The flash of playfulness in his eyes was enough to stop her heart and forever seize it in an abnormal thud.
He deflected an array of blaster bolts with his lightsaber as if it were an extension of his own arm, gracefully moving through the force; forever its master. The circle of Serperatists dared to move in closer around them, causing them both to take half a step back into one another, their backs colliding solidly.
She was sweating bullets, and her body quaked with adrenaline and movement within the force. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat; could feel the tension of his muscles even though her armor.
Then, a well aimed blast rocketed towards her, and he pivoted away as she dropped her lightsaber to duck into a roll. The weapon rolled away from her, only to be blown to smithereens by a Seperatist droid. She reached for the remainders, but the dead object could be of no use. Turning her attention from it, she realized she was suddenly exposed, and pounced to her knees – raising her hands to force-push a blast away from her and back into the sea of droids. It flattened them instantly, and suddenly there was a hand extended to her. She looked up to find Kenobi giving her a grin, lightsaber in his other hand.
"I see you've managed to lose your lightsaber," she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet, then gestured with his head to the opening of droids she'd created with her force-push, "how many times must I remind you to keep track of it?"
She gave him a sarcastic roll of her eyes, "I guess you get to say I told you so."
"I did, for the record."
He tightened his grip on her hand and she wrapped her arms around his, watching every direction carefully. He deflected blasts as they edged towards the opening, her heart pounding in her ears. She felt her throat constrict from the Geonosian sands. He whirled around and she released his arm to force-push a group of approaching droids back. He fumbled for her hands and yanked her around, powering down the lightsaber and jerked her towards the opening in a full-out run.
"Is it always this fun with you?" She yelled above the noise.
He laughed, "Only when I have friends along!"
He pulled her behind a rock formation and they crouched, listening to the metallic clanging of the marching droids, along with the barrage of blasterfire firing over their heads. She kept low, him positioning himself slightly over her to shield her. She blinked away the dust threatening her eyes and looked up at him. He grabbed for his saber and powered it up, smirking at her.
"A lightsaber would be nice,"
"Don't start with me, Kenobi."
His eyes twinkled. "You're actually doing very well for your first assignment."
"Patronizing me won't get you anywhere, you know. And it certainly won't get us out of this mess."
He winked at her. "No, I'm afraid you'll need a lightsaber for that, my dear."
The sound of parts raining to the floor shook her from the memory, jarring her back from her meditations almost as swiftly as she'd entered them.
Letting out a groan of frustration, she let her head fall back against the wall and took in a deep sigh. The lightsaber parts sat before her in a scattered mess, the crystal sitting motionless in her lap yet again – for the third time, the saber remained dismantled and incomplete.
She ran her fingers through her hair and stared at the object of her misgivings. Ever since that horrific mission on Geonosis – her first mission in the war – she'd been without a lightsaber, and she'd only just recently arrived back from her journey to find another crystal. It had taken her four days to wander the caves of Illum and find her saber, all the while battling her own shortcomings and emotions inside the ancient caves of those Jedi before her.
It was a simple task, really. Building lightsabers were tasks assigned to even padawans at the youngest stage of their trainings; typically masters never really needed to construct them again in their lifetime, given that Jedi usually never really needed to create another. A much wiser and more experienced Jedi could keep their sabers for a lifetime without having to worry about it – Jedi that were practiced and efficient in their possession of such elegant weaponry.
But with lightsaber construction came its difficulties – it required a raw and pure mingling with the force, she remembered. A new, simple outlook on the force was what constructed a lightsaber; not the intricacies and inner workings of complication that Knights and Masters found within it. It was why lightsaber's were usually crafted by padawans and younger Jedi – they had a pure and uncomplicated understanding of the force and did not befuddle its workings like that of more accomplished users. It was a raw and powerful connection that required dedication and a simplicity which was so often lost to the older: a childlike faith and aspiration.
It should not have even taken her four days to find the crystal. She reasoned it took her so long because she was mostly battling with her own emotions, as she had been these few months in the wake of the "event". Clothed deeply in the darkness of her secret engagement to Obi-Wan Kenobi, she had found herself at odds with her meditations and herself – odds that she had never before experienced as a Jedi. She'd begun to question a lot about herself and the Order at each dawning of a new day, and as the war continued to drag on and complicate further, she began to question the involvement of the Jedi as well. So many were falling every hour – lives, brought to an abrupt and screaming halt at the hands of war no one truly understood. Clones, civilians, Jedi – people were dying at the hands of politics and of democracy, and she had begun to wonder if it was even worth it in the first place. Peacekeepers had no business in a war of diplomacy, ties to the Republic or not. Had they failed in their job as the war was a result of such efforts? She had feared the worst, but had consoled herself – the Jedi were Peacekeepers, not gods.
She had also faced the fears she'd long since harbored since her fist confession of love to Obi-Wan that day in the gardens of the Temple. Her fears of inadequacy in being a woman, a Jedi, a soldier. She had feared herself at every turn in the development of their relationship - feared in letting him down, betraying the Jedi, compromising the Republic. They'd already discussed the details of their engagement in depthly before his last deployment – they would not be married without the approval of the Council, which would come at a high and hefty price, they'd both realized. They hadn't discussed much after that: what would happen if they approved, and what would happen if they didn't.
Her biggest fear she had encountered in the caves of Illum had been that: the idea that the Council would refuse their plea for marriage. It had never before been considered outside of necessity within the Order. Ki-Adi-Mundi had married to keep his species alive; others for much the same reason or another. Love had never been the grounds for marriage within the Order – attachments were forbidden, on all counts. Attachments lead to greed, which led to selfishness, which led to the dark side. It was against the Jedi to love romantically, but not to love selflessly: to be willing to die in the place of another, or lay yourself down for a cause greater than yourself. Which, to her was much the same thing as the love she felt for Obi-Wan, and he'd reciprocated the idea. But, as her fears in the caves of Illum had shown, the Council did not feel the same.
It was an infuriating precept, the forbiddance of attachment. How could something so pure and beautiful such as this love she felt for Obi-Wan be denied anyone? How could it make anyone evil? She had never felt so pure and so right as she did in the wake of loving Obi-Wan Kenobi; she had never felt so complete. Her life as a Jedi had been devoid of color and of emotion and…person. She had never truly discovered who she was in the Order outside of her love for Obi-Wan Kenobi, and as a woman who had an identity now loving a man, she felt herself for the first time as a woman and not just a Jedi. She felt unique, special – individual. Not a sterile, protocol Jedi that followed the Code and took orders and adhered to the movements of the force.
Not all attachments were evil, she surmised. Most weren't. Most attachments stemmed from the heart and the want to love someone other than oneself, to love something other than a loveless Code that could not complete a human being or express emotion back. That could not lay its life down for you like another free-willed human being could. It was when emotion and attachment drove a person to being a power-hungry, selfish being that it was wrong. It was wrong if it was served at the expense of a greater purpose – if it was selfishly taken and achieved. If it drove one to commit evil atrocities, then it was wrong.
The Council was afraid. Afraid of losing its place within the galaxy and the force to human attachment and the fickleness of emotion. It strived for balance for peace – a good development to strive for, but at the cost of human emotion and personality? Was it not what set peoples apart, the ability to love and communicate with other life? The Order was killing the Jedi's ability to relate as human beings and to feel what was meant for people to feel – it was killing their ability to be sentient, whole people. To suffocate and forbid emotion was like to forbid personality, as personality is built on an individual's ability to handle and express emotion. The Council was simply afraid of losing its stability and its balance within the force – and they were unwilling to compromise it at the fickle likings of a person. She reasoned it was easier to forbid than to forgive; easier forbidding than to trust.
She had confronted these things in the caves while searching for her crystal – lost herself in her meditations a few times by journeying far to deep into her own heart and thoughts. Mostly her thoughts bombarded her meditations – no longer were the days where she could simply empty her mind and self, no. The force had changed within her realization, and now simply her meditations were quiet ponderings and whisperings of her thoughts in prayers. Fearing her disconnection with the force, she had talked to Obi-Wan about such developments and had found he too had experienced such a shift – his ability to empty into the force had been compromised: instead they were quiet sessions of reflection and silence. As neither one of them seemed to be lacking in the force, and as no one had seemed to notice, they had determined it was not a wrong development and warranted no worry.
She, for one, had felt lighter as an individual. No longer was the burden of question on her shoulders anymore; no longer the lack of purpose a hole in her gut anymore. She felt put-together and at peace, at balance and rest in her knowing that she was loved for being her. She had felt a connection with the force on a new and stronger level – it eased through her now instead of having to be pressed into. It had greatly deepened her understanding and use of it. No longer was it a struggle nor attempt; it came almost as an extension of herself. A fine development indeed, that had not gone unnoticed. The Council had taken notice of her improvements and had praised her for it – so much so that they had sent her on assignment to Geonosis with information for Obi-Wan's squadron of troops.
It had been her first time in battle, and she had relished it more than was probably appropriate for a woman pledged to peace. The adrenaline had laced her blood so thick that it almost left her in a haze; the excitement and uncertainty had cast a tickling anxiety that pushed her forward and challenged her instincts. She was unsure of what would happen on the battlefield and had to rely on her trainings and the movements of the force for survival – all developments not experienced in the quiet halls of the Temple. She had thrived quickly on the field, battling behind soldiers and feeling a new understanding and drive of war – she now knew it and competed with it instead of heard and wondered. A newfound respect had rushed through her as she'd saw bodies fall; a newfound respect and reverence, as well as grief. Whereas before she had grieved the very thought of war, she now grieved its presence and permanence. It was etched forever on the face of worlds and in the eyes of soldiers – of Jedi, and civilians. It left traces that would never be forgotten and could not be matched.
She too had seen a part of Obi-Wan she never would have in the Temple – a dominance and strength that he seemed to shed upon return to Coruscant. He was forever the pillar of power and of thought on the battlefield – his eyes were forever cast with an edgy, uncertain glow that added to his intelligence and his grace. She had seen the shift inside of him; the rise to task and duty that she hadn't before. His maturity and superiority seemed to triple, if possible. His wisdoms and insights were precious information know, sensitive. No longer were they topics of discussions or classroom stories.
His swift possession of her on assignment had been unexpected on all levels. The troops had been surprised he'd taken the Jedi under his protection – rarely was she anywhere without Obi-Wan close by. He kept a close and steady eye on her, presence ever a whisper away from her. It had been unsettling the first few days, as she'd never really experienced such protective possession before. Quickly, however, she fell into such ministrations and found herself longing for the closeness of her former Master.
Forever the Jedi, their relationship did not advance on the assignment. Rarely they ever spoke as the individuals who had professed undying love for the other – only once he had dared to whisper a breath of love in her ear, and even then it had been dangerously exposed to the Clones. It had only been so juvenile the day she'd lost her lightsaber, when he'd been teasing her. Other than that day and the whisper of affection, he had been nothing but the gentleman; nothing but the crude and proper Jedi she hadn't known for so long.
She had quickly discovered in the caves that he was a part of her she had never known before – she had had dreams of him as she'd laid her head to rest; dreams of their life together. Good and bad, but mostly good. She had felt him move in the force towards her in one of her meditations; a hot and strong presence in her heart that she had never before felt from him. Obi-Wan Kenobi had become a part from her without ever having laid a physical hand to her body – at least in the force. Their connection had been present that first time, but it had only deepened in their time apart. She'd feared that it would fade as time away from him grew longer and longer, but she'd been wrong. It would only grow deeper; her fondness for him stronger. It almost became like a sickening pang in her gut, her desperation and worry for him. But, only the caves of Illum did she realize that she was a part of him in a way that she had never known possible.
Also in the caves she had quickly discovered her own fears of losing him – nightmares and visions of horror accompanied her as much as good dreams did. So often she saw him fall in battle that it was as if a thousand blades had been staked in her heart. She felt a raw and harsh pain with each vision of his falling in death – a brutal thrashing of her emotions when she'd held his lifeless body. Her heart had literally pitched in a rageful scream when she'd started awake after a horrific dream of him in a Sith temple, struggling for breath. Of course these had all been dreams, but with each she had felt a piece of her die in the force along with him – a piece of her die in her heart, as well.
And then, after having overcome her shortcomings, she had found her a crystal - a beautiful blue that was elongated and about the size of her ring finger. It was terrifically cut and shone like a star a hue of blue so magnificent that it would rival the very sun. She had plucked it from a small stream running in the caves and had felt its warmth and the pull in the force – it had been her crystal, for her new blade, and it had called to her a name that she had never before felt rush through her very blood: Kenobi.
She had no other notion to reason other than that it had been an omen – an omen that she was to marry Obi-Wan Kenobi. A desperate hope that the Council would concede the act and give them a blessing, even if half-hearted and unsure. It had felt so beautiful to feel the name run through her body; so beautiful that it had slipped off her tongue and rang through the caves with a resounding song. It had felt right. As she'd sat with the crystal in her palms, staring at its elegance, she had felt light – light in the very being of her soul; light as if she'd never felt it before. A pull to the light side so permeating that it swallowed her whole and whisked her away before she had had any attempt at logic. And, she had felt Obi-Wan with her in the caves in the force – felt his smiling laughter and compliance to give her the name she so desperately desired.
That it been four days and three attempts at building her saber – a total of eight days away from the power of a lightsaber. Each time she had sat to construct it in the force she had felt herself disconnect; lost in the memories and visions she'd found in the caves. Since her possession of the crystal she had done nothing other than long for Obi-Wan's presence beside her, suddenly very aware of the ache inside of her heart. She had been eight days away from her love after having spent a long month on Geonosis, so close to him. It was as if he were a drug and she were experiencing withdrawls.
It never got easier, being parted. After their sparring match that had rendered her powerless – the first time she had seen a man's bare chest – she had not seen him for three months; he'd been stationed on Geonosis to begin preparations for a siege on the planet. Their only communications had been through a transferal of data and information on her end – outside communications were not priorities on missions such as these. Blessedly she'd been given the task to oversee the transfer of whatever data and communication needed to be handled to him – she conferred with him sporadically, but not infrequently. Sometimes she got the idea he was just lonely and craved her company, as he'd call for seemingly useless information that she knew he had already fully been aware of.
Then, she'd been stationed with him at the prodding of the Council and had lost her lightsaber, but not her tact. She'd grown as a Jedi, a soldier, and a woman on Geonosis – as well as a friend. She'd begun to understand the Clones as more than just soldiers; they were men with personalities. She'd actually grown rather fond of Commander Cody, the office assigned to Obi-Wan's personal entourage. Not only was he Kenobi's right hand in battle; he was his confidante in a way that she never could be. Their friendship was mutual and strong, as well as understood. As such, she had longed to get to know the man Obi-Wan praised so much, and she'd taken it upon herself to know him, and the others personally. She had not been disappointed.
And now, eight days away had felt like eight eternities.
She groaned and plucked the crystal from her lap, moving it through her fingers carefully. Staring at it would not make him come back sooner, she realized. It would not manifest his presence. It would simply lack being a lightsaber, was what it would do; staring at it like this. Puffing out an exasperated breath, she enclosed the crystal in her fist and drew it to her forehead, letting her head fall back against the sparse walls of her quarters within the Temple.
Her body still ached from the shock of the Geonosis assignment, but not as much as her soul did. She would give her right arm to be back there again beside Obi-Wan and Cody and the Clones; fighting and actually doing something other than pretending to be useful in the efforts against the Seperatists. There, at least, she felt needed and useful instead of an errand boy for a much bigger cause in the galaxy. She swallowed a rough sigh and then opened her eyes, looking to the spewed parts fanned out before her. A hilt, and likewise parts sat dead; awaiting her construction within the force.
This isn't that hard, she told herself, "not that hard." She rolled her head to look at the door, and pushed herself up off the floor, brushing her hand against her leggings and moving towards it. Perhaps a quick walk to refresh herself would level her head and settled her unsettled nerves.
But, as soon as she came to the door, she knew it wouldn't and turned back around on her heel. She'd already been on two walks around the corridors, as well as a rest in the gardens to read from Obi-Wan's selection of poetry. She had simply been delaying the inevitable and postponing the necessary. She would have to construct this lightsaber one day, and that day was to be this day, regardless of how empty and useless she felt. She sighed, reached her hand to her curls, and ran her fingers partway through the mess that ran down her shoulders and back. She eyed the incomplete project and then sighed, letting her head fall back again and closed her eyes to the ceiling.
She turned, fell to her knees, and focused herself there. She bit her lower lip and breathed in sharply, then exhaled slowly through her nose, letting the quiet permeate her senses. It was so quiet as to threaten her sanity – so quiet from the month she'd spent on Geonosis. She felt her blood began to heat and then exhaled again, slower this time. She began to settle now, her nerves unwinding, and she opened her palm containing the crystal, and felt it warm in her palm.
A lightness suddenly washed over her before a sharp pull jutted itself in her gut. It knocked her back in the force only slightly, peaking her awareness, but she did not move. Instead she let it fester in her core for a few moments as she felt the force begin to control her movements: the crystal rose out of her palm and she listened as the pieces of the lightsaber lifted off the floor in a swift and quiet rattle. Her eyelids fluttering, she almost dared a look at the project, but didn't dare – instead, moved her hand outward as if to touch it, feeling the force surge through her.
And then, she felt a sudden invasion and bombardment in the force rush inside her chest and steal her breath away, and somewhere in the room she felt the sudden warmth of light hit her back, as well as heard a distant, mechanical whine. She gasped and pulled her hand back, feeling the familiar presence and warmth in the force, and the pieces of the lightsaber hit the floor with a clatter. Her eyes whisked open and she suddenly realized she was awash in the shadow of a figure – a broad shouldered figure, whose shadown enveloped her and her lightsaber parts in a dark cloud.
Her heart hitched and her breath caught, and she whirled around quickly on the floor, suddenly possessed. The organs in her body began to melt away when she took in the figure in the doorway, a sudden joy bursting forth in her soul like she had never experienced before. Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes and welled, and she pushed herself off the floor gracefully and stood in his shadow, swallowing thickly. Her body began to quake in newfound ways that both overjoyed and terrified her. She felt herself slowly begin to lose control of her emotions, a sudden sob erupting from her throat, as he stood in the doorway smirking at her; ever a picture of strength and stability. The silence between them was as thick as the tension as she felt the days of emotion and concern and fear rapidly fall away and build all at once.
Then, without a second thought or breath, she threw herself at him and he stepped into the doorway to meet her, arms open to receive her now sobbing form. She flung her arms around his waist and pulled him towards her to close the gap between their bodies, burying her face in his chest to sob. He put a comforting, gloved hand to her head, the other arm wrapped around her waist securely. The familiarity of his wrist armor brushed against her hair, and his armored fingers enmeshed with her curls, the familiar scent of him enveloping her senses. He hadn't even shed his cloak; she'd noticed as her fingers wrapped around the tawdry material.
She stood there in his embrace for a few long moments before he took her face in his hands and tipped her head back to look at her in the eyes. He had a silly smirk on his face, but she noted that his eyes were brimmed with tears as well, ones he would not shed in her presence. She collected her breathing and exhaled shakily, him taking an armored finger to brush away her tears. She tilted her head in his palm and raised a hand to wrap her hand around his wrist, as if to silently ask him not to withdraw his hands.
"My dear girl," he chuckled, "here I thought you would be happy to see me, and yet I'm received with the tears from the saddest eyes I have ever seen," he too tipped his head and gave her a sympathetic – and apologetic – expression. "I'm alive, if that helps your distress."
She smiled at him and chuckled through her snifflings, "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered, closing her eyes. She exhaled a sigh of relief, and it came out shakier than she had anticipated. "I was so worried."
He winked at her teasingly, "You were only gone eight days," he chuckled again, "how much trouble could I possibly get into?" They broke into a fit of chuckles, and he let his hands fall from her face and stepped by her, into the small quarters.
She closed the door with a wave of the force and turned to meet him. He stood before her incomplete project and looked down at it, unmoving. She came up beside him and wrapped her arms around his, resting her head on his shoulder, only to move and wrap her arms around his middle. She kissed his shoulder quickly, and he blinked at the pieces, eyes focused on the glowing crystal.
"I thought you'd have this done," was all he said.
She sighed. "I've been trying," he turned to her, and she reworked her arms around his middle, him smoothing her hair with one hand, the other taking her left hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to it.
"But?" he pressed.
"But," she sighed again and looked to the pieces, "I've been…distracted. Every time I get focused enough I get sidetracked." She gave him a smile, the tears beginning to settle and dry on her cheeks. She felt a new set begin to brim in her eyes at the depth in his pale-blue ones, "I've been thinking about…us."
He nodded, suddenly solemn. "I know." He let out a sigh and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. He bent to place a kiss in her mess of hair, and she let out a sigh, falling into his embrace.
They said nothing a long moment and he pushed her back slightly, then took her chin in his fingers and tipped her head back; bending to kiss her sweetly. She met him on her toes and pressed her palms onto his strong chest and allowed his lips to guide her deeper into their moment. She felt her body strike to life like a match, every part of her suddenly found and awakened under his attention. Her knees buckled.
He let out a soft moan of pleasure and pulled back, breaking apart from her. She felt suddenly small beneath him, noticing the intricate changes in his body that she had missed in his presence on Geonosis – his arms were slightly thicker, chest firmer. She looked at his face and saw that it was dark from Geonosian sunlight; his beard slightly unkept, along with his hair, which had fallen into his eyes. She reached up and brushed it aside, then let her hand fall into place along his jaw, her fingertips lost in his beard.
"I have missed you," she confessed.
"As I gathered," he smiled at her, and she giggled, his eyes taking in the fullness of her face, "and I missed you, as well." She gathered he had missed this more than her presence, as it had not been that long since they'd been parted – and by the warmth emanating off his body, it was a thought not betrayed. "But," he suddenly interjected, then began shrugging off his cloak, gesturing to the floor, "there is time for that later."
He folded to the floor, cross-legged, unexpectedly and folded his cloak over his arm, setting it next to him. He looked up to her and ran his fingers through his hair a few times, and gestured to the spot beside him. She watched him, blankly.
"Come," he said, his tone serious, "this lightsaber isn't going to construct itself." She blinked at him, and he smiled coyly, "and I would be foolish to go into battle with an unarmed woman, much less a Jedi." When she didn't move, he raised his brow, "What's the matter?"
She cocked a hip and crossed her arms, "You've only just returned," she shook her head and gestured with a hand, "and you want to construct a lightsaber? Have you no decency?"
He laughed, "If I had decency, I'm afraid I wouldn't be the man I am today," he chortled now, "Now, my love; sit with me and let us construct your lightsaber. I have to be at a debriefing with the Council shortly, and I would like this to be done before I get to it."
She raised a brow. "You're sounding more and more like a husband each and every minute." She was all teasing seriousness, and a glint of humor caught his eyes and he reached up for her hand, then sharply pulled her down beside him, catching her in his arms before she hit the floor.
"I need to practice sometime," he retorted smoothly, "as I'm quite unfamiliar with the duties of such a responsibility."
She rolled her eyes. "A smooth tongue does little in the wake of marriage," she chuckled now, and wrinkled her nose, "and, as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the great Negotiator of the Jedi Council, I feel you should know that tidbit of information."
It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Aren't you so kind?" he swiftly gave her a chaste kiss and she transitioned across from him, the parts of her lightsaber between them. She could feel him study her movements as she settled into the same position as he was, and let out a puffed sigh. "Now," he cleared his throat and closed his eyes, "take a minute to quiet yourself and let's begin."
"Yes, Master." He popped an eye open at her, a smile daring his lips. She couldn't contain a giggle as she closed her eyes. She folded her hands in her lap and then added, "How is this going to work with our…new sense of the force?"
He was quiet a moment before letting out a smooth exhale, "Hmm," he contemplated, "I don't know. We shall have to see." He inhaled slowly and then released the breath through his nose, "Focus your attention on the crystal, just as before."
She said nothing, and instead moved towards the warmth brewing inside of her at the mention of the stone. A peace she had lacked in these eight days suddenly came over her, and she felt Obi-Wan's presence beside her in the force. Suddenly invigorated, she welcomed the warm rush over her body and exhaled an easy breath. She force, instead of coming in choppy waves, floated over her in a serene flood. Her heartbeat began to settle and she felt her nerves give way under the pursuit of the force, her body relaxing even as she sat. Her muscles began to unwind, her bones begin to sway only slightly as they did under manipulations of the force. She felt Obi-Wan sink into the depths as well, and suddenly felt a push from him in the force, which she responded to.
She raised a hand and beckoned through the force for the crystal, then stopped it when it was within distance. Then, with the other hand, she raised the pieces of the saber from the ground and brought them close, feeling their workings in the air. The force came in a rush, and a moving pattern suddenly came alive in her mind, and she saw the picture of the saber coming together. She inhaled and felt a release, then Obi-Wan's pull in the force – she felt a piece thrust into another, and a sudden tingling erupted across her skin. Suddenly she felt very aware of her surroundings and not at all empty, her mind beginning to run with thoughts – however, thoughts that didn't distract her. She felt Obi-Wan again move in the force, then pull back. In a sharp moment she felt a rush of the force that knocked the air from her lungs, and then Obi-Wan's steady voice.
"Concentrate," he murmured, "it is only me."
She felt a fire begin to settle over her, then a wrapping of the force around her heart again. She felt the crystal explode in a flame of heat and power, and suddenly together she felt them thrust the crystal into its home chamber. A blow hit her gut, and she felt Obi-Wan move towards her in the force again and connect with the core of her stomach. Their strength in the force intermingled and expounded in a rush. The crystal began to hum.
She then brought her hands within stroke's distance from one another, and listened as the pieces began to work amongst themselves in a beautifully constructive clatter.
Within minutes the saber came together between them, and it fell into her awaiting hands. She, suddenly coming out of the force, opened her eye and leveled again, her head slightly spinning from the connection with Obi-Wan. The hilt of the saver was warm, but fit her hand perfectly – a slender model, with black grips and golden accents on a silver hilt. She blinked at it, solemn, and then looked up at Obi-Wan, who was smiling at her.
"Congratulations," he said genuinely, "it would appear you've found your lightsaber, my darling." A smile pulled at her lips and she stood slowly, activating the blade. The blue, which matched his own, lit up the dimly lit quarters and cast his face in a wash of blue hue. He stared at her as if he were gazing at a masterpiece, her eyes forever cemented on the elegance.
"It is a beautiful sight," she breathed. The newfound power rushed through her hand and into her body; feeling the familiar hum of the lightsaber in her nerves was both reassuring and empowering. She felt a piece fall back into place inside of her, one that had been disjointed and disconnected. She broke her gaze with the lightsaber and found him staring at her, a fleck of desire and lust permeating his eyes.
"It most certainly is."
She deactivated the blade and attached it to the vacant clip on her belt, feeling it hit against her hip, suddenly at home. The reassurance filtered over her, and she stepped towards him, taking his hands in her own and intertwining their fingers. He stepped towards her to bridge the distance between them, and she fell into the mold of his body perfectly. "Thank you," she whispered, smiling at him.
He nodded. "Of course." Obi-Wan released her hands and brought them to her face again, stroking her cheek with his thumb before letting one slide down her arm temptingly – which sent pinpricks of warmth across her skin. It came to rest at her hip and snaked around her waist, his other hand moving down her neck to brace behind it and slowly move down her back. "Now," his tone changed to that of the studious master she had once recognized, "I believe it is time that you properly welcomed me home, my love."
She nodded, "Of course," she let her head fall back slightly and brought her palms to rest on his chest, intertwining her fingers with his faded and thin tunic. "What did you have in mind?"
His chuckle was deep and throaty, "Patience," he lowered his head to bring their foreheads together, "and let me show you."
With that, he bristled only slightly and gently draped her head over his arm, his hand from her waist coming to cup her cheek tenderly, his fingertips brushing her skin and playing with the curls behind her ear. The other arm boldly and solidly held her firm across her back, and he tipped his head and bent to kiss her deeply. Almost instantly she was lost in him, almost losing her balance by the ferocity and mixed tenderness of his ministrations. His beard tickled her chin, and it tempted a giggle in her throat. Instead, she let out a sigh of contented satisfaction, which only gave him more cause, and the traced his tongue across her bottom lip, and she returned the favor with savage vengeance.
Her hands moved down his chest and came to his torso, and she pulled the fabric of his tunic towards her, as if he could get closer. However, he did not betray her affections, because he suddenly and without warning thrust his tongue into her mouth, which startled her and caused her to buckle into him. Surprised, he broke their kiss and caught her by the arm. "I'm sorry –"
Breathless, she frantically shook her head and rose on her toes, slinging her arms around his neck and dragged him back down to rejoin them again, allowing one of her hands to fall back into place along his bearded cheek. Suddenly they connected at the waist, noting his fingers digging into her hip. "No...no," her breathing was short, "don't...be sorry," She dragged her nails slightly across the bearded skin of his jaw, and he moaned slightly, taking her by the hips and burying his fingers into her clothing. She swayed backwards slightly when he traced his tongue against her own, the sensation making her head light. He caught her securely by arm.
Then, without cause, his foot wrapped around her ankle and pulled abruptly – and suddenly her feet were gone out from under her and they were falling; her heartbeat racing, suddenly cushioned by the force before hitting the floor lightly, him positioning himself above her, but not straddling; off to the side. In a breath he was kissing her again, savagely pursuing every inch of ground that she would give him, her body quaking with every ounce of invitation and desire that a woman could muster.
Their breathing now shallow, she realized she was making noises she had never known one person could make in the wake of such pleasure. It was a mixture of squeaks, sighs, and moans that had seized her breath, which was surprisingly matched by his own guttural groans and breathy moans. She began to feel herself unraveling; nerves, pressure building in her abdomen, mind fuzzy with uncertainty. Every ounce of her was on fire, and she realized they both were sweating – clothing seemed to weigh the weight of an army on her body.
And then suddenly, he broke from her mouth and started planting kisses to her jaw, and down her neck to her collarbone, which elicited sharp breathes from her. She hadn't realized her fingers were digging into his back as sharply as they were, and her eyes floated closed as he sucked the skin of her collarbone tenderly. Sweat trickled down her temple now, and she felt that his beard was damp – and that every ounce as him was as tight and hot.. Half aware of him, she tried to focus her attention away from the bundle of nerves now pulsating through her gut, and instead drug her fingers through his hair tantalizingly. He grunted, and tenderly nipped at the soft flesh behind her ear. When she wriggled away, he kissed the spot instead.
Without warning, his fingertips brushed across the exposed part of her abdomen, which was showing as her tunic had ridden up from their fall. It was a familiar touch that she remembered from their dueling match and it was oh so welcomed. But, as his fingertips roamed farther up her waist, so dangerously close to her chest wrappings, she had to gasp and swiftly took his chin in her hand and pulled him up to look at her – and said nothing in subsequent return. They just shared a look, and she saw that reasoned was out of his grasp as much as it was hers. They were not thinking, only feeling – and it was fast.
When she said nothing, he lowered his head to meet her again in a kiss, still supporting himself above her on strong arms, his hair having fallen into his face again. He moved to straddle her now, knees on either side of her hips, her falling again farther into his strong, enforcing kiss. Her eyes fell closed again and she enmeshed her fingers with the front of his tunic again. Now entirely aware of his readiness, she lost herself in this time kissing him, letting her hands roam the strength and solid flesh of his chest, even beneath the tunic.
Far beyond thinking at this point, she was half aware that her hand was sliding down his chest and had stopped at the waist of his breeches, fingers laced in the loops and workings of his belt. She hadn't realized she was tugging, or that she was breathing in a mixture of gasps and breathy groans, until he broke their kiss and sat back. He stood on his knees now, staring down at her, his eyes hurting.
"No," he shook his head, voice tenderly soft, and moved his hands to her own and pulled them from his waist. He stroked her palm with his thumb, "that isn't something we should do, not now." She could tell he was as aching for it as she was by the uneasy shakiness in his voice, as well as the desire and passion rushing through his eyes. "We must wait."
She groaned and closed her eyes, arching beneath him only slightly at the terrifying thought of the ache settling in her lower abdomen. It clawed like a thirsty beast for him, in every way, and she let out a breathy gasp, "Oh, Obi-Wan…"
Her toes curled as his name came off of her tongue, as visions leaped through her mind. She had only heard of the workings of intercourse from the Temple, ever the dedicated and chaste Jedi. Every part of her now screamed to make the hearings a reality now, and it flared heat into her chest. Her body was on fire to the point she thought she would incinerate.
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back; taking in a deep, heavy breath, then raked his fingers through his hair. "Oh, my love, I know," he was almost gasping, and then let out a direct and sharp groan of agony, "…I know." He pulled at the waist of his tunic, and then sharply rolled away from her, now resting beside her, eyes closed.
He had to take a few moments of silence to collect himself, which she was thankful for - her body began to slow, the mechanics calming again until her heartbeat was now only a thud instead of a hammer.
They rested for a few moments, steadying their collective breathing, and his hand groped across the floor for her own and held it, interlacing their fingers tightly. He squeezed her hand affectionately. He was silent a long moment, taking deep breaths, until he finally spoke. "We cannot let this happen again."
She rolled her head to look at him. The very thought killed a part of her, as she wanted every part of him - and wanted him to have every part of her as well. "Oh," she sighed, "but why not? It was glorious," the confession was more of a contented sigh as a rush of heat pooled into her stomach again - her nerves tingling again at the very thought. Her head was still light and dreamy from the feelings and adrenaline.
He rolled his head to give her a desperate, knowing smile. "I am well aware," he blinked furiously, as if to clear his eyes, "but I am afraid that I am selfish enough to not be so self-controlled next time." His honesty was brutal and direct.
She smiled softly at him and nodded, then rolled her head back to look back up to the ceiling. She sighed deeply, and closed her eyes. She said nothing for a second before she remembered his debriefing. "You should go," she said quietly, "before the Council worries." The thought of him leaving socked her in the chest and dropped a weight into her gut, but she pay it any mind. She doubted that if he stayed she'd be able to relent, so he had to go. She knew he had to go.
He groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Everything in me tells me to stay," he rolled to his side and propped his head up in his hand, then brought her hand to his lips for another kiss.
She gave him a small, sympathetic smile. Everything in her wanted him to stay as well - but, she also knew he had been right. Such acts were reserved for marriage, and not to be soiled before then. A promise and anticipation best left until then.
Her eyes roamed down his body and she wriggled across the floor to come beside him, and brushed aside the hair from his face, draping the other hand around his torso. He crossed a leg over her own, his booted heel brushing her ankle.
She quietly smiled at him and wrinkled her nose knowingly, "All the more reason for you to go."
He nodded and pushed himself up, rising slowly, and stretched his back. She got up too, wrapped her arms around her middle, then reached up to run her fingers through her hair, puffing out a breath. The awkward tension was only slightly extreme, but the way he looked at her briefly was enough to send such thoughts of awkwardness out the proverbial window. She could never feel awkward around him again, even if she tried.
He extended a hand and cupped her cheek, thumb brushing her skin graciously, and gave her a lopsided smile. "You are a good woman," he nodded, and let his hand fall, then stooped to grab his cloak fro the floor. He shrugged back into it and she smoothed his shoulders, and they moved towards the door. She wrapped her hand around her lightsaber, which was still at home on her hip and strangely warm.
They stood facing one another, and she reached for the controls. He looked over her again and she thought better of the panel, instead raised a hand to open the door effortlessly with a wave of the force. He smiled at this and quirked a brow, shaking his head slightly. "A good woman, and a good Jedi."
She smiled at him softly, then stepped towards him to wrap her arms around his middle and plant a swift kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad you think so."
Obi-Wan grinned at her, cupped the back of her neck with his hand and pulled her forward for a quick kiss to the forehead. "I do," he pulled back, winked at her, and stepped through the door. He quickly stepped away from the door and then peeked back into it, "I will see you later, my love," his voice was barely above a whisper, and he tossed her a confident and overly attractive wink. She giggled at him and rolled her eyes. He moved out of the doorway and down the hall, and she stepped out the door to watch him go.
Her lightsaber swayed against her hip.