A/N: I am excited to be back with my next post-ep for 17x11. This one was requested by barsonaddict, and I would like to dedicate it to her! She's amazing and her writing makes me swoon every time, so I can only hope this will do the same.
If there's a particular episode you would like to see next, let me know! Requests are more than welcome.
And a huge thanks to all those who read, favorited, followed and reviewed!
''Townhouse Incident''
Who at the NYPD do you trust?
My squad, my detectives.
No, someone with more pull. Someone that cares about you. Is there anyone at the NYPD who cares if you live or if you die?
It was the question that continued to haunt her, besides keeping everyone, including herself, safe. There were quite a few people she trusted at the NPYD, but those who truly cared about her well-being were very few. Of course her squad, Tucker as of mostly recently. Yet her mind only clung to the idea of Barba still caring.
They had been through hell and back as their careers began to test their relationship until it came to an abrupt end after the police shooting grand jury. Time and time again it seemed that their relationship hadn't been strong enough to withstand the immense pressure of their jobs. And after the police shooting they'd taken different sides, which seemed to have a lasting impact on them.
She had been unable to move past his unflinching questioning during the grand jury, while Barba was unable to forgive her dishonesty. It had been the case to test their resolve, and their relationship had fallen apart. Nothing had been the same since then.
Yet despite the end of their personal relationship, she only wondered how Barba felt during her time hostage at the townhouse. It was all that consumed her thoughts as the paramedics tended to her wounds and later as a cab drove her to One Hogan Place.
She had turned down invitations from the squad to go out for a drink, knowing her anxiety would only be settled by the mere sight of one person. The conflict, the fear of dying, the uneasiness of living an unfinished life. It could only be resolved by one person. By him. By the man she had loved and lost.
It was her need for answers that brought her to the courthouse in the dark. It was what carried her into the direction of his office. And when she finally reached his office, she hovered in the doorway.
Barba's focus was torn from the casefile in his lap when the sound of movement stole his attention away. His eyes shut up to the door, and a part of him wasn't surprised to see her standing in the doorway. His heart nonetheless skipped a beat at the sight of her. His first instinct was to jump to his feet and embrace her, to assure himself that she was in fact alive. But it was no longer up to him to care for her like that, so he remained on the couch instead.
He let his eyes trace the features of her face, his anger boiling at the sight of her bruised eye. For a moment all he saw was the conflict in her brown eyes, the immense need for something he couldn't pinpoint. So he let his gaze trace every part of her body, along her curves, and back up to her face. He needed that moment to assure himself she was there. That she was alive and actually standing there in the flesh. It was the only way of assuring himself, and keeping a respectable distance.
She continued to hover in his doorway as she felt his eyes on her. Her own eyes located the stern lines of his features, and forced her to realize that the day had been hell for him. She recognized the exhaustion in his eyes, the way his shoulders slumped. But the biggest sign was the glass of scotch cradled in his hand.
When their eyes met, she took a step forward, and then another, never losing his gaze. She walked over to him slowly, and with a purpose she didn't realize she had before. She lowered down to the couch and gently took the glass of scotch from his hand to set it down on the table.
With his eyes on hers questioningly, she turned to face him. ''I shouldn't be here.'' she choked, but she didn't pull back. She leaned forward, her head coming to rest against his. She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment of the intimacy she had missed so desperately.
Her actions spoke louder than words could, and he realized she needed this and so did he. Maybe even more so than her. ''It's okay.'' he whispered gently.
Seconds later, she felt him pull back slightly, only to press his lips against her forehead. She closed her eyes at the sensation and let her head fall to his shoulder as his arm pulled her body into his warm embrace. She settled down against him, her body beginning to relax as she felt the warmth of his body seep into her own.
They remained in the same position for what seemed like hours. No words were needed. It was their presence that only mattered. Their breathing, the warmth of each other's bodies, reminded them the other was still alive. That even after such a horrifying day, they had somehow made it through.
It was Barba who first broke the silence, never moving away from her. ''How are you feeling?''
She lifted her hand to touch her eye at his question, feeling the bruised skin beneath her fingertips. Her head was aching, her body tired, yet in that moment she felt more peaceful than she had in a while. ''All in all, I am feeling okay.'' she answered as she began to shift in his embrace. She pulled back far enough to be able to face him properly. ''What about you?''
He had been terrified as he begun to picture what life would be like without her. The idea of her not stepping out of that house alive nearly killed him too. He just didn't know how tell her that. ''I was worried for you. For your safety.''
''I should go.'' she whispered, feeling that she had made a mistake in coming to him.
She pushed herself up from the couch and made her towards the door, her heart sinking in her chest. She had hoped for something, something more. But she was too afraid to say the words herself. Too afraid because she couldn't have her heart broken again.
''Liv, wait!'' Barba suddenly pleaded.
Her hand was on the door knob when she heard his plea and it forced her to spin around. She turned to find his eyes watering, the emotion ever so present.
He stood in the middle of his office facing Olivia with an overwhelming emotion. ''I was petrified.'' he confessed without shame. ''I was terrified of losing you. I had to stand on the goddamn sidelines while you were in that house.'' he went on. ''I've never felt so sick in my entire life.''
She nodded through a set of tears of her own, closing the distance between them. ''I was scared, too.'' she told him. ''All I could think about was you and Noah.'' she cried out.
Barba initiated the last step, and wrapped his arms around her body, holding onto her tightly. ''You don't have to be scared anymore.'' he whispered into her hair. ''You're here, Noah's here, and so am I.''
With difficulty, Olivia pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. ''We have to talk about this, Rafael.'' she reminded him. ''You and I…we're…it's complicated. We recently found a balance again at work, and now…''
He nodded, understanding her hesitance. ''Liv, I understand where you're coming from.'' he began. ''But there's only one thing I realized after today, and that is that I'll give up anything if it means I can have a second chance with you.''
She wanted to believe more than anyone that a second chance was in the cards for them, but real life had a way of testing relationships. ''What about our jobs?'' she questioned. ''I want to be with you. I really do, but things would need to be different.''
He lifted his hand and reached for her cheek. ''Things will be different.'' he assured her. ''I have realized that all that matters to me is you and Noah, because I am in love with you.'' he said sincerely. ''I am so in love with you.''
His words shocked her to her very core. He spoke the sentiment with such conviction that it made her step forward as her lips slowly brushed against his. She moaned into the kiss as he pulled her closer to his body, deepening the kiss with an unrivaled force of passion.
This kiss represented tenderness and comfort. A promise that they would both fight for the other no matter the obstacles. The kiss contained all the pent-up emotion each of them had harbored since their separation, and it had led them to a moment of beauty. Their inevitable reunion.
As they broke apart, Olivia had trouble catching her breath. Her senses were in overdrive as she stared back at the smirk on his face. ''I love you, too.'' she said happily. ''And if things get hard, I promise you that I'll show up. I won't run away this time.''
He leaned in for another quick kiss, unable to believe what was actually happening. ''This has been one hell of a day.'' he said. ''We should go home.''
''Spend the night with me and Noah.'' she offered without question.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close once more. ''I would love that.''
Together they left his office in silence, both realizing they were walking towards a hopeful future. If today had taught them anything, it was the value of love, the enormity of their love for each other. And the small fact that they simply couldn't live without each other.