Bleed

Chapter 8: Scars

'I am not marrying Christian, mom. We're not even together anymore. I broke up with him,' Ana explained, feeling a head ache coming on. She squeezed her eyes shut. This must have been what Mia had been so excited about. Ana wondered who else Christian had told. Had he just called everyone they knew to tell them the "happy news"?

'But… I don't understand,' Carla replied. 'Why would he say that he's marrying you if that's not true?'

Because he's crazy, Ana thought. She attempted to formulate a response that wouldn't upset her mother.

'He's not handling the breakup particularly well, so far. I think that he's maybe a little messed up at the moment.'

'Oh, well. Anyone would react badly to not being able to be with you any longer,' Carla reasoned. Ana felt her cheeks grow hot.

'Mom!' she chided.

'What, dear?' Carla replied, unapologetically. 'Parents are contractually obligated to think that their children are great, aren't they? Luckily, I had you and you actually are great.'

Despite herself, Ana grinned and almost missed her stop. Hurrying out of the bus, she sensed movement behind her. Outside on the pavement, panting, she watched the doors close. Sawyer looked at her through the glass. When the bus started to drive again, she gave him a little wave; masking the emotional turmoil inside of her.

'Ana? Honey?'

'Yes, I'm still here,' Ana confirmed. Her heart clenched uncomfortably as she began her walk to the office. She knew the lengths Christian would go to keep her from irrational harm. Maybe having her followed was his screwed up way of protecting her? Except, he could easily have hired someone she wouldn't recognise, but instead he had given Sawyer the job. Knowing that she'd be able to identify him. Was Christian trying to put her on edge deliberately?

'I am thinking about coming out to visit you this weekend or the next,' Carla announced. I can't handle that, Ana thought. She could barely handle the situation as it was; she couldn't also handle her mother on top of that.

'I would really like that, but not right now. I'm extremely busy. Maybe later this month?' Ana proposed. Hopefully, this nonsense with Christian would be over by then. Carla reluctantly agreed to postpone her visit and Ana promised to call her the following week about the exact date. Scouring her bag for an aspirin, Ana arrived out of breath at the SIP building. She said good morning to Claire – but didn't slow down, despite Claire clearly wanting to talk about the new haircut - and quickly went up to her office.

Elizabeth came out to greet her. She looked a little taken aback when she saw the change in Ana's appearance. Ana opened her mouth to start her litany of excuses, but Elizabeth urged her not to worry; they would talk about it later. Relieved, Ana immersed herself entirely in a world she loved: the world of books. Suddenly, Hannah's voice interrupted. When Ana looked up, she realised that Hannah had probably been talking to her for a while. Nothing had registered.

'I'm sorry, Hannah. What were you saying?"

'I was asking you if had eaten anything yet. It's almost two o'clock,' Hannah pointed out.

'It is?' Ana asked, dazed. Hannah nodded and stepped aside so that Ana could see the clock. Hannah was right.

'Do you want me to get you something?' Hannah suggested. Ana shook her head.

'I should probably keep working to make up for…'

'Elizabeth said that I had to make sure that you had lunch. She also said that you should take as long as you like and that the two of you will discuss a certain matter at the end of the day,' Hannah relayed. She looked a little curious, but was professional enough to curb the interest. Ana meanwhile thought that her life could do with a little less excitement; she longed for the days when billionaires had not been interested in her.

'Okay, if I must,' Ana said, getting to her feet. Boy, was she stiff! Her neck and shoulders ached from sitting hunched over the computer screen for hours. Some fresh air and a walk would be nice, she decided. She rolled her shoulders and massaged her neck while Hannah looked on.

'I'll be back in an hour,' Anna informed her assistant. To get a head start on the exercise Ana was in dire need of, she took the stairs. Once she reached the lobby, she felt better already.

'I thought you'd never come out,' Elliot boomed. He was leaning against the reception desk. Judging by Claire's flushed face, he'd been flirting shamelessly with her.

'Claire here wouldn't let me up. She wouldn't even notify you of my presence. It took all my considerable charm to convince her not to call security on me,' Elliot recounted, grinning at both women. Ana couldn't help it; she was suspicious. What was Elliot doing here? What did he want?

'You could have called me on my cell. Didn't Christian give you my new number?' she inquired. Elliot's grin faded.

'Look, Ana, I'm not…'

'Why are you here? Did he tell you that we're getting married?' she demanded. Elliot rolled his eyes.

'Yeah,' he admitted. 'I told him that, considering his behaviour the past few days, thinking that you'd marry was him nothing short of delusional. That didn't go over well.'

They looked at each other while Claire politely pretended to be spellbound by her desk. Elliot approached Ana, holding his hands out in front of him as if to say 'nothing to fear here, see?' as he continued to talk.

'Christian has nothing to do with me being here, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not here on behalf of him. It was Kate's suggestion that I have lunch with you. Sort of like a bodyguard. In the light of… you know. So, in a way I guess I am here because of Christian,' Elliot concluded, not taking his eyes off her. That reminded Ana of Sawyer. Maybe he would attempt to follow her during her lunch break too. Or maybe there was a team and they operated in shifts. It was thoughts like this that threatened to give her a head ache.

'I am prepared to take a bullet for you,' Elliot elaborated. It was meant to be a joke and Ana interpreted it as one, but it still made her feel slightly queasy.

'How about we both duck? Will that do?' she offered. Elliot grinned again and nodded. They made their way outside and to a nearby sandwich shop.

'Are you hungry?' Ana asked.

'I'm always hungry,' Elliot replied. He was not kidding. While she ate one humble sandwich, Elliot devoured three huge ones – in record time. He finished before she was halfway through her sandwich. He watched her eat for a few seconds before rubbing his neck.

'Kate didn't just send me to be your bodyguard,' he confessed. 'I'm supposed to talk to you about my shitty childhood.'

Ana nearly choked on her sandwich. Elliot got up and pounded on her back a few times until she gestured that she was okay. She wasn't, though. It was so like Kate to meddle. Ana knew it came from a good place, but, well, the road to hell was paved with good intentions and all that. When Ana glanced at Elliot, she saw that he was studying her intently.

'We don't have to…' they said simultaneously, stopping at the same time. They both smiled awkwardly.

'I don't mind,' Elliot assured her. 'Sure, it's not pleasant, but it's part of me. So, if you want to…'

'Alright,' Ana mumbled. Elliot frowned and leaned closer. She repeated what she'd said; using her outside voice this time. He nodded and began.

'Okay, when I say that my childhood sucked, I don't mean my time with Grace and Carrick. I mean the first few years of my life. I don't remember a lot about it. Most of it was told to me afterwards when I was old enough to become curious about my biological parents. My bio dad is mentally disabled and my bio mom took advantage of him. She got pregnant and dumped me with him. He couldn't take care of me properly. He didn't know how. He treated me like a dog. I don't mean bad. I mean literally like a dog. He barely talked to me except to issue commands. He only touched me if it was necessary. I don't remember the cage I was kept in when he wasn't at home, but I do remember feeling tolerated instead of loved.'

Elliot was silent for a moment. Ana briefly wondered whether this was worse than what Christian had gone through. Maybe there is no 'worse' in these situations, she thought. Maybe there were only different kinds of horrible.

'He managed to hide me for almost two years before he was found out. When the authorities discovered my existence, they didn't take me away immediately. They thought that he was doing pretty well. After all, I was alive, wasn't I?' Elliot recounted, sounding bitter.

'What happened?' she asked, not knowing whether she wanted to hear this or not.

'The terrible twos. He couldn't cope, so he resorted to cruelty. It's hard not to be angry when I think about it. But when I met him as an adult it was hard to hate him.'

'You met him?' Ana whispered. Elliot nodded and sighed.

'He apologised to me, but it was like a child apologising to its parent. He only knows that what he did was wrong, because other people told him that it was wrong. Besides, he only remembers that he had a baby when he is reminded of it. I don't think he gets that I was that baby,' Elliot explained. After hesitating for a second, Ana reached across the table and took his hand.

'I'm sorry. Thanks for sharing this with me,' she said. He smiled at her and then gently removed his hand from under hers.

'Kate thought it might be helpful. It's not something I like to talk about, but it's in the past now. I've dealt with it. I've got scars and Christian's got wounds. And he doesn't seem to want them to heal,' Elliot emphasised.

'Are you eating that?' he added. Ana shook her head and he grabbed what was left of her sandwich. In between huge bites, Elliot told her that Sawyer had trailed them to the shop and was watching them right now.

'At nine o'clock,' Elliot mouthed. 'Your nine o'clock.'

Ana glanced left and spotted their stalker. Suddenly, Elliot stood up and took a couple of pictures of him with his phone. Sawyer quickly disappeared. Ana dropped her shoulders and moved her neck from side to side. Everything was tense because she felt so stressed all the time.

'He followed me this morning too. On the bus,' she told Elliot. 'You know, kinky mind fuckery is a lot less sexy than kinky fuckery.'

Elliot started to laugh. Fortunately, he was done eating by then.

'I think you'll be alright,' he declared. 'I like your hair, by the way.'