Chapter 4
Harry hated the night, he could never escape it. It came every day, like clockwork. He could almost feel the change immediately in his mood when the sun went down. The night meant sleep, and sleep meant nightmares. A place where he wasn't in control. Ever. He could only hope that his screams wouldn't wake up his Grandmother.

If Rose noticed that Harry's mood suddenly shifted, she didn't mention it and for that Harry was grateful. He saw how the later it got, the less he was willing to talk. When Rose said goodnight, Harry almost begged her not to go to sleep yet. He didn't though because he didn't want to be a burden to her.

Now Harry laid in the bed, in the room that Rose had gave him trying to think of ways to not have a nightmare. He wondered if it was like fighting dementors, you just needed a happy memory.

Flashback
Harry was back in fourth year, before the 3rd task. He and Cedric had snuck off from lunch to go into the Shrieking Shack. Harry had to convince Cedric that it wasn't really haunted. Harry knew that the shrieks were really from Remus during his monthly transition, but he couldn't exactly tell Cedric that.

"Cedric, I promise on my life that it's not haunted." Harry tried to keep his voice from laughing to much as his looked in Cedric's worried eyes.

"Harry, they've said this place was haunted when our parents went to school. When a rumor lasts that long, it means there's usually some truth to it." Well there was some truth in the rumor but again Harry couldn't exactly say our old DADA teacher was a creature of the night and needed somewhere to change safely. Harry ignored Cedric and tugged him into the shack, it was the perfect place to be alone. Almost no one dared to come near the Whomping Willow and if they did come near the willow, they have no knowledge of the tree.

"Harry, if you I died I'm coming back as a ghost and haunting you." Cedric murmured but Harry turned back to see a small smile on his face.

"You'd be a very cute ghost Mr. Diggory." Harry flushed when he realized what he said and flushed harder when he heard Cedric's laughter. Cedric always laughed when he got embarrassed. Harry found himself not minding as much, the laugh wasn't malicious, it was comforting.
"I think if anyone would take the cake of being the cutest ghost, it would be you Mr. Potter." Harry hid his face into Cedric's chest, the warmness that was radiating from it almost covering him like a blanket. Harry could stay there all day.

Both boys laid down on the blanket Cedric had laid out for them, Harry again snuggled into his chest and Cedric running his hands through Harry's hair. They hadn't yet put a label on their relationship, Harry hadn't minded though. Something didn't need an official title to be real, and if Harry was being honest he was sick of titles. That's all he had since coming to Hogwarts, first as the boy who lived, then the heir of slytherin he had enough titles to last him a century.

"Harry, What's your favorite moment?" Harry didn't want to answer, because if he was honest this moment was the best one in his life. Harry pretended he didn't hear Cedric, but Cedric repeated the question.

"You're going to think it's stupid." Harry mumbled into Cedric's chest. He could feel himself heating up he twisted his hands into the Hufflepuff shirt.

The Prefect, lifted the raven haired boy until they were looking eye level, "I will never think anything you have to say is stupid. I li-." Cedric stopped himself before he finished speaking. "What's your favorite moment?"

"My favorite moment?... It would have to be this. This moment, away from all the prying eyes. Being with some- a friend that cares about me for being Harry and not the boy who lived." Harry wondered if he would ever stop blushing in the seeker's presence.

"Funny, I would say the same thing, this would be my favorite moment, being with the boy I like." The boy he liked? Harry wondered if he heard him correctly.

"The boy you like?" Harry questioned, looking directly into Cedric's eyes. Trying to see if he was trying to deceive him in some kind of way.

"Yes, Harry. I like you, you Harry Potter. The boy with emerald eyes that shine on the field when he's flying. Where he looks like he couldn't be freer." Cedric stared back into Harry's eyes to make sure the raven knew that he was serious. It was a few seconds later when Cedric kissed Harry and Harry felt like he was on fire.

They broke apart panting, "I guess this mean I can call you my boyfriend?" Cedric asked Harry, for once Harry didn't mind the title.

End Flashback(AN: Okay but how cute was this scene it makes me want to cry)

That was Harry's first kiss, he could still feel Cedric on his lips at moments. God, he missed Cedric so much. He barely knew how he could stand at times. He felt like tsunami waves at time. It wasn't long until a wetness appeared in his eyes, he touched it. Almost surprised that he was crying, he hadn't cried once since the prefect's death. He didn't deserve to feel anything; he was the reason that Cedric was dead.
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Harry was helping Rose in the kitchen, they were making lunch. Harry was chopping the onions, Harry felt better, not complete but better. He was able to get a couple hours of sleep for the first time in weeks, and he didn't wake up screaming Cedric's or Sirius's name. Maybe thinking of a happy memory before bed had helped.

"So Harry, tell me about your friends at Hogwarts. You must have a million" The thought of Harry's friends bought a smile to his face.

"I don't have a million but the ones I have they're amazing. Hermione, she's easily the smartest girl I've met. If she doesn't know the answer, then she will find it out. Ron, he's like a big brother to me, he's right beside me in all my shenanigans. Neville, he's the bravest boy I know. He had to face the women who turned his parents insane, and he did it with ease. Luna, she's a bit eccentric but that's what I like about her. Sometimes she understands me better than I understand myself. Then there's Ginny, she's Ron little sister. I think sometimes she feels invisible being in a house with so many siblings so she tries to shine. And the twins, Fred and George. They love to joke but you can always count on them when they matter. And Ced-'' (A/n: For the sake of the story line, Cedric during the third task was seriously injured but didn't die and I'll go into more detail later but Cedric died in 5th year) Harry stopped himself before he mentioned his beloved.
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Severus kept replaying Rose's words in his head. He wasn't spoiled Severus, he was abused like you. Petunia didn't get over her jealousy of Lily and took it out on him.

His image of Harry shattered within seconds, how the boy was always to thin. He flinched far too much. There were so many signs and had he been Slytherin, he would have picked it up right away. He allowed his hatred of James Potter to blind himself.

He failed Lily in every way it mattered the most, he was supposed to protect the boy. Severus could feel Lily's disappointment in him. He's seen every year since he was 11 and he's ignored the signs. He ignored the boy's pain when he watched Diggory fade to death and when he witnessed his Godfather's death.

Severus could no longer ignore Harry, he is his best friend's child. His surrogate mother grand-child. He needed to do better by Harry, just like the Evans did better by him.

An: it's been long overdue and it's short but school has been a bitch. College is crazy time consuming and I'm going to try to do Nanowrimo next month but I'll continue to try to update. Read and Review friends.