The (Insert adjective here) Smash Mansion

Chapter 2

"Uggghhh," Roy groaned, ever the plot device. "This is so boring! We've been here for the past, like, four hours!"

"Calm yourself, my friend. There is merit to your statement; however, that being said, it is not completely truthful - we have indeed been stationary for quite a while, but certainly not to the extent you have stated. I believe your final sentence to be a practice in hyperbole," droned Marth, currently sitting adjacent to Roy.

On the other side of the table, Cloud leaned over, between spouting verses of "Crawling" by Linkin Park, towards Link to ask a question.

"Translation?"

"You're right, it has been a while, but not four hours. You're exaggerating," yawned Link, raising a gauntlet - ed hand to his mouth.

"'Kay, thanks. Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will not heal..."

Link quickly tuned out the "ex SOLDIER" (wink wink, nudge nudge, spoiler spoiler), rested his head on his hands, and began to force himself back to sleep. Because somehow that's possible now. FANFIC LOGIC

The four, along with Ike and Pit, were hanging out in the main cafeteria of the Mansion. It was a weekday, meaning there was only one match a day, and all six of our lose- I mean, main characters had completed theirs for the day.

Roy huffed grumpily. "Whatever, my point still stands. I mean seriously, are we actually gonna spend all day lying around in the cafeteria of all places? I mean really! It's one thirty, they don't even serve food right now!"

"Yo, Bloods dude," Ike began, concerned. "Kinda pushin' the 'short tempered redhead' stereotype, home slice."

"Can't you see? We're ALL stereotypes!" Roy yelled into the large, mostly empty cafeteria hoarsely.

The ghostly voice of Headmaster Hand echoed back. "Stop breaking the fourth wall or you'll lose your status as a plot deviiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeee..."

Roy blanched and shut up.

"He has a point, you know," said Link, sipping and eating from a cup of tea and a plate of crumpets, respectively, that had inexplicably appeared in front of him.

"True." Cloud said monotonously, attempting to cut himself with the Buster Sword, hoping not to, say, lose a limb in the process.

"I agree, best friends!" Pit interjected, smiling so wide Link feared that the cafeteria would be sucked into his angelic teeth... Now there's an interesting thought.

"I can personally attest to said statement," Marth said, cleaning his fingernails of nonexistent grime.

"Okay, anyway. Sidetrack - ings aside, I can't be the only one who feels bored in here." Roy grumbled, annoyed at the crew's antics.

"Yeah, I want to go somewhere we can have lots of fun together, like the beach!" Pit cheerily exclaimed.

"Why yes, I am not one to pass up a clear opportunity to be used towards modifying my fair complexion," said Marth with an air of regality.

Cloud leaned in towards the other blonde swordsman in the immediate vicinity, but Link was anticipating the question. "Bloke wants to sun tan."

Cloud silently nodded In thanks, then stood to address the group. "'Kay guys, lemme be reals for a sec."

Ike rolled his eyes. That was the whitest thing he had heard all day.

"While I would love to mope at the beach, listening to the Hot Topic Krew's latest album, we've read enough classic Smash Mansion fics to know how this is gonna go."

Roy raised an eyebrow. Being a Melee vet who hadn't returned in Brawl, he hadn't been around for most of the Smash Mansion's golden ages.

"Roy is gonna prank Marth while he's sunbathing, and Marth is gonna Gary Sue his way out if it."

Marth nodded while Roy's cocked eyebrow was replaced with a look of mild annoyance. He felt the comfortable weight of the Sword of Seals on his lower back, but knew better than to use it. I mean, really. He wasn't THAT short - tempered. #redheadawareness2k16

"Meanwhile, Ike is gonna flex, trying to impress the ladies, but ultimately, elf boy and chicken wings here are gonna somehow woo them."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Ike looked at Pit's wings in a new light. Cloud cleared his throat before continuing.

"And, all the while, I'll be on a floating pad listening to edgy music."

"Wow! Sounds like tons of fun! I'll see if Mom can teleport us there!" Without even waiting for an answer, Pit began mentally calling his goddess. Seeing no disagreements within the group Cloud sighed. No one seemed to listen to him.

"You think you have it bad, mate? Try being a silent protagonist," Link yawned, awaking from his nap.

Cloud began to ask how Link knew what he was thinking, but was interrupted by Pit, seemingly talking to thin air.

"Twenty more love cuddles?" Pit was facing away from the group, so they couldn't see his lower lip trembling, nor the tears coming to his eyes. Stay strong, he thought to himself. For your buddies.

Of course, Palutena's smooth voice called back to him. For your friends...

And, with that, all six of them disappeared, to reappear at a certain Delfino isle...

Will everything go exactly as Cloud predicted? Will things go completely different? Does anyone even care? Find out next time on Super Smash Brothers!

A/N: Ok, another chapter up!

First of all, sorry for the relatively short chapter lengths. It's just my writing style, I guess. If it really bothers you, feel free to tell me through reviews or PM's, and I'll do what I can to lengthen them.

Question of the day: Marth wanted to go to a beach. Delfino Isle has beaches. Based on this knowledge, would you say that Marth wants the D? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stale memes aside, this is SubparHoot, over and out.

Still really nerdy.