little thinner than before, but nevertheless looking a lot healthier than before the incident. Her eyes lit up in elation when she saw Erwin. "Yes, Erwin." She whispered, walking over slowly. "I'm back."

Erwin, stunned for a moment, did not react to her words. Without needing to think, she broke into a smile and ran towards Maho, throwing her arms around Maho's neck and nearly knocking her over.

Maho staggered back a few paces thanks to Erwin literally throwing herself onto her body, before laughing and wrapping her arms round Erwin's body. "Did you miss me?" She whispered, grinning as her sidecap slipped off her head and fell onto the floor. Erwin nodded frantically, words not able to comprehend her delight.

Karla smiled. "Have you forgotten about someone?" She asked cheekily. Maho smirked.

"Of course not." She spoke, letting go of Erwin and quickly hugged Karla. She grinned, relishing the welcoming hug that she needed so much. "We needed you back." Karla whispered quietly. "Morale has been lower than usual without you. But now," She released her hold of Maho and headed for the door. "I need to tell everyone you're back." She smiled happily before walking out and closing the door gently.

Upon hearing the door close, Erwin sneaked up to Maho and pushed her playfully against the wall, pinning her. "Caught you!" She spoke playfully.

Maho grinned and wriggled in her grasp, but suddenly gasped in pain. Erwin, surprised, swiftly let go of her. "Are you okay?" She whispered.

"Yeah." Maho replied quickly, grabbing Erwin into a hug. "Only hurts if I move awkwardly." She whispered, her hand gently touching Erwin's cheek as she caressed it. "You seem tired…"

Erwin smiled, moving one step closer towards her. "So?" She replied slowly, resting her head on Maho's shoulder. "I've missed you so much…" She mouthed, her arms tightening around the latter's waist.

Maho paused, flashing a smile. "I know you have." She breathed, her free hand gently weaving through Erwin's blonde hair. "To be honest…" She began, her lips meeting Erwin's cheek tentatively. "I've missed you loads as well…" Maho mumbled through her lips, as she felt Erwin's hold tighten suddenly.

Erwin nodded slowly, relishing every second that passed. She looked at Maho, before slowly letting their lips meet gently. A sense of utter tranquillity washed over her like the breeze as she closed her eyes and pulled Maho closer. It was bliss; in her mind, her worries and insecurities fell away instantly, as if the storm that had been raging in her mind for an eternity dissipated, knowing that the woman she cherished so much was with her. That she was safe.

Seconds later, it was over as quickly as it had begun. The creaking of the door opening caused the pair to break away from one another, as four figures walked into the room. Maho turned round.

Erika, Christian, Felix and Ernst was standing there. Erika, however, seemed to be holding something behind her back. Maho smiled and quickly walked towards them, shaking hands with each one before being subjecting to a torrent of questions.

"How was the journey back?"

"How bad was your injury?"

"What's it like back in Germany?"

"How many bullets did you catch?"

Maho grinned, shaking her head slowly as she saw Erwin walk over with several paper packets in her hand. "I'll answer them later, okay? But," She began, noticing the iron crosses on each crewmember. "I see you all have been decorated. Well done, you've really earned it." She spoke gently, smiling at each one of them.

"You know; you've received decorations as well. For your hard work and dedication, even if you were injured." Erika remarked casually.

"Even now, you are really modest, aren't you?" Felix stated, smirking.

Maho sighed, smiling. "You know me too well. I guess it is a part of me that I may never be rid of." She admitted before turning round to face Erwin.

She nodded, and Maho stood at attention. Erwin slowly took out the Wound Badge in Silver, before pinning it onto the left side of her uniform. It was silver in colour, featuring a German stalhelm helmet with a swastika on it. Behind the helmet were two crossed swords, and a wreath of laurels surrounding the badge with a ribbon at the base.

Afterwards, Erwin pinned the Iron Cross 2nd class onto her uniform, just on the 2nd button of her uniform, as well as the Iron Cross 1st class on the same area as where her Wound Badge was pinned. Finally, she took out the final award, the Panzer Badge for 50 engagements, and pinned it onto her uniform also, before stepping back. "Congratulations, Leutnant Ketler." Erwin stated, shaking Maho's hand warmly. "These awards are for your continued outstanding leadership, and your bravery in the defence of Soborwka."

Maho smiled, looking up at Erwin. "Thank you, Hauptmann." She spoke quietly, saluting her superior. Looking down at her new awards, gently held the Iron Cross 2nd Class which dangled from its ribbon.

"Congratulations Maho!" Karla and Erika spoke as they went and shook her hand jubilantly. Felix and Christian did the same.

Maho smiled softly. "Thanks!" She replied, just as Erika walked over with her hands behind her back, obviously hiding something. Maho, instantly intrigued, tilted her head in bewilderment. "What have you got there, Erika?"

She quickly revealed a pistol from behind her back. "High command has finally sent us some new pistols. Well, not exactly new. But it has been made standard issue for some time, but we haven't received ours due to logistical issues until now." She stated. "The Walther P38 pistol. We've already received ours, but since you were away… you naturally wouldn't have received it." She walked over and handed it to Maho. "Take it as a welcome back present from us." She smiled, as Maho took it and inspected the pistol.

The handle felt a little strange at first, but moments later it felt like the handle had just slotted right in place with her hand. "This fits perfectly to my hand." She exclaimed, holding it out and inspecting it once more in the light. It was well polished and maintained, with a dull matte black finish on the entire structure of the pistol. She then noticed a small detail; the words 'Maho Ketler' was intricately engraved on the gun slide. "I must give you my thanks." She spoke gently, smiling as she aimed it at the wall before putting it into her holster.

"We know you are, Maho." Erwin replied with a grin etched on her face.

"Still, it's great to have you back, Leutnant." Erika spoke, a smile growing on her face. She then turned to the rest of the other crewmembers. "Let's get back to our Tiger. We still need to make a few repairs to it." With that, Erika and the rest of the crewmembers left the room, leaving Maho and Erwin inside.

Upon hearing the door close, Maho turned to Erwin. "We've been supplied with new Tigers?" She questioned.

Erwin nodded. "Yeah. Almost fresh out of the factories. But the transport and delivery from Germany to here has worn it out slightly. So we are just conducting repairs on some of the worn parts." She stated. "At this rate, we should be ready to go back into combat in the next few days."

Maho smiled. "That's good. I'm actually looking forward going back to the front…" She whispered, her voice trailing off as she saw Erwin frown. "What?"

Erwin sighed. "It doesn't matter." She mouthed, before turning away and walking off to the opposite side of the room.

"Tell me."

The blunt, yet gentle voice of Maho made Erwin to turn round slowly. She walked over to Maho and looked right into her eyes. "I just don't want you to get hurt again…" She breathed, tears welling up slowly in her eyes. "I… don't think I can go through another episode like that again, so soon."

Maho smiled, reaching out and pulling Erwin into a hug. "You worry too much." She replied, letting Erwin's head rest on her shoulder. "I'm going to be alright. I'll be careful."

Erwin glanced up and gave her a watery grin. "Promise?" Maho smiled back gently before responding.

"I promise."

However, she couldn't help but feel an underlying nervousness crawl around inside her. Was it the fact she was back on the front line again, where she may die suddenly any day? Or was it knowing that the situation on the Eastern Front was worsening by the second? The fact that they may be fighting for the existence of the fatherland much earlier than anticipated? Before she could react to those thoughts, a voice quietly sounded in her head.

'Don't worry about the future, Maho. Everything is going to be fine. You have all your comrades. Erika, Karla, Erwin, your crewmembers. You are all bound by sweat, blood and fire. You are all bound by the experiences of war you all share with one another. They will all keep you safe, until the last day of this war.'

At this, Maho smiled. A sudden thought rushed through her. How could she have forgotten? Today was Miho's 16th birthday. Smiling, Maho remembered how excited Miho would have been when it was her birthday. On the morning of her birthday, Miho would run into her bedroom and shake her until Maho would awaken. A slight twinge of regret passed her as she knew that for the last few years, she had not been able to celebrate her younger sisters' birthday, because she was at the front.

"But at least I have a chance of returning home, and celebrating her birthdays again, because of all those who are with me right now." She whispered silently.

'Maybe it won't be as bad as I thought it will be after all. Yes, we have a long, hard struggle ahead of us. Yes, we will face days of torment, suffering and pain, but we will get all over it.'

'Because we have each other to rely on.'

5th September, 1943. 1800 hours

Munich, Germany.

Clouds gathered overhead, obscuring the autumn sun as a girl slowly drew the curtains shut in a room, dimming the interior. She glanced over the bedroom, checking everything was in order. Flashing a smile, she walked out of the room and closed the door.

Heading out onto the landing, she walked into her own room and closed the door, leaving a small gap between the doorframe. Sitting down on the bed, she reached out onto her desk and grabbed a photograph. Blowing the dust off it, two figures came into view.

Two siblings were in the photo. One, with her black panzerwaffe uniform all neat and tidy, smiled in the camera as the younger one hugged the elder sister. Both looked very similar, apart from the fact the elder sibling had darker and longer hair. At the bottom left corner lay the scribble 'October 1939.' The girl smiled, fighting back tears before putting it on the bed as she opened the wardrobe door and taking out her black panzerwaffe uniform and slowly getting changed.

As she got dressed, a mixture of emotions and feelings floated in and out of her. The excitement of going to war, but darker, much sinister emotions tingled in her mind. What if she died? Or even worse; what if she got injured and became physically disabled for the rest of her life? She sighed and shook her head. "Now is not the time." She whispered to herself.

Moving in front of the mirror, she took her time adjusting her uniform, so that she looked immaculate. From her looks alone, she did not look young. Many would hazard a guess at around 18 or 19 years of age. However, she held a dark secret. She had lied about her age; yet the recruiter did not pick up on it. She paused, hearing her mother's voice call her from downstairs.

"Are you ready? We need to leave now if you don't want to be late." Her mother spoke from the bottom staircase. However, her voice was different than usual; an underlying waver of sadness perpetrated her words.

"Yes, mother." Miho replied, putting her sidecap on and walking out of her room. Suddenly, she froze. She had forgotten something vital. Hurrying back inside, she picked up the photo containing Maho and herself, and tucked it into her pocket. Finally, it was time for her to play her part in the war.

A new chapter of her life would soon begin.

Notes:

Here you go. The last chapter for this first Panzer Diary. Thus ends the first Panzer Diary. I hope all of you have enjoyed this fic very much; if so, stay put! A new Panzer Diary is being planned!

A very loud thank you for all of those who have given reviews, corrected me on incorrect terminology etc. Feedback like that really helps mould my writing into what it is now!

And of course, I have to say a massive thank you for all those who have read it, and favourited/followed. This fanfic wouldn't be here right now without any contribution from you guys!

So, again, thank you very much for reading this fanfic. It has been a pleasure to write it for you guys to enjoy. But for now, I will take a break from any active writing to plan the second Panzer Diaries...

Have a great day!

Poiii~~~