Bleed

Chapter 3: Home

In the end, Ana didn't pack anything. Surveying her bedroom, she realised that there was not a single item in the room that was hers. The clothes were paid for by Christian. The laptop was his. The Blackberry was his. Everything in the room was his.

No, Ana mentally corrected herself; I'm not. She smiled. So, she simply changed into Kate's plum dress – why had she never returned it? – and exited the room. Taylor raised an eyebrow when she came back without a bag.

'There's nothing here that I want,' Ana explained, staring pointedly at Christian. He was quietly seething. She had trouble controlling her mirth. This was all feeling fantastic. It would probably not feel like that forever. All the more reason to enjoy it now.

'After you,' Taylor said, escorting her to the door. Ana noticed that he subtly kept his body between Christian and her at all times. Standard bodyguard stuff, she thought, until she pictured the same situation without Taylor. If Taylor wasn't here, she would not be walking out of Escala. Standing in front of the elevator, Ana touched his arm to get his attention. He turned towards her.

'I'm so happy that you're here,' she told him. She didn't quite know how else to express her gratitude. Taylor seemed to get it. He nodded. They rode the elevator down in silence. Ana felt as if she was about to burst with happiness. That was why it came as such a shock when they got to the car and she broke down. It happened as she clipped her seatbelt into place. Out of nowhere, she started to sob.

It was the ugliest of crying too. Loud, snot-filled, nearly hysterical bawling. It was immensely embarrassing, which made her cry even harder. Everything was terrible, until Taylor placed a hand on her shoulder and handed her a huge handkerchief.

'Thanks,' Anna blubbered through her tears. She glanced up to find Taylor looking at her.

'I'm sorry,' she muttered, waving the handkerchief around to indicate what she was apologising for. Being a mess; making a scene. Taylor slowly shook his head, as if disagreeing.

'Nothing to be sorry about,' he gently replied. It was so nice that Ana almost began to cry again. This time she managed to stop herself, though. Get a grip, she admonished herself. She pulled herself together as well as she could. Taylor started the drive to Kate's apartment. Occasionally, they talked. About Sophie, whether Taylor would be able to get a new job (he told her not to worry about that) and about how Kate would react to all of this.

It was comfortable in a way that talking to Christian had never been. Just two people telling each other about their lives. No pressure, no threats, no strain. When they arrived at Kate's, Ana was almost sorry to say goodbye.

'I don't know how to thank you. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what… Thank you, Taylor. Thank you so much.'

'Jason. I call you Ana; you call me Jason?' he proposed. Ana grinned,

'That sounds reasonable. Jason. I like it,' she said. Then she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Taylor didn't flush. Wait, no, Jason didn't flush. He was too unflappable for that. Yet, he did smile in an unfamiliar manner. Sort of half-pleased, half-embarrassed. Ana unfastened her seatbelt when something occurred to her.

'Would it be alright if I called you? To see how you're doing? To ask about Sophie?' she inquired, hesitantly. It would be a shame if this was it. They were just getting to know each other.

'Of course,' he replied and handed her his business card. She accepted it and turned to go, but Jason took her wrist into his hand. Either he has really big hands or I have really tiny wrists, Ana thought. He held her wrist so loosely that she could have slipped out of his grasp with minimal effort.

'If Christian gives you trouble…' he began, but Ana interrupted him.

'I have your number.'

He smiled at that and tapped her wrist before letting go. She waved as he drove away. She kept her smile in place until he had disappeared from sight. Then her face fell. She felt old and tired. I should pay more attention to my body, she realised. It knew what it wanted. All she needed to do was listen. It was time to get to know her body as well as Christian had claimed to know it. And right now her body wanted sleep.

(***)

Sunday evening.

'Ana? How are you feeling?' Kate asked, brushing Ana's hair away from her face and perching on the edge of the bed. Ana had written a short note to explain what had happened before going to bed. She considered the question.

'Is it supposed to hurt?' she finally asked. After all, Kate had experience in this area. Relationships, break ups etc.

'Kinda, yeah,' Kate admitted, sounding apologetic. 'Breakups are rarely easy. Do you wanna borrow my ugly, pink pyjamas and eat ice cream?'

Ana nodded. Kate presented the pyjamas in question to her with a curtsy, which made Ana giggle and reminded her of another item of clothing.

'Hey, I brought back your dress. Can you believe that I still had it?' she remarked. Kate smiled, but her smile immediately faded when she noticed the bruises on Ana's arm.

'Christian did that?'

'Yes,' Ana said, grimacing at the memory. Her arm was stiff and sore. Kate's nostrils flared. It was faintly horse-like and, yet, did nothing to diminish Kate's beauty. For the first time ever, Ana wondered if she was maybe a little bit gay. Maybe that was what her body was trying to tell her whenever she admired Kate's attractive features.

'It's official. I hate him,' Kate announced. 'You can tell me everything over ice cream.'

(***)

Sunday night. Several pints of ice cream later.

'What you're saying is that he refers to his biological mother as 'the crack whore' and that he has spend his adult life beating and having sex with women who look like her. No, that isn't disturbing at all,' Kate summarised, sarcastically. It sounded especially bad when Kate said it. Though, to be fair, she wasn't twisting Ana's words. That was how it had been.

'I thought he was like Angel, but he turned out to be more like Alec,' Ana muttered. Kate raised an eyebrow and leaned forward.

'But… they're both dicks,' she protested. 'Seriously, Ana, did you read Tess of the D'Urbervilles? Alec rapes her and Angel decides that she is not pure enough for him after that, despite having sex with a prostitute himself. They are both awful.'

Ana blinked. Rape? She tried to remember reading that and couldn't. She opened her mouth to argue, but Kate was too fast.

'No, Hardy didn't explicitly state that Alec raped Tess, but the text heavily implies that that's what happened,' she explained. How horrible, Ana thought. She felt even worse when she remembered how she had bantered about Angel and Alec with Christian. Had Christian known? He might have. He certainly enjoyed having conversations with her wherein she didn't truly understand what they were talking about. With a shudder, she recalled their conversation in the hardware store.

'Next you're going to tell me that Heathcliff is a… dick,' Ana joked, almost whispering the last word.

'He is. But Cathy is too, so it evens out,' Kate replied. Her delivery was so dry, so matter-of-fact, that Ana simply couldn't help it: she started to laugh. Kate soon joined her. They laughed until they cried. For a short while, Ana managed to forget all about Jason's parting words.

If Christian gives you trouble…