It was her seventh shot and she could definitely feel it. The room had turned into a teal coloured haze and the people around her were suddenly just blurry figures floating about in space.
"Cettie, are you okay?" It was Jemima (as far as Cettie could tell). Her face was clouded with concern, but in retrospect, it could have just been clouded to Cettie from all the whiskey she had downed. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Tequila is great!" Was all Cettie could spit out, giggling as she lost her footing slightly, knocking into her freckled friend beside her. Electra grinned back at her. She had probably had the same amount to drink as Cettie, but could obviously handle it a lot better than her blonde mess of a friend and so tried to reassure Jemima who was gnawing at her lip anxiously.
"I'll take care of her, don't worry." Electra placed a hand on the smaller girls shoulder. "Seriously, she'll be fine. Go and have fun! I'm at least 99 percent sure that that guy over there is checking you out." She pointed to a tall dark haired man who stood across the room from them. Jemima looked at him before blushing and looking back.
"Okay, please make sure she doesn't drink anything else?" Jemima asked as Cettie began inspecting the drinks table in front of her for something that she had yet to drink.
Electra took hold of her friends hand and yanked her away from the table slightly. "Got it."
"Ouch! Hey, that wasn't very nice." Cettie tried to look stern but as she placed her hand on her hip, she looked more like a pouting child.
Jemima laughed slightly before bounding over to the man Electra had pointed out. Electra turned to Cettie who was giggling again. "You okay there, Cettie?"
"Never better!" She slurred. "Hey this is my favourite song! Let's dance!" She grabbed Electra's hand before pulling her to the centre of the cramped room. She began to sway her hips in time with the beat, her moves becoming more and more embarrassing as she tried to coax her friend to dance along with her. Electra giggled at Cettie's awful dancing and soon enough she joined her, both of them demonstrating their best dad dance moves.
The two danced for 5 songs straight, laughing and trying their hardest to embarrass themselves in front of everyone. When a slow song came on they pretended they were a married couple and they slow danced, twirling each other round into various objects and people.
"Sorry!" Cettie called to a stranger she had just head-butted before rushing back to her friend's arms. She was exhausted. She rested her head on her friends shoulder as they swayed slightly to a cheesy 80's pop ballad that was probably from Victoria's iPod. Her hands were folded around her friend's waist despite her being all sweaty and gross, and Electra's hands rested around Cettie's neck.
Cettie couldn't believe she'd let Tugger psych her out earlier in the week. How could he even get in the way of her friendship with Electra? She mentally reminded herself never to put a guy before her. Chicks before dicks, or whatever. She thought of his perfect hair and his chiselled features and felt nothing. He was just her annoying neighbour from down the hall who sometimes came round to use their microwave or borrow some eggs. He was nothing. Electra was everything. She knew Cettie so well it was quite scary.
She was able to tell whether she was happy or sad just from the way she said hello, and she always knew when something was up. She was so thankful to have someone there who understood her completely. She knew she had Jemima and Victoria who were always there to help, but somehow Electra was different. There was a different energy about her that drew Cettie to her. She was always shy and mysterious until recently but ever since she opened up, she had almost changed her life in a way. And as horrifically cliché it was, Cettie loved it. There was something about those freckles and those laugh lines around her eyes that crinkled up when she smiled and her goofy teeth and her melodic laugh. Her dark eyes made Cettie smile, and even though they contrasted with her own bright ones, they somehow always seemed full of life. She was beautiful.
Cettie stood up properly, her hands still on Electra's waist. She looked into her eyes and froze. Oh my god, Cettie thought. Suddenly her hands felt odd and she was very aware that she was pressed against her in a room full of people. She backed away slightly, declaring that she felt weird and needed air, before walking out into the hall, leaving Electra standing on her own, confused.
Cettie paced back and forth down the dingy, narrow hall of her apartment building. She had obviously drunk way too much. There was no way this was real. She hadn't just realised that she was in love with her best friend. It was the tequila. The alcohol had just gone to her head. Obviously. Obviously. What was not so obvious was the small voice in her voice telling her to go back in there and kiss her. Her small friend who was probably confused and rather offended at Cettie's swift exit.
But as Cettie went to grab hold of the door handle, she thought of all those people in the room. She couldn't just go up to a girl and kiss her. She would be mocked. Ridiculed. People don't understand gay people. Hell, even she didn't fully understand them. And she was one. Jesus. Was she gay? Just as this thought occurred to her, she felt a sudden wave of nausea hit her. Her hands flew to her mouth as she ran for the fire exit situated at the end of the hall that led to the rooftop.
She took several deep breaths, doubled over with her hands on her knees. Her eyes were squeezed shut.
"Well, they were right. The view is much better up here."
Cettie snapped upright, her eyes wildly searching the dark rooftop for the intruder.
"Didn't mean to startle you, love." Tugger stepped into one of the floodlights that adorned the cemented floors. His usual smirk was plastered on his face but his eyes were clouded over with a look that Cettie just couldn't read in her drunken state. His outfits were always impeccable, but he seemed extra sharp tonight. However, to Cettie, this just made him seem jagged and pointy, as if all his edges were sharpened and threatening.
"What do you want, Tugger?" She spat out, taking a few steps back so that she was pressed against a wall. An attempt to keep her upright. She realised she sounded hateful and childish but she didn't care. Also she couldn't stop. She had so much hate for this man she barely knew.
"Nothing, nothing. Just came to see if you were alright, you know? I'm being gentlemanly, I've heard it's popular with your kind." He winked at her, causing her to grimace. Something that she'd usually hide from him, but her head was too foggy for her to stop herself. "Getting the cold shoulder, am I? I get it, I get it. Some girls can't handle everything I have to offer, but you'll come around, I'm sure of it."
Just as he said this, his arm snaked around her waist. All Cettie could think to do was push him away but his feet remained planted to the ground and the main part of her force sent her backwards into the ground. She hit the ground with a thud and slid 2 feet away into the darkness, a sharp pain now throbbing in her left hip.
"Oh, Jesus. Cettie, are you alright?" Tugger reached out a hand for Cettie but she scrambled away, still on the floor.
"Don't touch me, Tugger. I know you. I know you're a flirt, just please leave me alone… And leave Electra alone. We were better off before we met you and you've come here and messed it all up!" She knew how stupid she must sound. Her arms were flailing around in what was supposed to be a menacing way but just made her look clinically insane… And very drunk. Cettie could feel the vomit rising in her throat but she kept speaking. "Stop trying to take her from me! She is mine. Mine. I love her!"
"You love her?" Tugger had an unreadable expression – once again Cettie could not tell if it was her inhibited state that made it so. "Like you… love her?"
Oh God. She'd really done it now. Only mere minutes after she'd realised it herself, she'd let Tugger in on the situation too.
"No."
"You do! It's so obvious now! God, you follow her around like a lost puppy!"
"No I don't! Stop it, Tugger, this is isn't funny! Just shut up, shut up!"
Tugger began to laugh a throaty laugh. "Oh, wow. It all makes sense now!"
Wearily, Cettie gave up trying to shout at Tugger. "Do you think she knows?" Cettie began to panic. Her hands rose to her face and she became aware that they were shaking. "Oh God. I'm going to be sick. This is awful. So awful. She's gunna laugh in my face. Everyone is. I feel sick."
"Whoa, whoa, there Cettie. Calm down." Tugger crouched down beside her, keeping some distance between them but coming close enough that his face was no longer blurry. It was clouded with concern. "No one is going to laugh at you. Everyone loves you. Including Electra – trust me."
Cettie sighed, looking up at the blonde's built up figure. "Why can't I be normal and just find you attractive? Maybe I should just try and forget it, you know? Become one of those people who are closeted for life."
"No." Tugger replied forcefully. "That is no way to live, Cettie, trust me. You have to accept it."
"Oh, don't act all self-righteous with me. You're the biggest slut I know, why am I even taking relationship advice from you?"
"Honestly? I don't know. I'm not exactly the poster child for healthy relationships… But I do understand, Cettie, I do." His eyes were wider now, as if he was trying to telepathically communicate some secret code to her just through sight.
"Wait, what? You understand? How could you possibly understand unless you were – wait? You mean you're…?" Cettie shook her head. "That isn't funny, Tugger. I know you aren't really. Don't make fun of me."
"I know it sounds awful but I really wish I was just making fun of you." He sat down on the floor next to her and looked up at the sky. "I wish this was all one big joke and we could just start making out now and end all this shittiness. I would like nothing more." Cettie looked at him with a confused expression. What was he trying to say? He was the biggest flirt that she knew, he loved women. Why would he pursue so many of them if he wasn't interested?
As if he had read her mind he looked at her in her eyes. "It's stupid, I know. I just come from a family that doesn't accept that kind of thing. I don't know how anyone would react to it, not even Munk." He paused, his head falling slightly. "I guess I just distract myself with women to, I don't know, try and force myself to be straight."
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
Tugger laughed a laugh that wasn't happy in the slightest. "Honestly, I'm not too sure either. I'm not even drunk. I guess I've just never really met someone who was like me. I've had it on my chest for a long, long time."
The two were silent for a moment, both looking up at the black starless sky. The sounds of the city still infiltrated the rooftop and Cettie could vaguely hear two people having a lovers quarrel down on the street below them.
"So… what now?" Was all she could muster.
"I say," He stood up and extended his hand out to her. "We get you some water and get you into bed."
"Really, Tugger? How can you be so calm? We've basically just come out to each other and you're acting like nothing happened."
"Look, getting stressed out now will only make things worse. You'll get all paranoid and you'll probably go in there and say or do something you regret. There's no reason to stress or be sad about this when it's natural."
"If it's so natural then why am I the only person who knows about you?" Cettie asked, probably a little too accusingly.
"If I thought someone loved me back, then I'd be more than willing to tell people. I don't think Quaxo sees me that way. If I thought my friends and family would accept it gladly then sure, I'd shout it out from this roof top. But that's not my situation. It could, however, be yours. Now come on, let's get you to bed."
"But everyone's still at my flat, I wouldn't find a moment of peace with that lot dancing around for hours."
"You can stay at mine. I promise I won't try anything!" He laughed, and after a few moments she took his hand, wobbling slightly as she stood up. "I'll sleep on the sofa. Come on."
"I'm sorry, Tugger. It really must be awful."
"Hey, don't worry. I'm sorry for being such a wanker to you. I go a bit overboard with the whole straight guy thing."
Cettie let Tugger escort her down from the roof to his flat and within moments of lying down on his ratty old sheets she fell asleep dreaming of holding Electra's hand.