Sorry this took so long. It takes a while to think up lyrics and make sure they fit with the tempo of the song (contrary to popular opinion). Anyway, read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings isn't mine, neither is this song. The only thing that is mine are these words.
Don't Trust Him
Parody of "Don't Trust Me" by 3Oh3!
Green shirt, with brown cloak over all
I got my mail shirt and axe from my father's hall
And he's a princeling (princeling)
Son of King Thranduil
A leader of the elves who imprisoned my people
R-r-r-rings, especially this One
Cause all sorts of trouble and force us to come together
However, I refuse to work with him
Legolas is stupid and he looks too girly-girl
I am asked to go (Woah)
On a trip with Frodo (Woah)
With stupid Lego (Woah, woah, oh, oh)
Don't trust an elf
Never trust an elf
Won't trust an elf
'Cause I know I don't trust him
(Repeat)
Hairy are the backs of his hands
With a grip to rival the rangers of these lands
And his armor (armor)
He had it hand-made
Got it fitted right down to his Halfling-sized height
Sp-sp-sp-splotches cover his cheeks
Showing anger and hatred that's been bottled up for weeks
And the worst is (worst is)
I know what next comes
A trip to the one and only Mount Doom
I am asked to leave (Woah)
To destroy the One Ring (Woah)
With stupid Gimli (Woah, woah, oh, oh)
Don't trust a dwarf
Never trust a dwarf
Won't trust a dwarf
'Cause I know I don't trust him
(Repeat)
Shush, elf, shut your cork.
Take your bow and arrows and go shoot some Orcs."
I said, "Shush, dwarf, shut your cork.
Take up your axe, and decapitate those Orcs."
We said," Shut up, shuttin' our corks.
We workin' together to defeat those Orcs
We are gonna go (Woah)
On a trip with Frodo (Woah)
And argue no more (Woah, woah, oh, oh)
Don't trust Sauron
Never trust Sauron
Won't trust Sauron
'Cause we know we both don't trust him