Judy and Nick walked into police HQ as they normally did. Judy looking like the characteristic morning person that she was, and Nick looking like a zombie out of a horror film. Nick had a large cup of coffee in one paw and was nursing it with utmost care.
"I don't get it carrots; we went to sleep at the same time last night. How are you so awake?"
"I grew up on a farm silly! Early to bed, early to rise!"
"Could you maybe sound a little less enthused about it? Seriously, have you ever slept more than eight hours in your entire life?"
"Yeah, but that was when I was really sick."
"How many did you sleep then?"
"Eight and a half."
Nick stared at her in disbelief. Rabbits, there infinite energy would never make sense to him as long as he lived. For now, he would just assume that all rabbits naturally produced caffeine internally. In any case they had to get to the morning assignments. Nick couldn't help but feel like and he and Judy were being watched as they entered HQ this morning. He could have sworn he saw at least a couple of ears swivel in their direction as he talked to Judy. Then again it might have just been the sleep deprivation catching up to him. When he entered the bullpen though he was almost certain that everyone had been typing on their phones before they walked in. This assumption was based on the ear splitting silence following their entrance. Something was up, he was almost certain. Probably the usual gossip about why he and Judy always walked in together so late. To be honest, he really didn't care much about his co-worker's interest in his and Judy's relationship. At the moment, the only thing that he really cared about was getting to the bottom of his cup of Joe.
Chief Bogo, as usual, stood at his podium in front of all the officers at the head of the room. Once again, also as usual, he left Judy and Nick's assignment till the very end. Although this time it seemed like today he waited an extra-long time before telling them what their assignment was, but maybe that was just sleep deprivation talking. Evidently it was not as the silence lasted long enough that Judy spoke up, thinking that he might have forgotten about them.
"Um, Chief Bogo?"
"Yes officer Hops?"
"You haven't told us what we're doing today."
"Well yes, that's because I have a slightly different case for you two today. You see, I need you two to go on a particularly delicate operation." Judy looked rather excited, causing Nick to merely roll his eyes at the never ending enthusiasm of Judy.
"Great, the more delicate the case the more complicated the paperwork right?"
"Right you are Nick. As usual I am assuming that your, colorful, history will be of assistance to this case. I would like you two to start out by looking into 'The Scratching Post.' It's a feline night club and we have reason to suspect that it is also one of the major entry points of nepetalactone into Zootopia." Judy raised an eyebrow and cocked one ear at this.
"Nepetalactone?" Nick leaned on one paw and sighed a little.
"The Green Dream, Kitty's Delight, Tiger's Eye, take your pick carrots. It's an oil derived from a plant that has a psychoactive effect on felines." Judy perked up a bit, seeming to catch on to what he was saying.
"Oh you mean Nepeta cataria!" Nick looked a little confused.
"I'm going to guess that is its professional name, but the rest of us call it catnip." The dots now connecting Judy realized just what Bogo was assigning them.
"We're busting a catnip ring!?" Judy looked utterly shocked. She knew that psychoactive drugs were a problem, but catnip was one of the most heavily controlled herbal substances she knew about. Nick, who was now sitting up a little straighter, continued the conversation about the case.
"So how much and how often?"
"We have at least fifteen hundred kilos coming in per week. That's an estimate based on how much we have been seizing around town lately. As far as we know this club is the primary distribution center." Judy let her jaw go slack, fifteen hundred kilos?
"So, do we have any suspects?"
"Dozens, but we want to find out where this stuff is coming from and shut it down, not just arrest a bunch of strung out felines. Let me know if you need anything to help you with your investigation." Nick now seemed to be fully awake and already had a look that suggested that he had a few ideas about how to go about solving this particular case.
"Actually chief Bogo, there are a few things that I think we could use."
Meanwhile, outside the bullpen a small swarm of officers had gathered around the door. All of them were utterly silent, each of them having their ears pressed up against the side of the door. [Marco] The Rhino was the first to speak up after having listened to their conversation for more than a couple of minutes.
"Damn, I could have sworn that Chief Bogo would have reprimanded them today." Another officer spoke up next.
"Yeah, I mean Bogo must be suspecting the same thing as the rest of us right?" said another
"Unless he thinks that they aren't in a relationship." Inquired a fourth
"How could they not be?" said a fifth
"Well, that's the reason for the betting pool isn't it now?" a sixth officer replied
Standing just down the hall with his phone held in both paws was Clawhauser, carefully videotaping the whole affair of a dozen cops pressed against a door taking bets on the relations of two other officers. Having collected more than enough video evidence of illegal gambling Calwhauser decided to make his presence known.
"Well, well, well… Look what we have here. A bunch of cops who are attempting to listen in on one of Chief Bogo's private conversations. I'm sure that he'd love to see this!" All of them looked slightly panicked at the notion of chief Bogo finding out that they had been listening to him talking to Judy and Nick rather than getting their assignments done.
"Come on Clawhauser! You have more money in this pool than any of us, we know you want to know just as bad as anyone!"
"Maybe I do, but right now I think I could really use a couple of cream filled donuts for lunch." Having now caught onto the nature of his game the rest of the cops stood up and got back to heading off to their various assignments. Once again, Clawhauser's doughnut hustle had found its mark. It was a little known fact, but Clawhauser had never paid for a single doughnut as long as he had been with the ZPD.
Shortly after the departure of the other officers Nick and Judy left the bullpen with chief Bogo, Nick apparently still explaining his plans to the chief.
"It's simple really, we go to the mall, get some trashy clothes while you requisition the items that I listed."
"You're the force's expert Nick, I'll leave you to it."
Chief Bogo parted ways with Nick and Judy as they headed towards their patrol car. Judy wasn't entirely following Nick's logic with this case.
"I don't get it, why do we need to go and buy entirely new outfits just for this case? Aren't our normal clothes enough?"
"Judy, Judy, Judy, after all this time you still don't know how I was so effective on the streets for so many years."
"I thought it was just that you were good at lying."
"Well, that's just oversimplifying it. You see carrots, to make someone believe in a lie you have to not only act the part, but look it too. In this case we need to look like the kind of people that happen to go to this sort of establishment. More specifically, we need to look like the kind of people that might be selling Tiger's Eye."
"Okay, which means … what … exactly?"
"Well it means that you need to look less like a morally tight laced goodie two ears who has never done anything illegal in her life, and instead more like someone who lacks the drive to succeed on their own and thus still depends on their parents, somehow finding within them the audacity to guilt them into helping them buy psychedelic leaf oil."
"That's horrible! And… really sad…"
"Oh the simple joy of knowing your audience Judy. Now let's get some new 'threads' and start looking like these individuals who make all too questionable life choices."