I have been dealing with writer's block for some time now, and getting this written took way too long, but I wanted to do it. So here it is.
I hope to update Changing Tides by the end of this week, and to post a sequel to Poison & Wine as well.
Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites!
''Motherly Love''
Despite her earlier rejection of his offer to go for drinks, she found herself sending him a message to ask him to come over. Holding Noah had lessened the sadness for the most part, but a lingering need to let go of the case remained behind.
The case had caused many emotions to surface. Memories of her own mother had come back, but it had also been accompanied by a fear for Luke. It was certain that his mother had damaged the teenager, and she couldn't imagine how any child could move on from such circumstances. She'd never wish that for her own son.
With that final thought, she turned around and hovered in the doorway of Noah's bedroom. She remained frozen as she watched his chest rise and fall. Nothing in the world could diminish her love for her son. Noah was her entire world, one of the few reasons to live for, and he reminded her every day how precious life was.
And to think a mother capable of betraying her child to save herself, nauseated her. The case was proof that not all mothers cared and loved their children like they should.
Her train of thought was interrupted when a soft knock on the front door grabbed her attention. A small smile crossed her face, knowing that it was Barba on the other side. She gently closed the door behind her and made her way across the apartment.
She opened the door and had to hold back a gasp at the sight of the ADA in jeans, a simple coat and a scarf. It wasn't a bad sight at all, and hinted at the casual nature of his visit.
''It's the jeans, right?'' he inquired when her gaze stayed low.
As soon as his voice rang in her ears she looked up at him, stepping aside at the same time. ''Hmm, no.'' she lied, but quickly recovered when he shot her a smile. ''Well, it's not your usual attire.''
He walked into the apartment and began to take off his coat as he turned to face her. ''I hope you like it nonetheless.''
She took the coat from his hands and already felt better by being in his presence. ''You always look good, Barba, and I think you're very aware of that.''
''If it weren't for the hint of sarcasm in your voice, I would think you were actually paying me a compliment.''
His face turned into a mischievous grin as she decided to pass up a response. In his eyes she saw nothing but kindness and compassion. After all those years of working together they'd gotten to know each other better than anyone, even changing each other's perspectives.
He was the one person who fought for the victims in a place where she couldn't. And their need to depend on one another had created a bond she never expected when she first met him. They'd grown closer over time and despite conflicts they managed to move forward.
''I can almost hear you think.'' he remarked. ''Anything you want to share?''
She shook her head immediately and moved into the direction of her kitchen. ''Scotch or wine?''
Barba approached and halted next to her, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back. ''Let me get it, Liv.'' he offered. ''Have a seat and I'll get the drinks. I have a feeling we're both in the mood for something strong.''
She felt no need to object to his offer. She walked over to the couch and sat down on the far end as she watched Barba move about her kitchen quickly. ''Thank you for doing this.''
His eyes connected with hers and he felt his heart swell at her words. ''You never need to thank me for spending time with you. Or Noah.'' he added as he took the two glasses and bottle of scotch over to her. He set everything down on the coffee table and handed her one of the glasses.
''I never did ask you how you felt about today.'' she said as he sat down on the couch next to her with a considerable distance between them.
He leaned forward with his elbows coming to rest on his knee, his gaze turning to ahead of him for a moment. ''Sometimes I think the world can't get worse. That people don't have anything more terrible to offer than what we've already been confronted with, but then there are days when humanity shocks me all over again.'' he told her openly. ''Today was one of those days for me. To see a mother betray her son like that…'' he stopped and shook his head when he was unable to continue purely out of disbelief from the circumstances.
''It's devastating.'' she mumbled.
He nodded a silent agreement, followed by him drinking his entire glass of scotch at once. He put the glass back on the table and leaned back in the couch. ''But then there's you.'' he whispered.
The words came with a wave of questions as she stared into his green orbs with her brown ones. She searched his eyes for any meaning, but was unable to trace his emotions. ''What?'' she asked softly.
He knew the timing to confess his feelings for her wasn't right in that moment. She was still recovering from her relationship with Tucker, and he wanted to give her time and space. He wanted her to be ready when he did tell her. So he settled for less of an emotional shock. ''You, Olivia.'' he spoke. ''You remind me each day that there's still good in the world.'' he went on. ''When I look at you, the world becomes better, the world is better. You're an amazing mother to your son, a great leader to your squad, and you're my best friend. You're a good person, and it's enough to remind me of the good in my life.''
''Barba…'' she croaked.
The distance between them decreased as Olivia moved closer to him, wrapping her hand around his on his knee. ''You're a good man, Rafael.'' she told him. ''I couldn't do any of this without you. On days like this I need you too.'' she continued. ''I can't imagine doing this job without you by my side.''
''You give me more credit than I deserve, Liv.''
She squeezed his hand gently as she shook her head in disapproval. ''Don't you see?'' she asked. ''You saved Luke's life today by not giving up on him. You made sure the right person was convicted and with that you brought justice. What you do is important.''
''Well, I have someone in my life who is a great example.''
Once again she couldn't help but smile back at him. He was the one person who could make her smile very easily. His presence was always comforting. He had a way with words and understanding of her that very few people had.
''So what do we do, Counselor?'' she asked happily.
He released her hand and moved even closer to her on the couch, his hand coming to rest on her leg. ''Do you mean right this moment or are we talking about something else here?''
She sighed as she enjoyed the warmth of his body next to hers. His hand resting on her leg caused a chill to run down her spine in anticipation. ''Both.''
''Right now we should continue sitting here and drinking.'' he suggested, seeing her lips curve into an even wider smile. ''As for the future I think we should take it slow. This, right here, is enough for now.''
She leaned with her body into his as she watched him closely, thinking of what to say next. ''I couldn't agree more.''
He just nodded at her words, his hand reaching out until he caught hers again. He gently squeezed it, brushing her fingers over her hand at the same time. ''Good because I really want to see where this can go.''
''I feel like we're already so deep into this that there's no turning back anyway.'' she told him, finally voicing the feelings she had been carrying with her for a long time. ''Sometimes I feel very conflicted about us.''
He stared into her eyes intently. ''I know what you mean.'' he said in a soft voice. ''I've always lived by the rules and I impose them on others. A relationship between us could risk our careers. But when it comes to you, I don't want to live by the rules anymore. You make me happy, and that's something I don't want to let go.''
''Then we should continue this.'' she told him strongly. ''But I don't want complicated anymore, Rafael. I've done complicated with Tucker and Brian. I…I…don't want that for us. I want this to be simple. Just normal.''
He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he pulled her closer to his body. ''I can do normal, Liv.'' he agreed. ''So let's be normal together.''
Her body was relaxed in his embrace as a silence surrounded them. In that moment, the world was good as they gave each other a feeling of normalcy and understanding. A feeling that perhaps with each other life could only become better, and that together they could make the world a better place.