So my "final pass" edit where I was frustrated with how this chapter was ending resulted in me adding an entire new, elaborate scene onto the end of this chapter and it's turned out to be the longest one yet. But I think it made it better. (It was definitely fun to write!)
So, without further ado, the aftereffects of The Winter Soldier.
When S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, Clint and Laura were glued to the news, stunned and horrified. She had held his arm, feeling his muscles go rigid as he watched his former place of business collapse into wreckage by the Potomac, not just one, but three helicarriers crashing down beside it. No one in the media had remotely enough answers to the questions she knew blazed in both of their minds.
Laura had watched as Clint paced helplessly, repeatedly calling and texting the same numbers on his private phone over and over, but to no response. She knew with certainty which one was upsetting him most.
"I told her to call," he vented after another hour of continued silence. "If she was ever in trouble, she knew she could call me."
Laura had few words of reassurance for him. If she was unable to get to a phone, did that mean she was in hiding, engaged in the fight, held prisoner, or already injured or dead? There was no good explanation for it that would give him any peace until he could see or hear her for himself.
It didn't help that no one from S.H.I.E.L.D. was answering him, through private or public lines. Despite his years working for them, Clint was completely cut off, having to learn about the attack and the fate of his friends through the news like a civilian.
Into this tempest of fear and frustration had come the revelation of HYDRA's infiltration. She had seen the betrayal, the pure fury in his eyes as it was reported that they had all been played for fools, HYDRA poisoning the good work they had tried to do for decades. And Laura knew he now also had to wonder who among the people he thought were friends had just shot them all in the back.
But the television and internet just kept regurgitating the same unsatisfying factoids as no one had anything new yet to add. The same images replayed over and over. The reporters swarmed, the pundits yelled, the public panicked, and the Triskelion burned.
And still they heard nothing.
Laura had had to stop Clint from going to DC personally, to help, to avenge, or just to physically dig through the mess until he found the people he cared about. She knew he meant well, but they still didn't know what he would be walking into. It wasn't entirely clear which side had won, given the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s command center. The media were still trying to figure out death tolls and hospitalizations, though the numbers were surprisingly low for the extent of the destruction. Detainments were being made of all survivors the military and police could get their hands on in an "arrest now, sort it out later" type of damage control. If he arrived on scene, who was to say the overworked officers would even recognize him as a retired Avenger, or that that meant anything anymore if HYDRA could be everywhere?
What did make him pause was when they heard the news that, amidst the chaos, all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files had been dumped anonymously onto the internet. Decades of classified intel at all levels of restriction were laid bare for the world to see, the new biggest intelligence leak in US history.
Laura's blood had run cold then as Clint put down his quiver and hurried to the computer. Fury had promised their home was secret, but what level of secret had he considered safe enough? Even if somehow his home address escaped note, Clint's role in S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers was completely on record, and now visible to anyone who took an interest.
As Clint scoured the internet to see how bad the damage ran, Laura went upstairs to reassure the kids, who didn't know what was going on, but knew it was bad. And as she held them, she thanked every force in the heavens that Clint had taken the semi-retirement when he did, and prayed for those still in the field, cut off and betrayed.
When the kids seemed more at ease, Laura headed back downstairs to see Clint on his way up, looking slightly puzzled.
"We're safe."
"What?"
"Nick kept his word. There's nothing about you, the kids, or the farm in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files."
Laura sagged slightly in relief. One less fear on her mind. "Thank god."
"Yeah." He still sounded distracted. "What's weird is my file's gone."
"Your file?"
"I searched everything dumped and there's mention of an agent codenamed 'Hawkeye' in the Avengers stuff and a few mission records, but my personnel file is gone. No personal information got out."
Laura almost wanted to cry at that bit of good fortune. Someone seemed to be watching over their little family. "Maybe not all the files actually got leaked. Did you see anyone else's held back?"
"I didn't look too deep. I was just checking on our own."
She heard the solemn tone in his voice and her hand clenched the railing. "Nat?"
"Everything," he said grimly, eyes dark. "Her entire file, everything she ever did before and with S.H.I.E.L.D.. Every alias, all her safehouses and contacts, it's out there. Even—" He swallowed. "Even if she made it, she's completely exposed."
Laura reached out to put her hand on his and he pulled her into a tight hug, holding her with the ferocity of fear he didn't want to give into yet. They both knew the danger when a spy's cover was blown. With Natasha's record, she would be wanted by the KGB, the Brazilian government, many criminal organizations across the globe, even branches of America's own government as her past crimes came to light. Without S.H.I.E.L.D.'s protection, she was out in the cold, and possibly even at risk of being accused of collaboration with HYDRA.
They both jumped, Laura gasping, as Clint's phone buzzed. He pulled back, scrambling to get it out of his pocket, both barely daring to breathe.
"Unknown number," he said, looking at the screen.
As he read the text, she saw the tension melt off of him, a bow strung but no longer drawn. "Is it her?" she asked softly.
"Yeah." He turned the phone for her to read with a slight smile. "At least for the moment, she's okay."
A simple text message read: "Checking in from the mess in DC. Grandpa's in the hospital, but doing okay. Got some paperwork to take care of, but looking forward to family dinner soon. – Auntie"
OOO
Clean up and damage control wound up taking another few weeks. During that time, response to the exposure of HYDRA and the information leak had had time to fester into a righteous anger that the American pundits, government, and scared populace were eager to unleash on someone.
Somehow, with Fury gone, Pierce executed, and most of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s upper ranks in tatters, Natasha had become a spokesman for what remained of the agency, in addition to answering for her own role in it.
Laura and Clint had watched the televised proceedings with interest, partly for how the decisions made there would affect his community, partly for their first glimpse of Natasha since before the collapse. She looked surprisingly good, Laura thought, the chaos of the last few weeks not showing in her face or demeanor. Wherever she was staying, she had access to a good wardrobe, makeup, and hair straighteners, so she must not have been too badly on the run or imprisoned.
Once assured that Natasha was well, Laura found it interesting to watch the proceedings. She had barely ever seen Natasha "at work" and the perfectly collected, professional woman addressing the Congressional committee held little resemblance to the mischievous woman Laura had seen chasing her kids through the house on numerous occasions.
"Why haven't we yet heard from Captain Rogers?" one of the committee members asked.
"I don't know what's left for him to say," Natasha commented neutrally, but with just an edge of her familiar sarcasm in her voice. "I think the wreck in the middle of the Potomac made his point fairly eloquently."
Laura couldn't help but smile. Despite how precarious the situation was, Natasha wasn't going to show any sign of fear or intimidation in the face of governmental appraisal.
"Is Auntie Nat on TV?" Lila asked as the kids followed her voice into the room.
"Yep. She's fighting some big, mean politicians," Clint answered dryly.
"Cool." Cooper hopped onto the couch beside Laura as Lila climbed into her lap.
One of the military members of the panel was leaning forward, addressing Natasha firmly. "Agent, you should know that there are some on this committee that feel, given your service record, both for this country and against it, that you belong in a penitentiary, not mouthing off on Capitol Hill."
Laura winced a bit.
"Yeah, I'll bet same goes for you, buddy," Clint muttered under his breath.
Natasha hesitated and Laura thought she was genuinely considering the outcomes that could result depending on how she responded. With the unblinking eyes of the media absorbing and preparing to analyze every microexpression of her face, the futures of herself and Captain Rogers could depend on what words she chose next.
But then her expression hardened with unwavering resolve. "You're not going to put me in a prison. You're not going to put any of us in a prison. You know why?"
The committee seemed just as surprised at her sudden brazenness as Laura was. "Do enlighten us," the military officer said sardonically.
"Because you need us. Yes, the world is a vulnerable place, and yes, we help make it that way, but we're also the ones best qualified to defend it. So if you want to arrest me, arrest me," she challenged, never breaking eye contact. "You'll know where to find me."
The committee members stared at her, but none seemed able to muster any reply.
Without waiting for official dismissal, Natasha stood from her chair and walked out through the swarm of reporters, as stone-faced as Laura had ever seen her. In that moment, Laura deeply understood why the Black Widow could make governments tremble and world leaders curse her name.
The proud smirk on Clint's face made her wonder how many times he had seen her take control of a room that way and put the fear of god into overconfident brass. She wished she could see footage of their missions. If this was any indication, they were quite a sight when in action.
"Well, that was certainly an unexpected turn of events," the news anchor's voice commented as the channel cut back to the studio. "For anyone just turning in, that was S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Natasha Romanoff walking out of a hearing with the Congressional committee assigned to investigate the recent destruction of one of America's largest intelligence agencies. Agent Romanoff, also known as the Black Widow, was one of the highest ranking agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and was personally responsible for the release of classified files to the public. The questionable service referred to is Romanoff's previous allegiance to the Soviet Union. As the declassified files reveal, Romanoff was formerly a Soviet assassin, responsible for the deaths of—"
The TV turned off abruptly. Laura looked over to see Clint holding the remote, his eyes dark and muscles tense. "That's about enough of that."
"What were they talking about?" Cooper asked, confusion colored with worry. "Did they say Aunt Nat killed someone?"
Laura watched Clint silently. They had agreed when the day came, he would field any questions about Natasha until she had a chance to do so herself.
Clint set the remote down, making his voice casual even if his body language remained rigid and carefully restraining his anger. "It's a long story. When your Aunt Nat was younger, the people who raised her forced her to do some bad things. Things she still feels bad about to this day. But none of it was her choice, not that anybody in the news cares to look at what she was put through back then."
"Jerks," Lila muttered.
The corner of Clint's mouth quirked up. "That's my girl." He consciously relaxed, putting a bigger smile on his face. "Look, how about we get some ice cream and get that bad taste out of our mouths?"
Lila cheered excitedly for that, dragging Laura off the couch to get ready. Cooper followed, but she could see he was still troubled. Laura worried about that, but Clint didn't seem ready to continue that conversation yet, so she decided to leave it alone until she knew how much her husband and near-sister were prepared for the kids to know.
OOO
Laura was sitting on the porch reading the paper as Clint put new screens on the window when they both heard the distant roar of a motor growing closer. She looked up, seeing Clint freeze and knew why. They knew the sound of the mail truck and any neighbors would call before just showing up. This was very clearly a motorcycle engine.
Laura moved toward the door, at once grateful and scared that the kids were at school and far from there. Clint had already scooped up his bow and quiver, coming over to position himself in front of her. Carefully she assumed one of the sparring stances Natasha had taught her.
The motorcycle came into view around the grove of trees beside the road up to the house, kicking up a cloud of dust behind it. Despite the haze, Laura could see one small, helmeted rider and no backup. Could it be…?
The bike pulled up to the house, parking casually and putting down the kickstand. When she reached up to take her helmet off, though, it revealed black hair and an unfamiliar face.
Clint had his bow drawn and up in an instant. The woman flinched back, hands up.
"Whoa! Clint, it's me!" Keeping one hand up, the woman peeled off her face with the other, at last revealing very welcome features.
"Nat," Clint breathed, immediately lowering the bow as the tension flowed out of his body. "Jesus, don't scare us like that."
"Sorry. I couldn't call ahead in case I'm still being tapped and I had to travel incognito." She nodded at the bow. "Glad to see your reaction time hasn't slipped too badly."
"Still the best shot in the boonies," he smirked coming over to hug her warmly. "It's about time you showed up."
"You know how it is, chaos at the office." Her voice stayed light too, the familiar banter as reassuring as the hug. "Lots of changes lately," she added, embracing Laura.
"I'll say," Clint commented, admiring the motorcycle. "When did you get this baby?"
"About six hours ago two states over. Which reminds me, I need to give its owner a place to come pick it up in a day or so."
"Shame. It's nice."
"Well I'm more concerned about where you got that face!" Laura exclaimed, gesturing to the clear, now-blank mask.
"Oh, spy tech's gotten a lot better since I started," Natasha said, holding it up calmly. "Last bit of S.H.I.E.L.D. tech I held onto."
The friendly ease ended at the reminder of their circumstances.
"You okay?" Clint asked softly.
"Got out better than most." She shrugged, though Laura saw her left shoulder jerked a bit stiffly.
"Guess so. Come on in," Clint jerked his head toward the house. "Tell us all about it."
Laura thought she saw something flicker through Natasha's eyes, one of those ghosts of expression that told her something else was going on beneath her current demeanor, but it was hidden again faster than Laura could identify it.
"Thanks," Natasha said, giving no sign of whatever she was thinking. "Mind if I stash the bike in the barn? Last thing we need is police seeing a 'borrowed' vehicle on your property."
"No prob. Just don't scratch my pretty tractor."
She snorted, walking the bike off to the side of the house. As she left, Laura noted the handgun tucked into her waistband at the small of her back and remembered the risk she had been in lately.
Clint and Laura headed in so he could put away his bow. Laura got a few beers out of the fridge, popping the tops off with the bottle opener.
A moment later, Natasha came back in, travel bag slung over her right shoulder. "Okay, I'll give you credit, the tractor actually does have a few areas you haven't scratched up yourself."
"See?"
"So I don't get to meet Captain America this visit?" Laura asked, slightly disappointed.
"Figured this place wasn't my secret to share. Besides, Steve's got a mission of his own now."
"'Steve'?" Clint asked, eyebrows rising.
She met his gaze evenly, inviting commentary. "Jealous, Barton?"
"No, just… It was over a year before you called me by first name," he pouted.
"She's been partnered with him for almost two years," Laura supplied as she handed him his beer.
"Really?" He frowned. "That can't be right."
"Good to know time flies without me here," she quipped, reaching for the bottle Laura passed her. This time Laura very distinctly saw the catch of damaged muscle and ligament in her movement.
Clint caught it too. "Hey, what happened?"
Natasha tried to shrug it off, sipping her beer as she set down her bag. "Oh, just got another piercing. No big deal."
Laura winced, know a 'piercing' in Clint and Natasha's work parlance meant a through-and-through gunshot wound. Given how bad her last one had been… "You okay?"
"Yeah, it's mostly healed now." Natasha rolled her eyes slightly as Clint approached, but shifted the collar of her shirt so he could see for himself. Laura saw the familiar red, puckered circle below her collarbone and was grateful this one at least looked less severe than the one in her stomach.
"Anyone we know?" Clint asked, expression dark with protective vengeance and the guilt of not having been there.
Natasha took a deep breath, swirling her beer in a rare tell of nerves. "Believe it or not, the same artist as my last one."
Clint froze, drawing back slowly in shock to look at her. Laura felt the same chill. "The Winter Soldier?"
"Not a ghost, though closer than we thought."
"He's HYDRA?" Clint asked, eyes intense. "Did you get him? Is he in custody? Tell me I get to shoot him."
"Easy, manhunter," Natasha soothed drily. "It's okay."
"Hell it is. Bastard shot you twice! I figure we're both owed a piece of him."
"Clint," she said evenly, "the 'bastard' is James 'Bucky' Barnes. As in Cap's best friend from the Howling Commandos."
That threw him, his mouth shutting in confusion. Laura tracked her memory back to the exhibit at the Smithsonian they had taken the kids to the previous year. She vaguely remembered a boyish soldier, his face etched on glass like a phantom as if to emphasize his listing as killed in action, younger even than Natasha was now at his documented time of death.
"Apparently he was captured, not killed," Natasha explained. "Tortured and brainwashed by HYDRA, maybe the KGB too, for 70 years. Sent on assassination missions the rare times they stopped, frozen in between. Makes sense why we couldn't get a trail on him."
Clint huffed grumpily. "Well, Cap's ex from the old days or not, guy's still a threat."
"Less without HYDRA pulling his strings," Natasha sipped her beer. "He bothered to save Steve in the Potomac before going into the wind. He's a loose cannon, definitely, but not my biggest concern right now. I'll leave it to Steve and Sam."
"Sam?" Laura asked.
"Falcon. The guy with the wings?" Natasha started to mime them, but opted not to strain her shoulder.
"You're really not itching to make him pay?" Clint asked, frowning.
"If he's still a threat off HYDRA's leash, then we'll take him down." She met Clint's eyes significantly. "But I tend to be more forgiving about things done while brainwashed."
Clint looked away, jaw clenching. Even two years later, she knew Loki's possession still haunted him. More than that, she suspected his mind was travelling back to the deadly young Soviet assassin he had seen something good in. It was a tribute to both of them that Natasha could now turn around and extend that mercy to someone who had hurt her repeatedly, if not knowingly. If Natasha could see the lost American soldier in the ghost, Clint would follow her choice.
"Nat?" Laura said, inserting her voice into the brittle silence. "You've gotta be hungry from travelling. Do you want to go out for dinner in town tonight? We can get a sitter."
She relaxed a bit, giving Laura a tired smile. "Actually, if it's not a problem, I'd rather just have a meal home with everyone, no masks or media or looking over my shoulder. I can cook and everything, I just…could use a little familiar right now."
Laura smiled back. "Home works just fine."
"Yeah, sounds like we've got plenty to catch up on." Clint gestured to her with his beer as he headed toward the kitchen.
Natasha wrinkled her nose. "I think I've already talked more about the last few weeks than I ever want to again."
"Hey, who said it was all about you?" Clint teased, mock offended. "You think interesting things don't happen out here just because we're on a farm? Cooper got stuck on the roof of the barn last month."
"Really?" A genuine grin brightened Natasha's face.
"Oh yeah, but I should probably let him tell that one. I invented a boomerang arrow."
"A boomerang arrow?" she said dubiously.
"Hey, don't mock the boomerang arrow. It's cool. Oh, and the weather's been bizarre this year. I'm thinking its aliens again, but anyway. So, the snow was gone by, what…?" He looked to Laura.
"End of February, easy."
"Right, bizarre. So that was great, but it's been wild the rest of the year. Drought, fire last month—"
"And then that freak storm last week," Laura added, leaning against a chair back.
"Right. Hail, huh—?"
Laura barely processed the sound of Natasha's beer hitting the ground as the other woman jerked back, the gun from her waistband suddenly up and pointed straight at Clint. Terror flooded her, freezing her body in place, too stunned to even think of a reaction beyond shock.
"Nat, what the hell?" Clint snapped, baffled. He had his hands out so she could see all he held was his own beer bottle.
"What did you say?" she demanded. Her voice shook slightly, drawing Laura out of her paralysis enough to look closer and realize Natasha was staring at Clint in absolute horror and what looked like denial. Her hands, usually steady as a rock on any weapon, trembled more than her voice had.
"I don't know. I was rambling about the weather." Clint had noticed her bizarre demeanor too and spoke softer. "Nat, what—"
"What did you say, exactly?" she pressed.
"I don't remember. Uh, something about the hail?"
Natasha's hand flinched slightly on the gun and Laura's heart nearly stopped.
"It was an ice storm," she explained quickly, desperate to defuse whatever was happening. She tried to remember the right Russian words. "Um, liven'...l'ot. Chunks of ice the size of golf balls in the middle of April."
Natasha glanced between them, lowering the gun just a hair. Her breathing was slightly fast, her eyes shimmering a bit with moisture. "You weren't saying 'Hail HYDRA'?"
"Why the hell would I say that?!" Clint exclaimed, almost angry.
Natasha sagged, all the tension draining from her as she sank into a chair, the gun now hanging loosely in her hand. "Slava Bogu."
Understanding hit Laura like the ice she had just mentioned. "Honey, you were worried we were sleeper agents too?"
"It could have been anyone," Natasha said, voice exhausted as she set down the gun to rest her head in her still-shaky hands. "They fooled all of us. They fooled Nick, got into all levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. I was raised for espionage and infiltration and I didn't even see it. If I was that wrong…" She swallowed. "Soviet agents have been assigned to live as families for cover before. It was possible…"
The defeat in her voice made Laura's heart ache. Since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., Natasha had been poised, professional, carrying on and cleaning up the mess and being steady and unflappable to any who questioned her. She probably hadn't had an opportunity to just stop and let herself grieve the betrayal and loss she had suffered. With Clint home, she had had no one, not even Captain America, that she was close enough to to let herself break down and truly feel the effects of the last few weeks.
Clint knelt in front of her, cautious but resting a hand on her knee. "Nat, I swear to you, I'm not HYDRA. I'm not anything but me. I don't know what could prove it, but everything we've had, everything here has been real. I promise."
"Same here," Laura added, perching on the edge of the couch beside her. "We've never lied to you about anything here."
Natasha lowered one hand to catch Clint's, squeezing gratefully. When she looked up, her eyes were still reddened with tears not yet shed and more vulnerable than even Laura was used to seeing from her. "I know. Thank you."
She started pulling herself together, though her voice was still a bit rough. She sniffed slightly, looking down at her hands. "Sorry about that. It's been a bad month."
Clint gathered her against his chest, hugging hard with residual fear that hadn't gotten to release until he saw her safe and well. "Don't apologize. I should have been there."
"No." She pulled back slightly, sounding steadier. "I'm glad I knew you were safe, out of the field."
"So safe I even escaped the fallout of the intelligence dump," he said, trying to cheer her up.
"Yeah," Natasha said, rubbing her eyes clear. "I made sure of that, at least."
Clint's hands tightened on her arms, staring at her sharply. "You erased my files?"
"Not the Hawkeye references, but everything with your real name and identification, yes."
Laura was speechless, Clint only slightly better off.
"They why the hell didn't you delete yours too?!" he demanded.
"There wasn't time. For all I know, Pierce saw me doing the little bit of editing I did, not that it matters now. Besides, I was too visible in the battle. It would be too conspicuous if the files about the agent who dumped the files were gone. And it wouldn't be fair to Steve or Hill." She shrugged. "We all go down together."
"Except me," Clint pointed out.
"You have a family to protect," Natasha pointed out. "We don't."
"Yes you do, and you did," Laura said, wrapping her arms around Natasha's shoulders.
Natasha squirmed a bit uncomfortably under the affection. "All right, it wasn't that big a deal."
"Nat, your covers are all blown." Clint was still worked up, as if trying to get through to her what she had done. "Everything's public. You don't even have safehouses left!"
Natasha snorted, giving him a withering look that was much more herself. "Please, that's not all my safehouses. You don't even know all my safehouses. You never put everything on record."
Clint relented a bit, sitting back. "Of course you have backup plans."
"There was always a chance things with S.H.I.E.L.D. would go south. A change in leadership, a new war with Russia, piss off the wrong person." She shrugged again. "I have a lot of rebuilding to do, but I'm not without resources." She smirked. "I am the Black goddamn Widow."
Clint huffed a laugh. "Well, I can't argue with that."
"Well, you're home now," Laura said firmly, "so how about letting the Widow take a break while Natasha has dinner with the family?"
A sincere, slightly tired smile quirked Natasha's lips. "I'm game for that. Mind if I shower and change first? I've been on that bike all day."
"No problem." Laura gestured around them. "You know where everything is."
Natasha got up and started up the stairs, but paused a few steps up. "Oh, one other thing you should know. Nick's not dead."
Laura could about see Clint's heart leap. He desperately needed some good news. "Really?"
"He faked his death for the public eye, but he's actually chasing HYDRA bases in Europe."
"How many of us are in the know?" he asked.
"You, me, Steve, Sam Wilson, Hill, maybe a few others. Just wanted you to know." She got a bitter shadow in her eyes again, despite keeping her expression casual. "I was left out of the loop initially, so didn't want you to have to go through that too."
As Natasha disappeared up to her room, Laura let out a heavy sigh. "Should've figured who our guardian angel was."
Clint reached down to pick up Natasha's gun, thumbing the safety back on. His jaw was tight. "I still wish I could've shot a few of them. Remind me to send Cap a Thank You card. If she'd been alone or in the field when this went down…"
Laura looked at the gun. "I don't think I've ever seen her scared like that."
Clint frowned, tucking the gun into his own waistband. "She's playing it off now, but this had to hit her hard. She doesn't trust easily. To find out you've been lied to this long after giving up everything to try to be with the 'good guys'?" He tapped his knuckles on the arm of the chair irritably. "Nick left her out of the loop?"
Laura remembered the terror in Natasha's eyes at the thought Clint had deceived her. The pain. She had lost one home already this month, realized her relationships with the people there weren't as secure as she'd thought. Laura determined to make sure this one remained rock solid for her.
By the time Natasha had cleaned up, the ghosts of her breakdown were hidden firmly away again behind her casual, teasing attitude. Clint fired up the grill outside, getting an amused head shake from her by using one of his pyro arrows. While he got hamburgers and hotdogs going, Natasha and Laura threw together sides, chatting amiably about the kids' antics and new projects they were working on around the farm. Over the chatter and normalcy, Laura saw Natasha's good mood become more genuine rather than feeling put on for company.
When the kids got home from school, they brought with them a whirlwind of excitement and joy at Natasha's surprise visit and how different her hair looked and could Lila dye her hair too and what was Captain America like and did she get to use his shield until finally the food was ready and the questions died down.
As they enjoyed a proper family meal in the coziness of the dining room where they had shared so many such meals over the years, Laura soaked in the sense of peace and familiarity. She could still see occasional glimpses of the shadows in Natasha's eyes, but at least for tonight, they could pretend all wasn't going to hell in the rest of the world.
Laura had questioned many times what she was doing out here, hiding in the countryside while her loved ones risked their lives and people less fortunate struggled and suffered. But looking at her healthy family, happy children who hadn't had to experience the world's darker side yet, her husband animatedly telling an elaborate story from his childhood in the circus, and a woman who had survived nightmares darker than Laura could imagine playing with her daughter's hair while listening with fond amusement, Laura couldn't help but feel like maybe she was doing something right.
And if any one of those threats tried to destroy their little sphere of peace, she would show them every trick those dangerous people she loved had taught her.
OOO
In the winter, the blizzards of their area could choke the roadways and bury their property until they were housebound. In summer, the humidity and bugs could make being outdoors nearly intolerable. But on days like this, squarely in the middle of spring, the weather was absolutely perfect.
Laura sat out on the porch, playing with her watercolors to capture some of the wildflowers on the fields, as Natasha and Lila danced in the driveway. Lila had started ballet the autumn before and was excited to show Natasha her progress.
"And then we go like this," Lila said as she straightened and extended her leg in the air. Her supporting leg shook and she wobbled, but the look on her face was pure pride and concentration.
Natasha stabilized her as she started to slip, helping angle her leg slightly higher. "Hang on, hold that position. What's next?"
"Then," Lila said, voice slightly strained, "we pull in and twirl around…" She did so, only staggering a little as she shifted position. Finishing her spin with a slow flourish of her arms, then lowering back onto both feet, relaxing. "And then I don't remember what's next."
"Was it something like this?" Natasha shifted so she was en pointe, arcing her leg, spinning, and bending into a short series of pliés and pirouettes. It never failed to amaze Laura that Natasha could break out what were probably flawless ballet moves on a moment's notice.
"Yeah!" Lila exclaimed, clapping excitedly. "That was awesome!"
Natasha relaxed back into her usual stance. "It's a useful move too."
"It is?"
"Mm-hm, and not just for the muscle strength you build doing ballet or Tai Chi. If someone was messing with you, you could turn that twirl into a spin kick, grab their arm or neck, and when you bend like that, drag them off their feet and flip them. If you catch their arm right, you can break their elbow on the way down too."
"Really?" Lila's eyes were huge.
"Really. Here, say I'm trying to grab you. Do it again, but faster."
They repeated the move with Lila grabbing Natasha's wrist. Natasha let Lila pull her forward, tumbling to the grass. Laura didn't even flinch, long accustomed to lessons like these.
"Wow!"
"See?" Natasha propped herself on her elbow on the ground. "And nobody would expect a little girl to know these moves, so use that to your advantage."
"Right."
"Now, once I'm down, you'd better have a follow-up move. 'Cause if you don't pin me, I can come up and do this."
Natasha twisted on the ground, lightly kicking Lila's ankle to put her off-balance as she sprang up, slid behind Lila, and lightly put her arms around Lila's neck and head.
If Laura hadn't been watching, she would have thought Lila had hit her back, but the girl hadn't even reacted before It happened. Natasha suddenly threw herself back away from Lila with a gasp unlike any sound she'd made before.
"Auntie Nat?" Lila turned, confused.
Laura dropped her brush, not caring that she knocked over her water container, as Natasha scrambled backward, her knees pulling up to her chest, one arm around them, the other covering her face.
"Aunt Nat! Mom!" Lila yelled, but Laura was already sprinting across the lawn. "I think I hurt her," she said as Laura arrived.
"No, you didn't, honey. Go inside and help your dad get some iced tea for us all, okay? It's okay."
"What happened?"
"I'll explain later. Just help Daddy."
Lila looked reluctantly back at Natasha, but started running to the house.
Laura knelt slowly in front of Natasha, being careful not to touch her. There was no telling how she might react in this state. Up close, Laura could see her shaking again, but this time cold sweat shone on her skin in the previously-warm sunlight. Her breathing was coming in gasps, but it sounded like it wasn't full-on hyperventilation. Laura couldn't see her face, but she suspected she wouldn't be aware of the world even if her eyes were open.
She should have expected something like this after everything over the last few weeks, but it still caught her off-guard, making her sick to her stomach. She pushed that aside, though, relaxing so her own anxiety didn't make things worse.
"Nat?" Laura said gently. "It's Laura. You're okay. You're home in America. It's 2014. We're just playing in the yard." She decided not to mention Lila in case that made it worse. "Feel the grass on your feet? How itchy it is? Can you grab some of the grass for me? Just feel it?"
For a moment, she thought it wasn't working and her words weren't getting through to Natasha's mind, but then she saw her free hand, clenched into a fist by her side, start twitching. Slowly, almost spasmodically, her fingers unfolded partway, catching rough blades of grass as they tightened once more.
Good.
"Can you smell the fresh spring air?" Laura took a deep, slow breath, releasing it in a gentle gust. "Just breathe with me, Nat. You're safe. Safe at home."
She murmured soothing phrases like that for a few more moments before she heard Natasha's breathing begin to level out, her muscles relaxing a bit. Laura stopped talking, letting her focus shift to the grass as Natasha started lifting her head cautiously. She didn't want to stare and embarrass her friend further.
"Hey," Laura said softly, looking up out of the corner of her eyes. "You okay?"
Natasha looked pale and shaky, her eyes still hollow, but focused on reality once more. "Yeah," she muttered, voice hoarser than usual. "Sorry."
"Don't. Everything's okay. You did nothing wrong."
Fear lit somewhere deep in Natasha's eyes. "Lila?"
"She's fine," Laura assured. "Just scared for you. She'll feel better when she sees you're all right."
Natasha gave a bitter choking sound that might have been a laugh, scrubbing a hand over her face.
Laura let the commentary about how 'all right' she was pass. "Lila's bringing iced tea out in a bit," she said casually, stretching out her legs and leaning back, braced by her arms, trying not to let her worry show. "Rehydrating should help you feel better too."
Natasha exhaled deeply, starting to look more herself again. "Sorry. Breaking down like this isn't a usual habit for me."
"I know." It troubled her too.
"How'd you know what to do?"
"A friend of mine in college used to get panic attacks. This was a little different though, huh?"
"Yeah." Natasha looked down, legs still held close to her chest. Laura noticed she was still gripping a handful of grass. "Flashback."
Laura thought of the nightmares that jerked Clint awake in the still of the night, his hand flying for his bow, eyes wild. And she thought of Natasha's drastic reaction to mishearing Clint earlier. Given the lives she and Clint had lived, Laura was surprised that she didn't see them in this state more often.
"I'm sorry. Anything trigger it that I can fix?"
Natasha shifted uncomfortably, looking at her fingers curled tightly in the grass. "No. No, it's…" She seemed to brace herself. "You've seen my file by now."
"I haven't read it."
Natasha frowned at her, puzzled. "It's been all over the internet. The news has been dissecting it for weeks."
"I know," Laura said calmly, but seriously. "But I don't care. Who you were before S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't who you are now."
Natasha's jaw clenched, looking down again. "Maybe. But it still…affects me. The committee hearing and the few news interviews that have been televised are the only times I've spoken publicly about what happened in D.C. But I have been questioned more times than I've responded to recently. And since my file is now public, for the last few weeks reporters have been shouting parts of my past at me everywhere I go. So things are…fresher lately than they have been for years."
Laura's heart tightened. Well, no wonder she was having anxiety reactions.
"You can probably assume most of my work history," Natasha continued. "But what just happened now…is older. Back to my training." She inhaled. "I wasn't the only subject of the Red Room program. I'm just the only survivor."
Laura barely dared breathe. In all the years she had known Natasha, they had rarely talked about her childhood. The scant comments now and then alluded to a harsh, violent training program, but she had never given more detail and Clint didn't feel it was his right to share what he knew. For Natasha to volunteer detail on the depths of her past when she was already feeling this vulnerable was a profound gesture of trust.
"There were twenty-eight of us when I started. Some of the girls didn't make it through training," Natasha continued, face blank. "Our handlers didn't pull any punches and those who couldn't withstand it…broke. A few were accidents, just random bad luck during live ammunition training or bad reactions to the medical enhancements. But sometimes, when they wanted to eliminate a weaker candidate while making a point or have one of us prove our…commitment…"
Cold understanding washed through Laura as she remembered how quickly Natasha had reacted as soon as her arms went around Lila's neck. Her heart tore between terror, grief, and relief at Natasha's self-control.
It shouldn't have surprised her. Everything she knew about the Red Room implied brutality toward the children they were hardening into assassins, so she shouldn't have thought there was any line they wouldn't cross. But somehow hearing that Natasha had had to kill her young peers…
Natasha's eyes flashed up to hers, naked fear unhidden in them as she took Laura's silent shock the wrong way. "I would never hurt Lila. Or Cooper. I swear that to you. But if you don't think I should be around them anymore, I understand completely—"
"No." Laura shook her head, images of Lila dancing blending with a red-haired Russian girl she could almost see in Natasha's eyes. "We trust you, Natasha, this doesn't change that. If anything, it proved you could protect Lila in spite of your trauma."
"But the things I've done—"
"Don't define you," Laura said firmly. "It's about what you do now that you know better."
Natasha knew that tone of voice meant Laura would hear no further argument on the matter, but she still looked unconvinced.
Tit for tat, a confidence for a confidence. Laura leaned forward, mirroring Natasha's position. "How much have I told you about my family, before Clint?"
Natasha frowned, surprised by the change of topic. "Not much. You weren't on good terms with your parents. I didn't press for more."
Laura felt that odd mix of chill and amusement that she felt whenever Natasha implied if she had wanted to know more she could have gotten it. "Well, there's a reason I was content to move to the middle of nowhere and live in secrecy."
She shifted slightly, taking her own steadying breath against the shadows of the past. She hadn't spoken about this to anyone in years. "Did you know my maiden name was Michellini?"
Natasha started shaking her head, then Laura saw the recognition set in. "As in the crime family the Michellinis?"
"That's us," Laura nodded. "Smugglers, embezzlers, killers, you name it. Nothing as organized as the Mafia, per se, but I'm not sure there were many members of my family who had clean hands. If they weren't actively committing crimes, they were providing fronts or dealing below the table to support the rest. And my father was the brains running the business. He was the one who decided they could get ahead of other families if they got involved with some of the more…specialized crime lords out there. The kind S.H.I.E.L.D. has an eye on.
"That's actually how Clint and I met," she said, though she could see Natasha was putting the pieces together herself. "He was sent undercover in the business to take my father down. It was one of his first missions for S.H.I.E.L.D., when he was still proving he was more than just a really good archer. I started seeing him at all kinds of family functions and I'm not sure if being a flirt was part of his cover or who he was back then, but…" She smiled at the memory of the cocky young man who had brought some much needed fun into her far too serious world.
"We hadn't planned on finding love along the way, but life has a sense of humor. As the daughter of the head of the family, my destiny was probably an arranged marriage for some kind of alliance or power grab. My father would have hated Clint just for being a nobody even before he realized what was really going on. I didn't fall for him because it would piss off my dad, but I'll admit that didn't exactly hurt the thrill of it," she grinned.
It eased her concern to see Natasha almost smile at that.
"When Clint dropped S.H.I.E.L.D. on them, it was my ticket out," she concluded. "I turned evidence on them and was given witness protection. Turns out S.H.I.E.L.D.'s version beats the government's any day."
"I didn't know," Natasha said quietly, the new information having successfully pulled her focus from her own memories. "I knew Clint had met you while on an assignment, but he never said exactly how involved you were. You didn't hate Clint for going after your family?"
"My mom died when I was young, long before any of that went down. My dad was…not a good person and my brothers were competing to be just like him." She shrugged it off with old casualness. "Seeing them arrested didn't break my heart. But I'm telling you about this for two reasons. First: there are members of the family who know I ratted and would take revenge if they knew how to find me, so don't think you're bringing any more danger into my kids' lives than Clint or I am.
"Second," she continued despite Natasha's startled look, "when I was little, my dad included me in some of his work. It was like a game. Distract a guard by seeming lost or needing help so my dad's people could rob a place. Drop off a box or envelope to someone in places he couldn't be seen himself. I had a doll that was hollow and they'd hide drugs and other contraband in it without me knowing so we could smuggle stuff around the country. He didn't have me do as much once I got older and more noticeable, but I've been an accomplice in more felony crimes than I can remember."
"You were a kid," Natasha said, frowning sympathetically. "None of that was your choice."
"Right. I did what my dad told me to because it was all I knew. Just like you did for your trainers. I know it's not exactly the same," she said when Natasha started to argue. "And I can't imagine everything you've been through. But if my father had put a gun in my hands at six years old and told me to shoot someone or he would beat me, I'm not sure I would have said no."
That seemed to get through to Natasha, stopping any further debate. Laura reached out, taking her hand. "Kids can be used and manipulated. They don't have a say and can't stand up to the adults who control them. As two grown women who have freedom and more understanding of our actions' consequences, what matters is how we choose to live now and who we decide to be."
Natasha didn't respond, but her eyes were thoughtful rather than haunted.
Laura gave her hand one more squeeze, sitting back as she saw Clint approaching in her peripheral vision. He gave her a worried, questioning look, but since he wasn't running, she figured he had watched from a distance long enough to see she had things under control.
"Hey," he said softly, crouching down beside them. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah. Just a flashback," Natasha said. Her voice still sounded tired, but it was much closer to normal now.
"You haven't had one that bad in ages," Clint frowned. Laura had a new flash of gratitude that Clint and Natasha had had each other while away at work.
"Well, it's been a difficult few weeks," Natasha said with a rueful smirk. "Things are a little stirred up."
"No kidding. You want to go inside?" he asked, glancing back toward the house.
Laura saw the flicker of hesitation in Natasha's eyes, the exhaustion in her posture from the near panic attack. "It's a nice day out. How about you guys find some shade and I'll help Lila bring the tea out."
Laura got up and headed into the house, knowing Natasha would allow Clint to help her if she stumbled, but would try to put on a strong front if she had an audience. Laura figured she could keep Lila distracted long enough to let them have some privacy.
Lila looked up from stirring sugar into the pitcher of tea as Laura entered the kitchen. "Is Auntie Nat okay?" she asked, fear in every line of a face too young to have to be aware of trauma.
Laura hugged her tightly, wishing her as long a childhood as possible. "She's fine now."
"What happened to her?"
Laura sighed, trying to decide how to explain. "Sometimes people who have been through bad things suddenly relive them in their minds. Like having a nightmare while you're awake."
Lila gripped her tighter, voice shaking. "Did I make her have that?"
"No, sweetie." Laura hugged her again. "You didn't. In fact, I think you're good for her. Having good times with you kids helps." It had certainly helped restore her own faith in humanity and the innocence of youth.
Laura glanced out the window to see Clint had helped Natasha to a chair on the porch. She still looked worn out as they talked softly, but her normal color was back. "Here, why don't you take Daddy and Aunt Natasha some tea while I find where your brother's gotten to? Then maybe we can all go out for dinner tonight."
Lila looked out the door nervously, but nodded. "Okay. Cooper's on his computer."
"What else is new?"
As Laura headed to the stairs, she paused, looking out the window again. Natasha was beaming and pulling Lila into a reassuring hug, any trace of her flashback hidden once more. Smiling slightly, Laura continued upstairs to find her son.
OOO
That night, after they had settled back in from a meal at a fast food place in town where no one questioned strangers passing through, Laura was folding and putting away yet another endless round of laundry in Lila's bedroom when she heard a hesitant knocking sound down the hall. Peeping out of the doorframe curiously, she saw Natasha look up from her seat on her bed at Cooper, who stood in the open doorway to her room.
"What's up?"
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, twisting his hands nervously.
"Sure," Natasha said, setting her book aside. "What about?"
He hesitated, brow furrowing. "I read the files about you online."
Laura dropped the shirt she was holding in shock.
No.
She debated intervening to stop the conversation, regretting that she and Clint hadn't followed up on Cooper's concerns before Natasha got there, but part of her knew stepping in now wouldn't put the cat back in the bag and at least she was nearby if things got bad. Cooper was a smart, curious boy who was old enough to question things and maybe deserved more answers than he had when he was younger. But why did he have to bring it up today?
Natasha's face was a frozen mask, only the whitening knuckles of her twined hands betraying her distress. "Ah. And…?"
"And a lot of it's really nasty stuff," he said, looking at his own hands rather than her. "And I couldn't picture you doing it, but everybody on TV's talking about how you were a bad guy once."
Laura's heart broke as Natasha's eyes took on a sad resignation. Clearly she had been expecting this day to come too, and fearing it. "I was, yes," she said simply, without excuse or evasion.
"But Dad says the people who raised you made you do it, so I looked deeper and read your medical files."
Mortification rushed through Laura, as well as horror over what he may have seen. They were going to have to have a serious talk later about boundaries and what he was doing online.
"I didn't understand most of it," Cooper continued, face still hard to read, "but I know those people hurt you. A lot."
Natasha didn't seem to know what to say anymore, just letting him speak his piece.
Cooper paused, apparently thinking deeply. "There's this kid at school who picks on me," he said at last. "He's mean to everybody and fights a lot and everybody's scared of him. But when we had Parent-Teacher Night, his dad was even bigger and meaner than him. When the teacher told his dad what he did, the bully came into school the next day with bruises all over that he tried to hide from the teacher."
Cooper swallowed, looking up at Natasha now. "Mom said that when people grow up with violence, sometimes that's all they know how to do. But ever since Dad brought you here, you've always been nice to us. So you must've been a really good person to not turn out mean."
Natasha jerked slightly as if struck by an unexpected hit. Laura couldn't see her exact expression due to the moisture in her own eyes and the pride glowing in her heart, but she could imagine it.
Cooper didn't seem to notice her reaction, clenching his hands in frustration. "But all the news people talk about is the bad stuff. They never talk about all the good stuff you and Dad did for work or how you helped save the world from aliens or anything! It's not fair! You're heroes!"
Natasha reached out a hand to him, finding her voice again. "But I did do those bad things. And no matter how much good I do, I still have to pay for them somehow."
"But that was forever ago!" he argued. "I'd hate if people got mad at me for stupid stuff I did when I was little."
She saw Natasha try to hide a glimmer of amusement. "I know. But you don't just become a good person or a bad person. You have to prove it every day, especially if there's no way to apologize to the people you've hurt in the past."
Cooper sighed, moving to plop down beside her on the bed. "I guess. It still sucks."
Natasha smiled slightly, putting an arm around him. "Yeah, sometimes."
He looked up. "Want me to hack the news feeds so they have to say nice things about you?"
Laura had a moment of concern over whether he was joking or not.
Now Natasha beamed as she pulled him closer to her side. "Nah, the only people whose opinion I care about already know me. The rest don't matter."
Assured that all was well, at least for now, Laura went back to putting away Lila's clothes, immensely proud of the children she and Clint had raised.
OOO
After everything that had happened recently, it didn't surprise Laura a bit when Lila woke with a bad dream the next night. Laura had assured her again that Natasha was still fine and everything was okay, then stayed with her, talking, cuddling, and humming lullabies until Lila fell back asleep.
Laura was walking back down the stairs, debating how much more sleep she'd be able to get before both kids were up for the day, when she heard voices in the dining room. She paused, breath shortening as she listened.
Natasha was talking to someone.
Laura crept further down the stairs. She would pass the dining room before getting to her bedroom, so waking Clint for backup was out of the question. Not that Natasha sounded threatened, but still, any strangeness in her home right now was unnerving.
She carefully extracted a handgun from one of Natasha's hidden stashes and snuck toward the dining room. She nearly jumped seeing the dark-haired woman sitting at her table before remembering Natasha's incognito dye job.
The man's voice she heard, however, drew her attention. It was strangely familiar, like she should have been able to place it, though not in her house. Was that…
Tony Stark?
Laura shifted her angle of view and saw the holoscreen on the table in front of Natasha. Above it was projected the instantly recognizable face of the Iron Man himself, slightly less smarmy-looking in washed out green light.
Laura was briefly surprised anyone was awake yet to be chatting at this hour, but saw the first glow of dawn on the horizon and realized it was already morning on the east coast.
"Look, I'm not trying to be creepy here," Stark was saying as Laura started tuning into the conversation itself.
"You rarely need to try," Natasha commented dryly, her voice back in what Laura recognized as the Black Widow's.
"I'm not joking. This is a genuine offer. I'm honestly inviting you to move in with me. Do you know how many women would leap at an opportunity like that?"
Natasha leaned back, appearing to bite back a sarcastic reply. She eyed him for a moment, gauging him somehow. "Is Pepper there?"
"Yeah, she's right here." His eyebrows arched. "Is that the incentive you need? 'Cause she's taken, but if that's what you're into I can—"
"Put Pepper on the line," Natasha interrupted coldly, unamused.
"All right. Okay." Stark held up his hands, scooting out of view of the screen. "Pep, she wants you. Well, not wants you, but—"
His voice trailed off as a light-haired woman sat down at her side of the screen, giving the unseen man a threateningly restrained look worthy of Natasha herself. "When this is over, we will be discussing at length exactly what you were about to offer her in place of me."
"I will be thinking of a response."
Pepper pointedly turned back to the screen, a more genuine smile spreading across her face. She was naturally elegant and composed, every bit the once-CEO and dedicated personal assistant Laura would have pictured. Laura had seen her once or twice before on the news, although she never really paid much attention to business matters. But she mostly knew Pepper from the stories Natasha had told her after her time embedded at Stark Tech. Anyone Natasha considered the sole high point of her time at the company earned her good marks in Laura's book.
"Hello, Natasha," Pepper greeted her smoothly, sounding sincere. "I like your new look."
"Thanks." Natasha's voice shifted as well, going slightly warmer. More Agent Romanoff than the full Black Widow. "Things going all right there?"
"About as well as can be expected with the current chaos. Are you all right? It looks like at least you aren't on the street."
"I'm fine, yes." Natasha glanced at the backdrop of kitchen behind her. "I'm at one of my safe houses."
"Well, I'm glad to hear it."
"So, you're aware of the invitation Stark just made me?"
"I am, and although I'd completely understand if you say no, I actually whole-heartedly support this one," Pepper said.
Natasha arched an eyebrow. "Really? So this isn't just an overboard seduction attempt?"
"No. Believe it or not, this is actually Tony trying to be kind. Both of us felt bad that we haven't been able to help since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. Captain Rogers hasn't been available to contact, but we have a few propositions for you both."
Pepper shifted in her chair, becoming even more business-like. "First, we know that although the Congressional hearing is over, the legal fallout from this is likely to go on for some time. Tony and I would like to offer the best lawyers on our payroll to you, Captain Rogers, Agents Barton and Hill, and anyone else you feel need the defense. As they're Tony's personal attorneys, you can imagine they are very experienced with difficult public relations cases," she added with a sly expression. "I doubt any public defender the government offers will be as good and I can vouch that they're not just in this to make a name for themselves."
Natasha seemed slightly taken aback. "Thank you. I appreciate that."
Pepper waved a hand, demurring. "We'd offer the same thing to Dr. Banner and Thor. Tony feels that since the Avengers are a team, he should be there for the rest of you. What affects one of you affects the others."
Natasha stiffened, not enough for Pepper to see, but visible enough to Laura who was well-versed in her body language. The offer was sincere and the reasons compassionate, Laura thought. She suspected Pepper didn't know the depths of guilt Natasha was swimming in right then and how her last sentence could be interpreted as wanting to prevent her from bringing shame on their team.
Fortunately, Natasha seemed willing to brush it off and not dwell on potential underlying meanings at the moment. "Well, we may take you up on that then. Tell Stark that Rogers, Barton, and I appreciate it."
"You're with both of them?" Stark's voice came from off screen. "How's that working out?"
Pepper shot him another silencing look, then turned back to Natasha. "As for the rest of our offer, let me try to explain it in a less-Tony way. You remember our tower in New York."
"Couldn't forget it."
"Well, we've been undergoing massive renovations on it, not just to repair the damage from the battle with the Chitauri. Tony had the idea that he wanted the Avengers to have their own base separate from S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and although I know he started the project for more basic reasons, given recent events, I think he made the right call. I'll send you a few of the designs for the new Avengers Tower."
Natasha glanced down at the holoscreen device as a new file appeared. "He's actually thinking about taking his name off it?"
"There are a lot of changes happening around here. If you look at the schematics, you can see in addition to all of the research and design laboratories and testing ranges, Tony devoted one floor to be available for each member of the team. Yours is highlighted, although if you see anything wrong with it there's always room for alterations to be made."
Laura couldn't see the schematics from where she stood, but Natasha was looking through them on her tabletop screen as Pepper continued talking.
"The majority of each personal floor is devoted to living quarters. You have a penthouse-style suite set up with a fully-stocked kitchen, entertainment system, spa-style bathroom, and, of course, a stunning view of downtown Manhattan, hardly any scars still visible from the Chitauri invasion."
"Pepper, it's beautiful, but—"
Pepper held up a finger. "I'm not done with the tour. It also has a personal gym and shooting range. The windows are tinted so you can see out but no one can see in, granting you complete privacy. It also contains some of the best information security and retrieval technology Tony could recreate from S.H.I.E.L.D. and improve with his own designs, a partially stocked arsenal of the weapons listed as your preferences in your file, and lots of untouched space left available for you to decide what you want to make it feel like home. And, like the other suites, the elevator can be coded to only go there with your own private key code if you decide you want more security. It's designed to function as a fully independent living space, although we would enjoy having you join us in the communal areas of the tower as much as you're willing," Pepper added, her face still glowing with pride at showing off their creation, but softer than before.
Natasha continued reviewing the documents Pepper had copied to her, but Laura suspected it was more to cover her own speechlessness than really making a strategic analysis of the property. Laura had to admit, Pepper had Natasha's number pretty well. And the idea that someone else out there had put in time, thought, and a considerable amount of money to try to make a nice home for Natasha endeared the woman, and maybe Tony himself, deep into Laura's heart.
"You make a compelling offer," Natasha managed at last, keeping her voice cool and unaffected.
"We do our best." Pepper smiled in a way that suggested she knew Natasha well enough to see through her facade.
"Stark actually thought of all this?"
"Well, a number of the details were my idea, but including private spaces for each of you was Tony's idea from the beginning. Even if he won't admit it much, I think being part of the Avengers means a lot to him and he's enjoying being able to contribute something for the whole team."
"Why wouldn't I admit it?" Stark asked off-screen. "I have the chance to build a clubhouse for my friends who are a bunch of superheroes. Ten-year-old me is having a field day!"
Now Pepper smiled fondly at the man off-screen and Laura had a sudden sense of connection to the woman. She may not officially be Stark's wife yet, but Laura recognized that look and understood she was seeing a bit of the side of Tony Stark that had made Pepper fall in love with him despite so much of what the rest of the world saw.
"It's definitely thorough," Natasha said, playing for time on her decision again. She looked up at Pepper now, brow arched. "And you're okay with this idea?"
"Honestly, the change has been fun so far. Dr. Banner moved in a while ago and he's been good for giving Tony someone else to talk to about his work rather than isolate himself in his lab. We hired Maria Hill, as you've probably heard, and we've talked about having her move into one of the more generic guest suites, but we'll see how that goes. Honestly, having some more women around here who aren't attracted to Tony is a welcome change for me. And you know I'd enjoy your company here even if we weren't outnumbered by boys."
"Miss my superior secretarial skills already?" Natasha teased, finding her composure again.
"I won't lie, it's been hard to find another personal assistant who can handle business affairs and killer robot attacks with quite your level of ability." Pepper's face sobered. "But honestly, we're not asking you to come here for a work commitment. If you want a job, we can absolutely put your talents to use, but there's no ulterior motive to our offer. I'm sure you have your situation under control already, but if you don't want to have to jump from safehouse to safehouse or worry about how to make ends meet, the apartment is here, available for you at any time, no cost. The tower is completely paparazzi-proof and we have more resources than we know what to do with. Any time you want to take advantage of it, just come over. Although, if possible, let us know you're coming so Happy doesn't have a heart attack when you suddenly appear in the tower."
Natasha smirked now, nodding slightly. "I'll strongly consider it, Pepper. Thank you."
"Hey, I have all the same sentiments too, just not worded as nicely as she did," Stark added, leaning back into view.
"Then thank you too, Stark. I'll be in touch."
"Please do," Pepper added, the businesswoman fading to just a concerned friend. "Anything we can offer, just say the word. I still owe you for keeping Tony from destroying himself the first time, much less everything you did for New York."
"You don't, but I appreciate it. I'll let you know." Natasha switched off the holoscreen a bit abruptly, her discomfort at the conversation starting to leak through.
Laura relaxed, preparing to put the handgun away and head back to bed.
"She makes a pretty good sales pitch, huh?"
Laura started, turning back to the dining room. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just heard voices."
"It's all right," Natasha said, looking her way. "I'm glad you were ready to have my back that quickly."
Laura took Natasha's initial question as a sign she wanted to talk about what had just happened. She gladly set the unused handgun down on the counter and walked over to sit across the table. "That was quite a generous offer."
"Mm." Natasha's eyes were staring at the deactivated holoscreen on the table, but her gaze was internal. "If the government does decide to pursue legal action, I'll definitely take them up on the lawyers."
Laura nodded, watching Natasha carefully. She was evading the second part of the offer and Laura decided to clear up any side doubts she may have about her decision. "I didn't see much of the floorplan she was talking about, but sounds like they've built an incredible place in the tower."
"Stark spares no expense when he gets a project in mind. And Pepper has good taste. She knows how to put the human touch on Stark's technical ideas."
Laura smiled a bit. "You like her, don't you?"
Natasha looked up now in surprise, eyes more focused. "Sure. She's unflappable, dedicated, a talented businesswoman and boss—"
"Right, but I mean you like her as a person. There's not many people you compliment that much and you approved of her way back when you were undercover at Stark Tech. Have you stayed in touch since then?"
Natasha shifted, slightly embarrassed now if Laura was reading her correctly. She was no better at admitting emotion about new people than Stark apparently was. "We do talk fairly often. At first it was for work follow-up, but then she started inviting me for lunch or coffee and it became a semi-regular thing. It gives her a chance to vent and talk to someone outside of work, and I…" She paused, then proceeded. "I enjoy her company."
Laura tried to control her smile so she wasn't full-out beaming. The idea that Natasha had another friend out there while she was away on duty was profoundly reassuring. "Well, between her and Captain Rogers, it sounds like you haven't been as alone as we feared since Clint retired."
"She isn't replacing you," Natasha added quickly. "We're work friends, I guess, but that's not the same as what we—"
"I know!" Laura laughed. "Nat, relax. I'm not jealous you have other friends out there! I'm thrilled for you! It's good to have multiple people in your life you can count on or just have fun with."
"All right. Good." Natasha nodded, almost blushing awkwardly.
Laura watched her a moment, seeing the indecision still written in her face. "I think you should do it."
Natasha looked up sharply. "What?"
"Their offer for you to move in? If you think you can stand living that close to Tony Stark, I think you should go for it."
"Do you?"
"I do. Look, we both know you're not going to stay here forever. That's not a shot at you," she added quickly. "You're too much in the public eye right now and I know you're going to move on before you draw attention our way. You have plenty of safehouses, I'm sure, but think seriously about what they're offering. You can be alone or you can have familiar faces around you and get to know your new teammates better. I know Clint would have more peace of mind if he knew you were surrounded by people who had your back again, especially until this whole HYDRA mess blows over."
Natasha mulled this over, pursing her lips with mild stubbornness. "Maybe. I'll think about it."
"Good. This will always be your home, but there's no reason to turn down a sweet apartment in the city too." Laura laughed slightly. "You're a lucky woman, Nat. There's not many people who have multiple people begging them to move in."
Natasha scoffed briefly, looking down at her hands. For a moment, Laura thought she became neither the Black Widow nor Agent Romanoff, nor even Natasha, and thought maybe she caught a glimpse of the little red-haired girl who had been thrown into a cold world years ago. "I'm an assassin and a spy," Natasha said, even her voice smaller. "How did I get here?"
Laura reached over and put her hand over Natasha's joined ones. "Because you're more than an assassin and a spy. Everyone around you knows it, so maybe you should start trusting their insight."
Natasha looked at their hands, then gave Laura a sideways look, the corner of her mouth quirked slightly. "You know, you make a damn good sales pitch too."
"I know." Laura sat back a bit, mimicking Pepper's self-satisfied smile. "If your friend there's ever hiring, you can give her my resume."
"Oh, if you're ever free to come out of hiding, I think I definitely need to have you two meet."
"It's a date. And you can show me your swinging New York City apartment."
"Once I've confirmed that Stark doesn't have any hidden cameras in it," Natasha said, probably only half joking.
Laura smiled, then spoke seriously again. "You know, as sleazy as he can be, at least he's upfront about it. I think you can trust these people, Nat, and after everything that's happened in the last few weeks, having a smaller team of people you can get to know personally would probably do you some good."
The nervousness came back again. "Maybe. It's been a while since I've let new people get to know me that well."
"Well, if it makes you feel better, I think this group will understand your situation. From the way you've described Stark, he probably read your file already, maybe before it was ever even released to the public. And he's still making the offer. That counts for something."
Natasha's jaw shifted thoughtfully. "True. It does."
"What's Stark offering you?" Clint asked, rubbing his eyes groggily as he walked in.
"He wants me to move in with him," Natasha answered, sounding more at ease with the idea.
"Yeah? You gonna go kick his ass for that?"
"No, he invited you too."
"Oh, sweet." He perked up. "When do we get to check the place out?"
"I don't know when you want to go." Natasha looked up, meeting Laura's eyes with an expression of confidence that hadn't been there since she arrived. "But I guess I'm heading up in a few days to take the tour."
Laura nodded approvingly.
"Great!" Clint started sorting through the cupboards for a bowl and a box of cereal. "So, did he actually give us separate quarters or does he think we need a honeymoon suite?"
"Well actually, now he thinks you, Steve, and I are a threesome."
Clint spilled cereal across the counter, glancing back with a wince. "I know he's a great guy and all, but I'm not sure I'm onboard to follow through on that rumor."
As they teased each other, Laura leaned over the table, glancing at the blueprints still on Natasha's screen. The luxury high-rise was beautiful, and Laura was a bit jealous she wouldn't get to go with Clint to see his property there. Well, if all really did work out well with this new team they were building, she was going to insist on getting to meet the other woman who was opening her home to Natasha. In the meantime, maybe she'd have a huge bouquet of flowers sent her way. Particularly when she noticed the private elevator set up to connect just Natasha's floor and Clint's, so they could visit privately. Whether intended for romantic liaisons or not, Laura knew having Clint so close at hand would help put Natasha at ease quickly. Especially if these flashbacks lingered for a while.
Getting used to a new team would take a while, Laura was sure, and potentially having someone outside the Bartons witness Natasha's moments of weakness was going to be tough. But if they all were sincere about making it work, this Avengers thing might be the best thing to happen to any of them in a long time.