The next few days were uneventful, and the next time Blackadder saw either Melchett or Darling was the next time he was called back up to Melchett's office. Darling seemed to be more hostile than normal, which was understandable; the man had been seen at his most vulnerable by the one man who would prey on that. But Blackadder was in a charitable mood and decided not to mention it, going instead for the more typical jibes about his name.
After a day of madness, narrowly escaping death several times and verbally sparring with Darling; Blackadder and his men had resorted to masquerading as chefs in the General's kitchen and avoided the Big Push. However, after a particularly dungy dinner, they'd fled back to the trenches. Now sitting around in the quiet dug-out, a lot of the trenches now empty from the soldiers going over the top, Blackadder decided to give the General Staff a ring to see how their dinner had gone down.
"Hello, Darling. How was dinner?" he asked, watching as Baldrick and George tried to outwit each other at Tic-Tac-Toe.
"Measly," Darling said. "You didn't really expect me not to recognise your voice over the phone? Pope Gregory the Nineth indeed."
"Ah."
"And I can smell Baldrick a mile away, I didn't touch anything except the bread. And even then I scraped the butter off, I know you Blackadder."
"Did the General enjoy the meal?" Blackadder asked. Baldrick had managed to get a four in a row, while George was trying to sharpen his stick with his army regulation knife.
"Oh yes, he loved it," Darling sighed, straightening a pencil on his desk. "Very disappointed that the chefs couldn't stay on, in fact."
"And why didn't they, Darling?" Blackadder asked testily. Darling had had the staff escort the newly employed cooks out of the kitchens, finding the very angry old chef locked in the pantry.
"If they did, I'd have starved and Melchett would have been dead in a week."
"And what a shame that would be."
"Careful, Blackadder I can have you done for treason."
"Melchett's royalty now is he?"
He could practically hear Darling's twitch.
"If you would please let me get on with my evening, Blackadder? We both have things to do?"
"Oh I'm sure brushing the General's moustache must be tiring work."
"Work that you wanted, Blackadder," Darling said, "Don't act like your above it all."
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Enjoy your Rat O'Van, Blackadder."
The phone line went dead and Blackadder put the earpiece down. He was glad things were back to normal.