Chapter 5

Brother

A week has passed since I woke up, and with my condition remaining stable I was released. I was released by to find Luka waiting for me in the waiting lobby. She smiled when she saw me and began walking me out to her car.

When I was getting into her car, she turned to me. "So, everything feeling okay," she questioned me rather bluntly.

I smiled at her, "Yeah, they gave me a prescription for some medication but I'm fine other than that."

I saw her look go stern, though I don't think she meant for it to. "That's not what I meant," she almost sighed the words.

I lowered my head recalling everything that had happened. I could still hear my mother trying to plead that she was fine; I could still see the car coming at us. I could still hear my sisters scream my name and feel myself being thrown through the front of the car. "Not really, everything is still so surreal." Her face softened as I spoke again, "I guess I'm slowly getting used to it. I need to pack my things at home though."

She quickly nodded and began driving me home. I could tell that she wasn't sure what to say at this point, but I was content to sit in the silence. She finally attempted to begin conversation again, "The funeral is tomorrow. Everyone is going to expect you to say a few words, will you be able to do that?" She shot me a look of concern. "I can say something for you if you tell me before what you want me to say."

Her offer was meant well, but it stung to hear. I shook my head quickly, "Thank you, but I think that I can do it. It wouldn't be right for me to dump this off on someone else." I could hear her sigh again, and I looked out of her window. I felt like the tan leather seats of her car were swallowing me with every mile we drove. I wasn't sure how I was going to go inside my old house, and we pulled into the driveway before I knew it.

I stepped out of the car and turned around as I heard Luka open her car door. I shooed her back into the car claiming that I would be fine on my own, and she reluctantly agreed. Once I saw her close the door again, I turned around and walked to the front door. I looked at it and slowly opened it with a loud creak. I walked inside and slowly closed the door behind me. I walked into the living room and slowly let my gaze go from furniture piece to furniture piece. I could still see my sisters playing with my mother at the table. I could also see my mother getting Misaki ready for school and walking her through the front door. I felt my self begin to tear up, and I quickly walked up the stair to my room.

I walked into my room to find everything exactly how I had left everything. It felt so weird, I thought that I could honestly go to sleep right now and wake up to my mother yelling at me to get ready for school. I walked to my closet and pulled a small red suitcase out of the top of my closet and laid it on my bed. I began to pull clothes from my closet and dresser and set them inside. I knew that I would have to come back another time to get the rest of my things, but I couldn't bear to leave anything behind. After I grabbed some clothes, I walked to my sister's room. I looked on their desk and saw Ayano's keychain sitting there. "I can't believe she didn't have this on her that day." The thought of my sentence pained me. I grabbed the keychain and quickly stuffed it into my pocket. I opened the drawer of their dresser and looked around until I pulled out a soft, light pink sweater that Misaki had loved to wear. I could have sworn that I saw her wearing it at least three times a week.

I laughed at the thought and folded the shirt and walked to my mother's room. As soon as I walked in, I saw her room was completely spotless. I looked through her room looking for anything I could use to remember her. After about ten minutes, I couldn't find anything. That's when I turned around and saw her bedside table had a small picture frame. I saw that the picture was of her, my sisters, and me. I felt tears begin to fill me eyes as I could hear the voices of my family ring throughout the house. I quickly ran to my room and threw myself onto my bed and began crying uncontrollably. As I felt by body vibrate and pulse with ever sob, fatigue finally won over and I felt the world get plunged into darkness.

I was quickly awoken from my dream by a hand shaking me and a voice yelling, and I turned over to see Luka staring at me with a terrified look burned onto her face. "Are you okay Miku," she quickly bombarded the question at me.

I moaned groggily and nodded. "How long was I asleep for?" I let the question slip through my lips quietly.

Luka quickly responded, "You've been in here for an hour, do you have any idea how worried I was that something happened to you!" She looked like she had been shaken by something that she saw. It was so unusual to see Luka act like this, she had always seemed to be cool headed and calm. Her look quickly turned to one of confusion as she seemed to notice something in my arms. "What's that," she asked, pointing at my arms.

I looked down to notice the picture frame in my arms. I felt along it and could feel the grain of the wood underneath my fingers. I hadn't realized that I had grabbed it, but I pressed it against my chest while a small smile spread across my face. "It's just a nice memory, that's all." Luka's face softened and she help me up and out to the car. We sat down and drove in silence until we reached Luka's house. Surprisingly, it wasn't terribly far from my own house. As we pulled up, Luka grabbed my suitcase for me which I didn't really mind letting her do at this point. I was so exhausted from everything at my house that I was ready to go to sleep and stay that way all night.

Luka must have been able to tell as she helped me into a spare bedroom and told me that we had the funeral service tomorrow afternoon. I nodded to her and waited until she closed the door. Once she did, I quickly undressed and climbed into the bed. It wasn't as soft as the one at my house, but it was heaven compared to the brick that I had been sleeping on for almost two weeks straight. I held the picture frame tightly against my chest and quickly felt my body go weightless as tiredness overran my body and everything went dark.

Yet again, I had the same nightmare. It had become a fairly normal thing for me as it came every night I slept. I knew how it would work, I hear my mother, My sisters surround me, my mother approaches me, and I wake up in a puddle of sweat big enough to look like I was sleeping in a sauna all night. However, as I resigned myself to everything, I heard a voice. It was extremely familiar. I couldn't tell why, but I knew it was. I listened hard to try and hear what it was saying. I struggled hard against the noise of my mother and sisters, but to no avail. The incomprehensible words faded from the world and my mother quickly appeared in front of me. I kept my face pointed at the ground as she talked. It was the same words as every other time, and I new what she would say before she said it. It had been like that since the first nightmare, and I was growing tired of the endless cycle.

I felt hands close around me and I quickly woke up. I turned to the alarm clock to see that it read one forty-three P.M. "Well, I guess that I should probably be getting in the shower then," I said as I walked out of the room holding a change of clothes so that it covered my body. No one seemed to be home, and that made it much easier to quickly find the shower and get it warm. Finally, I undid my bra and slipped out of my panties and jumped into the nice warm shower. It felt amazing to feel the warm water creep down and run along my shoulders. I felt relaxed, something that I hadn't thought would be even remotely possible given the conditions of everything that has happened so far. I lathered and rinsed my hair extra well before slowly turning the water off. I wrapped up in a towel, and slowly begin to dry off my body. Finally, I started blow-drying my hair as Luka walked into the bathroom.

"Well, good morning little miss sleepy head," I saw her smile at me. I saw her turn around like she was about to walk out, "Do you want any coffee? There is still some in the pot and it's warm still," she quickly made the offer to me.

I gave a small laugh as I replied, "No thanks, I've never been much of a coffee person. I've never enjoyed the bitter taste it gives off and I'm not a hug sugar fan."

She looked like she was almost offended, but I figured that she was just playing with me in order to cheer me up, and if that was the case then it's working. I watched as she slowly walked out of the bathroom and then I began to get dressed. I finished getting dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a black tank top with a half sleeve black jacket paired with a short black skirt and some small heels. I put on a little bit of make-up, and then took a minute to inspect my work. After deciding that I was pleased with my look, I walked out of the bathroom. How can I be this concerned with how I look when I'm to my mother and sisters funeral? The thought rang through my head and I was suddenly disgusted with myself for being like that at a time like this.

Luka turned around to see me walking and I felt her gaze soften instantly. "You look absolutely beautiful Miku," she told me softly. Can she tell I'm upset for my vanity? I wondered quietly to myself, and I smiled and gave her a hug. She looked down at me, "Do you want to go ahead and go or would you rather wait here for a little longer?" I nodded and started walking to the front door. She followed me ad unlocked the car so that I could get in. I did so and waited for her to start the car. "Are you sure you want to do this," asked me one last time almost seeming to hope I would back out. I just nodded. The weight of what I was doing seemed to be crushing me, and I knew that the moment I talked it would al come out. All I could do was compose myself until the time to talk. She sighed and continued driving in silence.

After about twenty minutes in the car, we pulled into a cemetery where a gate was opened. We drove along until we found a plot with three holes dug. I felt my heart stop when I saw how tiny the third hole was, and I instantly though about Misaki. I felt myself beginning to break, but I forced the lump in my throat down. After another fifteen minutes, the funeral started and we watched as men carried the caskets in. I noticed that one of them had short teal hair that seemed to be extremely fine. I was so caught up in the boy that I hadn't even realized that the preacher had started talking, and was instantly snapped back into the world outside of my head when I heard the preacher call for me.

"I would like to invite Hatsune Miku, eldest daught of Hatsune Kasumi and older sister to Hatsune Ayano and Hatsune Misaki, to come up and say a few words before we lower them and say our goodbyes." I heard the preacher announce and I instantly felt like someone hit me in the gut. I stood there for a few seconds unable to move, and I felt Luka beginning to step forward. I instantly moved in front of her and walked up to the preacher, knowing this was the only chance I have to do this.

I walked forward trying to put the best smile on my face that I could. When I got to the preacher, he nodded at me and stepped back. It was at that moment that I saw the teal haired boy give the two outside coffin a look of morning. He was actually rather handsome. He was built with a strong body like he was used to manual labor. He had a hard cheekbone, but it flowed well with the soft features of his face. His face was mysterious with his eyes remaining mostly hidden behind his hair until he looked directly at you. I quickly got confused as I watched his gaze turn cold and go to the middle coffin. After a few seconds his cold gaze drifted up towards me and I instantly felt the tingle of fear in me. He quickly shook his head and softened his gaze to look the way it did when he was looking at the outside coffins.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to begin speaking, "I'd like to thank you all for joining me here to celebrate the life of my mother and sisters." I felt myself choke up when I opened my eyes and looked at the coffins, though I was able to control myself. "I can look around and see many faces that knew my family," the teal haired boy seemed to be stung by those words. "Many of you know as well as I do what kind of people they were. My mother was always an extremely hardworking woman," I continued on, "and she always tried to take care of my sisters and me. Sadly she sometimes tried to take care of us too much." I could feel tears burning my eyes as the teal haired boy curled his fist tightly into a ball. "Even in the end when she could feel everything giving in, she herself tried to keep going for the sake of us three girls."

As I turned my gaze to the three coffins again, I felt tears trying to fall again. I barely held them at bay; I needed to stay strong throughout this. "Ayano was a sweet girl, though she had to be heard whenever she spoke. I guess you can say that she got that trait from me." My voice cracked a little and I squeezed my eyes shut hard. "She was always trying to help though. She tried to help our mother with house chores, she tried to help Misaki with homework, she even tried to help me with singing." I felt the tears begin slipping down my face, and I tried one last time to hold them back. "She is still one of the best people I've ever seen, and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone better than she was with people."

I gave up and let the tears pour down my face as my gaze came to rest on the shortest coffin there. I walked over to it and fell to my knees resting my head against the wooden top. I suddenly had a flashback to my start at the academy. Oak, the word rang through my head like a bell in a church tower. "Misaki always wanted to try and be like me no matter how hard it was. Her biggest dream was always to stand on a stage and sing with me one day, but now she will never get that chance." My crying got harder and harder as I felt my hand instinctively increase its grip on the side handle of the coffin. Suddenly I felt a strong hand on my back and I turned around to see the teal haired boy placing his hand on my back. Normally that gesture would have felt rather creepy, but something was soothing. I saw him mouth the words 'It's okay' to me and I smiled a little before standing back up slowly. "The world has lost three precious angels and we can never get them back. Instead let's always remember them for the great people they were."

I turned and nodded to the preacher and he dismissed me. The teal haired boy had already started heading back to his spot, so I went back to stand by Luka some more. Time seemed to pass extremely slowly compared to normal. I cried multiple times throughout the funeral, and Luka comforted me every time after the first time. I was so glad that I had her there with me. It made me feel a lot better to know that she was here to help me through. After a while, the preacher finally finished and they lowered my family into the ground. I suddenly felt like I had frozen to the ground where I stood as I watched their coffins sink beneath the earth. I began crying harder than I had since I had originally regained consciousness. Eventually Luka helped me to my feet, although it was more of her pulling me and holding me up.

"I have someone you want to meet Miku," I heard her say to me.

"Okay," I responded hollowly.

"Come on sweetheart, let's head over here." I know she wanted to be nice, but hearing that word stung a lot. However, she was successful at herding me towards a tree. I saw the teal haired boy standing against a tree, however he had a cold look across his face. "Miku, this is your older brother Mikuo."

I felt the world stop moving and I stared at him. "H-hello." I managed to stammer out.

"Hi, we need to get going if we are going to get your stuff from Lukas before going home." He began walking away. I let me head fall and followed him silently. Luka remained completely silent as she waited in the background of everything. I followed Mikuo until we finally reached a parking lot just outside of the cemetery. I followed him to a small car and got in when he unlocked the doors.

"Thank you for taking me in." I said to him quietly. I was being far shyer than I normally was around new people.

"It's fine," he responded quickly, "It's my job to take care of you now after all," He sighed as he said the words, "Just like that woman never could for me." He made sure to mumble the last part so quietly, I wasn't sure if he said anything at all. I decided not to question him on it though. We finally reached Luka's house and waited for her to get there. She did and unlocked the door so that we could go inside I followed Mikuo inside and walked to the guest bedroom I had slept in last night. I grabbed the picture frame and put it inside a shirt in my suitcase. I felt like I absolutely had to keep that picture safe. I walked back out to see Mikuo and Luka talking. I sat on her recliner and waited for them to finish their conversation. I could feel myself spacing out as they were talking, but I didn't realize that I fell asleep until I was woken up and by a swaying sensation only to see Mikuo carrying me to the car. I wanted to yell for him to put me down, but oddly enough there was something nice about my brother carrying me to the car when I am tired so I let him finish.

I hear him close the door and slowly open my eyes as he sits down in the drivers seat. "You woke up," it seemed like more of a statement than a question and I nodded in response. I didn't want him to know that I made him carry me when I was actually awake. The car began to move forward and we took off down the road. He stayed quiet after his previous statement. I watched him carefully as if studying every portion of him. "Why are you staring at me," he asked after noticing me looking at him. I quickly looked away but remained silent. I had hardly talked to him and I just met him, this was all so weird. I was pretty much going to live with a complete and total stranger. I imagined what my mother would say if I packed my bags and told her I was moving in with a boy that I had met that day, and I shuddered at the thought of her reaction.

I just watched the dark road pass by in front of us and stayed silent which gathered a sigh from Mikuo. I couldn't tell if he was legitimately trying to talk to me or if he was just doing it to try and make me more comfortable. Either way it wasn't working very well. I zoned out as the asphalt seemed to fly underneath us, and we were pulling up to his house before I knew it. I guess calling it a house was a bit of a stretch. With chunks of brick falling out of it, missing shingles on the roof, and cracked windows it looked more like we pulled up to an abandoned building. I must have made a face when we pulled up because I heard him remark, "Look, I know it isn't much but it's all I have." He added extra spite to those last few words. "I know it's probably not the grand luxary that you're used to, but this is about all I can afford right now."

I shook my head and quickly stepped out of the car, "I'm sorry, I just wasn't sure what to expect when we got here."

He shook his head and walked to the front door, slowly producing a small key from his pocket. "Sure, that's the only reason why you gave it that look." He words had become extremely cold and I felt taken aback by it.

"Look, I don't know what you expect from me but I just lost my mother and sisters so give me a break!" I only just realized how loud I shouted that statement. I instantly saw him tense up wait a second before throwing open the door and stepping inside.

I followed him and watched him throw his coat onto a chair. "Take the bed. I don't care if you shower tonight or tomorrow, but be ready for school in the morning. I can take you if want."

I finally exploded as he finished the sentence. "Who are you! You can't be my brother, I never had an older sibling!" I began to let all my questions and emotions flow out onto him like a mighty storm. Once it started, I couldn't stop it. "There is no way I could have never heard about you!"

"Think about it," his voice felt like it was made of pure ice as it entered my ears, "why would you have never heard of me." I looked up to see his eyes were piercing straight through me. It was almost as if he was looking straight through to my soul. "Your mother got rid of me. I only got to meet her once, and that was three years ago when she came trying to get me to forgive her for shipping me off into foster care." There was something else in his eyes. Pain, the word echoed in my head and I suddenly realized it. It was a genuine pain that I knew from looking at my own reflection. It wasn't something that you could fake or make up. "I spent my whole life bouncing from family to family until Luka helped me get settled on my own. Be happy, you at least got to have a mother and sisters. I was always left to fend for myself and be on my own."

I don't know why, but I broke suddenly. "No, that can't be true! Our mother would never do that!" I suddenly stopped and looked down in shock when I realized what I said. Our mother. No, that isn't right; we couldn't be related, my mother would never do that.

He laughed, almost to himself and looked down sadly. "See, you believe me even though you don't want to." I couldn't think of what to say, instead I just dropped to my knees and began to cry to myself.

"I don't know what you and Luka are doing, but I don't want to be a part of it any more…" I heard him walk closer to me and slowly wrap me in a hug. He didn't say anything and I felt like that was best. Anything else that could be said would only hurt worse. After a few minutes I stood up and wiped my eyes dry. "I guess I should go to sleep now, I have to get ready for school in the morning." I watched him nod and walk into another room. I looked around until I found a bedroom with a single bed against a wall. I quickly laid my suitcase down and opened it up. Pulling the picture frame out, I quickly set it on the bedside table before wiggling underneath the covers and settling in. I looked more like a bird nesting than a teenage girl falling to sleep. I set an alarm on my phone and felt my eyes get extremely heavy, and everything went black as I stared at the picture of my family.